but you know with one step forward darling, we've taken two steps back (II)


Summary of the chapter:

This is not him being casual about it. It's just force of habit.

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"Naruto?"

"Yeah?"

"Not that I want this heart to heart to be over–" Sasuke leans a tad away, squinting his eyes at him as if studying him. "–and don't take this the wrong way, but you look really high right now."

Naruto blinks up at him. And snorts.

Sasuke backs away a little further, glancing around the room. "You're not hiding any drugs in here, right? I know that's edgy and all but it's not really part of your brand."

"Please." Naruto dismisses with a lethargic movement of the shoulders.

Sasuke's grin widens a little. "I see your innate sense of justice still prevails over everything else."

But the deliberate choice of words has Naruto unpleasantly snapping back into alertness, like he has just woken up from a strange, formless dream.

"Ow."

He takes hold of his now aching head in both hands, vision swimming as he tries to regain a sense of the present.

"What the..."

And then notices Sasuke a few inches away from him.

Suddenly very aware of the close proximity, Naruto tries to put as much space between them as he can now that his neurotransmitters are apparently kicking into gear again, though the space in question isn't collaborating with him and if he gets back a little further he might just fall into his bathtub.

"W–What the hell are you doing here?!"

"You don't remember..." Sasuke trails off in apparent confusion, then he is practically shoving a hand in front of his face. "How many fingers am I holding up right now?"

Naruto 'shoos' the dangling appendage away, though careful not to accidentally touch him to avoid feeling...emptiness where Sasuke's skin should be. Alright, that's a pretty creepy thought to have at the moment. "Get your hand out of my face."

"That's not really an answer, but hey, I'll take what I can get." Sasuke's airy tone however flakes out as he rests both elbows on his bent knees, eyes shifting down. "What's wrong?"

Naruto glances down, at the smeared redness of his forearm where he dug his nails in, and another wave of nausea greets him into wakefulness. He doesn't want to have another repetition of this morning, even if it was infinitely easier with Ino than it is with Sasuke. He keeps his eyes locked on the floor. "I just...tripped."

Yes, because tripping would leave marks like those. He's almost anticipating a rebuke, since it doesn't look like Sasuke will let it go. But he does.

"Maybe it's because you haven't eaten anything lately, did you think of that?"

Naruto sees the given chance for what it is and tries to stray further from the unpleasant topic and steer toward the slightly easier one. "So if I agree to eat something...you'll leave me alone?"

"For the next ten minutes? Yeah, sure."

It's actually hard to tell if Sasuke is being serious or not. Naruto narrows his eyes at him. If Sasuke is being this annoying on purpose then—wait, this is Sasuke, of course he is being annoying on purpose.

"...Yeah, yeah, okay." Naruto agrees reluctantly and without energy, pushing up on his elbows, and for the second time this day gets to his feet with a little more effort than necessary.

"...What happened anyway?" It seems important to ask, even if he is not sure he wants to hear the answer. Or if it will be an answer at all.

"You really don't remember?" Sasuke looks almost dejected, before his gloomy expression does a 180° turn and he's shifting closer again, voice dropping low. "And here I thought you would keep our intimate conversation locked in your heart forever."

"W–Wait what?!" And Naruto is promptly shifting away again, incredibly nervous about the new information. It can't be true...right? Right? "You...you're just making fun of me..." He states rather unsurely.

"Am I?" Sasuke questions cryptically, obviously enjoying teasing him, much to Naruto's chagrin. "Now hurry up and take your shower, I'll wait outside. Oh, and don't take too long, I get bored easily."

And he ups and leaves, leaving Naruto flustered, confused and with a gap in his memories.

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After the much needed cold shower, Naruto is standing in front of his locked bathroom door. He takes a deep breath in, slowly letting it go. He can do this. He has faced way more dangerous situations, having to face Sasuke—or, well, his ghost—is practically a joke after an apparently 'intimate' round of conversation he has no recollection of—not that he believes that to be true really, it's nothing to be so hung up about.

With a minuscule shake of the head he finally unlocks the door and steps out, doing so quickly before he can change his mind.

"Did you think up a menu or can I just eat an apple and we call it a day?" Naruto asks, a bit unwilling and a bit jokingly, not as opposed to the idea as he might have been before.

But he is met with silence.

A light frown mars his features and he resolves to go check his room, thinking his 'guest' is waiting for him there.

"...Sasuke?"

