Chapter Three

Huh. Did I make a wrong turn?

It was early morning. The sun hung low in the sky and casted soft shadows through the branches. There was no path or obvious man-made structures on the ground. It was like this forest was completely separated from human intervention.

Man, whoever is in charge of keeping this park orderly did not do a good job.

I had decided to spend some time over in New York city because I'd always been curious about Central Park. Especially when I learned that the park had no admission fee.

Birds chirped and I took a deep breath of fresh air. I relished the feeling of not being in a claustrophobic city. It was something I needed to do more often.

As I was exploring the beauty of nature, I stumbled upon a fairly large clearing. There were hastily made tents and a lot of junk. My mood soured instantly.

Homeless. I get that the issues with homelessness lie more with mental health and not home availability, but it's really not a good sight to see. Especially in a major park like this.

Turning on a dime, I started making my way back when I heard a shout behind me. "Hey! How did you get here?! Intruder! Intruder!"

Sighing, I turned back around to stare at a man with a ridiculous forestry getup. The cloth was made of rough materials colored green and brown. Just glancing at his attire showed it was a small breeze away from tearing. He even had a strange twig crown.

Out from the tents came an assortment of teens in varying costumes. Some were in simple rugged clothes while others followed along in the weird hippie/nature cosplay.

Just great. This is a camp of homeless, larping, teenage runaways and their creepy middle aged guardian.

I tried to not outwardly cringe when one of the young girls started posing with a bow in hand. "I am Barrow Ivy! Rank 14 of Lost Garden and the greatest archer in the precinct!"

Drawing back the string, the girl who definitely didn't know what a precinct was let loose a few arrows. Batting the first few aside, I caught the last one and saw a strange purple substance on the tip.

"I know you're really into this escapism thing you've got going on, but isn't the pretend poison a bit much?" I snapped the admittedly well carved arrow and tossed it behind me.

Another teen, this one covered in cloth and leaves, thrust his arms outward. "You don't know anything!"

"I am Barrow Petrifite! Rank 12 of Lost Garden and greatest pitcher in the district!"

Dodging to the side, I watched as he pulled his arm back and launched several stone shaped leaves. He tried again and again, but he had a better chance of hitting me with real leaves.

"Nice party trick. Although, you should remember to stay humble and always strive to be better than the you of yesterday. Anyone can throw rocks after all." I grabbed a smooth, flat rock and lightly tossed it at a tree.

It zoomed past all the members and dug into the trunk. The small explosion of wood chips caused one of the members to let out a shout.

A fierce looking girl stepped into the fray. She seemed to be the oldest of the group, not counting the weird middle-aged guy.

The crowd whispered around us, doing a poor job of keeping quiet. "It's Barrow Pollen! Rank 3 of Lost Garden!"

Her eyes narrowed and her leafy cloak billowed. The teens began to back away as a yellow-orange cloud of dust erupted from the girl.

I only raised a brow as the cloud spread out. As though hearing my unspoken question, the girl spoke up. "This is my power. A hallucinogenic cloud of spores that is sure to send anyone who breathes it into a spiral. Your arrogance will be your own undoing."

"Power, really? You guys should know when to stop the act. Especially you. Aren't you nearly an adult? There's a time for fun and games, but this isn't it. You're being a poor role model for these impressionable kids."

The girl's eye twitched as she waved her arms, pretending to move the spores. I couldn't even imagine the time it took to collect all that. That sort of dedication could've been put to better tasks.

Hold on, if her character name is Pollen, does that mean all these spores are pollen as well? Uhg, I don't have any tissues on me…

My nose scrunched up as I got a good whiff of the pollen. I took a deep breath through my mouth and squeezed my eyes shut.

"ACHOO!"

A sudden wind overtook the clearing. I opened my eyes to see where it came from, but it was already gone by then. Whatever it was, it cleared up all the pollen, which I was grateful for.

Raising my hand to rub my nose, I nearly gagged in surprise and covered my eyes instead. "I know we're not in public, but show some decency! That's so gross…"

Several paces ahead of me was the scraggly middle aged guy. For some reason, he was butt naked with some pieces of stray cloth hanging on his shoulders.

One of the girls screamed and the whole group rushed away from the clearing.

Naturally, I ran as well.

