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Chapter 34: The Mare
"Runa. Runa, we have to go."
"Runa. Oh thank God you're okay."
"Why does she… Why isn't she - Runa?"
"Runa."
So many voices calling my name. So many hands reaching out and touching me, clawing across my worn skin like sand sticking to wet skin. Eric's shoulders rolled sullenly as I drifted away from the shelter of his arms, brushing through the crowd of my family and friends to the gravel road. I could feel his eyes tracking me, his body tense, watchful like an animal being dragged away from its home.
But I couldn't stop moving. Couldn't stop the way I flinched away from every scrape of fingers along my face and shoulders.
My body gave out next to the desecrated remains of Maryanne, blood the color of tar and consistency of slime coating my kneecaps and calves. The moonlight caressed the satin of her gown strangely, like a lover trying to embrace her. It was odd seeing her like this - reduced down to bones and blood, laid out on a gravel road in the middle of nowhere. A creature that had taken over an entire town in a matter of days whittled down to trash discarded on the side of the road.
Just behind me I could feel Eric's hands reaching, trying to pick me up off the ground, his voice soft in my ear even though I couldn't catch the words.
"Don't you fucking touch her," Sookie hissed from somewhere behind me, Tara shadowing her steps. "Not after you left her like that."
A low growl erupted from the darkening night, Bill's eyes widening from the other side of Maryanne's body. He was clutching his arm…
"Left her in the hands of her family," he snarled, looming over the much smaller girl, his eyes glowing in the darkness, muscles rippling in his shoulders. "The people that were supposed to protect her-"
"Don't you dare-"
Words blurred together incoherently, my eyes dragging back to the mush that was left of the maenad. I had been thinking that it was odd how Bill had been crumpled across from me but now-
"FIGHT BACK!" I could feel the vulnerable skin of someone's throat between my skin like a toothpaste bottle being squeezed.
Pain so sharp it made me gasp lanced through my face as I slapped myself, hard and quick. For a moment, my mind was blissfully silent, redirecting to the pain.
"Runa?" Someone was touching my face, tilting my chin back. God, it made my skin crawl. The feel of warm flesh against my -
Bile rose, nearly overpowering me as I scrambled away, mud packing under my nails. Cool night air chilled my clammy skin, making the sweat at my nape feel like a wet towel. Coming out of Maryanne's spell felt a lot like coming down from a drug high, crashing and rolling, trying desperately to get my bearings and thoughts in order. My eyes jumped from one person to the next - Jason standing just beside Runa and Tara, looking at me like I was about to dig my hands into the dirt and offer myself up as the next sacrifice, Bill who was breathing heavily, clutching at the bloody mess of his wrist, Sam looking tired and drawn, completely nude, his right side drenched in Maryanne's blood.
And then there was Eric - Eric. His eyes had softened, the fire eating away at his irises calming to warm waters as he moved slowly toward me like a trainer trying to calm a wild mare. "Andedräkt, kärlek."
Sookie stepped in front of him, blocking his progress as he tried to step around her.
Her teeth bared, glinting softly in the streetlamps. "Don't go near her."
"Sookie-" Bill started, his gaze wary as it darted from where I was huddled, still trying desperately to keep down whatever content was filling my stomach and the silently raging mass of Eric Northman.
His eyes had gone a shade lighter than blue, the silver becoming more prominent as he glared down at my sister. Whispers of golden hair had fallen into his face, caressing the aggressive tilt to his brows. And all I wanted to do was go back to that time in the hotel room when he had told me to wait. When his skin had been cool and strong beneath my lips and I had only had to worry about one
"There's a good reason why I haven't tossed you across this road and that has entirely everything to do with Runa-"
"Don't you talk to her like that you blood-sucking-" Tara's voice fought for dominance against my brothers as he roared out threats, the sound of boots shuffling and snapping growls, clueing me into the crush of bodies behind me. And how much they wanted to tear out Eric's throat.
