Chapter 1: YEMF 62

"I should call the library and let them know I'm alright," Xander said, making no move to get up from where he sat in front of the couch, Dawn running her fingers through his hair. He held his right hand up to his face with the thumb and pinky extended like he was mimicking a telephone receiver, a small antenna extending itself from the end of his thumb. "Strange, I'm not even getting a dial tone."

"You aren't connected to the local cellular network," Dawn told him, "I'll have to figure out a way to mimic the handshake protocols so you can connect."

The antenna retracted and Xander lowered his hand. "I should probably get up and call, I kinda ran out of the library in a panic when I felt your distress."

"You felt Dawn's distress?" Joyce asked as she retrieved the house phone off the wall and unwound the line from its base to reach them, when it became obvious that as long as Dawn was massaging his scalp he wasn't going anywhere. "How does that work?"

"No idea," Xander admitted, "I just knew 'Penny' here was in tears, so I booked it."

"Gadget was chosen because of his empathic nature," Dawn said, "maybe that translated into actual empathy here."

"Maybe," Xander said as he accepted the phone and dialed the library.

"Was Buffy alright?" Joyce asked as Xander waited for someone to pick up.

"She's the Slayer, there isn't much she can't handle," Xander said. "Hey Willow. Sorry I had to cut and run, but Dawn needed me. No, it turned out to be emotional distress, she's fine now. I'm at Buffy's place."

"Didn't Buffy turn into a medieval lady?" Dawn asked. "I can't see one of them lasting that long on the streets of Sunnydale," she noted with a frown, before leaning down and resting her chin atop his head and hugging him.

"Buffy still there?" Xander asked. "Oh, well I wish him luck, though not too much as I kinda like my upgrades. I may not be a Terminator but I'm pretty sure I have a bit more utility. Because Inspector Gadget was like a Swiss army cyborg. Before I forget, how did Buffy do tonight, as a noble woman I mean. Really? Doesn't sound like any noble woman I've ever heard of, but I'm glad to hear it. Let her know Joyce is in the know now when she gets back. I put my fist through the front door on accident and extended my arms about eight feet to catch Dawn when she fell down the stairs. It was going to come out eventually anyway, this is Sunnydale. I'll talk to you later, bye Willow."

Joyce accepted the phone back and returned it to its hook on the wall.

"Buffy beat the hell out of everyone she ran into with a cast iron skillet," Xander told the two. "I guess whatever changed her didn't fully negate her being a slayer, just her strength and memory of it."

"That's a relief," Dawn said, letting go of Xander and tugging him onto the couch so she could sit on his lap. "Buffy may not be my favorite person, but she is my favorite sister."

Xander smiled. "Hard to lose the race when you're running unopposed."

"Exactly," Dawn agreed, before yawning.

"It's getting late," Joyce said, "you should get some sleep, there will be plenty of time to talk in the morning."

"Yeah," Dawn agreed, getting up and grabbing Xander's hand. "Come on, you can use my bed, there is an outlet close enough for you to recharge from and I'm not letting you out of my sight until I can get a good look at all your systems so I know you're okay."

Xander looked to Joyce for her response to Dawn's commands, but she simply waved him on, knowing he wouldn't do anything she'd need to be concerned about.

"I'll wait up for Buffy," she told the two, "you two get some sleep."

"Thanks mom," Dawn said, being able to sleep in Xander's arms making her smile so brightly her cheeks hurt.

"Do you have an adapter that will fit me?" Xander asked as he followed the younger Summers girl up the stairs, making them creak under his weight.

"The world is odder than I know," Joyce said, shaking her head and going to make some coffee.

An hour later

Buffy quietly slipped in the front door, only to freeze as she found her mother sitting on the couch smoking a cigarette.

"Um, hi," Buffy said nervously.

"I'm glad to see you're okay," Joyce said as she looked her oldest daughter over and saw she was unharmed. "We can talk in the morning after breakfast." She got up, put out her cigarette and stretched.

"I'm… not going to have to talk to any doctors, am I?" Buffy asked cautiously.

"No, dear," Joyce assured her, giving her a hug. "Xander and Dawn provided more than enough proof that you're not crazy, the world is."

