Legal Crimes 4
Previous chapters: And Now Yet Again Still Even More Fragments chapters 15, 23, and 24
"See if Miss Martian has some spare clothes," John suggested as the naked heroine examined herself in the mirror.
"Why Miss Martian?" Black Canary asked, giving him a confused look.
"Because until she learns to control her strength, she's going to shred any clothes she tries to put on," he explained, "and Martian clothes are all manipulated mentally, so there'll be a lot less clothing malfunctions."
"How do you know all this?" Black Canary asked with a frown, wondering how a civilian had gained access to confidential Justice League data.
"Because it's all really obvious to me," John said with a shrug, technically telling the truth without mentioning the source of his knowledge.
"Don't you have to be a telepath to control Martian clothes?" Artemis asked.
"All humans are telepathic," he replied, "we're just completely untrained and rather weak for the most part."
"I've never heard that," Artemis said with a frown as she ran through everything she knew about telepathy.
"Considering you were raised by assassins who no doubt had extensive training in a wide variety of esoteric disciplines, they should have mentioned there were defenses against telepaths, right?"
"Yeah," Artemis replied, "something about guiding a telepath's thoughts to where you want them to go."
"You can use your own mental energies to alter telepathic probes… because they are the same energies," he explained, "the only real difference being the strength of them. All sentient life is telepathic by definition."
"What about machines?" Artemis asked, thinking about Megan's destruction of Mr. Twister.
"Technopathy exists and the most advanced machine minds have sometimes demonstrated low level telepathic fields, if not out and out psionic abilities," John said with a shrug. "It's easier to connect to similar minds and wavelengths, like calls to like of course."
"Do you have evidence of this or is it simply your opinion?" Wonder Woman asked curiously.
"It's all theoretical," John admitted, "I'd need to talk to a Green Lantern to get proof. The Guardians of Oa would know better than I do and have probably studied the subject, and while that's probably true of every subject you care to name, this would connect to how they use their rings and manifest Will, so they'd be the authorities on the subject."
"How do you know so much?" Black Canary asked almost demanding an answer.
"Why do you know so little?" John countered.
She sighed. "Okay, I probably deserve that," she admitted. "What I mean is, you know things that I believed only the Justice League was aware of."
"I'm a writer, so I research a lot of… different things," John replied. "I'm not sharing any of my sources, but rest assured the knowledge is available to anyone who does the proper research and makes the right connections."
"I don't see how anything you've written connects to this particular knowledge base," Wonder Woman said thoughtfully, "though I will admit I have not read many of your books. Was the scene with the children having sex in the sewer really necessary?"
John sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I needed a scene that was both shocking and demonstrated the fact that they were children trying to ape adults while not truly understanding them. Sex is one of the things we use as a dividing line between childhood and adulthood, so yes the scene had to be written that way."
"Back to the first question," Black Canary requested politely.
"Being a writer, I am passionately curious about a lot of things and not everything is going to make it into my books. In fact very little is going to make it into my books because it's either unnecessary or I think letting the general public know is dangerous," John explained.
"Looking at it that way… the sewer scene fits perfectly," Wonder Woman decided.
"Firestarter was about a government experiment giving people powers," Artemis pointed out, "I can easily see you discovering super formulas while researching that or at least looking for them. Did you discover anything interesting while writing The Shining or Pet Cemetery?"
"You have read a few of my books," John said, pleased he had fans of his purloined stories. "Let me just say, since some things should not be said aloud to avoid drawing malign attention, the ground under Gotham is sour. If anyone you love lives there… move them, even if it has to be against their will."
"Is it something the League should be aware of?" Wonder Woman asked, her heritage and upbringing giving her some idea of what he was avoiding talking about.
"A lot of people think you based Pennywise on the Joker," Artemis interjected before he could answer.
"Pennywise can't be killed," John told her, "at least not permanently. There's really nothing to be done about Gotham except move and try to convince people to leave."
"Good luck with that," Artemis said, "the average Gothamite takes a perverse source of pride in how bad things are there."
"Yeah, it's a perverse type of honeypot that lures people in and devours them," John said, shaking his head.
Artemis' stomach growled loudly.
"Let's get you into a hospital gown, I'll help you put it on," Black Canary said, "actual clothes can wait until you've eaten."
"Yeah, you're going to eat like Kid Flash and then sleep for about half a day," John reminded her.
"How do you know about his eating habits?" Black Canary asked.
"I've been around him for longer than five minutes," John replied.
