My cold: I was definitely a whiney human about what had once been a normal run of sinusitis after a cold. Anyone else notice basic colds have gotten worse after not experiencing them because of masks? And yes, I did take a swab up the nose.
The story: So I have definitely lost some readers/interest. I debated pulling out all of the little scenes that I have added in because some of you like the little bits (like maybe it's too much boring daily life-however my stuff is more of a character study than plot driven storyline), but I've decided to just let what has been written continue to exist. I obviously had to write a little scene at like 1500 words in that I was just not feeling, but it needed to be included because of other small scenes. So I'm posting a larger chapter than normal. We're pretty much going to move through all of Scarlett's pregnancy with this chapter.
Thanks again for reading and those who checked in on me.
Comments back:
Scarlett/Ashley- Scarlett has without a doubt moved on, but well we're human…Feelings and thoughts linger. We won't actually see Scarlett have direct thoughts about Ashley again for a few more chapters. You know how things pass through your mind, nostalgia about a time or seeing something as you once had. In that scene, Scarlett saw Ashley the man she loved since she was 16, had dreamed of their future together, had kissed while he was married and asked to run away with her, while his wife was there and her husband. I don't know what exactly her look/thought was, I imagine the heart of it was shame. Because she wasn't loyal to Ashley. She is happy with Rhett and how can she be happy with someone that isn't her true love?
Scarlett/Rhett- Fluff. Lol. They're REAL LIFE HAPPY. It's not pretty clean and neat. We just had Rhett with his deep and profound sense of purpose with the realization of the baby, his and Scarlett's baby. Lol. His total joy to her grumpiness over the baby. Her telling him not to go no matter what she says. He's furious in Atlanta and then happy again when he sees her. Lol. Rhett and Scarlett are not nice people, they're not easy people. Think of this stage of Rhett and Scarlett as when you get into fitness, it has exhausting moments, it has sore moments, but putting in the effort gets you that healthy body in the end. Scarlett's thoughts are heavily in the chapter. The characters take over in waves. Gonna post a little short in the challenge fic, which skipped over all the drama that would have gone on in the 2 years during the fic and focused on the theme (friendship).
Scarlett/children/Rhett – Rhett in this definitely gets that it's them (children/vanity) and not him. So far we saw Scarlett hand off Ella to Estelle once Rhett took her on to help care for the children at Calverton. We've seen that Ella isn't at the breakfast table with them and Scarlett chose to switch to late suppers so they'd eat without the children in the evening.
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Part Eighteen
Late November
Calverton
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"Ella," Rhett said to the little girl in her highchair before her mother could as they sat around the dining room table. The bread that she had in her hand was being crushed. Betina's French bread had become a staple at all of their meals in the last few weeks, Scarlett had been insisting of it instead of any other bakery items.
Ella smiled brightly at him with her milky white baby teeth.
"Down," he ordered her.
She smiled again but put the bread down.
"That's my sweet girl."
"Why do we let Ella at the table, but not Barry?" Wade asked .
"That's a very good question," Scarlett spoke from her seat next to Rhett and across from Ella and Wade for Scarlett's demand for she and Rhett to both sit at the ends of the table had disappeared within the first week of marriage and the children had returned to the supper table once she stopped taking the meal later in the evening because of the baby she carried.
"I have no problem with the dog joining us," Rhett's eyes sparkled as he refused to play Scarlett's game.
Wade's mouth opened.
"Don't even think about it," Scarlett spoke.
Wade's mouth closed in a disappointed pout.
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"Do you not find me attractive anymore?" Scarlett asked as Rhett separated from their kiss and moved to his desk in their office. She didn't give him a chance to respond. "Has it even been six months?"
"Three days ago."
"I suppose I should feel honored it took six months."
He took a steadying breath as he had learned to do, there had been many times he'd had to cause himself physical pain to not react to Scarlett. "What took six months?"
"For you not to be attracted to me."
"My dear I am more than certain I remarked how wonderful you looked when you came downstairs this morning." When she came downstairs at nearly noon.
"That is entirely different than being attracted to someone."
"I am certainly still attracted to you."
"Then why did you stop kissing me?"
"Because I prefer to stop before you slap me."
She stilled for a moment, "Why I've hardly done that-that often."
"More times than I would like to recall." There was also flinching, gasps not pleasure, but of pain, berating and whining.
"Well fine if you don't want to."
"Now my dear, I don't recall saying that. Not wanting to get slapped and not being interested are two very different things."
"Well it doesn't sound horrible right now."
He gave her a look.
