Dress For Success
John found himself standing in the middle of Central Park. "Did I just have a blackout or something?" he asked aloud, looking around and trying to figure out what was going on.
The park was filled with your average mid-morning crowd and none of them were looking at him strangely, so he guessed nothing strange had herald his arrival and since none of them were looking around in confusion, whatever had happened had just happened to him.
The fact that he could suddenly feel his own biology down to the last microbe when he wondered if he'd taken a blow to the head and gotten amnesia, hinted at something else going on.
He walked over to a tree and took a seat, leaning his back against it as he took stock of his situation. 'Stay calm, don't draw attention to yourself, you are suddenly in a strange place with no memory of how you got there and you've suddenly got superpowers.' He ignored the sudden knowledge of the tree he was leaning against.
A quick mental check showed he hadn't been gifted with a great deal of medical knowledge to go with it so while he could make changes to biological systems he had no real idea what those changes would do beyond the obvious, which was both good and bad. On the one hand, that meant he couldn't start making changes to his biology to make himself Kryptonian or anything like that, but that also meant that if he had been waylaid by a Random Omnipotent Being for a Choose Your Own Adventure game to entertain him, he hadn't taken enough disadvantages to pay for it, so he probably wasn't being hunted by every villain organization in the world.
John took a few deep breaths and forced himself to relax. He made some subtle changes to his lungs, cleaning up years of damage and dumping the built up tar and assorted crap into his colon. Oxygen flooded his system with each breath, raising his energy levels and improving his mood. He was thankful for once that he was heavyset, as it gave him plenty of fat stores to use to fuel the changes, minor though they were. He touched up his joints while he smoothed out skin, absorbing scar tissue and getting rid of any discoloration. Replacing his teeth with a new set would have to wait as spitting out his old ones would likely draw attention.
"-and then Spiderman swooped in and webbed him to the wall of the alley," one jogger said to another as they jogged past.
John's eyes snapped open. He was in the Marvel Universe, which was loads better than being in Worm and probably a bit better than DC, possibly. Of course, he could have just heard a couple of people talking about a movie, but considering the situation, he doubted it. Now the question was, what should he do?
He wasn't sure which version of Marvel he was in or when, but he also wasn't sure that mattered as Marvel got rebooted more often than a PC loaded with Windows 95, not to mention the timeline was in constant flux. If he showed up at Xavier's school for gifted youngsters, he'd be taken in, no questions asked, out loud at least, but then he'd have to get involved in all the crap they went through and that would suck. Come to think of it, that pretty much described the situation with all the big name groups and heroes that had their own comics. Did he want to get involved in all of that? Hell no! What he wanted was a nice quiet life that would bore whoever had dropped him here.
Really, just having a roof over his head and enough food to eat without having to spend all his time working was a perfect life for him, but how to go about setting up something like that was the question? Well, one problem at a time. He checked his pockets and found them empty, even the ones in his jacket. He guessed he should be glad he'd been given his glasses and his comfortable black jacket from his security job, as he didn't want to have to screw with his eyes without knowing what he was doing and upping his metabolism to keep warm would cost him some serious calories that he couldn't afford to spend until he had some money coming in to buy food.
'Where can a homeless person with powers go?' He thought to himself before the answer hit him. He was in New York, the Marvel Universe. With any luck the Morlocks were still running around and hadn't been wiped out.
John got up and walked out of the park, looking for the New York public library. Poking around back alleys was just an award winning Darwin move in this universe, so looking up where the closed down subway lines and old civilian Fallout shelters were was his best bet for finding them.
"Wish I had my cell phone," he muttered as he tried to puzzle out where to go.
Two Hours Later
John sighed as he left the library. It'd taken him far too long to find the library and then he found out that the place he was looking for was only half a block from the park.
Still, it was progress and he had gotten a chance to look over the papers for the last couple of months and confirmed he was in Marvel and so it was likely the Morlocks were still around.
"-the only good mutie is a dead mutie," a cabbie said to another as they waited for their fares.
"What if the mutie's powers was the ability to remove mutie powers?" John said without thinking about it, before cursing the fact that his mouth worked faster than his brain.
"What?" the large black cabbie asked, preparing to take offense.
"I'm saying the whole mutant thing is a huge crapshoot," John said, trying to calm him down. "Met a kid in Connecticut who worked as a florist, his power was the ability to change the color of flowers. Not everyone is going to be able to shoot fire out their ass, so what would your opinion be of a mutant who could remove powers from those who didn't want to be mutants? It's a recessive trait so you never know where it's going to show up."
"Seriously?" the other cabbie, a smaller Italian man, asked.
"Yeah, and even if both parents have the recessive X-gene, the kid may not trigger. Usually it takes some heavy shit going down to set it off."
"Huh," the first cabbie said, considering the matter. "You don't never hear about those, just the assholes who tear up the place. Guess he wouldn't be too bad, neither is the guy who can change flowers, but the ones blowing up people's shit have got to go!"
John was surprised the guy had listened and nodded. "Yeah, you never hear about the people who aren't starting shit because they aren't starting shit. The world is a big place."
