Disclaimer: I'm not smart enough to make something like this.

A Tale of Two Idiots

Chapter 6

The Missing Candy

The next day…seven in the morning…

"NNNNOOOO!"

Axel woke up with a start as he heard that high pitched scream. Which sounded just like Roxas…

Thinking the worst, Axel jumped out of bed. "I'm coming buddy!"

Axel ran through the hall in his flame colored pj's, heading to where the scream came from: the kitchen.

As he came closer, he saw Marluxia coming out of the kitchen, sighing.

"What happened?" Axel asked.

"Go and see for yourself. I need my beauty sleep you know…" Marluixa said, walking away.

"You need more than beauty sleep…" Axel muttered, entering the kitchen to find Roxas on the ground, his head in his hands, sobbing. There was an empty pixie stick straw next to him, with pixie dust all around him.

"What happened?" Axel repeated.

"Thieves! Thieves I tell you!" Roxas said, in between sobs.

"I'm confused," Axel said.

"Someone stole my candy, and the pixie sticks! All of them! And they left a ransom note!" Roxas yelled, handing Axel a note. The person who wrote it cut the words out of newspapers. It read:

"Cough up the rest of the loot, or Mr. Mc Quack Quacks will never see the light of day ever AGAIN."

"They stole your duck plushie?"Axel asked. He knew it meant a lot to Roxas. He gave it to him for Christmas.

"I want him back! But what are we going to do about the pixie sticks?"

"Wait, they took all of the pixie sticks? Even the limited edition sour green apple ones?"

Roxas nodded sadly as Axel fell on his knees, as if he was going to worshiping the broken pixie stick that was on the ground.

"How are we going to get hyper now? What are we going to sniff to get high? Tell me, what?" Axel yelled, yanking on Roxas's sleeves.

"Well, we can always sniff crack, but Saix does and we really don't want to end up like him…" Roxas said, picturing a cross dressing Saix.

"What will we DO?" Axel said, bursting into tears.

Roxas patted him on the shoulder. "Don't cry, Axel. We could always hotwire the Superior's car and get more from the supermarket…"

"But they were LIMITED EDITION pixie sticks," Axel said, whipping away his tears.

Roxas backed away from Axel, put his right hand over where his heart would have been, and looked at the ceiling, as if he was praying.

"Yeah, your right. Should we 'barrow' Mansex's car now?" Axel asked.

Roxas looked at him. "First, lets chance out of our pj's. Then we find the thief."

Axel blinked. "So we're playing detective?"

Roxas nodded. "The Case of the Missing Candy!"

After changing out of there pj's, they came back to the kitchen, dressed as detectives.

"The scene of the crime," Roxas said, examining the broken pixie stick tube.

"What on earth are you two doing?"

Both of them jumped as they heard another voice. They turned to see that it was just Zexion, getting a glass of water.

"What we do is none of your business," Axel said as Roxas looked at the right sleeve of Zexion's cloak. There was some small red dots, or something…

"Well, if you're here, clean up whatever's on the floor," he pointed to the candy on the ground and left.

"Man, doesn't he have anything better to do than boss us around?" Axel said as Roxas bent down on the ground to sniff the red colored sugar.

"Cherry. But why was it on Zexy's coat?" Roxas asked himself.

"There was something on Zexy's coat? Maybe it was blood," Axe said, scratching his head.

"Why would there be blood on his coat?"

"Maybe he's an assassin sent here to kill us. But anyway, why would he steal candy from a kid?"

"Ah come on! He's the third youngest member of our little 'family'. He could be a suspect," Roxas said, putting the pixie stick from the floor into a zip lock bag. "This could be evidence," he said, writing the world evidence on the bag in red letters.

"Okay, we've got one lead. Now who else would be dumb enough to steal candy from you?" Axel asked, starting to pace around the kitchen.

"Do you think Xemnas would do it?" Roxas asked. "I mean, he does hate our bloodly guts…"

"Nah, he and his poker pals have liquor. What more could they want?"

"They want us dead. You know, I think you were right with the assassins in the castle thing."

"Forget that, I was joking. Oh! Lets go to Demyx's room!" Axel yelled.

"Yeah! He could be a suspect!" Roxas said as they entered the hallway.

The two idiots were making their way down the hall as Zexion walked past them.