"I think I finally got enough sleep," she offered without admitting that she wanted Rhett.
"My dear, you've been out of our room for barely an hour. You went to bed just past 8."
"I didn't sleep straight through; I just didn't come downstairs," she defended.
He laughed.
"We could try, it might be nice, just-"
"Avoid the areas that get me slapped?" he smiled as he slowly walked towards his wife.
"At least be gentle with them," she said with a beguiling look as she lifted up on her toes to kiss her husband.
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"I am not entirely sure if I did not conceive when the sheath broke or if I need to ask Betina to start preparing less rich foods."
He let out a light laugh, a feat considering she was standing next to their bed in the morning light without a stitch of clothing on, a hand on her thickening waist. He had noticed the slight changes to her face and her stomach in the recent weeks. "You did stop riding my sweet." Weight always came on faster when one was sedate.
"Don't remind me," she looked annoyed at the reminder of what she'd been forced to give up because of the child she carried.
"I certainly do not think you should give up the rich foods when I have placed you in this purgatory for nine months," he smiled and moved to her side of the bed capturing her hand.
"If not for the gossip, I'd hope I did conceive then, then there would be one less month of this."
He let out a louder laugh and pulled her onto bed with him. "My dear, no one would be surprised if the baby came a few weeks early, after all you are a very small woman and I am a very large man."
"I hadn't-" Her eyes suddenly widened, "Rhett what if I did conceive then and the baby actually does come early because of that. Why it'll look like-"
He let out another laugh, "It will look like we were doing exactly what we were doing this summer, which is what we will be doing momentarily. We obviously need to provide you with more safe and controlled exercises like the horses in their training pen and I can't think of any place safer than in our bed."
"But-"
"Whenever it happened it did. There is nothing we can do to change it. So put it out of your mind for now."
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December
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Scarlett was unfamiliar and uncomfortable with the feeling coursing through her as she watched Rhett pack his valise. She tamped it down and tried to come off as unaffected as she spoke, "It seems absolutely silly as rich as we are for you to have to travel days to retrieve Lawrence. Send a servant or pay someone from the school to act as his companion."
"Now Scarlett, I can hardly expect a 10-year-old boy to travel 500 miles with a stranger."
"If you get someone from the school, they won't be a stranger."
"I can hardly judge a person's character from 500 miles away. Children can't be entrusted to just anyone."
"Yes Rhett, I am a mother I know that. Are you saying that the school that you've had your ward in for the last four years employs people that cannot be trusted to watch over one well behaved child?"
"My dear," he said looking over, "a normal wife would just confess that they will miss their husband."
"Well of course I'll miss you Rhett, it's winter, there's absolutely no one else interesting in the country."
"Why don't you and the children go into Atlanta for the next few days?"
"Without you?"
"I have enough time between my trains that I can help you and the children get settled at the hotel. I planned to check on the house, but if you're there that negates that need."
"I could hardly go without you. What would I do all day? Spend it with Melly and Aunt Pitty? Why being alone in this house would likely be better."
"Now you've made enough friends in Atlanta outside of the tedious social group Mrs. Wilkes keeps. You spend far more time at your desk corresponding with friends than you do dealing with business matters."
"Well not by choice, you keep introducing me to new people."
"Give your fingers a break, practice the social skills that you certainly don't with me," he smirked.
"You're hardly one to talk."
"We won't see the Wilkes and the Hamiltons over the holidays, I am sure they'll appreciate the visit now. Shop, eat, socialize."
"Are you going to be socializing?"
He gave a tender smile at the sharp tone that accompanied her words. Suddenly recalling how he had planned out their future from the time Miss Melly told him Scarlett had moved and arriving on her doorstep. He planned to buy a place in the country, expecting his time there to be more like visits. The fact that she hated him being gone did such things to him. "Only with the Chastains since you had Geneve kindly offer to have Lawrence and I stay with them for the night."
"They won't be throwing any parties or-"
"Henry will be hosting a card game."
"Rhett, you're supposed to be on the morning train-"
"My dear I am more than capable of playing cards and then getting on a train. I am not like you, I don't require 10 hours of sleep."
"You're not growing another human being entirely from scratch," she gave him an annoyed look.
"My dear, I did live with you at Tara. You've been known to sleep 10 hours-"
"Considering I was caring for the children and still feeding Ella-"
"Yes, yes. I know I'm sorry," he said realizing his mistake the moment she began her retort, he'd abandoned his packing and moved in close to Scarlett, laying a hand upon her shoulder. "So when this one is out and all four are safely under the care of others, will you be awaking with me after seven hours?"