Once I was out of the forest, I allowed myself a breather. I was definitely going to file a complaint to the park once I figured out how to do that. In the meantime-

My track suit had a large tear on the side. Damn. One of those kids must've nicked me when I wasn't looking. It's fine, I guess. Been meaning to get this repaired.

oOoOo

Pushing open the glass door, I entered the quaint little establishment. Behind the counter was an older man with a thick, bushy mustache. As soon as he spotted me, his eyes widened.

"Oh, Saitama! How have you been?"

Smiling, I walked over to the man. "I've been alright. But things could be better." I set my worn and torn tracksuit on the counter.

"Hoh… I'm impressed that it's still holding together," he said as though he wasn't the one who fixed it in the first place. "Was it a strong villain?"

Shaking my head, I patted the clothes. "Not this time. Just regular use and a group of troublesome kids."

Humming, the man started to examine the tracksuit closer. "It's not too bad this time. I should be able to fix it tonight. Although… it will take a while. You should come by tomorrow to grab it. You have better things to do than keeping this old man company."

"No need." I pulled a stool over and plopped down. "If I left now, I'd just go home. And it's not like my home's going anywhere."

"Whatever you say, kid. Green tea?"

"Thanks."

The stool creaked as I watched the draper methodically guide the needle and thread. He moved steadily and swiftly, years of experience revealed by his care.

"So, have you finally decided what your hero costume will be?" I gave the old man a questioning gaze. "Don't give me that look! You can't run around in that tracksuit forever."

Turning my eyes to the floor, I started tapping my thigh with my finger. "I guess I have a good idea-"

"Then why haven't you shown me yet!" His words surprised me and I looked up to meet his stare.

Maintaining his gaze for only a moment, I broke away and checked the ceiling. "It's just… I don't know. I say I'm a hero for fun. Doing it all as a hobby. But even then, I don't think I really fit the title of a hero. Not yet."

"You idiot…" The draper grumbled under his breath. Clearing his throat, he spoke up. "I don't know a single man more dedicated to being a hero than you. If anyone declares otherwise, they clearly don't know what they're talking about. That includes you, Saitama."

I chuckled, melancholy washing over. "Most dedicated to being a hero, huh?" I would have to disagree. A certain caped baldy could easily knock my 'dedication' down a hundred times over.

"Well, you better give your idea to me soon, because I'll be retiring in the near future." Casually announcing a bombshell, the old man continued fixing the cloth.

"What- retiring! You?!" I nearly fell out of my seat over the news.

The draper chuckled in turn. "Yep. This old man can't work on forever, now can he? Besides, business has been stagnating. At the moment, you're one of the few regulars I get nowadays."

"Used to be better, but things haven't been the same since the Typhoon family was driven out. Who knows what that crazy gang is thinking."

Leaning forward, I ignored the knowing twinkle in the draper's eyes. "Crazy gang?"

"Yep. The group called the Teeth. Most people think of New York when the Teeth are mentioned, but there's a smaller group here. No capes though, so don't get your hopes up you battle maniac."

Adjusting my shorts and collared t-shirt, I turned to face the door. "You know where these guys are?"

"Something like that." I heard the draper get to his feet. "But before you go, take an umbrella. Forecast predicts snow fall and you're clearly not in any position to stay dry."

"If you say so."

My soggy shoes trudged through the snow. My breath puffed into the air like massive clouds. Street and car lights glittered across the floating crystalline droplets.

Most people walking around were covered in clothing. Be it jackets or quilts. I had the distinct (dis)pleasure of having a broken heater, so I was already used to wearing little in the cold.

Nobody paid attention to me though. I wasn't complaining, but it made me wonder what was worthy of attention in this city.

Villain activity. Probably.

Following a map with a distinctly drawn indicator, I slowly made my way to an innocuous warehouse.

Each step was followed by the sound of 'shlump, shlump' and I was beginning to worry that I'd ruin my shoes.

Picking up my pace, I finally reached my destination.

It was a warehouse alright. A big one with equally big doors. I decided that instead of bursting in there with all the gusto in the world, I'd try to scout the area out first.

And by scout out, I meant climb up the outdoor ladder and peak through the window.

Once I was up there, I got a good look at what was inside. My brows rose and I pressed my face against the glass, periodically wiping away the vapor.

Wow, looks like this is a meeting or initiation of some sort. There's at least twenty members in there!

