Sorry for not updating for so long...blame it on school.
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts
A Tale of Two Idiots
Chapter 8
Ghosts and Bunnies
In a cave, a few miles away from The Castle That Never Was, two small figures stood, facing each other as the storm outside continued to rage.
"So let me get this straight," a small, squeaky voice said, "you want me and my army to aid you so you can destroy those pathetic morons at that weird castle?"
"He, he, he," the other figure said. "That's the freakin' plan. So are you interested?"
"Well, why not? We did try to kill them once, but we failed," the squeaky voiced animal said, starting to laugh. "Muhahahahahaha!"
"He, he, he, he, he, he, he," the demented toy said, and they continued to laugh has the thunder crashed, revealing a crazed bunny and a revenge seeking Furby.
"Man, will this rain ever stop?" Axel asked, staring out the window as another roll of thunder was heard. "Hey, Roxas, did you hear me?"
Roxas looked up. "What? Oh, yeah, I heard you."
Axel looked at his beat friend. "Are you sure? You've been really quiet since we killed that demon from hell last night."
Roxas sighed. The "demon from hell" was a demented Furby that Roxas had found on the doorstep the day before. And when he and Axel found out it's secret, it threatened to kill them with a missile launcher. But Vexen had walked past and killed it, then the two idiots cremated it. They drowned it, while throwing fireballs and stones at the box it was in.
"If you're thinking about that Furby, just forget it already! It's swimming with the croc in the lake. Ain't no way that thing could've gotten out of that damn box. We stole that tape from Larxene, and it stick to anything and everything," Axel said.
The thunder crashed again, and Roxas felt a chill run down his spine. That thing's still alive. "I guess your right. Hey, lets go see what Larxene's doing," Roxas said, trying to change the subject.
"She's probably making more Voodoo dolls, but still, we could try to torture her…" Axel said, walking down the hallway with Roxas at his side.
"She'd probably enjoy it though," Roxas said, his mind somewhere else.
The two idiots walked up to Larxene's door, hearing someone laugh inside.
"A little bit of this, and some of bat wings…muhahahahaha! Some crap of a lizard…an egg of a dragon…and a dragonfly…muhahahaha! My master piece is almost done! Muhahahahahahahaha!"
"What is she doing in there?" Axel asked, walking slowly away.
"I don't want to know…," Roxas said, putting his hands over his mouth. "But whatever it is, it is defiantly something gross."
They decided that whatever Larxene was making was probably going to be used against them, so they went to Axel's room to play some video games. But, the lights went out. Again. Oh boy, they were gonna have fun that night.
"Larxene, I command you to beat the living shit out of the generator this instance."
"You're not my mother Saix. And for that matter, go fix it yourself you dirty bitch!"
"Why I never- ouch…"
Axel sighed. "Morons," he muttered under his breath as he brought out one of his chakrams. "Why don't they just ask nicely?" he wondered to himself as the chakram burst into flames.
"I've seen the light! And it burns!" Lexaeus yelled out, shielding his eyes and running away.
Roxas sighed as a burst of thunder crashed, making him fall backward, shaking.
"What's wrong? You okay?" Axel asked as Roxas stared at the window in horror.
"I-It's the demon from hell…t-the evil Furby…it's come to kill me!" Roxas yelled, yanking Axel's cloak.
Axel was really confused. Didn't we put it out of it's misery yesterday? "Roxas, you're seeing things," Axel said, trying to comfort his frightened friend. But it wasn't working.
"Axel! I know what I saw! It's shadow was in the window! And it was laughing. Laughing like Larxene when she's killed something!"
"Okay, okay. I'll go out there and see if that monster is out there, okay?" Axel said, feeling like a parent telling his kid there is no such think as a monster in your closet. But he's wrong, Very wrong. There are monsters in people's closet. And they party like it's the last day of their lives. Back to the story.