"Absolutely not, I imagine I'll be sleeping eleven if I don't actually have to deal with the children."
He laughed. "I'll finish packing in the morning. Let's discuss your upcoming trip to Atlanta."
"I didn't say was going to Atlanta," she said as she was swept towards the sofa.
"My dear your eyes are entirely too expressive, the moment I said it, it was as if all the wheels began to turn in your head."
She rolled her eyes, "Well if I'm going to Atlanta in the morning, then I'll need-"
"Estelle is incredibly efficient; she'll have you and the children packed in under an hour."
"There are more things I could use to pick up for Christmas," she admitted.
"And games of whist to play," he smiled and tugged his wife onto the sofa with him.
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Atlanta
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Scarlett paused for the briefest of seconds as Melly said the bakery was her next stop as they walked on the cool late autumn morning. She paused in her vivid maroon walking dress, she had packed to ensure that all eyes were on her and she'd been enjoying herself up until that moment. The idea of encountering THAT woman again. They had left the children with Dilcey, Prissy and Estelle and they had set out to run Melly's errands for the morning. It had seemed like a pleasant way to spend the morning, until Melly had brought up the bakery.
"Must you do business with that woman?"
"Mrs. Merriwether?" Melly asked in confusion.
"She's an absolutely horrid woman, I can't imagine why you'd give her your business."
"Did something happen between you and Mrs. Merriwether?" Melly had heard some rumblings regarding Rhett and Scarlett, especially with their interactions with the northerners, but she couldn't recall Mrs. Merriwether speaking much more than the other women.
"That woman accosted me on the street."
"She accosted you?" Melly paused, still confused by her sister-law.
"Do keep walking Melly," Scarlett said taking hold of Melly's elbow to guide her along, not interested in become fodder for gossip with all those passing them on the street.
"Do tell me what happened Scarlett," Melly said realizing she was to keep her voice low.
"I was walking to the bookshop, the very first weekend Rhett and I visited after we married. That old cow approached me and proceeded to tell me how someone had been planning to go out to the country to warn me off of marrying Rhett."
"Oh," Melly said softly.
"Oh?" Scarlett turned expecting outrage from her friend.
"Well Captain Butler had a period where he was very off-putting."
"Off-putting?"
"Don't look at me like that Scarlett, I certainly never closed our door to Captain Butler."
Scarlett turned away still glaring.
"He's much nicer than most people realize. I know you didn't make this decision rashly. Captain Butler certainly proved himself as a member of your family before you-"
"Rhett didn't have to prove anything," Scarlett snapped.
"Of course not, but not everyone knows Captain Butler as we do. Why I saw the moment we got off the train in Jonesboro what a wonderful family you made. Captain Butler loves those children as if they were his own. It's just-"
"It's just what?"
"People might be more receptive to Captain Butler if he didn't do so much business with all those horrible northerners-"
"Rhett's in the business of making money. Most of the people in this town don't have a lick of common sense."
"Scarlett!"
"It's true and you know it. They got us into that god awful war that we never had a chance of winning and destroyed all of our lives over it."
"I'd prefer if we didn't fight Scarlett."
"Are you still going to Mrs. Merriwether's bakery?"
"Not if you don't want me to."
"It doesn't matter to me; I have errands to run myself. I'll return to the house when I'm done."
"Scarlett, I can-"
"No, go about your morning. I've got Christmas gifts to buy. I need to be back at the hotel by noon in order to be ready to have dinner with those horrible northerners."
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Calverton
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"I do hope the addition of the baby will go as smoothly as Lawrence," Scarlett said brushing out her hair, they were two days into Lawrence's arrival.
"I hope it doesn't go as loudly," he smiled over as he sat on the sofa. The play and laughter in the house had increased tenfold by the addition of a single child in the house.
"Different types of loud," Scarlett flinched at the memory of being awoken by a screaming baby.
"The new house will be finished by then, we'll at least be able to limit our exposure."
"If I'm not able to limit my exposure to a baby needing to be fed, you're certainly not allowed to. The baby and I will follow you around all day if need be."
"To the stables and the pens?"
"You were the one that wanted a baby," she reminded him.
"I will endeavor to ensure our library will be vast enough to survive several months being sedate."
"You can stay inside with the baby and I'll spend my time with Shimmer."
"Seems fair," he nodded.
"Nothing about this is fair," she gave him a look.
"9 months out of your very long life."
She gave him another look.