White fingers and blue lips flashed across my mind, making the next words tumble out of me like dice let go too soon. I couldn't hold them in anymore. Couldn't stop the crush of people crowding my mind, all of them gasping-
"I - there's people -" In front of me the darkness of the forest blurred, swirling into a mammoth shadow, looming, ready to crush me. "People - people - one in the living room, two around the side of the house. Another - another in my bedroom." I squeezed my eyes shut, fighting against the nauseating flash of the mare's face, her lips parted in a desperate inhale. "They're - Dead."
That wasn't right. The silence made me force my eyes open, turning so that I could see them all once more. Gods, even looking at them made me want to curl in on myself. Claw my own skin off just so that I wouldn't feel so dirty. It was Sookie and Jason's faces broke me, tore me to shreds and forced the first sob from my lips. Like they were hoping that I wouldn't say what I was about to say. Like they were watching someone fall off the side of a cliff in slow motion, clumsily trying to grab for them.
Pain, sharp and consuming constricted my lungs, squeezing down until each breath came in short and shorter bursts, the oxygen going nowhere as I tried desperately to drag it in. Eric was there before I could blink, his eyes pinched, mouth tight as he hauled me back into his chest, pushing away the wild mess of my hair from my face. I hated the way he looked at me. Like he understood - As if Bill and him were the only ones on this gravel road who understood what it felt like to take away a life, to watch it be dragged away from a body like a string being slowly unraveled.
Gods, they could, couldn't they? Bile burned at my tonsils, the tears feeling cold against my heated skin. Monster - we were monsters.
"I killed them," I whispered into Eric's neck, feeling his muscles roll around me, his whole body tensing. He didn't say anything, listening as I felt another sob rack my body, my small body quivering like a leaf in his arms. "I killed people."
"Oh my god," I heard Sookie whisper somewhere behind me, her hand flying to her lips as Tara recoiled. My brother and sister had gone white as sheets, their eyes glassy.
"Jesus," Jason croaked hoarsely. His hand scrubbed down his face, muscles rolling as he turned away. Away from me.
Sam's eyes were downcast, something about his features seeming oddly downcast even though he was soaked in Maryanne's blood. Would I have been able to kill her? My stomach rolled at the notion of one more person's blood dyeing my skin. Eric's fingers rubbed along my back, his chin pressing to the top of my head as he kept me close to his chest.
"Maryanne made people do things they wouldn't normally do," Sam murmured suddenly, his words soft as firefly light in the inky night.
"You weren't yourself, Rune," Sookie breathed and Jason pressed a hand roughly to his mouth, nodding. But there was something in the way that they were looking at me. Something in the way that their hands trembled.
Something that reminded me of my younger self. Of how easy it had been to kill when I was a child. And how they had been there when I had done it the first time. How it felt like they had always been waiting for the moment I would do it again.
Unable to keep my gaze any longer, she turned to the others, murmuring something about getting the people still left at our house home. They didn't wait for us to follow as we made our way woodenly back to my house, stepping onto the debri ridden porch. People were clustered in the front yard, picking themselves from the dirt and muck in confused silence. My teeth ached with the sudden burst of fresh fear, the re-establishment of consciousness.
Sookie's eyes caught mine front across the yard as Eric moved silently beside me, pausing at our open door until I murmured, "I invite you inside, Eric Northman."
Silently, his hand reached out, trailing along my skin in almost reverant thanks.
Blood was splattered across the living room in strange patterns, twigs and leaves and every manner of debri collected in our once clean house to make it look like a lackluster nest.
"This is your house." Eric stated blandly, looking around at the mess and chaos, the naked body curled into the far corner by the fireplace.
I stared blankly, trying to collect whatever shred of levity I had processed before this night. Before my hands had squeezed down-
I shut my eyes.
Had I always been a monster?
Rough words brushed along my ear, low and lilting as he spoke to me in Swedish. "There's more blood on this property than at my club right now. The maenad made more than you do horrible things."
The words sunk like stones beneath my skin. It should have been enough… Maybe it could have been enough -
"I killed a mare, Eric," I breathed into the strong line of his neck as I replied in Swedish as well, watching as a nerve twitched in his jaw once and then again. "One of my own."