He doesn't find him. Almost unconsciously he goes to inspect every single room one more time, but Sasuke is nowhere to be found. He is the only one standing here, inside his silent apartment.

A hollow, crushing sensation Naruto has only come to associate with loneliness before seeps under his skin.

He is glad, really. It's all that he wanted, to finally be left alone and in peace.

Almost on autopilot he turns toward the kitchen, thinking about their talk and taking a step in its direction. Then takes a step back.

It doesn't matter. It's not like he really planned to eat anyway, he's too drained to be hungry.


Naruto is just a little fretful to be meeting up with his team, thinking up ways to elude Sakura's perceptiveness on the way there.

But upon seeing him, she doesn't seem to catch sight of anything out of the ordinary.

"Hi."

"Hi." She greets with a smile, as always, though it is slightly apologetic. "I wanted to drop by yesterday, but I was held back at the hospital."

"S'fine, I slept the day away." Naruto tells her, easily dancing around the truth. "What's the schedule for today?"

Sakura loops their arms together, walking with him, Sai is on his other side.

"Nothing major, let's just take it easy today."

"Sakura-chan, you read my mind."

She laughs and Naruto's smile comes out a little less forced this time.


Ten hours later find Naruto sitting before the cobblestone pathway surrounding the entrance to Kiba's house. The other boy wasn't home when he got here but that's not an issue at all since he's used to wait for him by now, this isn't a first occurrence either.

His mind has been running in endless circles and he is in need of a distraction, pretty badly if he does say so himself. In the waiting, he numbly counts the cracked little stones laying by his feet apart from the ones caved in, kicking at them and raising dust, only to watch the dust particles float away and hear the light thud the fragments of rock make on impact.

Naruto raises his head from his crossed over arms once he hears footsteps approaching and sees his best friend walking his way.

"Bad day?" A known carefulness is hiding behind Kiba's words.

'Yes.'

"Not really." Naruto says in response with a slight, gauntly tilt of the lips. "Just felt like hanging out."

Kiba is soon talking again, something about his mom not being home for the night and Akamaru being away with his sister, but there are black spots skipping across Naruto's vision as soon as he stands up and his attention is fading in and out of the conversation. Pretending nothing is out of order however, he takes his sandals off too, following Kiba who leads the way in.

Once they're in his room, Naruto makes a beeline for the bed without further ado, letting out a contented breath when his back and backside finally come to rest on top of something soft instead of the hard, cold ground he feels he has recently gotten acquainted with on one too many occasions.

"You want anything to eat?" Kiba asks, the ever attentive host.

"Nah, I ate a while ago." A while ago being two days ago, but Kiba doesn't need to know that.

"To drink?"

The corners of Naruto's mouth lift up in the same way children's do when they know they are about to get surprise candy from their parents.

"Milk."

Kiba lets out an amused huff. "Dude, seriously, what's up with you and milk?"

Naruto lets out a little laugh, patting one of the pillows and leaning back on it. "Shut up. Milk is awesome."

"I'm surprised your bones aren't made of steel with how much of it you drink."

"Who knows, maybe they are?"

"Sure they are, superman."

While Kiba goes to retrieve his favorite beverage, Naruto busies himself with stretching a hand to the side and taking hold of one of the comics he had started reading the last time he was here.

His friend returns with a small, clear bottle of crisp white liquid. "You're lucky I bought a bunch of these just for you."

Even if he gets often teased for it, he knows Kiba buys these regularly and has them stored in his fridge because this brand is Naruto's favorite. And he can't help but find the gesture thoughtful every time, probably because he has never really been on the receiving end of many thoughtful gestures in his life.

"I've told you already, you're my second favorite person in the world."

"Who's the first?"

Naruto gets hold of the cold glass bottle passed to him, taking a sip and immediately sighing in exaggerated joy. "Sakura-chan, 'course."

"Good thing Shino is always at the top of my list." Kiba jabs playfully back.

Naruto grins. "Fuck you."

"Oh-uh, your name is dropping dangerously low on my list. Keep that up and you'll reach the bottom in no time–"

But Kiba doesn't expect for Naruto to reach behind him and throw the pillow at his face, drawing a laugh out of him as he springs into attack and they both fall out of the bed in the resulting wrestling match.

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"...Okay." Kiba declares, winded. "Let me get the sitch right. You don't feel like sparring, or playing any kind of game, or even talking. But you're good with taking my bed for yourself and reading my comic."