"Lawrence is a wonderful addition to the house, you were right to insist we bring him to live with us," Rhett said going to change the subject back.
"The school did a wonderful job with him. I'm glad the boys will have each other. There are far too few children around, even the families with children aren't staying in the country during the school year if they can afford not to."
"You still don't want to move back to Atlanta my dear. Not even with your house going along so well?"
"There is no house you could ever buy me or build for me that would make me want to live there."
He smiled at the thought of that, suddenly reminded how greater his life was with the distance so great between his wife and Ashley Wilkes.
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Christmas Eve 1868
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"She acts as if it's all hers," Scarlett spoke the moment Estelle took Ella from them and headed towards the house as Rhett handed off the wagon to George to settle the horses for the night. The boys had run straight towards the kitchen to get a Christmas treat to bring to their horses in the stable.
"Is your tongue bleeding after biting it for the last four hours?" he questioned.
She gave him a dirty look, "Our cook provided the meal, I designed the parlor, you paid for the parlor, if not for me the-"
"O'Haras wouldn't even have Tara, they likely wouldn't even be alive," he finished his wife's rant. "You did a wonderful job planning Christmas Eve, apologies that the new house is impossible to complete quickly since we are in the middle of nowhere."
She looked over at where the house appeared to be mostly done, but she knew that the shell was just that, a shell. "Will we even be in it before the baby's here?" she laid a hand on her stomach, on the light gray cashmere sacque covering the green silk gown she had worn.
"We'll be in there long before that. Why it's just the finishing touches."
"Half of the rooms don't have floors."
"With as much wood as we're using, we should have built a mill."
"Horses are much better business than lumber. They're certainly more enjoyable to look at."
"I imagine that's only because they have yet to start working on your parquet in the foyer."
"It will be in several rooms."
"We are not doing entire rooms in such intricate patterns when you are planning on laying rugs over them. We may do the sides. I am more than agreeable that we can do herringbone-"
"You know I want Versailles."
"The baby will be in his own house if we lay all the floors in such an intricate pattern."
"Mrs. DeVaughn has just sent me the name of a-"
"No," was all he said.
"You didn't even hear what I had to say."
"I imagine you are saying something that will result in this house taking even longer to complete."
"The most intricately woven-"
He sighed. "Where do you want to do this?"
"The foyer."
"We will discuss it in two days, it is Christmas. Now let's go inside, Mammy would have my head if she knew I allowed you outside for this long in your condition."
She rolled her eyes again.
"Did you have a good Christmas?" he asked as he escorted her towards the front door.
"The best since the war."
"Even with Suellen?"
"Suellen has always managed to bring down Christmas, did I ever tell you how she once-"
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January
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"Let's go upstairs," Scarlett said mid-embrace with Rhett as he was beginning to undo the dressing gown she'd come downstairs in and had yet to go up and dress for the day.
"My dear, there is a perfectly nice chaise that has been missing us dreadfully," he said pushing apart her robe.
She gave a desperate look over to the windows, the drapes were drawn and they were hidden from outside view, but still far too much light came into the room. "The bed is far more comfortable."
"Seeing as I am the one who is about to be on it, I promise you it's not a problem for me," he said stepping away from his wife to begin to tug off his clothes.
Why he wanted her on display, in this light, he wanted to take in every inch of her…"Well then we hardly need to undress," she gave him a confident grin and went straight for the buttons on his trousers.
He enjoyed himself for a moment as his wife pushed him towards the chaise. He laid back like a happy fool with his member exposed, but his pants and shoes still on, watched in satisfaction as the dressing gown slipped off her shoulders as she approached him. He caught her up in a kiss that went on for several minutes, but as they reached the threshold to move beyond that his hands went to relieve her of her nightgown.
"I need you," she said moving to her task.
"And you'll have me," he said going to remove it once more.
"Rhett it's entirely too cold to be uncovered."
He paused confused by her words for every room in their house was always kept as if it were a warm spring day. "My dear are you trying to keep your nightgown between us?"
"It's very bright in this room."
"I know, I have had you in this room many times. It's why I enjoy having you in this room so very much. I get to see every wonderful inch of you."
"There is a lot more of me to see because of your baby."
"My dear are you not aware of how intimate I am of your body. Do you think I close my eyes while we are in bed?"
She sighed, "Rhett."
"Scarlett. Why we had relations in this room just the other week."
"The other week, when my stomach looked like I'd eaten a meal that was too heavy, it looks like I ate the entire dinner table now."
He laughed, "My dear there are days when you do eat the entire dinner table."
"We don't need to do this," she said going to get off of him.