I deserved punishment. My skin burned with the thought, festering line an open wound. I deserved to burn for taking so many lives. If Maryanne had controlled the humans that was one thing. But I could remember everything. Every moment of debauchery, every look and glance and words. I would have given anything to take away the memories. Anything…
"There will be punishment." I had never been more certain of anything in my life. His fangs made an audible click as they came down, a low snarl contorting his face as he stared down at me. "Soon."
His teeth flashed dangerously in the moonlight. "It took them a week to send even one mare-"
"Soon." I whispered, keeping his gaze. Spider's feet scuttled along my spine, tiptoeing up my nape like old friends looking to burrow into my hair. I had never felt anything more clearly. Felt the press of eyes on me as this moment, the ticking of a clock that I alone could hear. Eric cursed foully, his shoulders rolling in barely leashed rage.
"We'll leave," he said after a moment, standing abruptly, keeping me plastered to his front as he brought me with him. "We can go to where Godric-"
"They'll find me."
His nose wrinkled, lips curling back in fury as he stared down at me. "How would they-" His eyes abruptly strayed to the inverted crown branding my throat, a sick realization coloring his face. His adam's apple bobbed, his hold on me slackening and then loosening once more before he let out a string of profanity. His body vibrated with the words, stalking away to snarl it to the woods before stalking back, one hand delving to tug at his hair. "We can - we can fight-"
Words bubbled up and died on my tongue as I stared up at him. My beautiful viking vampire. His face was contorted, shoulders rolling as he came up with a plan that would probably include him ripping out every single one of my sisters' throats and letting me drink their blood as an offering. He would do that. In a heartbeat, he would…
"Kiss me." I couldn't tell him that the collar was already starting to burn, an odd buzzing starting in my ears like a swarm of bees that I couldn't see just yet. I couldn't tell him that I didn't think that there was any way out. Couldn't tell him that even though I wanted to fight, I also...didn't. Because I couldn't get that final burst of dying fear off my tongue. Couldn't stop thinking about their hands reaching out and squeezing around my wrists as they- "Kiss me."
Those blue eyes sparked, the deeper blues cast by the darkening night looking like the sea dotted with a million shimmering silver fish. He was beautiful. Everything I had dreamed of. I got up on my tippy toes as he waited, clearing conflicted, pressing a short kiss to the corner of his lips.
"Runa-" he snapped, whatever he was about to say, giving out on a groan as my lips caught his bottom lip, nipping at him.
"Kiss me," I breathed onto his lips, fingers tugging at his neck, drawing him down to my level a bit more. His hands circled my waist, reminding me of how big he was, how safe he made me feel. "Please."
It took one second for Eric to give in, one word to send his lips crashing down into mine, one big forearm wrapping around my lower back, lifting me to his lips with barely any effort. His breath coasted along my tongue, cool and startling before he was devoruing me. His arm pulled me closer on a deep groan, molding our fronts together as his tongue stroked along mine. And Gods, I wished with everything that I ever had that I could drag him down to the dirt and let him do all the things we had dreamed of this last year.
One massive hand went to my thigh, lifting me until I had no other choice but to wrap my legs around him or fall. He let me breath on a low growl, one palm pressing against my ass until our hips molded together-
"Well, isn't this lovely." Ice poured over every nerve, jarring me into cold tension. The voice was reedy, almost breakable but no less sharp as it whipped across the room, tearing through the small world that Eric and I had created for ourselves. Shadows moved in my peripheral.
In seconds, Eric had turned, pushing me behind him, a chilling growl ripping from his lips as he turned to the voice. Lurking just at the edge of the stairs, a hazy outline of a woman wavered in and out, the edges looking like vapors trying to escape, shivering in a purple haze. She was made of smoke and ash, her hair long and blowing in some strange wind as she stepped daintily forward, a row of jagged teeth cutting through the abyss of her face into a terrifying grin. Her eyes shown bright, illuminated in the stark planes of her face. She looked like a shadow creature brought to life and given the outline of a woman.
Uneasiness seeped off of Eric in heavy pulses, making the knot in my stomach grow tighter every second.
