"Everyone knows you're supposed to hate the game; not the players."


Summary of the chapter:

(…What is Sasuke even saying? Naruto has already lost everything.)


|Trigger Warning|:

unhealthy coping mechanisms
some violence


It's not long before Naruto takes notice of how the night has seamlessly rolled its way in, a mantle of storm clouds stretched over the sky and covering the last of the twilight.

The restlessness clutches him, spreading through every limb like a second layer over the coating of apprehension, and it results in him throwing open the doors of his closet, rummaging inside in a frenzy until he finally finds a dark hoodie. This one has always been too big on him, which is a favorable side effect as he frantically pulls it on, making sure it almost completely covers his face down to his eyes and up to his mouth.

Sasuke is standing right beside him as he gets to his feet.

"Where are you going?" The words are barely detectable and still manage to ring in the silence of the room. His tone is cold stone, but the tension along his jaw says otherwise.

The restlessness morphs into something more urgent, almost venomously so, until it aches in Naruto's chest. For a single moment. Then it turns into something ugly.

The nasty adrenaline is back and in overdrive.

In all answer he opens his arms in the mimicking of a grand gesture, the curve of his mouth is menacing. "You should know by now I've never been good with self-restraint."

The beginning of a frown crosses Sasuke's features and his eyes harden in a glare.

It's the first time since Sasuke made his appearance that he sees anger reflected in him. It's not enough to stop him. Instead it makes Naruto's mouth curl further around the edges, it's bitter and cold and sharp and everything he is not, and is not supposed to be.

In a chopped exhale he suppresses his chakra, ensuring no one will follow him, and in the blink of an eye he has his window wide open. Relying on instinct and physical strength, he runs out.

Humidity is thick but the dampness carried over in between breezes is prickling, almost refreshing on his exposed skin. The shadows of the night bring in camouflage and this time he doesn't even feel the pull in his muscles as he puts one foot in front of the other, racing past a blurred background.


Naruto draws to a stop only when he comes within a couple dozen feet away from a gathering of sorts.

A small crowd is clustered outside what looks to be an abandoned building. They are figures in the distance, barely seen through the weak glow of scarce street lights. But their loud voices roar in the night. Followed by the shattering of glass and the pungent smell of alcohol and smoke clinging to the air, almost like a cloak trapping whoever passes through, a cacophony for the senses.

Naruto has his hands deep in his pockets as he walks over, his steps are soundless but he doesn't go unnoticed for long. A hush falls over them and he falls under their scrutiny.

The animosity exuding from them, Naruto is doubling it.

"Heard they found an unlucky someone near the docks." Naruto opens with. "Pretty nasty incident..." He lifts his head. "...if you ask me." An invitational smirk plays on his lips.

"Snitches end in fukken ditches!" One from the bunch slurs and staggers on his feet, a glass bottle tilting in his slacking grip. Clearly too smashed for his own good.

The rest of them don't bat an eyelid at their admitted incrimination. Slightly ironic, since the drunkard who apparently dislikes snitches is the one revealing information, but Naruto knows the play-act of silence is merely a means to an end—seize him up.

The single outline of a man is hidden in the shadows, with his back hunched against the wall, enfolded in darkness and barely discernible smoke as it diffuses in the chilling air.

"You lookin' for trouble kid?" The man asks after a full minute. There is no heat to his gruff, nearly toneless voice. Taken at value, this is a warning. Advice to stay away, as if looking out for him.

The last bit leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Naruto doesn't need that, doesn't need anyone to look out for him.

(...can't have that anymore anyway.)

Looking for trouble?

Yeah, maybe he is.

A sudden screech tears through the air, and Naruto discovers it's the drunk man letting out a squawky attempt at laughter as he pushes shoulders with the rest and wobbles to the front.

"I ain't got time ta waste on damned punks." He spits out in a sneer, fist raised above his head and ready to throw. "Piss off–"

Naruto ducks down and forward, wind cutting at his skin with how fast his own fist is already plunging into the unsuspecting stomach. This time the guy is spitting out in choked pain, staggering for a moment, then he falls over his shoulder and down the sidewalk, probably unconscious by the looks of it.

None of them seem bothered by the fact, like the guy is nothing more than a fool not worth spending a breath for and Naruto won't either.

He straightens his posture, latching to the previous point of conversation. "Why, you gonna shut my mouth like you did with your friend?"

The cracking of knuckles fills up his ears and the resounding, derisive sniggers charge him. He bends slightly at the knees, muscles locking in place and bracing for impact. Scornful mutters about 'teaching the brat a lesson' ring in the air. One of them is stepping up.

Naruto is already diving in.

While it's all fun and games till it's not, right?

He dodges a punch with ease, and then his own is crashing into the stranger's face and knocking him over. Another one sets to attack him from the side, but before Naruto can even feel the graze of a fist on his skin, his elbow is slamming into the man's nose, breaking it. Swiveling, the heel of his foot drives into someone else's shin, the man goes smashing into the ground.

Someone grabs him by the hoodie and pulls, for a second cutting his air off. But before his next inhale he is already swinging, making contact, and this time his knuckles and wrist come away stained carmine.

The crack of bones is jarring to say the least, only somewhat cushioned by the wetness of blood and the aching groans.

And suddenly he is the one knocked back.