Standing inside the sparsely filled storage space was the so-called 'Teeth'. To no one's surprise, the members wore teeth. And bones. And other edgy tribal looking clothes. I was sure there was an offensive joke somewhere in that.

The leader, who was clearly the most charismatic of the group, leapt onto a table and was waving her arms around. Whatever she was saying riled up the crowd, who started imitating her motions.

Suddenly, the woman went still and shortly after, the crowd as well. Very slowly, the leader reached behind her and pulled… something out.

Blinking, I rubbed my eyes and then the window. Despite that, I still couldn't make out what she was holding. All I could really say was it was small and presumably ugly.

Refocusing my attention, I watched as the leader lowered herself into a crouch and held the thing in front of her. One of the many members took a step forward and accepted the item.

I frowned as I watched the man consume the mysterious item. He jerked in place and convulsed. His skin turned into a rough leathery texture and he grew twice in size. The skull he was wearing melted into his skin and seemed to become one with him.

"Ew." Grimacing, I checked the other members, who were backing away in excitement or fear.

Turning back to the man, I was met with glowing red eyes. His bone-skin-face creased into a facsimile of a smile.

Damn-

Glass, bone, and leather pressed against my face as I flew head first into a nearby building. Choking on the dust, I dug myself out of the brick and plaster. I rubbed away the blood that nearly obscured my vision.

The massive figure leapt down from the window and sunk into the snow covered concrete. It lumbered forward with an awkward gait—unused to the changes to its body.

Coughing one last time, I brought my fists up and tensed my legs. Recognizing my readiness, the monster rushed forward, hopping like an inexperienced astronaut.

His thick, bony fist passed over my head as I slid beneath. I threw a series of punches that indented or cracked the leathery skin.

With a labored grunt, the monster punched the ground, leaving a massive crater. I slipped down and barely dodged a meaty kick. I grabbed the leg and used it to throw myself upward. Gravity quickly took hold and I landed on the monster's outstretched arm.

My joints creaked from the exertion, but I was given no time to rest. The monster tried to shake me off, forcing me to jump onto its shoulder.

Its eyes shot open at the sight of my fist speeding towards its face. A sickening crunch echoed from the beast as my knuckles dug into its armored skull.

"arHRHGHRAHRAGH!" Faster than I could react, the monster slapped me off its shoulder. I landed on the sidewalk, cushioned by the snow.

Gazing up at the impressive monster, a rushing excitement overtook my body.

This is it! A monster that can truly push me to the limit!

Ever since I'd begun my training, the most I'd dealt with was petty criminals. And on very rare occasions, a parahuman.

But this guy. It was strong. Certainly stronger than Crablante. If it took traveling out of state to find these kinds of opponents, then I needed to do so more often!

Smiling, I beckoned the creature with a jaunty sign. It grinned in turn. The monster launched forward and punched. I caught the fist with my arms and chest. The impact reverberated through my body and it felt as if I would explode.

Blood leaked through my teeth as I matched the monster's viscous leer. Despite my injuries, energy seemed to pour through my entire being.

"My turn."

Sliding off the massive fist, I pictured the monster's motions in my mind. I mimicked the actions as close as I could, seeing the distribution of power through the movement. Somehow, the creature began to sweat.

I punched.

Air was torn asunder and cracked like thunder. My fist reached bone and the bone yielded. Viscera, guts, and gore both expanded and evaporated. The street was painted in crimson goo.

The monster gurgled, looking down at the beach ball sized hole in its chest. Then, it fell over. Dead.

A moment of silence went and passed. I threw my fist to the sky and screamed.

"YEAHH!"

The exhilaration eventually faded and clarity took its place. The smell hit me like a truck.

Uhg… I need a change of clothes. And a shower.

With the battle high behind me, I headed back to the draper, picking up my fallen umbrella along the way.

It took a bit of convincing, but I was finally able to head home after meeting up with the old man. Apparently, coughing up blood was 'detrimental to your health' or something like that. As if I didn't deal with that during the start of my training.

But, with a fixed tracksuit and a graciously provided bath, I made my way home in the dead of night. By the time I reached the apartment, the sun was beginning to rise on the horizon and the birds were starting to wake up.

I stared at the collapsed pile of ash, cinder, and burnt bricks in the place of my apartment.

At least I don't have to worry about rent…