Mean, razor sharp teeth flashed as the creature stepped forward obviously unimpressed by Eric's display. "Your lap dog, I presume?" A low snarl ripped from Eric and the creature tilted her head. "Mm. Not well trained." Her eyes lapped along Eric's impressive height, the breadth of his shoulder down to his tapered waist. The attention made my blood boil. "But you've done a fair enough job keeping him groomed." Eric didn't seem to like the insinuation. Her gaze strayed to the trashed content of my living room, a frown marring her face. "And the maenad?"
"Currently a pile of moldy porridge," Eric snarled, his eyes attentive, following the mares slow steps to my grandmother's ornate lamps. A foot delicately pushed at a mass of mush on the floor, coming away with ribbons of slime attatched to the toes. A small, almostly comically unimpressed sigh drifted to me.
This all would have been funny, almost absurdly so if it hadn't been for the sudden appearance, for the bodies currently littering my home just a few feet away. If not for the mare that was crumpled in the swamps behind my house. My stomach knotted, coiling tight enough to make a sharp breath rush from me. How had she gotten here so quickly? How had she known?
A thick lump of anxiety clogged my windpipe, gagging me. Did it matter now? They had asked me to bring the maenad alive. And more than that, the death of one of their own wouldn't be received well. Especially not from me.
My eyes drifted to the people outside my window, all moving farther and farther away as they tried to get off my property. Sookie was usher people around, Jason offering a ride to others - I couldn't call them. My teeth sank into the top layer of my tongue. Couldn't risk them getting hurt.
"We wanted her alive," the mare said, her words lowering with boredom. Her body moved like a ballerina performing a series of well-rehearsed spins, drifting along the edges of the room with enough grace to make me sweaty. She was too at ease. It made my skin crawl. Those white glowing orbs that qualified as eyes, lasered in on me. "You're not very good at following orders."
"She's not yours to command." Eric's voice boomed across the room, whipping through the air like a slap falling on an open face. His whole body rolled with tension, hands clenching at his side as he kept me safely behind him, his head tilting slightly as he kept one eye checking that I remained where I was.
Darkness slithered from the gaping hole of the mare's lips. "Oh really?"
Dread hit me moments before the pain. No one, supernatural or otherwise remained this calm with someone like Eric Northman snarling at them. Not when he looked half-rabid, ready to tear someone's throat out if they stepped any closer. No one smiled in a face twisted with such feral rage if they didn't have something up their sleeve.
I should have known. I should have thought of it sooner.
Chills raced up my spine moments before the heat, the startling contrast making my whole body go taut in distress. Like everything was amping up, the adrenaline in my veins kicking in with a sharp warning before the real damage started. And boy was it not a good enough warning.
Knives sawed slowly away at my throat, playing me open until there was nothing but vulnerable, bleeding tissue. The sensation was so real that I stumbled, clutching at my throat and feeling nothing but the indent of that hellish tattoos collaring me. The sudden blast of agony like an open flame being pushed against the exposed tissue, burning away at my flayed skin, brought me to my knees with a wail.
Sounds popped in and out, my focus centered on whatever hell was happening to me as I tried desperately to drag myself away, to focus on something other than the illusion of pain. But God it was too much. Screams clawed their way up my throat, dirt dragging along my tongue as my head hit the mess of my carpet. My fingers had turned into claws, digging into the skin at my throat and collarbone, desperate to make it all stop - desperate for those sharp little blades to stop stripping my skin away, delicate layer by delicate layer like prosciutto going through a shaving block-
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING TO HER?!" Air flowed into my lunges as someone flipped me, the pain suddenly ebbing to a dizzying ache. My head spun, the world around me going hazy as whatever had been controlling me released me. Oh God. My eyes squeezed shut against the lamplight, trying to draw in a full breath of air. "Runa -"
"I'm - I-" Another gulp of air stung my throat, blood smearing my fingers as I rubbed at my throat. Ribbons of shaved flesh marred the delicate skin there, my nails packed with fresh blood and my own skin. "I'm f-fine."
"Oh you're far from fine, baby mare," the shadow sang across the clearing. Against me, Eric's body vibrated with barely contained rage, his eyes blue flames cutting through the night. Across the way, the mare examined her fingernails. "You've been rather naughty tonight. Not only did you not keep the maenad alive but you killed one of your own sisters as well." Her tongue clicked, the words spoken softly but no less maliciously. "You need to pay."