"Where's he going? Axel asked, seeing how Zexion was in a hurry.

"Don't know, don't care. All I want to do is to sniff my pixie sticks again," Roxas said, knocking on Demyx's bedroom door.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm right here," The Melodious Nocturne said, coming toward them from another hallway (so many halls…) "I just came back from the bathroom- why are you guys dressed like that?"

"Don't change the subject. Did you or did you not steal my candy?" Roxas said, staring at Demyx.

"Why on earth would I steal your candy? I mean, I'd probably be dead if I did," Demyx replied, entering his room.

"Oh, you'd be dead all right," Axel muttered as they followed him inside. What they saw made them gasp. Their candy was on Demyx's bedside table.

"I-It's not what it looks like! I swear, I didn't do it! I was in the bathroom the whole time!" Demyx yelled, backing into a nearby corner.

"A likely story," Axel said, summoning his chakrams as Roxas looked at the candy.

"Axel, stop!" Roxas yelled at his friend, who was inches away from setting a shaking Demyx on fire.

"Thank you," Demyx said, sinking onto his knees.

"Roxas, he stole our sniffing material. What gives?" Axel asked.

"This is defiantly our candy. But, whoever really stole them is trying to frame Demyx, I mean, why would they put it out in the open? The real criminal knew we were on their trail, that might be why they ditched it in Demyx's room, to shake us off."

"Yeah, we're buddies, why would I- you guys sniff this stuff?" Demyx said, sounding really disturbed. "No wonder you two are so crazy."

"Got to hand it to you, you figured it out really well. But, we're back to square one. And we still don't know who did it," Axel said, crossing his hands over his chest.

"Well, I've got nothing to do. Maybe I can help you guys," Demyx said.

"Why not? Um, sorry about almost torching you…" Axel said.

Demyx shrugged. "Whatever. Lets go find those pixie sticks!"

"Okay, so what have you got so far?" Demyx asked as they walked through the halls.

"Well, I saw some red stuff on Zexy's cloak, I think it might have been some pixie stick powder…" Roxas answered, thinking hard about the whole thing.

"Zexy? If you ask me, he's been acting weird lately," Demyx said.

Axel rolled his eyes. "If you haven't noticed, he always acts weird."

"No, like today. Usually I'm always bugging him. But, he's been avoiding me all day."

"Maybe he's trying to get rid of you," Axel said.

"No wait, maybe he's the thief! It all makes sense!" Roxas yelled, running towards Zexion's room.

"He's finally lost it," Axel said as he and Demyx followed.

They arrived at Zexion's room, bursting in without knocking, only because if they did, he would have told them to get lost.

"Hey Zexy! I'm back!" Demyx yelled, causing Zexion to look up from his position on his bed.

"What?" he said, pausing his black iPod.

"What ya listening to, you candy stealing-" Roxas started, about to say something bad when Axel covered his mouth.

"Me? Steal your stupid treats? Why would I do that?" Zexion said as Demyx grabbed his iPod. "Hey Zexy, didn't know you listen to Evanescence."

Zexion turned a very light shade of pink and grabbed his iPod back from the musician. "What do you want?" he said, more firmly.

"Where were you this morning at six a.m.?" Axel asked, letting go of Roxas's mouth.

Zexion blinked. "Why are you interrogating me?"

"Answer the question before they get ugly," Demyx said.

Zexion sighed. "I was here, sleeping."

"What was the red stuff on your coat?" Roxas asked.

"Blood. I cut myself by accident."

Axel, Roxas, and Demyx exchanged looks. Zexion had nothing to hide.

"Fine. But we're still watching you," Axel said.

"Man, guess you'll just have to give up," Demyx said as they made their way to Roxas's room.

"But they still have Mr. Mc Quack Quack's!" Roxas said, whipping a tear away.

"Your plushie? Why don't you just give them the rest of candy?" Demyx asked.

"What candy? We have none, that's all we had," Axel said, stopping in front of Roxas's door.

"What's that?" Demyx asked as Roxas took a piece of paper off his door.

"It's another ransom!" Roxas yelled, holding it out so Axel and Demyx could read it. Again, the letters were cut out from the newspaper.

"You have until midnight tonight or Mr. Mc Quack Quacks will be no more. Meet me at the Alley to Between, and don't be late."

