Chapter 8 SCRAED
"Hey," Link said upon awakening. "Lets take this guitar to the Temple of Time and wing out some snazzy beats."
"Says Mr. Tone Deaf," Navi said.
"I am not tone deaf!"
"Fine," Navi said. "Just irresistible to girls I see."
"Girls are icky," Link said.
"Okay, NOW you are being immature," Navi said.
"I am not immature!"
Anyways, eventually they somehow made it to the Temple of Time, and Link started "rocking out." Basically, he broke three strings and reduced his pick to a shredded piece of plastic.
"Oops!" Link said.
"You got that right," Navi said, zapping the electric guitar with a beam of blue magic which mended the strings and fixed his pick. "Now play the song of time!"
"Okay! Song of Time! Song of Time!" Link played a bunch of weird chords.
"You can't play worth beans," Navi said.
"Silence," Link said. "I'm trying to rock out!"
Eventually after much butchering of chords and much straining of strings link managed to play a simple melody. Then through some otherworldly power (or maybe just because Link's music was so bad) the wall in front of him fell apart. There was a sword in a pedestal ahead of him.
Link walked up to the pedestal, put his hands on the top of the sword, and pulled. And then, the sword was suddenly released from the pedestal. He pulled it out. Blatant Sword in the Stone rip of here. Is nothing sacred?
"Shut up," Navi said.
No, you shut up.
"I got the sword!" Link said happily. "Now..."
Then he got hit on the head with a falling anvil and fell unconscious.
"You idiot!" Ganondorf said, walking in. "You've lead me to the word Sacred (see above where Hammermaster said "Is nothing sacred?") in the book! Now I know how to spell it! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha! Hahahaha!"
After Ganondorf wastes paper, he accidentally kicks a button which says: "Warp thingy of doom."
Suddenly Link gets grabbed by a giant hand that makes him fall asleep for a hundred or so years... Okay! Just seven years.
"No!" Ganon shouts in anger, and in his rage he accidentally pushes another button which says: "the break Sacred apart and scatter it everywhere button."
"Noooooo!" Suddenly Sacred gets broken apart.
SCE
D
RA
And there you go. So now that the SCRAED was split apart it got chucked everywhere.
"Oh darnit!" Ganondorf then accidentally hi the "make me rule the world" button. "Cool!"
Then he turned to walk out the door and accidentally bonked his head on the "shave my head button."
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Ganon screamed and ran out of the temple, where a magic razor shaved his head.