"Ain't that the truth," the large man nodded. "I'm just pissed because some freak- err asshole caused an explosion and it fucked up my knee and back."
"Let me see your hand," John said, offering his hand.
He cautiously extended his hand and John took it, the knowledge of the man's biology appearing in his brain.
"How's the knee?" John asked as he soothed inflamed tissue and rebuilt cartilage in the man's right knee, mirroring his left.
The man cautiously rested a little more weight on it and began to smile in relief. "The pain's gone," he almost whispered.
"Now, let's look at the back," John said, realigning vertebrae and repairing ruptured discs, using his own for a base.
"Fuck me," the man said, eyes wide, "it's healed!"
"Doc been complaining about your blood pressure?" John asked, cleaning the guy's veins and arteries, duping the fat in his colon.
"Hypertension, runs in the family," the man said.
"They're clean now, but your next shit is going to have a lot of fat in it," John said, releasing his hand.
"Why?" the man asked, confused.
"I dumped the cholesterol that was clogging your arteries in it, fastest way to fix the problem," John explained.
"No, I mean why help me?" he said. "I was just raggin' on mutants."
John shrugged. "Because your problem isn't really mutants, it's when assholes have power and not everyone is an asshole."
"Could you really fix a mutant?" the other cabbie asked quietly, having stayed quiet the entire time.
"Unless he's turned into metal or something that isn't organic," John said, "but they have to want it, I'm not going to change people against their will."
"I got a nephew," the man said cautiously. "What would it cost me?"
John shrugged. "How about I fix him first and then you pay whatever you feel comfortable with? I won't turn down money cause I'm broke, but I ain't doing this to make a buck."
"Seriously?" he asked, hopefully.
"Seriously," John assured him. "I'd do it for free. I'm not an asshole with powers, I'm just a normal guy. If you were given powers like this, I'm sure you'd do the same."
"I hope I would," the man said. "How do we do this?"
"Take me to him," John said, "I'll do it right now."
"Lance, I'll catch you later," the smaller man said.
"No problem Bob, sorry about the mutant shit I was spinning, I didn't know," Lance apologized.
"I know you were just blowing off steam man, don't sweat it," he assured him and hustled John into the back of his cab before quickly driving off.
"So, what's his power?" John asked. "Some are easier to remove and he's going to want to eat a big meal afterwards to replace the calories he's burning off with the change."
"He glows," Bob said. "He has to hide out in the house unless it's a bright sunny day and even then he has to stay outdoors to avoid being outed, you know? We've had to homeschool him for his own safety."
"That should be easy to fix," John said, relieved. "If he was growing feathers or something, it'd be harder."
"Thanks man, I can't tell you how much this means to me," Bob said. "He was supposed to be starting high school last month before this all happened and he's getting really withdrawn, now all he does is play video games and argue on the internet."
John laughed. "I can fix the glowing, you're on your own for the video games and arguing on the net."
Bob laughed and pulled in front of a brownstone on the edge of Hell's Kitchen. "I'm hoping that will solve itself as he gets out and meets girls."
"That usually does it," John lied, hopping out of the cab and following John up into the large building.
They climbed the stairs to the third floor as the elevator was out of order.
Bob opened the door and ushered him inside while calling out, "Shelia, we got a visitor!"
A chubby Italian woman poked her head out of the kitchen. "Bob? What are you doing here? Your shift isn't over for another four hours and Nathan is still feeling under the weather, we don't want anyone catching the flu."
"Sis, this is…" Bob smacked himself in the head. "I never even asked your name."
"It's John," John said, amused. "I'm here to help Nathan," he told Shelia.
"What?" she asked, confused and a little afraid.
"He can remove powers," Bob told his sister. "Remember how Lance was caught in that explosion recently? He fixed him in about a minute."
"You can help my baby?" she asked hopefully.
"That's why I'm here," John assured her. "I'll hold his hand and remove his power if he wants me to."
"How much will it cost?" she asked nervously. "We aren't a rich family."
"I don't charge and it's not a big deal," John assured her. "Anyone who ended up with powers like mine would do the same."
"This way," Bob said with a grin and a bounce in his step. "Hey Nathan, you got company!" he called out as they walked down the hall. He turned back to John. "It's always best not to bust into a teenage boy's room unannounced when he has an internet connection," he warned.
"Understandable," John said, amused.
Bob knocked on a bedroom door. "We're coming in," he called out, before opening the door and revealing a typical teen boy's room with pictures of athletes on the walls, comics scattered about, and a depressed looking teen, face covered in acne, his skin glowing a light blue, sitting in front of a computer playing a first person shooter.
"Uncle Bob?" Nathan asked nervously as his eyes darted over to John.
"Relax, Nate," Bob said, "John is here to fix the whole glowing problem."
Nathan looked even more nervous. "Fix as in…"
"I can turn off the genes that make you glow," John assured him. "I'm assuming you want to be normal, right? I won't do it if you don't want me to."