Buffy laughed and hugged her tightly. "Yeah, it really is at times."

"Now, off to bed dear," Joyce said letting her go.

"Okay, mom," Buffy said, feeling like a tremendous weight had been lifted off her shoulders. She practically bounced up the stairs on the way to her room, but passed by her door to peek in on her younger sister, just to make sure she was alright.

As quietly as possible, she opened the door to Dawn's room and stuck her head inside. She was struck dumb by what she saw.

Dawn was asleep on Xander's chest his head turned towards the open door as he eyed her, his right hand partially raised, a glint of metal visible from the tips of each finger for a brief second as the skin shifted in ways that human fingers are not known to do and… tiny beads of light were just visible beneath all of his visible skin, moving in repeating patterns and adding a strange beauty to the heartwarming scene.

Xander curled his fingers and held his pointer finger in front of his lips in the universal sign for quiet.

Buffy nodded slowly, gave him a small smile and mouthed 'night' to him before closing the door and retreating to her room. She wasn't sure how to feel about what she'd just seen. Willow had told her that Xander was pleased with his upgrades, but being human was what had defined Xander in her mind and trading away some of your humanity for power just seemed wrong to her, not that Xander had been given the choice.

She made a mental note to kick Ethan in the dick, if they ever managed to find him, while she changed into her pajamas and climbed into bed. Any heavy thinking could wait until she'd gotten her beauty sleep.

0o0o0o0o0o

Princess Buffy sang as she looked around the graveyard, her long golden locks lighting up like the sun, causing a river of molten gold to spring to life behind her.

Angel screamed and cowered away from her... his hands burning to ash as he fled.

A knight in full plate stood guard over her younger sister, his armor covered in flowing runes that resembled circuitry.

Dawn polished a tarnished section of armor over his heart, spitting on a rag and really scrubbing to remove the stain.

"That is disgusting," Buffy noted. "Seriously, get some 409 or something."

Dawn turned to her sister and Buffy had to shield herself from the emerald light pouring from her eyes. "Says you," she snarked back. "A little spit and polish is just what he needs."

When Buffy lowered her hands she was alone in the graveyard, the light from the river of gold quickly fading.

"People say bacon is the duct tape of food, but I say cheese makes a much better adhesive," a voice said from behind her.

Buffy whirled around but before she could see who had spoken she awoke with a start.

*BEEP*BEEP*BEEP*

"Bacon?" Buffy asked as she sat up and sniffed the air. "Breakfast!"

Buffy hurried downstairs and walked into the strangest… no, considering some of the conversations they'd had in the library it really wasn't that weird, just the weirdest one she'd heard in her home.

"Not a real rack, though there is a resemblance," Dawn admitted. "The straps are just to hold you in place and it's not like you can't tear them like tissue anyway."

"And the whip?" Xander asked, pointing to the edge of the drawing Dawn had spread out on the table between their plates.

"Just a doodle," Dawn assured him. "I was kinda thinking about the second Indiana Jones movie while I sketched this."

"That would explain the rolling boulder trap," Xander said, before taking a bite of his omelette.

"Did I put that in there?" Dawn asked before seeing what he was talking about. "Heh, so I did."

"I didn't know you could draw this well," Joyce said as she finished making Buffy a plate.

"Thank you," Buffy said, before quickly diving into her food. Weirdness could wait, she was starving!

"Penny had a lot of skills that are now mine," Dawn explained. "She started taking college courses at fourteen and had multiple diplomas by the time she was sixteen, though most of it was under assumed names for security reasons."

"I thought she was eight," Joyce said, only having caught glimpses of the cartoon while Dawn had watched it.

"She was ten at the start of the series and sixteen by the end," Xander explained. He took a sip of his coffee and smiled. "It is so good to be able to taste food that isn't drowned in peppers."

"I am going to have to run a full new baseline on you," Dawn said thoughtfully. "And I'm going to have to design the equipment to do it too."

Xander winced. "The sensation-emotive response test?"

"Yes, but since you aren't suffering from nearly as much sense reduction it should be a lot milder," she assured him.

