Lee was never sure if Kara came to him in the middle night out of love or loneliness until the day she slipped into his bunk and her left hand brushed against him without the noticeable feel of cool metal on warm skin.
Lee was never sure if Kara came to him in the middle night out of love or loneliness until the day she slipped into his bunk and her left hand brushed against him without the noticeable feel of cool metal on warm skin.
This had started out as a way for her to cope with going to Caprica and coming home with the Arrow and a fading memory of the ex-pyramid player who gave his life to save her from the farms.
Lee had seen Kara lose it before, but it had never been this bad. Somehow he knew if she hadn't had him down on the surface of Kobol, she wouldn't have made it through. She would have done something stupid and given up her life for the greater good. He could still remember that look of desolation that came across her face when they sat shoulder to shoulder under the stars of Kobol, cleaning their guns. She didn't really talk a lot, and Lee wasn't going to push her. Pushing only made her lash out.
By the time they returned to the Fleet, her hardened shell was back in place to cover her pain. Lee could still see right through the brave facade. She was just biding her time. The second she thought he and the Old Man were okay on their own, she would be doing something stupid like a suicide Viper run straight into a basestar.
Kara was always crazy like that.
Lee made it through two hours of ignoring her twisting and turning in the bunkroom that first night before he gave up pretending like he didn't care. He slid into her bunk, and without a word, he held her until the crying stopped.
He must have done something right that night because the next night she didn't even attempt to sleep in her bed. She just pulled open his curtain and demanded he scoot over.
The following morning, Lee used what little pull he had as the CAG to gather the senior officers that bunked with him and Kara. "Listen up, people! Starbuck's going to be sharing my bunk with me. If I hear one of you giving her shit or even mentioning it, your asses will be mine." Lee shot them a knowing look before stepping out of the room. He had flight schedules to run through.
They didn't speak much during the day. They were too busy in their roles as Starbuck and Apollo. At night, the masks disappeared and they didn't have to pretend that they were okay. They could be vulnerable.
That was when the words finally came.
It started out as the little things. Lee would tell Kara how he was worried his pilots were getting too sloppy, and she would give him suggestions about how to keep the little frakers in line. When that felt comfortable, they moved into the harder topics. She would give him glimpses into what the farms were like and how having Anders there had made it a little easier. He would explain what it had been like to see his father getting shot and knowing he may never get out of the brig cell to say goodbye.
It wasn't an answer to their problems, but it gave Lee an idea about where he could begin.
Lee spent the little amount of free time he had coming up with ways to give Kara purpose in the Fleet. He kept throwing requests for remedial classes for some of the pilots he worried about and made sure to keep every class of nuggets full. He didn't want her to think for a second that she wasn't a vital part of this Fleet.
Lee's greatest fear was that she would just slip away, right through his fingers and out into space.
He never told her that.
There was one topic they never breeched at night, and it was the most obvious one. Lee never asked Kara why she kept coming to his bunk even after the nightmares stopped.
Because they did.
Even though they didn't know it, the nightmares stopped the second she finally finished telling him what happened to her on Caprica. She had reconciled herself to the sacrifice Samuel Anders had made for her, and she finally understood the importance of that small, significant gesture.
Lee had been running late after one of his CAP assignments the night he finally found out the nightmares were gone. The Chief needed his opinion on whether a few wrecked Vipers could be used in Kara's flight instruction classes so he had put in a few extra hours. Lee knew he couldn't shrug his responsibilities this time, so when he got to the bunkroom and found Kara already fast asleep, he was relieved. For one agonizing second, he had imagined her thrashing in bed, trying to find peace without his help.
The reality was a lot better. She looked so peaceful sleeping there that Lee couldn't bear to slide into the bed for fear of waking her. He sat down on the metal floor by his bunk and just watched her sleep. Something pulled at his heart from deep inside. She had slowly and surely become his world over the past year.
He probably would have sat there all night if she hadn't turned over to blink at him in a sleepy haze. Lee felt himself smile as his name fell from her lips and she asked him what he was doing. "Nothing. I was just taking off my boots," he lied.
"Come to bed," she said, moving towards the wall of the bunk.
Lee slid out of his flight suit as quick as he could and got under the covers with her. It was only until after he had settled in with his arm tucked tightly around her that he realized she hadn't stirred once. There was no heart wrenching whimper or worrying twist of the body. There was no sign that she had been doing anything but dreaming happily away of a time before the Cylons destroyed their lives.
He knew that he should tell Kara that she wasn't having nightmares anymore, but he couldn't stand the thought of losing this one little piece of her that he had all to himself. So he held his tongue and hoped she would forgive him when the time came.
Time seemed to speed up once he knew that Kara was going to be all right. The Pegasus came to the Fleet, and things got hard again. He almost died, but Kara was there for him when it mattered.
Lee had been given a data recording of the ship comms that day as a get-well present from his pilots. At first, he didn't understand why he would want a permanent reminder of the sound of his ship blowing up and the dead echo of the comm channel he refused to use. Hot Dog had just given him a funny look and told him he needed to listen to the thirty-ninth minute. Curious, he had gone down to the planning room right away in order to listen to the recording. His face filled with confusion as Kara's voice filled the empty room.
"Listen to me, Dee. If you do not get a Raptor out there to Apollo's position within the next ten seconds, I will personally rip your head off your body when I come back to Galactica. Lee is not allowed to die."
Yea, Kara was definitely one of the main reasons he was still alive today. Lee still had no clue how she hacked into Galactica's comm channels from her Pegasus Viper. Her threat to Dee's life was appreciated, though, as a sign that she really was back to normal.
In the end, he was almost glad the Blackbird blew up because without that moment, he probably would have lost these nights of solid sleep. They were still stationed on the Pegasus so Lee didn't have enough pull to keep the pilots from talking about the two children of William Adama who also shared the same bed. The consequence of that was instead of coming back to the bunkroom to find Kara already sleeping on his pillow, he came home to an empty bunk.
It only stayed empty for an hour or two, just long enough for it to be safe to move without anyone noticing. He would be just drifting off to sleep when a soft arm would come around his waist as Kara spooned herself against him.
Things were different, though, and they both knew it. Kara had stopped coming to him at night because she needed him a long time ago. Now she came because she thought he needed her.
She was right.
They started to confess to each other at night again. Lee told her what it was like to be floating helpless in space, and she told him what it was like to be stuck in a Viper when she knew he was floating helpless in space. She helped Lee understand why he had given up his will to live for those precious few seconds and why she was happy to know he had failed. Lee apologized for breaking her bird, and she forgave him under one condition. He had to help her build a new stealth ship the first second they got.
So life had continued on like always.
Until tonight.
Until she slipped into the bunk and Zak's engagement ring was no longer on her hand.
His fingers threaded in hers as he held her hand up to his lips. She didn't need to say what this meant. He already knew.
