Bah Humbug!
Harry walked through the castle, enjoying the quiet. Hogwarts was closed for Christmas break and only a handful of students and the staff were still present, so he'd decided to go exploring. Since school wasn't in session there was no curfew, making it the perfect time to hunt for secret passages and rooms that could only be found at night or during certain times of the year.
This being Christmas Eve he was sure he'd find something interesting.
He'd just climbed up to the third floor when he heard Filch coming his way. He turned back to the stairs, but they'd already started moving to connect to the fourth floor and he didn't feel like risking his life to escape being berated by the old caretaker. Technically he was doing nothing wrong, but that wouldn't stop the crotchety old man from yelling, so Harry quickly scanned the area, searching for a way out.
'There!' Harry thought to himself as he saw that the alcove behind one of the sets of armor looked to be deeper than it should be.
Harry quickly squeezed in beside the armor, his slender frame allowing him to get past without disturbing it, where he found that there actually was a passage behind the armor… at least there was during Christmas Eve late at night.
He made a mental note to check and see if it existed on other nights as well while he carefully shuffled forward with a hand on the wall, not wanting to use his wand until he could be sure the light from it wouldn't give him away.
After another dozen feet in his hand found a gap in the stone and he pulled out his wand to see what it was.
"Lumos," Harry incanted and stared at where his left hand should be only to find his wrist ending at the stone wall. He cautiously pulled back and his hand reappeared. "Illusion," he realized and carefully felt around, finding the hidden opening was about the size of a quaffle.
Harry cautiously stuck his hand in the opening and felt around, discovering a bottle covered in dust. Blowing off the dust he was less than surprised to find it was a very old bottle of Firewhiskey. "The amount of alcohol hidden around the school never ceases to surprise me," Harry said with a snicker, sticking the bottle in his pants pocket, grateful for the expansion charms Fred and George had talked him into paying them to cast.
Harry continued on, keeping his left hand on the wall as he walked, just in case there were more disguised caches of alcohol in the tunnel.
The tunnel curved to the right and he found himself at a dead end. He examined the dead end, running his free hand over the stone and finding it was as solid as it appeared and none of the blocks were convenient triggers to open a hidden passageway.
He was just about to give up and head back, checking the other side of the tunnel for hidden surprises, when he noticed a small carving of a snake.
"Naturally I'd stumble on one of Salazar's hidden passages eventually," Harry said before leaning forward and concentrating on the snake. "Open," he hissed out in parseltongue, causing the stones to rearrange themselves into an archway leading into the drawing room of… Severus Snape.
"Potter?" Snape asked in disbelief.
Harry stepped forward into the Slytherin Head of House's personal chambers, thinking frantically for a way to get out of this mess without getting chopped up for potions ingredients or worse, (as Hermione would have told him had she been there) expelled. 'I need a Christmas miracle,' Harry thought despairingly.
In a jingle of bells and a flash of light two figures appeared. One figure was seven feet tall and cloaked like a dementor while the other was a young boy who looked strangely familiar.
"Why have you brought me here?!" the young boy demanded, but the cloaked figure only raised an arm and pointed a pale hand at Snape.
"What? This is to be my future?!" the young boy demanded. "A miserable old man with substandard hygiene alone on Christmas Day?! No, this cannot be! Take me back spirit. Take me back! I'll change, I swear!"
In a flash of light the two figures vanished, leaving Professor Snape and his least liked student alone together once more.
"Was that…" Harry's voice trailed off.
"Yes," Snape said dryly, "Severus Snape and The Ghost of Christmas yet to come."
Harry just stood there for a moment before asking, "Does this mean everything is going to change now?"
Snape sighed in exasperation. "Do you know nothing about temporal manipulation?"
Harry opened his mouth, paused, and then said, "Don't interact with your former self and a lesbian orgy composed of one witch will cause a paradox unless they are properly blindfolded?"
Snape stared at him in disbelief. "Swear not to explain how you discovered that and I'll allow you to leave unharmed and we can pretend this never happened."
"Yes, sir," Harry quickly agreed. He turned to leave, paused, and pulled the century's old bottle of Firewhiskey out of his pocket, offering it to the dour professor. "Bah humbug," Harry said firmly as Snape accepted the bottle looking, if not cheerful, at least a smidgen less gloomy.
"And to you as well," Snape said with a nod before Harry stepped back through the arch and into the hidden passageway.
Just before the stones finished reassembling into a wall Harry heard Snape mutter, "Every bloody year."
Harry decided he most certainly did not hear that and in fact had been in bed the entire night regardless of what his memory might say. "Just a bit of undigested potato," he said as he hurried back to his dorm.
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
AN: Merry Christmas everyone!
