Again, thanks for the reviews! Some people asked me why Axel and Roxas were naked last time. You'll find out now.
This chapter is living proof of why this storyis rated "T". Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Pizza Hut. The only thing I own are the evil people in my head.
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 4
Anniversary
After the very eventful night, Roxas woke up and went to eat breakfast. He got a bowl of cereal from the kitchen and went to the dining room, where Demyx was already eating.
"Good morning!" Roxas said, sitting in front of Demyx.
"What are you so happy about?" Demyx asked as Larxene walked past, a bottle of aspirin in one hand and a wet rag in the other.
"Oh, what terrible things these eyes of mine have seen! Oh, I will get revenge, they will pay for making me have nightmares…" Larxene muttered to herself, obviously not noticing Demyx and Roxas having there breakfast.
She walked out of the room, leaving Roxas confused. "What's her problem?"
Demyx looked up. "She woke up in the middle of the night and found herself on the kitchen floor. She looked out the window and saw you and Axel nude. What were you two doing anyway?"
Roxas looked up, smiling. "We were doing a ritual dance for the god of hell."
"O…kay," Demyx said, wishing he didn't ask. Axel and Roxas did a lot of weird things when they were bored. That was obviously one of them.
"Sooooooo aren't you gonna wish me and Axel a happy anniversary?"
Demyx spit out the orange juice that he was drinking. They have an anniversary? What kind of sick joke is this?
Roxas saw the shocked look on Demyx's face. "Don't tell me you forgot! Don't you remember what happened a year ago on this very day?"
Demyx thought for a moment. He always did have short-term memory loss. And long-term memory loss.
Roxas pouted. "Ah, come on! It's when me and Axel became best friends!"
"Oh…," Demyx said. No wonder he forget. Heck, the whole Organization wanted to forget that day!
"I remember it as it was yesterday…," Roxas said.
(flashback)
The eleven organization members were in the meeting room, waiting for Xemnas to get the meeting started. Five minutes later, Xemnas walked in, a huge smile was on his face as if he was a kid at a carnival.
"Guess who is now the thirteenth member of my, I mean our, Organization!" Xemnas said, overjoyed with happiness.
"The muffin man?" Saix asked stupidly.
"A therapist?" Zexion said.
"A stuffed dummy that I could use my guns on?" Xigbar asked.
"Why don't you use it on Axel," Marluxia said. "I hope it's a hairstylist."
"Is it a member of the FBI?" Axel asked happily. Unfortunately, Larxene heard him. "You sick pervert!" She yelled as she threw her knifes at him. Axel ducked.
"Ha! Ya missed you bi-"
"Enough!" yelled Xemnas.
Both Axel and Larxene sat back down again as Xemnas continued.
"You have all guessed wrong. The new member is the Keyblade Master's Nobody wh-"
All the member's had shocked looks on their faces. Even Zexion, but he quickly replaced it with and expressionless look.
"Are you joking?" Vexen said as Axel started tapping his fingers on the desk.
"Man, are you done yet? I'm getting bored. Really bored," Axel said, starting to get sleepy.
Xemnas turned to Axel. "You know, I still need to punish you for what you did this morning."
"Ah, come on! It was just a joke! Can't you take a joke?" Axel asked, putting his feet on the table in front of him.
Xemnas got angry. "Putting rat poison in my morning coffee is not funny. I could have died!"
"It wasn't rat poison, it was plant food. But they taste the same,"
"How would you know?"
"Don't know, don't care."
"That's it! Your punishment is to show our new member around. And don't you dare start complaining!"
"What? Do you know who he-" Axel started, but was interrupted.
"Hahahaha! Have fun getting your butt whopped by the Keyblade Master's Nobody!" Larxene started laughing hysterically as Axel walked out of the room.
> > > > > > > > > >
Axel walked through the hallway, trying to think up a plan of revenge.
"I could always pull a prank on him, but he'd know it was me. Man, what am I supposed to do?"
He turned the corner and saw a kid with short, spiky blonde hair and blue eyes, pacing next to the front door, thinking hard about something. He was already in the Organization outfit.
"…That guy has nerve to boss me around, the silver haired dummy. I should do something evil, but what? Oh! I could put a baby crocodile in his toilet!"
Hearing that, Axel fell on the floor laughing like crazy at the thought of Xemnas getting his ass bitten by a crocodile.
The boy saw him, pulled out his Keyblades, and was ready to defend himself. But stopped when he saw the red headed man laughing on the floor.
"That…is so…rich!" Axel said in between laughs. "I wish I thought of it!"
"Who the heck are you?" The boy asked, staring at Axel as if he was crazy, which he was.
"The silver haired dummy, Xemnas, told me to show you around. But forget that. Lets do your prank instead. Oh yeah, the names Axel. Got it memorized?" Axel said, holding out his hand.
"I'm Roxas," he said shaking Axel's hand.
"Okay then, now where are we gonna get a baby crocodile?"
Roxas grinned like a madman. "Just leave that to me."
An hour later, they were both hiding in the hallway closet in front of Xemnas's room. Roxas had already put the baby crocodile in Xemnas's personal toilet. Now all they had to do was wait till Xemnas had the urge to piss.
"Ha! Man, I can't wait until he goes!" Roxas said, holding back his laughter.
"That's not all, I put your camcorder on his towel shelf. Now we can sell the footage on ebay!" Axel said, also holding back laughter.
They suddenly went quiet as they heard Xemnas walking in the hallway.
"Alright Luxord, I'll be right there," Xemnas said as he entered his room. The two troublemakers saw him through a crack in the closet door.