"I don't suppose you know why he eats that much?" she asked while she dressed Artemis.
"Impurities in the chemicals used to give him super speed made it so he has an imperfect connection to the Speed Force; his body is compensating by eating a lot," John replied.
"And how would you know that?" Black Canary asked, wondering if he'd missed his calling by becoming a writer instead of a detective.
"The Flash has a perfectly formed connection to the Speed Force and Kid Flash said he thought only his family had the formula for making speedsters. Considering his age and partial connection it's obvious he tried to empower himself using what chemicals he could create himself," John explained.
"You should have become a detective," Artemis said as they left the lab, only to find the rest of their team waiting in the hall.
"Whoa, you got… tall," Kid Flash blurted out, changing what he was going to say at the last second.
Miss Martian subtly increased her breast size to match Artemis' growth spurt.
"Do you have super strength?" Superboy asked intently.
John took a wad of cash out of his pocket and tossed it to Kid Flash. "We need a ton of fast food as quickly as possible. The metabolic changes she's going through means she'll be even hungrier than you are."
Kid Flash vanished in a yellow blur of speed, not stopping to ask questions for once as he knew what it was like to have your body try to eat itself to keep up with its demands.
The group continued on to the kitchen.
"I bent the table just by squeezing it and accidentally shredded my clothes like they were tissue paper," Artemis said. "I've definitely got super strength and I'm super hungry right now."
"And you need a set of Martian clothes?" Miss Martian asked, reading the information in her mind.
"If you don't mind," Artemis said as they reached the kitchen and she immediately headed for the fridge.
"Let me get it," John said, quickly moving in front of the new super before she could destroy the refrigerator. "What do you want?"
"Everything," was her instant reply.
Opening the fridge he retrieved a bowl of fruit and a gallon of milk while waving for her to sit at the table.
Artemis accidentally flicked the chair across the room into the wall, destroying it. "Fuck!"
"It's just a chair and not even an expensive one," John assured her as Robin pulled out a chair for her to avoid a repeat.
"How long did it take you to get control?" she asked as she gingerly sat down.
"A couple of days," he replied as he poured her a large glass of milk and stuck a straw in it. "Of course I had the advantage of having spent time adapting to Superspeed, so it was probably a little quicker than normal."
"Any advice?" she asked, leaning down to sip her milk.
"Think of the world around you as being made of cardboard. Be aware of everything around you and move as slowly as possible until your subconscious adapts to the changes," he suggested.
"I can do that," Artemis agreed before slowly reaching for an apple.
"Don't rely on physical feedback," John warned her.
"What?" Artemis asked before pulping the apple with a squeeze of her hand.
John wiped bits of apple off his face as everyone else did the same. "You're used to feeling the resistance of an item when you grab it," he explained, "but with your new strength that resistance is gone, so you'll destroy things pretty easily."
"I hope my subconscious is a fast learner," Artemis said.
Kid Flash appeared and set a stack of a dozen pizzas on the table before vanishing once more.
"Hold your hand out flat and I'll put a slice of pizza in it. As long as you don't try to put any pressure on it, it'll be fine," John assured her.
"What strength range do you think she'll have?" Robin asked John as he helped Artemis inhale an entire pizza.
"Comparable to a Kryptonian," John replied, "I used the Danner formula."
"Hugo Danner?" Wonder Woman asked. "I thought it had to be administered while still in the womb."
"That's what they say," John agreed, "but I figured out how to make it work."
"I don't suppose you know of any formulas that provide minor improvements without making you superhuman?" Robin joked.
"You mean like an increase in speed, strength, and flexibility to the maximum a human is capable of while also providing an immunity to things like Joker gas and fear toxin?" John replied with a grin.
"Seriously?" Robin asked, jaw dropping.
"A serum exists, but I don't know the formula," John admitted, "and the person who can create it is a villain, meaning you can probably buy a dose from her if you don't let her know who you are and pay enough."
Robin tapped his chin and tried to figure out who he was hinting at.
"We normally arrest villains, not pay them," Black Canary said dryly.
Kid Flash appeared again, setting a dozen bags of burgers on the table. "Sorry it took so long, there was a line at all the local places so I had to find an empty diner and order it to go."
"I can't think of a villain who specialized in enhancement formulas," Robin admitted.
"Poison Ivy," John said. "It's actually unrelated to how she got her powers, which is yet another formula."
"A nice idea while it lasted," Robin said, shaking his head. "I wouldn't get near her with a ten foot pole."