His hands went around her upper arms, "My dear we most certainly do need to do this if I'm to do anything else today," he shifted underneath her. "You can't actually think I'll take offense to what our baby looks like growing within you."
"You're not the only one that has to see it," she said begrudgingly.
He laughed, "Focus on my face or a spot on the wall, but don't deny me my view." His hands went to her gown again. "That's my good girl," he said as she took over the task and pulled it over her head.
"I am neither the dog or Ella."
"My dear," he said taking in her body now on display for him, "of that I am very aware." He sat up to capture her in a kiss.
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Tara
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Scarlett sat rocking Ella at the nursery at Tara. Ella had fallen asleep easily, but Scarlett was in no rush to put her down. Scarlett was enjoying being in her childhood nursery. Seeing her beloved prints and the faded wallpaper. It was familiar, but odd to be in the room now.
To be in the room with Ella in her arms and faint flutterings of the new baby within her. She had been sure she would loathe being with another child, but it hadn't been so bad. It had almost been rather nice, it was certainly nicer now that they could have thick cuts of pork once more at dinner. Rhett was more than nice, he doted upon her. She had thought before that he spoiled her, but once they realized she was with child there had been no limit to his attention and devotion.
She'd always had easy pregnancies and deliveries according to Mammy. It was rather unfair that she'd have to spend several months not riding just as she'd finally gotten a horse again, but she had designing the houses to occupy her and Rhett filled the shelves with magazines and cookbooks. Betina always did such a wonderful job creating the new dishes and elaborate menus Scarlett would set out for her. He'd even brought out a seamstress from Atlanta to create a new wardrobe for her pregnancy even though she'd assured him she would have been more than capable.
There were almost moments she was annoyed at Rhett for making it fun, proving her wrong. She couldn't quite be though, not while he was being so wonderful.
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"You promised me a honeymoon with no children," Scarlett said laying on her husband's chest as they were in bed. It was starting to happen more frequently that they would go to bed without making love. The baby was starting to come between them, but Rhett had proven to be adaptive and adjusted for her growing stomach, often before she realized they needed to. His desire for her hadn't waned, but they had gotten less frantic for each other. The comfortable realization that they didn't have to every moment they could that there would be a moment in the future. It was nice just as nice as she'd thought it would be to lay at his side and simply talk until sleep claimed them.
"So I did."
"There was very clearly a child present for at least part if not all of our honeymoon."
The child pressed against him.
Amusement filled his voice, "Why so there was. I must admit it never occurred to me in that manner. Terrible manners of me to start our married life off with a lie. Albeit I was not aware-"
"Just one time," Scarlett repeated.
His laugh rumbled his chest under her head, "A calculated risk, which may have turned me into a liar. Obviously, I will make it up to you my darling. Our first anniversary, we will go away just the two of us."
"The baby will be too young."
"Our second."
"The baby will still be nursing," Scarlett pointed out.
There was a hint of relief in him left over from the moments followed the sheath breaking. He had promised her anything for their baby, wet nurses, nursemaids, Suellen raising the child. It was a relief to know she'd care for the baby just as she had Wade and Ella even though she hadn't wanted more children aside from them. "Our third then, I certainly refuse to share your body for that long."
"Considering I'll have been sharing my body with children for five years, I'm not certain you have any right to complain."
"Ah, but I worship your body," his hand moved to her hip. "So three years and then I will worship your body fully alone and devoid of children."
"I don't want to wait three years before we go away again."
He smiled, pleased at the change in Scarlett, when she had originally been so hesitant to leave the safety of Tara. "Then we will go away with the children. I still have to take you to Paris."
"Oh Rhett, I'll be in no shape to go to Paris for ages."
"My dear, let me tell you that even if you remained the shape you are right now for the rest of our lives, that shape is absolutely perfect. I do agree though that we should wait until the baby is at least one. Travel is certainly getting easier and will be far easier now that we're rich, but I imagine that would be far too much for a young baby."
"Paris sounds wonderful. Could we travel before that? Not far just several hours by train."
"Of course, we can my sweet. Would you like to go to Atlanta this weekend and see how your house is progressing?"
"Oh could we?" Her head tilted up with a smile.
"Of course, we can even leave the older children at home and while it won't be a completely childless trip," his hand moved to her stomach, "it would be less taxing for you."
"Melly would be so disappointed if we didn't bring the children and Wade would be upset that he didn't get to see Beau."
"Wade has Lawrence now, he is fully occupied my sweet."
"They're cousins they should be close friends. I don't want them to just see each other in the summer."