Roxas nodded, a little afaird of being in the hall alone while Axel went to check for the crazy Furby. It wants me dead. He wants my dead body so he can eat it! Roxas thought, thinking of all the times when he stayed up until midnight with Axel to watch horror movies.
Roxas took a deep breath. That's the last time I'm watching horror movies…'cause now a evil Furby is out to get me in my sleep! Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! He ran around, panicking, when the front door opened, revealing Axel, who was dripping from head to toe.
"You're alive!" Roxas yelled, hugging Axel, who stared in shock at the Keyblade bearer.
"Roxas-" Axel began, but got cut off as he heard laughing…
"Peak a boo…HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Both keyblade master and pyromaniac looked up to see the Furby and all it's stupid glory sitting on the window ledge. Blood red eyes stared down Axel and Roxas. There were scars on it's eyes, and it's feet were muddy.
"Hello…friends…do you want to play with me?" It said, smiling like a bank robber who was getting ready to mug someone. Or nobody, depending on who you are.
"Roxas?"
"Yes?"
"On the count of three."
"Okay…"
"THREE!"
They both ran through the hall as fast as lightning, which was still crashing to the gound just outside. They ran into the first room they saw, which unfortunately, was Larxene's. But they don't know that…and it's best that they don't.
They stepped inside, suddenly realizing what room they were in. They tried going back out, but the door locked itself, and they were trapped.
They both gulped, looking at Larxene, who hadn't even noticed that they were there. Dressed up like a witch, complete with hat, broom, and robe, she stood next to her big pot, mixing something. Now they had all the reason to call her "Larxene the Sadist Witch."
"What do you two want?" she asked, finally looking up from her bubbling pot.
"W-We're hiding from a murderous Furby," Roxas said, staring at the large pot with fear.
"So we'll be leaving soon," Axel said, backing up against the wall.
Larxene made a face. "Furby you say…I used to have one when I was younger."
"Did it cuss like a dirty sailor man?" Roxas asked.
"Yes, we used to have so much fun."
"Did it carry nuclear weapons?" Axel asked.
"We used to create atomic bombs in my basement."
Axel and Roxas stared at each other, mouths hanging on the ground. They never though that Larxene actually created nuclear weapons before. But now that they knew, they were scared. Very scared.
"So…what brought up that question?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest.
"W-We're being chased by a Furby, and it's trying to kill us!" Roxas shouted.
"You speak evil Furby talk, so go out there and tell it to leave us alone!" Axel yelled as they heard the Furby getting closer to their hiding place.
Larxene sighed. "What do I get out of this?"
The two idiots looked at each other. They weren't expecting that.
But they didn't have time to answer, because the door fell down, and from the smoke, the Furby emerged.
Larxene gasped. "Evilbutt?"
The black-and-blood-red-eyed Furby stared at the sadist, it's face forming a smile. "Hello, Learen."
"I go by Larxene now," she replied, also smiling. "What brings you to my neck of the woods, Evilbutt?"
Axel and Roxas stared at Larxene, then the Furby, then at Larxene again. "You know this thing?" Roxas asked.
"Didn't I just tell you that I used to have a Furby?"
"I didn't think that the demon from hell was yours," Axel said as the Furby gave him a death glare. "But it makes sense."
"Shut up," it said, then it turned back to Larxene.
Larxene smiled in remeberence. "I remember it like it was yesterday…I got you for my 13th birthday…we were friends so fast. Cussing at little children, blowing up trash cans," she sighed, "it was the life…until you turned on me." Larxene glared at the evil toy. "You were going to kill me in my sleep, but I woke up just in time to catch you in the act."
"B-But Larxene," it said, stuttering, "you don't know what those evil scientists did to me. They kidnaped me when you went to school, and reprogrammed me. They wanted me to kill you."
"Larxene! For the first time in my life, from the deepest part of my heart, DON'T LISTEN TO IT, IT'S EVIL!" Axel yelled.
"It's wants to kill you again!" Roxas screamed.
"One, you don't have a heart, and two, why would it want to hurt me? And I never did like scientists, I never did like Vexen either…" Larxene said.