Naruto makes a 'din din din' high-pitched noise, much like they do in game shows. "You chose the correct answer." He replies, eased back into the bed as if it was his and slowly taking in every drawn page, the small bottle of milk now standing empty in the corner of the bedside table. "Congratulations, your prize is my company."

"Well, I'm gonna have to ask for a consolation prize then."

"Well, I'm gonna have to ask Sakura-chan to kick your ass then."

He gets a grimace at that.

"Woah, woah, woah. Let's not get ahead of ourselves now, that's one scary prize right there."

Naruto hides a snicker while skimming through the pages.

"So." Kiba sighs, with his hands on his waist and a 'no-nonsense' voice in imitation of his mother. "That leaves us with only one option at this point."

"Which is?"

"Scoot over, I'm taking a nap." And Kiba throws himself beside him, making them both bounce in place. Good thing his bed is similar to Naruto's own and wide enough for two people to comfortably fit in.

Naruto lowers the comic down to his cheekbones. "Seriously, how can you sleep any hour of the day?"

"It's almost seven." Kiba remarks in a way that makes his nap time sound like it should be nothing if not obvious.

"Yes, exactly, it's almost seven." Naruto points out in his same tone.

"You know how old people always like to sleep early."

"Dude, you're sixteen."

Kiba lifts his head enough to look him straight in the eyes and utter in a slow, philosophic sort of way—most definitely imitating Kakashi now, "...I'm an old soul inside."

Naruto deadpans. "Your idea of having fun is seeing how many noodles you can inhale through your nose before you need to go to the hospital."

"Don't give me that. We literally share this 'fun hazard', as Sakura likes to call it." The boy lowers his voice, as if conspiratorially. "Between you and me though, I think she means that in an insulting way."

"No." Naruto acts shocked. "You got that from all the times she has said out loud and in front of us that it's the most disgusting thing she has ever seen?"

"I don't know man, when she looks like she's about to throw up? Yeah, that right there makes me think it's her favorite pastime."

They share a look and manage to keep an impassive expression. Only to crack two seconds later, and though only Kiba is fully cracking up Naruto can't help a little chuckle himself.

"Also, my record is thirty." Kiba has the need to announce afterwards, referring to their 'fun hazard'.

Naruto scowls lightly. "No, it's not, it's twenty-nine."

"Heh, that's yours, weakling."

"Whatever, I'll beat you next time, loser."

Kiba wiggles around in bed until he finds a nice spot, purposefully annoying to get a smile out of him, until he is finally lying stomach down while Naruto is on his back. His breathing is already evening out, he must be tired, Naruto thinks.

"...Say." Kiba mumbles, somewhat loud enough to be heard even if his eyes have already slipped close. "You heard about the incident near the docks?"

Naruto goes rigid at that, not expecting this subject to be brought up, not to mention last night's memories also getting conjured up in his head. But he has no bruises and blood on him anymore, and if Sakura didn't notice it, there is no way Kiba will, no matter how sharp he can actually be.

The thought sends his mind at rest and his breathing doesn't stutter as he speaks in a quiet, level voice. "Yeah."

"Poor guy got almost drowned, they found him barely breathing and pretty much beaten to a pulp." Kiba continues, voice losing the playful edge and taking more of a low, somber note to it. "You've got any ideas on who might have done it?"

Naruto thinks back to the cold, hard ground he slept on, thus, thinking of the bunch he also got acquainted with last night, still feeling the ghost of the aching blows through his skin. He ends up disclosing what he had first thought after finding out about the news. "He was probably part of a gang. They're pretty vindictive if one of them just ups and leaves, right?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought. Maybe he wanted a way out, probably gave out info to get them caught or something."

"And look how that ended." Naruto denotes, sullenly.

Kiba lets out a faint bout of laughter in the back of his throat, though without any sort of humor trickling behind this time.

"Man, is it just me or is the world kind of going to shit?"

'Tell me about it.' Naruto thinks bitterly, but forces a small smile in lieu of it. "That's so positive of you."

His friend cracks an eye open. "Look, I like optimism as much as the next guy. But I want to see proof of it too, ya know?" And settles down again, yawning in his pillow.

"...Yeah." He agrees in a hush as he too settles back in the other. "You're right."

Kiba falls asleep almost instantly and Naruto is left staring at the ceiling. He doesn't go back to reading just yet, not sure funny vignettes in a comic can keep in check the turmoil inside his brain. Even if the warm upper arm pressing against his reminds him he is not alone, at least at the moment.