He didn't say a single word of how that was exactly how she had planned their lives prior to their marriage. "We will take all three and Prissy and Estelle and leave them at the Wilkes."
"We can't just leave them there."
"We will retrieve them before bed and then you and I will go out."
"Are you bored in the country Rhett?" Scarlett asked suddenly worried that this had all been too much for him.
"My dear, I was trying to be a gentleman and allow you a full night's sleep because of the baby. You however are going to force me to show you just how, not bored I am, aren't you?" He kept a straight face as he shifted them so that suddenly he was above her.
"You did make some mention of worshipping me," she offered keeping the same straight face.
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Atlanta
Late January 1869
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Bemused she thought looking over at her husband, the look on his face was bemused. He had the same look on his face that he would have when watching her eat some sinfully delicious food. "Do I amuse you, Captain Butler?" They were in their new house in Atlanta and had just met with the artist who would be painting the mural in the dining room now that the finishing trim was done in the room.
"You amuse me a great deal Mrs. Butler if there were a single room in this entire house not filled with a worker or hazardous to your wellbeing, I would show you how much you amuse me."
She rolled her eyes, "I simply want everything to be perfect."
"The house will be the perfect reflection of your sense of style."
"Why does that sound as if you're insulting my dress today?"
His laughter drew the attention of several workers as they walked the halls. "My only fault with your outfit today my sweet, is that it is bronze and not gold, truly it reflects poorly upon my wealth."
She gave a look down at her street dress of bronze poplin, every edge trimmed in scallop, the flounce, the tablier, the broad bias on the sides added several more inches to her, but made it so the sash high on her stomach did not hint at the life growing with in her. "That much yellow would hardly be flattering."
"Yes, but then I would look like King Midas. What does it say that I can only outfit you in bronze?"
"That I would look sickly in that much gold. Which is saying a lot."
"Well, this is certainly an inspired look," he nodded.
"I adore my bronze boots; I can hardly wear them at home."
"No one in Atlanta would believe how demure and understated you dress in the country. Certainly not after this and the entire length of your skirt tonight is covered in French lace."
"It takes a lot to distract the eye from how large my waist has grown."
"My dear, no one sees those few inches with your clothing on. Tell me will you be wearing your gold headdress tonight?"
"No Estelle is getting roses."
"Roses in winter, wonderful way to show off our wealth."
"I thought so," she smirked.
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Atlanta
Late February 1869
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"You look wonderful," Rhett said as Scarlett finally left their room at the National, taking even longer with her toilette than usual.
"I look ridiculous," she said looking down at her deep green silk and crepe evening gown. Her hair was tucked up neatly in a simple design very unlike Scarlett or Estelle, but allowed the golden feather earrings inlaid with pearls, diamonds, emeralds and sapphires to be showcased, especially with the tuft of green feathers on her shoulders.
"You look exquisite," he said standing.
"Rhett, we had to have my waist start at my fourth rib," she looked appalled.
He smiled taking in the high waist and full skirt. "My dear, no one will be looking at your waistline with that neckline."
"Why does all of me insist on growing?" she said looking down at the white flesh peaking out of the ruched sage green silk. "This was a horrible idea, why did I let you talk me into this? They all already look at me."
"You are growing because of your wonderful gift to me," he cajoled as he captured her arms with his hands. "Do you like your birthday gift?" he questioned looking at the earrings.
"Of they're absolutely marvelous. Estelle and I spent ages trying to figure out how to make the broach work with this dress."
"I am glad you left it off or I imagine I would have ended up in jail for murder before the night's end." A bejeweled broach of a peacock would have drawn attention even without the scandalously low neckline.
"We shouldn't have come, I'm far too far along."
"That is why we are celebrating early, then we will return to the country and await the baby," one of his hands moved to her stomach.
"Rhett, you're making me turn 24 early and then locking me away for the next four months."
"My dear, I am more than certain it will be three." There were moments when he saw her that he couldn't imagine it being more than another two.
A worried look passed her face. "We really shouldn't have come to Atlanta."
"Nonsense, now we must go. I imagine we'll already be the last ones to arrive at your birthday supper. We certainly have to go considering the great kindness the Janssens have bestowed on us to host such a party. If you're worried about people talking, imagine what they'll say if we fail to show up."
"That Butler woman finally came to her senses?" She responded dryly.
He laughed. "Did you really get Miss Melly to agree to socialize with all the dirty carpetbaggers?"
"The Janssens are growing exceptionally dull, in a few months I suspect they'll be friends with the Old Guard."
