(Author's Notes – Well, here I am, Chapter 4! Thank you, thank you, thank you to my lovely reviewers, whose feedback I appreciate immensely!
As someone was concerned – Belle St. Croix is going to come back with a vengeance in the next chapter, I promise. And it will be funny. I promise! I hope the events chronicled in this one make up for her inestimable absence. So, without further ado, Brokenspar presents Chapter 4: In which Laura returns to Port Royal and behaves in a compromising manner which will come back to haunt her.)
Laura found herself standing in front of James a full fifteen minutes before she had defied space and time to visit the authoress. Without warning, but expecting it this time, she found herself in his embrace. No knock interrupted and they stood there for a good, long time.
"James?"
"Hmmm?"
She tried, or started to say, "Shouldn't we go down to dinner?" However, she never quite got there, for Laura had tilted her head up to speak more clearly, just as James had tilted his down to hear her more clearly. The result of which was that, accidentally, of course, their lips met halfway.
And, of course, both of them should have backed away from it immediately, indeed, propriety demanded it. Laura blinked but stood rooted to the spot. In fact, they were both rooted to the spot, exhibiting the phenomenon which occurs when one touches an electrical current – one cannot move, or step away. Laura knew this was wrong, but had, at the same time, never felt anything so right in her entire life. And though she knew not what lay in James's heart, at least concerning this very startling development, he had not backed away either.
When the unlikely couple did part for air it just happened, through absolutely no volition of either party, that they kissed again. And again. Until she found herself with her back pressed against the wall and behaving in a very inappropriate manner with the aforementioned Commodore Norrington, and, despite her better sense, had to admit to herself that though she had never kissed a man before, the experience itself was pleasant. What she should have been wondering about was not how he was so good at it, but rather that this was getting too far rather too quickly.
Because very soon thinking was rendered useless, and when she again regained her right mind, she was in an even more inappropriate position – in bed, with the same man asleep on her bare shoulder.
Laura could remember virtually nothing of what had happened before, but as realization dawned, she panicked. She, Laura Bell, was in bed and had … done the deed … with James Norrington – Commodore James Norrington, the pride of Port Royal and a man who had risen above her through his merit, absolutely infallible and god-like in the eyes of the public, a man recently, that day, heartbroken. She wanted more than anything to believe that he loved her, but she feared that this was a dreadful mistake brought on by the stress the two of them had endured. What would he say when he woke up? What would she say? What if … What if she, Laura Bell, an unmarried woman, was with child – with James's child?
Modesty demanded … well, modesty was almost useless now. Her reputation, should this be kept a secret, might survive – so long as she was not with child – but her virtue, her character, what kept her hopeful when her life could not get worse, was absolutely, irrevocably gone!
And even in defiance of her panic over the situation, she began to toy absentmindedly with his hair, however improper that was. Laura wanted to fall asleep, into oblivion, but knew she could not, for she had to face her wages, even as he began to stir.
"Laura?"
When James woke, she – her face – was the first thing he saw. He had no idea how he'd gotten there, given the last thing he really remembered was the accidental kiss, and now he, James Norrington, Commodore James Norrington, was in bed with his oldest friend, Laura Bell, one of the kindest, gentlest, most innocent girls in Port Royal, a girl on the edge of spinsterhood and poverty, and by merit of his actions had robbed of any chance at a good marriage.
Starting up from her shoulder, he was unable to face her, the woman … girl, really, though she was twenty four … he had wronged, hurt so terribly.
"Oh God, Laura, what have I done to you?"
She certainly didn't know what to say to him, only that relations between the two were irrevocably ruined. She would never be able to speak to him again, and she would discover she was with child and of course she would never be able to uproot her mother so she would have to bear his child in Port Royal and be forever banished from society and ruined.
"It's both of our faults."
"Why didn't you stop me, Laura? Don't answer that, never mind, I know you and I know full well why. You thought this would help me – you've never denied me anything, and now you've handed over this without question. Why, Laura? Why?"
"Why did I let it get this far or why have I always been so generous towards you?"
"The latter will explain both."
This was it. Though she felt it could only wound him, he had asked her and expected her honesty.
"I'm afraid my answer will only cause you pain."
"I deserve nothing more."
"I don't want to hurt-"
"Laura!"
"James," she said softly, still watching his back, "Look at me. I want to face you when I say this. I've always been your closest friend and nothing more, but," she took a steadying breath as he finally looked at her, "I have, will always, love you. For twenty years now, there has been but one ambition in my head, and it is an impossible one. I could never make you happy as a bride, that you made clear, so I strove to do so as your friend – you don't know the joy your smile gave me! I tell you this only because I know you cannot possibly return my feelings, but you expect my honesty and you must know, then, that I love you."
Laura and James remained, gazes locked for silent eternity until she could bear it no more. She turned away, wrapping herself in the sheet despite the heat of the night. Without willing anything she felt a snap and a slight tear began to drop down her cheek. She didn't know what she was hoping for anymore – a release from the shame and pain, perhaps – certainly she could not hope for redemption, not after this.
And, as was the norm in Laura's life, she did not get what she wanted.
She got something better.
Strong arms, his arms, enfolded her in a protective embrace, one holding her against his chest and the other stroked her hair and brushed away the solitary tear.
"Please don't cry, Laura. You know I can't stand it when you do. I'm sorry – can you forgive me? Please don't cry. Please."
She stopped long enough to look up at James, who would never, ever be hers.
"I'd be lying if I told you I didn't love Miss Swann, Laura."
Laura almost started crying again, and looked down.
"But I'd also be lying should I say that I didn't love you as well. When I first saw you, Laura," he whispered as he tilted her chin up, "after that ten year absence, I almost asked you to marry me on the spot, but I misjudged you. I thought you could not possibly bear affection for a man you had not seen in ten years.
"Maybe, and I do tell you in all honesty, I have loved Miss Swann better, but it was because you were always my friend and gave no indication of wishing more.
"And I realize I do this partly out of duty to you, whom I have wronged, but I do so because I do love you as well. Laura, will you marry me?"
She found herself thinking this was all a dream, but no! James had truly asked her!
"I will, but James! We must speak of this to no one! This incident, we must forget it occurred!"
"Have no fear, Laura."
She threw her arms around his neck and felt a single, light kiss on her cheek. The night had grown colder, and the two found their way back into a shirt for him or a chemise for her. As she blew out the last candle and moved to go back to bed, she heard a voice in the dark.
"Laura?"
"James?"
"May I … that is … would you mind if … I stayed the night?"
"You shouldn't have to ask."
And so it happened that Laura Bell fell asleep easily for the first time in years, cradled against her beloved James, as he, too, drifted off.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Quite a distance away in time, space and reality, Brokenspar took a casual sip from a mug of tea, glanced at the computer screen, and gasped.
"No way. It can't be back!"
