Chapter 3 Account of Pretty Girls Flirting with you in Hyrule Market
Link finally went to Hyrule Market to find McDonHyrulealds. When he entered, he saw a mass of people running around, making deals, and selling stuff. He was quite happy when he saw no Kokiri girls.
"Dang, that's a relief," Link said.
"What is?" Navi said, popping out of Link's hat.
"There are no Kokiri girls here."
"So?"
"Haven't you noticed that Kokiri women seem to go crazy at the very sight of me?"
"Yeah, you'd think they'd be smarter than that."
"Shut up!"
"Oh sure, blame me!"
"But seriously," Link said, "I don't get what it is with Kokiri women and all. I mean..."
"Hey handsome," a girl said while walking by.
"I take it it isn't just Kokiri women who fall at your feet," Navi said.
"Oh crap," Link groaned. "How is it that I have this like... instant effect on girls? Why do they always fall at my feet?"
"Chloroform?" Navi suggested.
"No!" Link shouted, causing Navi to laugh. Link then turned, and looked over at a girl in the crowd. "Say, look at that girl!"
"What girl?" Navi turned, and saw a pretty red haired girl who was about Link's age. "Uh Link, we didn't come here to pick up women. If we needed to do that, we could have stayed with Saria in the Kokiri forest."
"Don't even say that!" Link said, shivering at the thought. "Navi, I wasn't saying we should pick up women, its just she must know where McDonHyrulealds is, so lets go ask her."
"Yeah sure, we are after all, on a quest."
"Quest? What quest?"
"Uh, when I told the Great Dekunamenut Tree where we were going he requested that we pick him up a large coffee."
"With cream and sugar?"
"Oh yeah."
"Fascinating. Lets go ask that girl where McDonHyrulealds is."
"Okay," Navi said, hoping that Link would get talked again.
"Excuse me," Link said to the girl, "could you give me directions too..."
The girl turned, and her face went from bored, to incredibly happy, and elated.
"Why hello there..."
"His name's Link," Navi said, popping out of Link's hat, "and spend all the time you want flirting with him, cause boy's like him are hard to find."
"Navi be quiet!" Link shouted, swatting the fairy away.
"A fairy! That's awesome!" the girl said. "You must be one of those fairy folk from the forest."
"They're called Kokiri," Navi said, "and if you knew any of them, you wouldn't call them something as gentle sounding as fairy folk. Fairy Hooligans maybe, but..."
"Alright Navi, stop!" Link said, his face very red.
"My name's Malon fairy boy. You look sooo cute in that green Christmas suit!"
"Um, please don't attack me..."
"I'm not going to attack you," Malon said surprised, "but could I cuddle you?"
"It was nice meeting you," Link said, and abruptly stood up and ran away.
"Wait for me cutie," Malon said, running after Link.
Link ran all the way to the gates of Hyrule Castle. That is, he ran until the insane guards stopped him.
"Stop!" they said. "In the name of my mother's brother!"
Then he turned around, and walked back the other way.
"So they won't let me go to McDonHyrulealds," Link said. "Dang! And I really wanted a Big Mac-ayhosacawatchy."
"Oh well," Navi said. "You could go buy a smoothie, and share it with that little Malon girl."
"Navi!"
"Now hold your horses lover boy."
"I don't like Malon at all! She's just... prettier and nicer than most other girls I've met before."
"Aha! So where do you want to go on your honeymoon?"
"Shut up!"
"What are you guy's talking about?"
Link stopped, immediately when he heard Malon's voice.
"Uh, I was just... uh, trying to go to McDonHyrulealds, but the gates to the castle are shut."
"Why don't you try climbing up this vine? It should be easy for a handsome man like you. And please wake my dad up for me, I think he fell asleep."
"Don't worry, I-" Link began.
"-must now say farewell to you fair lady. I must tear myself from your side," Navi finished.
"Navi!"
"Oh, you were going to say that Fairy Boy? You're so sweat!"
"Oh crap," Link whispered. "Next thing you know she's going to start asking me for a kiss."
"Could you give me a kiss before you go?"
"You see?" Link said to Navi. "I was right!"
"No, I heard what you said," Malon said with a smile. "It's easy to read handsome men."
"Next she's going to ask if she can have a lock of hair," Link whispered.
"Fairy boy, could I have a-"
"No! And stop listening in on my conversation!" Link shouted.
Malon just giggled.
"You're cute, and easy to tease," Malon said.
"I think she has a major crush on me," Link whispered to Navi.
"You don't say," Navi whispered back.
"Link I have a major crush on you," Malon said with a mischievous smile.
"We'll discuss the rest later," Link said so softly that he was sure Malon didn't hear him this time.
"No please, can I talk with you too?"
"Aauugghh!" Link shrieked before running straight down the path before colliding into a tree and collapsing.
Both Navi and Malon erupted into laughter.