"What a dreadful surprise that will be when we do finally return to Atlanta, now where is your wrap?"
"By the door."
"Let's go and enjoy your birthday supper."
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Calverton
March 1869
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
Scarlett looked to the spot the children had been playing in her office and felt horrible for sending them out of the room as she wrote her letter. She had snapped. The baby had been kicking, they had been loud, she'd nearly flung the satchel of lemon verbena out of the window as she wrote her letter.
She knew her letter was wrong. So very wrong. Asking Melly to put off her visit until after the baby arrived while Melly had practically offered to come and stay the moment Beau got out of school for the season until the baby arrived. The house was full and the idea of having to host someone for well over a month. To have to be on good behavior, to behave appropriately with Rhett while in their own house.
Constant reminders that Rhett was only the children's stepfather and not their father, therefore reminding Scarlett of all the mistakes in her past and how easy it would be to slide into them again.
There was time enough in the future to be a better person. After her pregnancy. A gracious and kind person.
It was hard enough being a wife, mother and pregnant. It was hardly fair to be expected to be a good friend and sister-in-law as well, especially for longer than an afternoon. Why she was very nearly wonderful with Suellen, likely because they only saw each other once a week.
She nodded at herself and her reasoning.
Why she could hardly be expected to learn to be a better person, while being forced to live within her past.
She sealed the letter and stood with it in hand to give it to Estelle to post. Making up with the children would make her feel better, she'd likely lose at least an hour to appease her conscience.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
His hand moved over her stomach. There was no subtle or gentle curve. It was massive.
Her stomach, her breasts and her hips were no longer her own, but the baby's.
It was all simply exaggerated in comparison with Wade. Mammy told her it was because it was the third and her age. Mammy had quickly learned what Scarlett thought about the age comment. She had certainly been bigger with Ella as well in comparison to Wade.
She recalled how often she had been horrified and repulsed by her body as she carried Wade and Ella. Grateful no man would see her body in such a state for Frank Kennedy had certainly not tried to see his wife's body after the words she had spoken to him while he had tried to be intimate once it had been confirmed she was expecting and Charles had been long dead by the time her body showed any signs of pregnancy with Wade. Rhett though seemed to revel in it. To Rhett it was wonderful and amazing. Not the grotesque sight she saw when left alone with it for too long.
In Rhett's arms even with the very large baby, she still felt small. Even if her waist never fully recovered from this baby, her waist would likely still be smaller than his thigh even without a corset. Not that she had ever thought of measuring her husband's thigh, but it would certainly be impossible to lace it to the nineteen inches she had gotten her waist to after Ella. Why she imagined it had to be close to 26, it had taken months of pregnancy for her waist to be as broad as his thigh.
It was hard to have such a hatred of the changes within her body when her husband still carried her as easily as Ella and looked at her body with even more lust and adoration than before. It should be impossible for her to find the strokes along her stomach intimate, certainly not the gentle caress of overly sensitive and overly large breasts, but by the time he undid the ties of her dressing gown she was more than ready to shed it herself and eagerly turned for his kiss.
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
"Mama," Ella said looking for attention with her dolls as the family sat together in the parlor, "play dollies?" Ella stood before her mother on the sofa with her two favorite dolls. Rhett and the boys sprawled on the carpet playing.
"Mother," Scarlett corrected as she took the doll and her daughter went to climb up.
"Oh Scarlett," Rhett paused in their play, "not that again, what two year old calls their mother, mother. Let her call you Mama."
"Wade still does and he's seven," Lawrence chimed in.
"No I don't," Wade spoke with wide and embarrassed eyes.
Rhett and Scarlett both let out small smiles. "It's fine son," Rhett said laying a hand on Wade, "your mother knows she's truly needed when you call her Mama."
Scarlett resisted rolling her eyes, it was either an emergency or her son was cranky. "Wade was calling me mother before we left Atlanta the first time."
Wade gave a self-righteous look at Lawrence.
"Scarlett its hardly fair for her to stop being the baby and to stop calling you mama within a matter of months."
She gave her husband a look, "Do recall whose decision it was to make it so Ella was no longer the baby."
"Not a baby, big girl," Ella said looking up at her mother.
"Yes and big girl's call their mother's mother."
"You're Mama."
"Mother," Scarlett repeated.
"Mama," Ella smiled.
"Ella, I am your mother, say mother."
"Mama," she grinned.
Rhett laughed, "Scarlett you called your father, Pa. What are you expecting from your daughter?"
