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A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 5

Attack on the Castle

Sora and Riku made their way down to The Castle That Never Was; a Keyblade in both their hands, along with really, really scary Halloween masks on.

They were dressed like army men; a bunch of pockets on their cloths containing poppers, matches (for who knew what), paintball guns, water guns, water balloons, and a lot of other things that they could cause trouble with.

"We've done this for three months straight, and it never gets boring," Sora said, making his Keyblade vanish, and pulling out his poppers.

"As long as Kairi never figures out what we do when she's at the mall, we can keep on doing this," Riku said, putting away his own Keyblade and getting out his paintball gun.

> > > > > > > > > >

The Organization was currently in the living room, eating the pizza that Xemnas got from the idiotic pizza guy.

"Ah, this day can't get any better," Roxas said as he chucked down his tenth slice of pizza.

"All I want is for this day to end already," Xemnas said, sitting on the couch, grumpy.

"My hunter senses are kicking in," Xigbar said, looking out the window.

"What do you see Xigbar?" Luxord asked. Everybody in the whole castle knew that he had the best vision. Which was why he was the one who caught the large Chocobo that they all had for Thanksgiving.

"Oh no…not them again…it's those two evil boys that come here once a month to cause trouble!" Xigbar yelled, getting out his guns.

"What are we waiting for then? Run for your pathetic nobody lives!" Xemnas said as they all got up and ran throughout the castle, trying to hide.

Marluxia went to the greenhouse, pulling out his scythe and putting his hood on; Luxord hid under his poker table; Demyx hid in the shower; Vexen went to the cooler room; Lexaeus hid in the kitchen, pan held high above his head. Xemnas jumped in a darkness portal, which led to his offcie; Xaldin jumped out the window; Zexion just disappeared completely; Larxene went to where the generator was; Xigbar stayed behind the couch, guns at the ready; and Saix was patrolling the halls, in berserk mode.

Axel and Roxas were in the hall, completely defenseless.

"What are we supposed to do? I don't know where else to hide!" Axel said as the front door fell of it's hinges, and a cloud of smoke appeared.

"We fight, that's what we'll do! We'll end this once and for all," Roxas said, getting Oathkeeper and Oblivion out.

"I know I'm going to regret this…" Axel muttered as he took out his chakrams.

The smoke cleared to reveal the two boys. The one on the left pointed the paintball gun at them.

"Any last words?" he said as the boy next to him got ready to throw his poppers.

"Parley!" Roxas yelled, very amused.

"What?" Axel asked his best friend.

"Do we look like pirates to you?" the boy on the right said, taking of his mask to reveal…

"WTF? Roxas, it's your somebody!" Axel yelled, staring at Sora.

"Don't forget me," Riku said, still holding his paintball gun.

"What are you doing here?" Roxas asked, watching Riku's every move.

"We came to have fun, got a problem?" Sora said, grinning at Axel evilly.

"Roxas?" Axel whispered, leaning toward his spiky haired friend.

"What?" Roxas asked.

"RUN!"

> > > > > > > > > >

Sora was running down a random hall, chasing Axel. He and Riku spilt up when the two idiots ran for cover.

Sora finally managed to catch up with Axel, and started throwing poppers at his feet.

"Dance, fool, dance! Hahahahaha!"

Axel continued running, but he wasn't paying attention to where he was running. He ran into a huge flower vase (wonder who put it there).

"Damn you, Marluxia. Damn you and your flowers to hell," Axel said as he passed out.

"Muwhahahahahahahaha!" Sora laughed, then disappeared.

> > > > > > > > > >

"Quit moving you little rat!" Riku yelled, trying to hit Roxas with his paintball gun. "Damn it! Missed again!"

Roxas was clearly enjoying himself, trying to outrun Riku. He used his Keyblades to block, and hit back, everything Riku threw his way.

"What's wrong Riku? Can't you hit me? Or am I too fast for the little baby?"

"That's IT! You're dead now! DEAD!" Riku yelled, taking out his Way To Dawn and coming up to Roxas, who was a little too quick for him.

"Missed me, missed me, now you gotta kiss me!" Roxas said, doing a victory dance.

"Are you nuts? Wait, yes you are," Riku said, but Roxas came up behind his and knocked him unconscious.

"One down, one more to go," Roxas muttered, turning around.

Behind him stood…Darth Vader!