They waited patiently, until they heard a scream.
"VEXEN? VEXEN, GET THIS THING OFF OF MY ASS! SOMEBODY HELP ME!"
Axel opened the closet door, then he and Roxas were on the ground, laughing like crazy.
Xemnas was running through the hall with a green thing hanging off of his butt. Roxas got his camcorder out of the bathroom, and both he and Axel ran after Xemnas.
"LUXORD! SAIX! VEXEN! ONE OF YOU GET IT OFF OF ME!"
Bedroom doors opened and everyone gasped as they saw the Superior running through the halls, screaming like the sissy little girl that he was.
Demyx went up to Xemnas and ripped the crocodile off him. "Ah, it's so cute! Can we keep it?"
"Hell no!" Xemnas yelled.
"Put some pants on!" Larxene said as she dove back into her room.
"You're quite lucky. It was only an inch away from your you-know-what," Luxord said, examining the bite marks.
"Damn, we were so close!"
The Organization members turned to see Axel and Roxas, who still had his camcorder, standing a few feet behind them.
"You did this?" Xemnas asked, ready to blow his top.
"My idea," Roxas said, pointing to himself.
"And I helped," Axel said, giving Roxas a high five.
"WHEN I GET MY HANDS ON YOU TWO!" Xemnas yelled, running after them with a pitchfork.
The two troublemakers ran through the hallway, laughing like complete morons.
And that was the day Axel and Roxas became best friends.
It was also the day the Organization's worst nightmare came true: Axel now had a playmate, who he would make trouble and play pranks with.
(end flashback)
"I wish he kept the baby crocodile…" Demyx said.
"Either way, It was the best day of my life! Well, it was the first day of my life, but it was fun!" Roxas said, finishing his cereal.
Just then, Axel burst in, looking happy. "Come on, hurry up, the rest of the Organization's in the living room. We're going to dare each other, man style!"
The two boys got up and followed Axel to the living room.
> > > > > > > > > >
"Yay! Now we're going to play truth of dare, but without the truth part. And we're gonna play the manly way,"
"Excuse me," Larxene said, since she was the only woman here.
"You're exused, now, Roxas, start us off," Axel said, leaning against the wall.
You must be thinking: why on earth would the Organization agree with this? Simple- it would keep Axel and Roxas occupied so they won't cause any trouble in the castle.
"Hm, Luxord, I dare you to sing 'Twinkle, twinkle, little star' with your mouth full of marshmallows!" Roxas exclaimed.
Luxord sighed and did what Roxas said. He stuffed a couple of marshmallows in his mouth (the big ones) and tried to sing. Unfortunately, they melted and were stuck inside his mouth, so he couldn't say a word.
"Mhmhmhhhhmmhhmhm," he said, but nobody knew what he meant. Get it? Nobody.
"You all are sissy's!" Axel said.
Almost all of them had went, and Xemnas was the last one. He was afraid. Very afraid.
"Now, what should I dare you to do?" Axel asked, tapping his chin.
"Oh!" Roxas said, going over to Axel and whispering something in his ear.
"Hahahaha, that's good," he turned to Xemnas. "I dare you to order 13 extra large pepperoni pizzas, in your boxers. And when they get here, answer the door in your boxers."
"What? Over my dead body," Xemnas said, turning pink.
"You have no choice. Do you know how much blackmail material we have? We could use it against you," Roxas said as everyone laughed.
Xemnas walked away so he could undress in privacy.
"All of you are sick," Larxene said.
"You're calling us sick? You torture people, and you like it!" Axel said.
"Well it's better than seeing a grown man in his boxers," Larxene argued back.
"Oh no, this is much better," Demyx said as Xemnas reentered the room.
Axel stared in shock as everyone burst out laughing. Xemnas had Barney on his boxers. And Axel was terrified by Barney.
"You like Barney? Marluxia asked as he continued to laugh.
"Shut up, pinky," Xemnas said as he took out his cell phone.
"Hello! This is Pizza Hut! How can we help you?" asked the person on the other line.
"Can I please have 13 extra large pepperoni pizzas?" Xemnas said,red in the face.
"We'll be there in 30 minutes!" the person said as he hung up.
> > > > > > > > > >
Thirty minutes later, someone knocked on the door. Xemnas got up and answered it.
The guy on the other side started talking. "Your total comes to $214.17. Cash plea- WTF?"
The pizza guy stared at Xemnas, who was in his favorite pair of boxers.
"Dude, do you have to answer the door like that?" He asked, feeling uncomfortable.
"Give me the damn pizza," Xemnas said, getting ready to beat the poor guy up.
"Here! It's free!" he said as he turned around and ran down the road screaming.
> > > > > > > > > >
A mile away, a red and yellow gummi ship sat on a hill, looking directly toward The Castle That Never Was.
Inside the gummi ship, a boy with spiky brown hair looked out at the castle with a pair of binoculars as the pizza guy went screaming past them.
The boy looked at the front door of the castle, were he saw Xemnas in boxers, holding 13 boxes of Pizza.
He turned to the table next to him, where a silvered haired boy was plotting and scheming.
"Hey Riku, look at this! Xemnas is in Barney boxers! The boy, Sora, said.
Riku looked out the window. "WTF?"
"I think this is the perfect time to attack," Sora said, smiling very like an evil man.
"I have to agree with you on that," Riku said, grabbing his Keyblade.
"They're gonna be crying like babies," Sora said, grabbing his own Keyblade and following Riku out of the gummi ship.
> > > > > > > > > >
Am I evil or what? And what are Sora and Riku doing here? Read and Review!