"Yes, why would I kill her when we can kill you two?" the Furby said, turning toward Axel and Roxas.
"Shit," Axel said, as Roxas yanked on the doorknob. "It's stuck! There's no way out!"
"You got that right," Larxene said, taking out her knifes.
Axel looked around, trying to find another escape route. "Roxas, the window!" Both ran past Larxene and Evilbutt, I mean the evil Furby. They quickly jumed out the window and landed on the wet grass. The rain was still pouring heavily as they got up. Thunder sounded again.
"Lets get inside before we get electrocuted!" Roxas shouted so he could be heard through the rain.
"By who- Larxene or the storm? Whatever, lets go!" Axel yelled. Above them, they could hear Larxene cussing at them.
They ran through the front door, stumbling through the darkness.
"Die you bastards, DIE! Muhahahahahaha!
"What is that?" Roxas asked as Axel took out one of his chakrams to light the hallway. They walked into the living room where they saw the Organizaton members fighting off small, cute, fuzzy, and adorable little bunnies. Oh yeah, the rabid bunnies were armed with AK47's. And they were winning! Muhahahahaha-cough-hahahahaha!
"Holy fucking shit…" Axel said, mouth hanging in pure shock and surprise.
"Oh my god," Roxas said. "It's an invasion of rabid bunnies! Run for your lives!" He started running around in circles.
Axel grabbed his shoulders and shuck him. "Snap out of it!"
"Okay…but what do we do about them? Plus we have to evade Larxene and her evil toy! What do we do?" he burst into tears.
No more sugar for you. While they stood there, the Organization members were fighting off the evil bunnies. Xemnas and the leader bunny were having a face-off.
"I'm the better leader you rotten ecuse for flesh and bone!" Xemnas yelled, deflecting the bullets from the AK47 with his light saber things.
"You are an idiot, and you have no heart! But I do! Muhahahahahahaha!" the black-bunny-with-red-eyes said, in a very squecky voice.
"Why you stupid-" Xemnas yelled.
Demyx, however, was hiding behind a couch, hugging his sitar for dear life. "Please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me, please don't hurt me!" he muttered, rocking back forth as bullets and flower petals missed his head.
Saix was in a corner, drooling like a dog that had rabies, holding his claymore and in berserk mode. The bunnies were running away from him, screaming their cute little heads off.
Roxas was still panicking. "What should we do? Hey, where's Vexen? He's not fighting the rabid bunnies!"
Axel suddenly got an idea. "That's it! He could help us!"
Roxas looked at Axel, really confused, as he dragged him through the dark halls to Vexen's room.
They made it, banging on the door as if their lives depended on it.
"For the love of- oh, it's you two," Vexen said as he opened the door.
"Help us!" They cried as they heard Larxene yelling.
"Where are you two! I just want to play a little game…"
They gulped and dove into Vexen's room, slamming the door behind them.
"I don't know what this is about-" Vexen started.
"Cut the crap old man,"Axel said.
"I'm not old."
"Vexen, we're in serious shit! Rabid bunnies have gotten into the castle, Larxene is acting like a sadist bitch again, and the Furby you killed yesterday? It's come back to haunt us!" Roxas yelled, going hysterical again.
Vexen scratched his chin. "This is serious…"
"You only just realized that?" Axel shouted, all of them hearing Xigbar and the bunnies having a shooting match in the hallway.
Vexen sighed. "Alright then, follow me," he walked into his closet with Axel and Roxas close behind him. They went all the way to the back of the closet, where Vexen opened a door, after typing in a few digits into a electronic lock. They all walked in, going down a small flight of stairs. They reached another door with another electric lock, and after opening that, they all stepped into a room.
The room was fairly large, about the size of Xemnas's bedroom. There was a small layer of mist on the ground, giving the room an erie feel. It was cold, with potion vials and tubes lining the walls and tables. There was a cupboards labled "dangerous", "toxic", "failed", and "finished". Vexen walked over to the one labled "dangerous" and opened it, searching through vials that were also labled.
