Nursery Rhymes for Sith

Jedi Goat

Disclaimer - I don't own Star Wars. Do you think I'd be writing fanfiction if I did?

19/12/09 - Minor edit. Reading this makes me so nostalgic... :)


Late one evening on the bright, ever-bustling planet of Coruscant, a Sith Lord faced an impossible task: getting his three-year-old apprentice to sleep.

"NOOO! Don't wanna," wailed Darth Maul, clutching his toy double-bladed red lightsaber to his chest.

Darth Sidious sighed. "Come, Darth Maul, it is time for bed."

"NO!" his young apprentice announced defiantly, waving the plastic lightsaber. Darth Sidious easily sidestepped the low slash.

What does it take to get him to go to sleep? the Sith Lord thought desperately. For all of his evil intelligence, Darth Sidious couldn't find a way out of this problem.

He glanced around Darth Maul's room for inspiration. Darth Sidious caught sight of Darth Maul's Wookiee Warriors action figures.

"Even the Wookiees are going to sleep," Darth Sidious said, picking up one of the action figures and setting it down so it looked like it was sleeping.

"NO! FIGHT!" cried Darth Maul, holding out a hand. He used the Force to slide the Wookiee action figure into another.

The Sith Lord sighed, and looked up at the chrono on the wall. He froze. Darth Sidious had a Senate meeting in an hour, and he had to get ready!

Suddenly, Darth Sidious remembered a bit of important Sith wisdom passed down through the ages in the form of a rhyme.

"Let me tell you a story," Darth Sidious said.

"Okay!" Darth Maul clapped his hands excitedly and jumped up onto his bed.

"Sit," the Sith Lord ordered. Darth Maul sat down.

Darth Sidious held out his hand, palm up. His apprentice imitated him.

"This little Sith went to Naboo to kill the Jedi," Darth Sidious started, indicating his thumb.

"Kill Jedi!" Darth Maul repeated gleefully. Darth Sidious smirked. Good, he has learned to hate the Jedi.

The Sith Lord pointed to his index finger. "This little Sith stayed home and plotted revenge."

"Revenge?" The young Sith smiled slowly. A Sith always has revenge was lesson two.

"This little Jedi turned to the Dark Side and killed the other Jedi."

"Kill Jedi! Kill Jedi!" Darth Maul chanted happily. He still needs to work on manipulating his enemies. However, he is enthusiastic...

"This little Sith had no apprentice because he was too nice."

Darth Maul smiled up at his Master. "You no nice." It was important to remember that a Sith is always evil.

"And this little Sith went wee, wee, wee, all the way down the pit." This was the most important and most often forgotten lesson: never fight next to a deep pit, or you might fall in.

Darth Sidious waited for a comment from Darth Maul, but there was none. He glanced over at his apprentice and saw that he was fast asleep. Darth Sidious smiled with relief and carefully tucked Darth Maul under the covers, so as not to awaken the finally sleeping apprentice.

Then, Darth Sidious silently exited the room. Now, to the Senate...

Unfortunately, the Sith Lord never even considered the possibility that Darth Maul had not heard the last line.

The End


Author's Note - My first story is posted! Yay! Ironically, it's about Darth Maul...and I don't even like him. :P