"What the-?"

Darth Vader took out a red lightsaber and charged toward Roxas.

Out of nowhere, Roxas got a blue lightsaber and blocked his attack.

"Why are you here?" Roxas asked as they both stood their ground.

"I am your father," Darth Vader said.

"Noooooooooo! Wait a sec, I don't have a father!" Roxas yelled, staring at "Darth Vader".

"Um, I'm your mummy!" he said, trying to think of something.

"Sorry," Roxas answered, not meaning any of it.

"Ugh, I'm your twin brother? Sister? Aunt? No wait, I'm your uncle twice removed…"

While Darth Vader was talking to himself, Roxas snuck up behind him and took of his helmet, only to surprise himself.

"Sora?"

Sora looked up, and finally realized that Roxas knew who he was. "Hello, how may I help you?" Sora said, trying to run away.

"Oh, no you don't," Roxa said, grabbing the boy.

"Don't hurt me! Please don't hurt me!" Sora yelled, trying to get away.

"Okay," Roxas said, hitting Sora over the head with his lightsaber.

"That's…not…what…I…meant! Ow!" Sora yelled as he ran away, screaming.

"Weirdo," Roxas said rolling his eyes. "Hey, where's Axel?" He walked down a hallway, where he saw Axel on the ground, cursing in his sleep.

"Come on, wake up," Roxas said as he kicked Axel in the stomach.

"Five more minutes, mommy," Axel said.

Roxas sighed. Idiot, what am I supposed to do? Oh wait, I know! Roxas started hitting him with his lightsaber.

"What the-! Oh, it's just you. I thought it was Sora again," Axel said, sitting up.

"Well, thanks to me, he's gone," Roxas sad, striking a pose.

"Well then, what are we supposed to do now?"

> > > > > > > > > >

Xemnas was sitting in his office, waiting for the two Keyblade Wielders to leave. He was happily eating a bag of chips when two hologram-like figures appeared in front of him.

He looked up, "Who the heck are you?"

The cloaked one looked at him. "I am the Galactic Emperor, The Sith Lord. And this is…um…Darth Vader, yeah, Darth Vader," he said, pointing to a black figure next to him.

"Who's your daddy?" Darth Vader said, shaking his butt.

"Not you," Xemnas muttered, staring at them both, "What do you two want?"

"Long time no see, Xemnas. Is this why you came to the Dark Side, to sit on your lazy ass and eat junk food?" The cloaked person-The Sith Lord-said.

"Well, no, but…"

"Get up and do something then! Use the force!" Darth Vader yelled.

"Yeah, what he said!" The Sith Lord said.

Xemnas looked from one to the other, really confused. "What am I supposed to do anyway?"

"Kill Axel and Roxas," Darth Vader said. "Then we, I mean you, will rule the world!"

"But I already rule this world."

The Sith Lord hit Darth Vader on the head. "He meant, you'll rule all the worlds."

"Ow! I've been hit by a lot of people today, do have to make it worse?" Vader said.

"Shut up and stick to the plan!" Sith said.

While they were arguing, Xemnas snuck out into the hall, were he heard the same two voices arguing in the closet across from his room.

"Damn, where did he got? You scared him away!"

"Me? If you didn't hit me, he wouldn't have left!"

Xemnas opened the door to find Sora dressed as Darth Vader and Riku dressed up as The Sith Lord. They were using a hologram projector, that's how they were in Xamnas's room.

"Busted," Riku said.

"You…," Xemnas said, taking out his lightsaber-like weapons.

"Run for it!" Sora shouted, but Xemnas locked the door.

"I don't think so. You two aren't going anywhere," he said, getting closer.

"Someone help us! He's going to-!"

> > > > > > > > > >

All was quiet that night as a gummi ship made it's way into the night, both it's passengers laughing like maniacs.

"Man, did he really think that he'd beat us?" Riku said, giving Sora a high five.

"'Use the force' ha! I didn't think he would actually try it!" Sora said.

"It just goes to show you that he's an idiot!" Riku said.

They both burst into laughter as they made there way back to Destiny Islands.

TBC...

I'm not a big Star Wars fan, so I had to get help from my brother with all this Star Wars stuff, so don't start telling me that it's not supposed to go like that. Not as funny as my other chapters, and it's confusing,but don't worry, I'll update soon. R&R!