It's the first hit. And he feels nothing.

Naruto bites down on the rising panic and answers in kind, ramming a punch into the nearest jaw that has his arm and shoulder almost quivering after.

The second hit leaves his cheek blazing.

A tangy taste spreads inside his mouth and he spits it out. Along with the crimson droplets, glinting whiteness tumbles into the ground, a molar. He runs his tongue over the gaping, swollen heat in his gum. His smirk stretches, it pulls at his skin, and he wipes the drizzle of blood with the back of his hand.

"That's all you got?" Naruto crows.

Tempers flare faster than a raging fire and energy tears through him, a static so strong he swears he can feel his veins burst with it.

"I'll show you what I got." Someone grunts from behind him.

The back of his head and neck alight with a gush of pain, so sudden it jolts down his spine and zings through his extremities, he feels the pulses of it in his fingertips. Naruto loses his footing, his body starts losing tension.

And out of the corner of his eye he sees Sasuke.

He is standing to the side, unmoving, like an observer. His features are still cross with chagrined coldness.

The ache in his chest is sent ablaze, an outright divergence from the tangibility of the hits he is starting to feel on his skin.

Lips pressed thin, Naruto grits his teeth and drives head first into the nearest body, throwing all his weight into the fight, and the raging and pained screams only serve as fuel to the fire.

Everything is moving fast around him, a little too fast and for an instant his line of sight goes muddling. But Naruto blinks the haziness away, steadies himself. They try to reach for him, but a vehement electricity is coursing through his body, keeping him on his feet, pushing him harder.

Naruto stops trying to discern faces in the dark. He jabs someone in the ribs, throws a kick in front of himself and someone else goes barrelling down.

Apprehension climbs back up his throat, unsettling enough to have him stall, leaving himself open. The next hit has him stumbling a few steps and warmth trickles in, until he realizes the wet trickle down his chin is his own blood.

Soreness creeps in, throbbing beneath his skin, beneath the numbness that has overtaken him, flaring, but the sorrow inside his brain is threatening to overwhelm it. And he can't allow that to happen.

So when they manage to grab him next, successfully detaining him, Naruto doesn't do much to dislodge himself from the hold.

He's not sure if the pounding in his head is the hammering of his heart or his brain shaking in his skull, but he is unrelenting, with arrogance splashed across his face as proof, and it seems to aggravate his opponents all the more. Strike after strike, his back caves in and he bears the brunt of it.

Solid, stark pain starts kicking in. And that's when he stops fighting back.

Somewhere along the line time begins to slow and his eyes close. His knees grow too weak to hold his weight and he is left to fall to the ground.

The battering continues, the kicks pile up and some contorted, writhing part inside Naruto feels like dissolving into laughter, and he does, because he got his way in the end.

His awareness falters and it takes him longer than it should to realize the blows have stopped raining over him. Winded, he breaths in, only to have his chest constrict. His inhales and exhales are mostly strenuous gasps as he blinks bleary eyes open.

He senses a presence next to him, before a hand is yanking on his hair until his head is tilting up. His sight is unfocused at best, but Naruto knows this is the smoking man who stood aside during the whole thing, he doesn't seem like someone who would dirty his hands in a scuffle with a kid. The man is saying something to him, but Naruto doesn't hear.

His head lands against the concrete surface once more and he barely glimpses the drunkard getting scraped off the ground, and then their small crowd is leaving. Naruto doesn't blame them, if he was in their shoes and their punching bag broke out in a laugh instead of breaking in pain he would probably tire of it too, even freak a little about it. Or maybe they decided to spare him out of pity.

His vision clears enough for him to take in the far out blue. Inhaling hurts in a distant sort of way and his breaths come in and go out stuttered.

Naruto's laughter is dying down and he thinks he might feel broken in places no physical pain can ever reach.

A crisp stillness draws out and draws in his mind, so delicate and faint it's as if the whole world drops under it, falling concealed.

His body grows lax and a lulling silence spreads up in his head. It's peaceful, even.

This next presence he doesn't feel, but he sees.

"What did you do?"

Sasuke makes the question sound disheartened, like it's something terrible, something to be saddened about. But Naruto doesn't have it in him to answer. He is not really thinking anymore, and somehow he is overthinking at the same time.

"...what, not gonna taunt me..." Naruto gives a half-hearted, humorless snort in the back of his throat, only to have his lungs spasm on him, coughing out saliva mixed with blood. "...about l–losing to them?"

"'Losing?'"

Sasuke's lone figure is contrasting and at the same time blending into the looming night, but his features grow gradually clearer once he steps forward, until he is crouching down in front of him.

"If it's a game you're playing at, then you're the only player here."

Naruto could swear Sasuke's eyes gleam a dash of fire red in the distorted, macabre moonlight behind him and for the split of a second the sky is oozing crimson like an open wound.

"And it's precisely why you will lose, Naruto..." Sasuke utters under his breath, face closing off, downcast. "...you will lose everything."

Naruto is the one to break the stare this time as, with half-lidded eyes, he turns to look up at the darkened mantle of storm clouds. A drop of blood slips from an open cut on his cheekbone and makes its way from the corner of his eye to his ear, leaving a trail behind like a tear track.

The strain of a smile dims on his face, until it disappears.

(...What is Sasuke even saying? Naruto has already lost everything.)