"Haven't you fought her?" Kid Flash asked.
"I use a six foot staff," Robin replied with a smirk.
"I'd still rather be bulletproof," Artemis said.
"How bullet proof is she?" Robin asked. "Cadmus had a couple of weapon designs for guns that could theoretically punch a hole in Superman."
"If they can punch a hole in a Kryptonian, they can punch a hole in us," John said, "but unlike a Kryptonian, we'll heal the damage in a matter of minutes."
"Know any formulas that can heal people?" Robin asked.
"Easiest and most effective would be to use some of The Creeper's blood," John replied, "and stop typing all this into your pip boy."
"Pipboy?" Kid Flash asked.
"That wrist computer he has, it reminds me of a video game," John replied. "Anyway, since your systems are compromised its best not to put any of this on computer."
"Who's The Creeper?" Superboy asked, seeing that the others already knew who he was talking about.
"Cross The Question with The Joker and give their kid regeneration," Robin said, "that's The Creeper. He's a hero, but not entirely sane, though that may be an act."
"Unless you want to go the magic route, his blood is one of the strongest healing reagents I know of," John said, unwrapping a burger to feed to Artemis who had not stopped eating while they talked.
"Dude, magic isn't real," Kid Flash said.
"You're a hero, you aren't allowed to be that stupid," John told him.
"Hey!" Kid Flash exclaimed.
"I use a magic lasso created by the gods," Wonder Woman said, amused, "magic exists."
"My tattoos are a product of Atlantean sorcery," Aqualad reminded him. "I know you have a… unique sense of humor, but this joke has gone on a bit long."
"Sense of humor?" Kid Flash asked, confused. "No, I'm serious, magic does not exist, it's all smoke and mirrors or advanced technology."
"If you're training these kids… young adults," John corrected himself, "then you really should have educated him on what magic is and the dangers involved."
Black Canary nodded. "I wasn't aware Flash hadn't had 'The Talk' with him."
Robin turned to Kid Flash. "Bro, magic is real, there's just a thousand fakes for every real occurrence."
"But-but," the yellow-clad speedster stuttered out, trying to come up with an argument.
"Magic covers a whole host of things," John explained, while still feeding Artemis who was beginning to slow down, "many of which can actually be scientifically proven."
"You can explain magic with science?" he asked hopefully.
"Green Lantern rings tap into the emotional spectrum of the universe, Poison Ivy taps into the Green. Both of those things fall under magic, just as do gods and demons, all of which can be measured, predicted, and manipulated. Of course the science to explain it is beyond human comprehension at the moment, but the Guardians of Oa could break it down for you. Magic isn't magic the way you think of magic, it's simply the manipulation of forces we can't fully comprehend yet."
"Oh," Kid Flash said, making a pizza vanish slice by slice as he considered it.
"That is an interesting way to explain it," Wonder Woman said thoughtfully.
"Magic really just means 'something we don't yet understand," John said with a shrug. "We can understand aspects of it, what it costs, what it does, etc… but it all boils down to manipulating reality using forces we can't fully quantify."
"I'm full," Artemis said with a relieved sigh before yawning.
"You'll want to pee and have someone brush your teeth before going to bed, because you are going to sleep somewhere between sixteen to twenty four hours," he warned her.
"I'll handle it," Wonder Woman said, helping Artemis to stand without launching the chair across the room.
"When you've all been talking about magic, you've been talking about forces you can manipulate but don't fully understand. Like ancient Greeks using lodestones to fake miracles," Kid Flash realized.
"Bingo," John agreed.
"How will I shave my legs?" Artemis asked suddenly, her sleepy mind latching on to a future concern.
"Our hair isn't invulnerable, you could use a blow torch and take care of it in seconds," John assured her.
"That works," Artemis said as Wonder Woman led her out of the room.
"So, I've been both right and wrong about magic," Kid Flash decided. "Its science, but one we don't understand."
"Pretty much," John agreed.
Green Arrow entered the room and saw a lot of normally loud and energetic teens being quiet and thoughtful. "What did I miss?"
"An explanation for magic that actually makes sense," Black Canary said.
"Seriously?"
"He rambled a little, but in the end everyone understood what he was talking about and seems to be in agreement," she replied.
"Writer," John reminded her.
"Is that your answer to everything?" she asked dryly.
"It's split between that and long rambling explanations," he replied cheerfully, "I usually get paid by the word."
Typing By: Abyssal Angel