"Well she can call you, Daddy until you die. I will most certainly be Mother."
The boys gave each other looks as Rhett laughed.
"Mother," Scarlett repeated.
"Mama," Ella answered.
"Ella, where's the baby?" Rhett called out.
"Baby," Ella said laying both hands and a cloth doll on her mother's stomach.
Scarlett shot her husband an annoyed look.
"Mama n' baby play dolls?"
Scarlett sighed, "Yes Mother and baby will play dolls."
-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-
For months she had taken to keeping her drawers on at night when she changed for bed. There remained a decent chance her husband would eventually remove them, but until that activity began her drawers remained because of her husband's new activity. Watching the baby move within her. She was very nearly sure that Rhett preferred that activity to being intimate at this point.
He was captivated by watching the already distended flesh distend even further. He had taken to lifting her gown so often before bed that she'd had no choice, but to keep the undergarment on. If it had been up to him, she would spend the night sitting with him on the settee without a stitch of clothing on.
For a man, normally of such refined taste, she couldn't understand what he saw in her body in its deformed state. There were moments she wondered if he were like Ella, who took such great joy in knocking down building blocks. Did he revel in his power? The fact that he had taken a lovely body and a waist that had managed to return to 19 inches after two children and destroyed it. Her body was reaching a point where it had swelled to a point she wasn't sure it could get much larger without exploding.
With Wade her waist had returned to 17.5 inches, with Ella 19, although she was sure she would have gotten it down to 18 if she'd had any need for Prissy to tightly lace her. With this baby, Scarlett didn't think for a second there would be any hope of just a half inch or even an inch. She was trying to come to terms with a 21 inch waist and mentally prepare herself in case it ended up being a 22 inch waist.
Last year she had been resigned to a life out in the country, of simple dresses and a simple life. Then Rhett Butler had swept back in. The idea of having to be seen out with a waist she could only get to 22 inches. She knew it said horrible things about her, a waist that would still be the envy of so many and certainly any mother of three.
"Are you uncomfortable my sweet?" Rhett questioned, his attention drawn away from her stomach to the entirety of Scarlett as she shifted.
She had been uncomfortable for months since that very first wave of nausea. She didn't bother with words, her eyes said it all.
"Let's retire to our bed, it'll be far easier for you to get comfortable there."
"I am not-"
"Comfortable anywhere," he said finishing her words as he stood.
He was simply so adoring and devoted. She was sure that 18-year-old girl would have relished the power she had now over Rhett. However, his twenty-four-year-old wife simply found it baffling. She was very nearly sure he loved her, but she wasn't entirely sure she wasn't just his favorite toy and a means to achieving what he wanted.
He had settled upon an age when he, quite unlike the man he'd been in his thirties, wanted a family. She had thought that was evident with the children, but the baby, put his behavior with them to shame. It wasn't even here yet and it was already the greatest thing ever.
He certainly didn't want a home for he seemed to find all aspects of their homes trying, certainly all of the servants that often caused more trouble than they alleviated. He gave her the world with the Atlanta house, but stopped or altered nearly all of her plans for their main home. He told her more than once that if not for the children he'd rather live in a well-run hotel.
It had to have been her though. He had to love her. He had returned as rich as Croesus. He could have had his pick of any of the ladies in England or Charleston or Atlanta, but he had returned to her. He had moved to the country, which he had often mocked and still sometimes poorly tolerated, for her.
She did so enjoy his attention as baffling as it was for he never spoke as any of her suitors had. Oh he told her that he loved her in the act of lovemaking or a casual comment. She had found a way to return his comments, 'Tell Daddy we love him,' was easy to get the children to say and she did love him in her own way.
He was a good provider, a good father, a good husband, minus the baby he had foisted upon her years prior to her timeline. She could spend hours talking to her husband and no one was ever as engaging as him when he got on a roll. He spoiled the children far too much and she was sure if she weren't expecting that he would countermand her discipline constantly for she always saw it lurking in his eyes.
It wasn't the life she dreamed of once, full of dancing or parties, although he did promise her that he would dance with her regularly once she was done with her pregnancy. They'd made a single attempt when their ballroom was completed or as Rhett called it, 'The Hall' for it was not yet, quite grand enough to be a ballroom. It had not gone well and she could fully admit afterwards that she'd behaved as a sullen child as she'd been unable to easily participate in the activity she loved so. It had perhaps been worse with Estelle in the room behind the piano, privy to Scarlett's private discomfort.
She did so hope he loved her for she knew what happened with favored toys, they were always eventually forgotten for a new toy.
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