"No! Mr. Mc Quack Quacks! No!" Roxas cried, bursting into tears.

"Crap. We have a deadline now," Demyx said, sighing.

"Damn, what do we do now?" Axel asked, trying to comfort Roxas.

"Give them the candy, I want my duck back!" Roxas said as they stepped into his room.

"But who would do something like this?" Demyx asked.

Axel scratched his head. "Guess we'll have to wait and see…"

That night, the trio set out to the Alley to Between. It was almost midnight, so they had to sneak out of the castle after dinner.

"I still think Zexion did it. After all, he was in a hurry at dinner…" Axel said.

"But why would he do it? It doesn't seem like him at all…" Demyx replied.

"Lets just go. The faster we get there, the faster we get Mr. Mc Quack Quacks back," Roxas said.

When they got there, they saw a member of the Organization standing at the end of the alley, with his hood on. The figure was holding Roxas's plushie by the neck. He pointed a shaking finger to the bag of candy that Roxas was holding, then he pointed to an upside-down garbage can.

Roxas slowly walked forward, close to putting the candy to were the thief pointed, when he heard someone call his name.

"Roxas, don't do it! It's a trap!"

The four turned toward the alley entrance to find…

"Zexy?"

Zexion walked toward them and pointed a finger at the hooded figure. "Reveal yourself before I do it myself."

The figure removed his hood, making Axel, Roxas, and Demyx gasp.

"S-Saix? W-Why?" Roxas asked, not taking his eyes of his plushie.

Saix smiled wickedly. "I hate you, all of you! Hahahaha!"

"Somebody hasn't taken their medicine today," Axel said, surprised at how Saix was the candy thief.

"I'm going to kill you now! Hahahaha!" Saix yelled, getting his Claymore out.

"Is he drunk?" Demyx asked, backing away with everyone else.

"He doesn't smell drunk…" Zexion said.

"Then he's gone berserk," Axel said as they all got out their weapons, except for Zexion.

"I think I like the drunk Saix better. Still, how are we going to get my plushie back?" Roxas said as Saix started walking toward them, an evil smile on his stupid elf face.

"Look, just keep him busy while I get your stuff back," Zexion said.

Demyx sighed. "Fine."

"Charge!" Roxas yelled, with both Keyblades held in front of them.

Axel and Demyx followed, screaming like morons.

"Water!" Demyx yelled, dropping tons of water on the elf man.

Saix slipped on the water, but he balanced himself on his weapon. "Gah!"

"Take this you candy stealing butthole!" Roxas screamed, slamming Oathkeeper and Oblivion onto Saix's head.

"Ow…"

"I'll make it all better, okay?" Axel said, throwing a fireball at Siax's feet.

"Holy shit!" Saix yelled, running into the alley wall and falling on the ground, unconscious.

"Should we do something about him?" Demyx asked as Axel and Roxas high fived each other.

"Leave him there, he deserves whatever's gonna happen to him," Roxas said as Zexion walked up to them.

"Here's your stuff," he said, pushing them into Roxas's hands.

"Mr. Mc Quack Quacks! You're alive!" Roxas yelled, hugging the plushie to death.

Axel and Demyx blinked. Since when was Zexion ever nice?

"Who are you and what have you done to my best friend?" Demyx asked.

"Why did you help us? We deserve an explaination. Now," Axel said as they started walking back to the castle.

Zexion sighed. "Look, I heard something early this morning, so I went to see what it was. It turned out to be Saix, laughing to himself as he walked out of the kitchen. He had a bag with him, later I found out it was candy, your candy. I followed him to his room, where I found out his plan: he wanted to use the duck and the candy to get to you two," he pointed at Axel and Roxas, "He finally decided to get rid of the idiots of the Organization. Demyx was just a bonus."

"Hey! But why'd you help us?" Demyx asked.

Zexion sighed. "I have no idea…"

"That means that Zexy has a nice side! I never would have guessed!" Axel said, slapping Zexion on the back.

"That hurt," Zexy muttered, opening the front door of the castle and making his way to his room.

About Zexy being the third youngest member...it's either him or Larxene 'cause Roxas is the youngest, then comes Demyx (he's probably around 18 or something) then I just guessed that it would be Zexy. If I'm wrong, please tell me. Read and Review!