"That's a relief," Xander said. "I didn't mind the hot, cold and soft, hard portions, but the ones designed to get an emotional response were brutal!"

"Can I buy a vowel?" Buffy asked, having no idea what they were talking about.

"They were worried about me becoming a cold unthinking machine," Xander explained, "or rather that Inspector Gadget would."

"Uncle Gadget suffered from Hypoesthesia," Dawn explained. "Basically it's like when the doctor doses you with Novocaine, but over your entire body including smell and taste."

"That's awful!" Buffy exclaimed looking at Xander in horror.

"Relax Buff, I don't have his problems," Xander assured her, "I've lost very little."

"It can lead to a sense of detachment to humanity where reality means as much to you as your average teenager playing a video game," Dawn explained trying to dumb it down as much as possible.

"Which is a disaster waiting to happen if the person suffering from it is driving a tank," Xander added.

"Tank?" Buffy asked. "I thought he was a police officer, not a soldier."

"Think… armor plated slayer Buff," Xander said, "you'd have to carpet bomb the block to take one out."

"Is that why he acted so goofy?" Buffy asked suddenly, making an intuitive leap that caused Xander and Dawn's jaws to drop.

"That… would explain a lot," Dawn said as she turned to look at Xander, a question in her eyes.

"I… He played it up a lot," Xander admitted. "He was a bit clumsy at times because of the lack of sensation and he noted how it made the people around him relax, so he just went with it. He was an honest goofball, just not to the degree he showed."

"Sounds familiar," Buffy said dryly as she looked directly at Xander.

"Being overlooked and dismissed can be useful," Xander admitted with a sigh. "I came by my geekhood honestly, much like him, but I do exaggerate it at times to get people to loosen up or overlook me. You can't tell me you don't do the same," he pointed out.

"Occasionally," Buffy admitted thoughtfully, "but really, anyone who buys my stupid act kinda deserves it and it's not like I use it on my friends."

"Often," Xander corrected her.

"What?"

"You don't do it often," Xander corrected her, "you've pulled it on all of us at times."

"When?" Buffy demanded.

"How about when you want to get out of translating Pre-Sumerian languages?" Xander asked with a smirk.

Buffy groaned. "I suck at Proto-Languages, you know that. If they weren't sure of their meanings when they wrote them, how do you expect me to figure it out?"

"Context-" Xander began.

"-is everything," Buffy finished. "We all have our weak points."

"How many times have you gotten me to carry stuff for you?" Xander asked.

"I can't show off my strength," Buffy said, quickly thinking of an excuse.

"Which you do all the time anyway," Xander teased.

"I try not to," Buffy said lamely.

"How about when you get Willow to help with your homework?" Xander asked.

"She is totally better at explaining things than any teacher in the school," Buffy said, "and have you noticed how she reacts to my dumb blonde routine? It's about the same way you-"

*ahem* Xander cleared his throat. "We don't talk about that."

"Without her here anyway," Buffy agreed.

"We have to go to these library meetings," Dawn told her mom.

"Yes, they sound better than my soap operas," Joyce agreed amused.

"Mom," Buffy groaned.

"And don't think I didn't notice you distracting us," Dawn told Xander, who froze realizing he'd been caught out. "The subject was you, not my lazy sister."

"I like being a goofball," Xander said. "When I am needed to do more, I do, but most of the time I don't."

"I can understand that," Dawn said thoughtfully. She turned to her older sister. "You know Pre-Sumerian languages?

"Know? More like vaguely acquainted with them," Buffy said. "I can pick them out of a line up and I might acknowledge them if we ran into each other, but I wouldn't say I know, know them."

"Slaying involves a lot of studying?" Joyce asked surprised.

"You have no idea," Buffy said with a heavy sigh, "if not for Xander and Willow I would have strangled Giles so many times."

"Instead of simply knocking him out?" Xander joked.

Buffy grinned.

Joyce opened her mouth to ask, then decided not to. They had plenty of time for the third degree after breakfast was done.

Typing by: fyrewolf5

TN: Another fun one that's good to see continued. And nice to see Buffy not immediately freak out screaming murder upon seeing Dawn curled up on top of Xander in her bedroom.