"Hm…lets see…no, not this one…maybe another…?"
"Make up your mind already!" Roxas yelled hysterically as Axel shivered from the cold.
But Vexen didn't seem to hear him. (Dumb old guy, took so freakin' long to beat…). He grabbed another vial, took a long look at it, and nodded. He took the lid off, put a sprayer thing on it, and handed it to Roxas. "Spray the bunnies with this."
"What will it do?" Roxas asked curiously.
Vexen smiled like the evil mad scientist that he was. "You'll find out soon enough."
Roxas looked at it for several moments, and handed it to Axel. "You go take care of the rabid bunnies. I have a score to settle with a certain demon from hell."
"B-But it's bad enough that those bunnies have machine guns, that thing might have nuclear weapons! It'll kill you!" Axel yelled out.
"It wants me, so I'll kill it myself." With that, Roxas left the underground lab.
"How touching," Vexen said sarcastically as Axel raced out, chakram and potion in hand, to stop the AK47 carrying rabid bunnies.
"Hey, Evilbutt! Larxene!" Roxas yelled out, standing on small hill that was outside. It was still pouring, so Roxas had put his hood up. After getting out of Vexen's lab, he found the front door wide open. And the footprints leading out looked like Larxene's.
"Show yourselfs!" Roxas yelled again as more thunder crashed down.
"He, he, he, he, he…"
Roxas looked in front of him, only to see the Furby a few feet away.
"He, he, he…" it said again, smiling.
I really don't like the way that thing's smiling, Roxas thought, backing away a little.
"He, he!" this time it pulled a missile launcher out from behind it's back. "Guess what I have…"
Xigbar's favorite weapon? "Let's settle this!" Roxas yelled, pulling out his two Keyblades.
"Suit yourself," it said, launching a missile at Roxas, who ducked just in time.
"Where's Larxene?" Roxas asked, just now noticing that she wasn't there.
"She isn't avaible right now, please leave a freakin' message, he, he, he, he, he, he, he!"
"We hated her, but that doesn't mean you had to kill her!" Roxas yelled, slamming a keblade onto to the Furby.
"Who said she was dead?" it said, shooting at Roxas, who managed to avoid them again.
"No more games," it said, aiming at Roxas.
Meanwhile, Axel ran around the castle, spraying the bunnies with the potion that Vexen gave him. As he sprayed them, they froze, stared blankly at the ceiling, and started running around in circles, crying out hystrically. And running into walls. And screaming bloody murder. And leaving the AK47's on the floor, where Xigbar picked them up greedily, while muttering "Your daddy's new favorite weapon, ever since my missile launcher went missing."
Axel fell onto the living room couch, tired after spraying all the rabid bunnies. "I…I hope Roxas is okay with…with that demon thing," he said, catching his breath. Vexen walked up to him, grabbing the empty potion vial. "You used it all! How much did you spray on the bunnies?"
Axel rolled his eyes. "Apparently a lot since they screamed their way out of the castle while screaming bloody murder-" The front door burst open, and for one second Axel thought that the Furby had won.
"That thing is as dead as Saix's brain," Roxas said, taking his hood off.
"Good lord, you're alive!" Axel yelled, hugging Roxas to death.
"And I'm gonna be dead if you keep hugging me like this," Roxas said as Axel let go. "Sorry buddy."
Vexen rolled his eyes and turned around to go to his room, muttering something about making more of the potion that Axel wasted.
Larxene climbed through her window, landing on her hard bedroom floor. "Curse that thing! CURSE IT!" She got up and pulled a voodoll making kit out from under her bed. "It's entered a world of hurt now, and if it thinks its gonna be safe in hell, it better think again." She pulled out a couple of materials, and started laughing like a murder.
I tired to put dividers in to divide the scenes, but when I put on the internet, they always disappear to who knows where...well, anyway, hope you enjoyed, read and review please!