"Definitely too casual about this whole thing."

Naruto blinks with a start, craning his neck to find Sasuke beside him.

"...You're here." He comments tensely after a full ten seconds of staring at each other. "Again."

Sasuke's mouth quirks in a smirk, hands drawing up as he shrugs his shoulders. "I'm here."

Naruto scoffs soundlessly, mindful of Kiba resting beside him. "What do you want." It's not even a question, he just wants the day to be over and Sasuke to get as far away from him as it is humanly possible.

It's just so much easier that way.

He doesn't bother answering, but the way Naruto is being scrutinized makes him want to crawl away and crawl out of his skin altogether.

"Maybe I was wrong about you." Sasuke utters lowly and his mostly edgeless smirk sours. "...You do know your way around lies, after all."

From his peripheral, Naruto keeps his gaze steady, stone-cold. As if to get back at him. As if to try and hurt him right back. "Guess so."

But there is something else Sasuke is wrong about.

This is not him being casual about it. It's just force of habit.

After a while the tears dry off, the pain numbs down and the emptiness puts the brightest flames out. After a while you're lucky if you can still feel your heart beating inside your chest.

(And Naruto's luck has been running out lately.)


Ino opens one of the new doors that leads into a new room of the still renovating hospital.

"Hey, it's not your turn today?" Sakura asks with slight incredulity in her tone, but nonetheless glad to see her.

"Oh, so I'm not welcome here." Ino pretends to take offence, turning back and calling over her shoulder. "I guess I'm leaving."

"No, no, of course I'm happy to see you." Sakura grasps her arm and pulls her in a hug, drawing a chuckle out of her.

"Rough day?" Ino asks once she pulls back from the bear hug.

Sakura answers with a saccharine smile. "Tell that to the wonderful patient who threw up on me today."

Ino's nose crinkles and she clicks her tongue. "Well, there goes my dinner."

They both laugh, falling into easy chatter soon enough.

"And how long have you been here already?" Ino brings up, a little curious.

"Mmh, just a couple of hours, I think."

"Ah-uh. And what about this morning?"

Having been caught, Sakura averts her eyes for a moment as a bit of an ashamed smile comes up. "I didn't have anything to do?" She tries with.

Ino stares on, flatly, sounding just a little condescending. "Sakura, honey, people don't go to work at three in the morning, outside of their actual working hours, because they 'have nothing to do.'"

Sakura raises an eyebrow at her and matches her tone. "Ino, darling, if you already knew about it why are you asking?"

She sends her back a look.

"Okay, okay, it's not a big deal." Sakura quickly adds as a way to placate her. "I couldn't sleep, alright, so I decided to drop by earlier. Way earlier. I'm just...spending my free time in a productive way. Yes." She nods confidently to herself.

Ino lets out a long sigh, exaggerating a bit for show and emphasis. "You work too much. You know that, don't you?"

Sakura tucks a stray lock, fallen from her loose bun, behind her ear, smiling at her best friend. "I work just enough."

Ino rolls her eyes, though affectionately so. "Sure, whatever you say."

Although this particular topic is not as lighthearted as she would like for it to be. But today she isn't here to discuss Sakura's overworking habits, Ino has a specific reason why she dropped by.

"...Sakura?"

"What is it?" The other girl asks back distractedly, sparing a glance at her as she writes something down.

Although her specific reason to drop by now doesn't sound as simple in essence as she had thought it to be in her head. Ino had been so sure in the morning that she would tackle this matter with Sakura. But now, being face to face...her self-assurance is wavering.

And, after a moment more of hesitation, Ino closes her mouth again.

"No, nothing important." She denies quietly a moment later.

Sakura gives her another smile and she returns it, before her friend is called over by one of the medic-nins. Sakura is already hyper-focused on the job, even if the darkness around her eyes and the slight hollowness of her cheeks makes it clear she has not slowed down enough to properly eat or sleep.

Once she has her back turned to her, Ino's face falls along with her smile. She can't tell her, she will worry herself sick about it and Ino can't be the one to add yet another weight on her shoulders, not when Sakura is already working herself down to the bone as a way to overcompensate.

Then what else can she do about it? It's not the first time she has taken notice of it now, but today's proof was too overwhelming to just be another mere coincidence. Ino might have a pretty good hunch as to what is going on with Naruto, and if she turns out to be right...that would be downright heartbreaking.