"Yes, I want you to!" Nathan exclaimed before calming down. "Sorry, but I've heard some stories of kids who… vanished, when their folks find out what they were."
"Relax, buddy," Bob said, placing a hand on his shoulder and giving it a squeeze. "You're family, family don't hurt family."
John offered a hand and Nathan took it.
"You aren't a mutant," John said as the glow snapped off and he released his hand. "Were you playing down near the sewers or something before all this happened?"
"Yeah," Nathan agreed as he looked at his non-glowing skin in wonder.
"You got a phosphorous fungal infection," John said. "You probably scraped your skin and it got under it and spread. Now, let's fix that acne." John placed a finger on his forehead and his skin cleaned up. "I also got rid of your athlete's foot problem."
Nathan jumped up and rushed to the bathroom to find a mirror.
"Kid doesn't wash or change his clothes enough," John told a grinning Bob, "but that's teenage boys for you."
"I'm cured!" Nathan yelled from the bathroom.
"Mama is going to be so relieved," Shelia said, "she's probably down at the church praying for him right now." She'd entered while they were distracted.
"I don't know how we can repay you," Bob said. "We were going nuts here."
"I need a ride down to about a block from Central Park," John replied, "if you don't mind."
"Storm drain entrance near the old Chinese food place?" Bob asked with a grin.
John was caught flat footed. "How did you know?"
"I did a lot of asking around and searching for ways to help Nate," Bob replied. "Met a guy named Erg."
"Spiky hair and eye patch?" John asked hopefully.
"That's the one," Bob agreed. "He said if Nathan couldn't make it up here, they'd have a place for him below."
"Looks like we were the answer to each others' problems," John said, "I was looking to meet up with them, but wasn't sure that was the right place."
"The Lord makes things happen," Shelia said with watery eyes. "Come eat, I have lunch ready."
After A Large Lunch and a Cab Ride
"Hey man, I can't thank you enough for what you did for my family," Bob said. "I know it turned out to be a lot less serious than we all thought it would be, but you were willing to help if it wasn't. You ever need something, come find me, okay?"
"I'll remember," John promised, knowing that turning down a favor for helping his family would be an insult, "but helping me find my people was a pretty good favor too, so thanks."
"Anytime," Bob said as John got out of the cab. "Just wait behind the restaurant, someone will show up."
John nodded and entered the alley, finding a place to sit on an old milk crate to wait for one of the Morlocks to show up.
A cat poked its head from between a couple of trash bags and examined him closely before cautiously approaching. John held out his hand for it to sniff and after a few seconds it decided he smelled okay because it moved closer so he could pet it. He stroked the cat who hopped up onto his lap and made itself at home. The cat's biology was just as complex as a human's and he spotted some old injuries as he read its DNA.
"Today has been a weird day," he explained to the black and white tomcat. "I wake up in the park with powers, but no idea how I got there. Still, the people are friendly and I got a good meal out of it. Speaking of which, it looks like you could use one as well." He took a bag out of his jacket and pulled out a chicken leg. "Here you go."
The cat pounced on the chicken, purring loudly.
"You just love me for my chicken," John accused with a grin as he took the opportunity to regrow his teeth, pulling out the old ones one by one as he regrew new ones in their place, ones without fillings.
"Who are you and what are you doing?"
John looked up and saw a man with spiked gray hair in a Mohawk and a patch covering one eye. He dropped a molar on the small pile of teeth. "I'm John, I'm growing new teeth. It's cheaper than going to a dentist, but a lot more energy intensive than following a good oral hygiene regiment. And you are?"
"Erg," the man replied, "but from your lack of surprise, I'm guessing you knew that already. Mutant?"
"Biokinetic," John replied. "I'm a bit homeless and jobless, so I was looking for people like myself in a similar situation."
"Well, you found them," Erg said. "Can you do anything besides teeth? Though if you can do that for others, you'll be real popular below. We have a healer, but that really doesn't help with teeth since they don't regrow on their own."
"Sure," John said, getting to his feet, "I can fix just about any medical problem as long as it's organic."
"Then you'll definitely be popular," Erg said.
"Come on, I'll take you to our leader so she can vet you."
"Thanks, I appreciate it," John said as Erg opened the backdoor to the boarded-up restaurant.
"Hope you can see in the dark, I forgot my flashlight."
John's skin began to glow blue. "I think I'll manage."
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
TN: Kinda wondering how you would handle a Blacklight Runner now. They're biokinetics too, but with a few limitations that I'm curious how you would get around.
TN2: Humility is nice, but I disagree with the idea that any regular Jane or Joe would automatically be selfless with their powers. It's nice to think, but I'm more inclined to believe we can't know what a person would actually do with power until it's actually given to them. I imagine some would be inclined to be selfless, while some would be a-holes, and some would be selfish. After all, it's what we're already like with our abilities, considering we're already sitting at the top of our food chain. So those who are selfless, humility or not, are a bit more special than they think. That's what I believe anyway.
AN: I doubt my SI will manage to get that boring life he is looking for, but then I am stubborn.
