Something big was happening today.

And the adults had gone absolutely insane.

I am suffering and suffering is me.

I couldn't even whine about it because of how happy everyone looks! Honestly right now I am exhibiting levels of restraint that would put any other baby to shame! (not my most shining of achievements i'll admit but still important nonetheless)

I have been prodded pulled stuffed and squished, and have born it all with the noble grace of a lady, (i didn't throw a hissy fit i just gave everyone there the most disdainful stuck up glare i could manage (they still cooed at me.)) and graciously sat through them stuffing me in the ugliest cupcake of a dress i have ever seen. I literally could not put my arms down. That was how much tool there was in this god awful christ forsaken dress. Why mom granny and spots thought this was cute i'll never know.

"My baby's so grown up! Already seven months old and being presented! I'm so excited!" my new mom cooed sweeping me up swinging me around. This is my life now. This is how I live now. As a teddy bear. Dignity? What's that? Is it edible?

"The little princess is so cute! She's going to be the prettiest princess at the ball!" spots cooed. You are not helping, you are being the opposite of helpful. you are being UNHELPFUL! I desperately glanced for granny as my mother swung me around gracelessly. Granny you're my only hope!

"My lady perhaps you should put the little princess down-" sweet freedom! Thank you granny! "We still need to finish getting her ready, her hair hasn't been brushed and we haven't finished dressing her yet."

I stared at granny in disbelief, I was appalled! Betrayed when I needed her most! Granny how could you! I trusted you! Betrayed by my own not-flesh-and-blood! I don't even really have any hair yet!

The agony lasted for the next half an hour before I was deemed presentable by the merciless women. I was primped, pressed, and was as pretty as possible for an infant. It would be a lie to say that i wasn't excited. It was time to show me off to the world!


I was no longer excited. This is boring. I am bored.

I was being stiffly held by my father as mom droned on and on in a ceremonial manor. I had tried to pay attention to the ceremony I really had, but I still had the body of a baby and I was tired from all the fuss from this morning. My new dads arms were surprisingly comfortable and The steady lyrical tone of my mother's voice had sent me to sleep more surely then a lullaby.

So i might have fallen asleep in the middle of an important ceremony which was literally about me, but can you blame me? I'm a BABY for gods sakes! I might have the mind of a teenager but i'm physically a baby with all the hormones and instincts associated with being a baby! So i might have fallen asleep in the middle of an important ceremony which was literally about me, but it was not my fault and not that big of a deal. I honestly doubt that they said anything of real importance that I can't pick up somewhere else.

It sounds like mother's speech is winding down, maybe i'll get some food when this whole debacle is over. Puree carrots aren't exactly my favorite food but it's better then boob milk.

"...empowered with dins strength bathed in Nayru's knowledge and gifted with Farore's bravery, I present to you my people Hylea's blood, PRINCESS ZELDA BOSPHORUS HYRULE THE SEVENTY SECOND!"

… i'm sorry, WHAT?!