Pay… My stomach sank. I… I did need to pay. Not just for the mare's death but for the others as well. Cool night air tickled my nape, making me all too aware of how the house moved around us, strangly silent after so long being under the rule of a creature of chaos like Maryanne. I could feel the fear - the foggy terror of waking up in a place that you didn't remember going to with blood and dirt and other peoples spend against your skin. Even now I could hear the first distant cry as someone found a body, their horror making my teeth ache with it's intensity.
I had done that. Me. My face pressed into Eric's neck for a moment, trying to inhale his familiar scent.
I wish I could have -
I wish he had been -
I wish she hadn't -
My words came out steady, strangely calm. "What do you want?"
"Runa-" Eric's whole body became stone as I pulled away, his face freezing in a mask of panic. His hands locked around my shoulders, tugging me back to him as he tried desperately to hold my gaze. "What the hell are you doing? We can still-"
"No." There are some words that are so raw that they feel like pieces of your insides being pulled out, dragging along my tongue and teeth, tugging at the organs that remain. As I stared up at him, I realized that I had never really felt such fear - such a desperate need for things to be different all the while knowing that there was nothing that I could change anymore. We lived in a world filled with magic and there was thing that could change what would happen tonight - what had happened only two days earlier. My lips felt odd, terrifying as they pulled back and up into some sad, sham of a smile. His eyes drifted across my face like a blind man trying to feel where to go in an unfamiliar room. Where was the door? Where did we get out? Oh, Eric. We're not getting out. Not tonight. My fingers quivered along his cheek, wanting to brand the planes of his face into the open splay of my palm. "No."
His eyes had taken on the desperate sheen of an animal in a cage. " You can't-"
"It's okay." Was I crying? My voice was shaking. I pressed my forehead to his jaw, biting down on my lip. "It's going to be okay."
"Stop saying that." He sounded out of breath. Like he was forcing himself to stay still after getting sucker punched. His voice changed directions, his arms banding around me as he tugged me closer to his chest like a child holding on to his favorite toy. "What do you want, mare?"
I was surprised she had waited as we whispered to each other. Now I thought it had more to do with the pure terror that she had to be lapping up from me. Her lips pulled up cruelly, the shadowy mass of her body sparking with purple currents. "You remember our original deal?"
My lips felt numb. "I would be free of you if I gave you the maenad."
Her face was a grotesque mass of glee, her whole body sparking through with erratic purple light. She didn't need to say any more. She didn't have to. My whole body ran cold, her next words making my organs feel like blocks of ice. "It would be a shame if more of us came here. That's what they wanted to do after we found out what you did to Constance… You're sister seems so pretty. So strong...and unafraid."
"You viciously little harpy," Eric's voice growled out. "A few months ago you couldn't even be bothered to check if Runa was still alive."
Her teeth flashed in a row of jagged razors. "She's drawn our attention." Her gaze zipped back to me. "Be a good girl and make this easier for us… and the people you love." My skin tingled, chills pinning their way up my throat and across my face. I could feel the color draining from my skin. Her eyes were hypnotic. "You've already done enough damage, haven't you."
The floor dropped from beneath me. I… Someone outside screamed, the rapid panic in their words mixing in with the tang of terror on my tongue. Dead - they had found another one dead. My hands clenched, the dried blood pulling taught at my skin. Punishment. I deserved to burn. Punishment.
"Runa-" Eric whipped around, his eyes frantic.
"Eric Northman, I rescind my offer." The words fell between us like stones cast into a still lake. His eyes widened, face contorting in shock and panic.
Shakily, against his will, he lerched toward the open door. "Don't you dare do this."
My lips pulled into a bitter smile. I love you. I wish I could live with myself. I wish I didn't want to be damned for the things Maryanne had made me do. I love you. But all that came out wer broken words: "Please look after Sookie and Jason."
HIs fangs flashed, glinting in the low lamplight, his whole face a mask of rage as his big body shivered with each step toward the door. "Runa Knottelska, don't you fucking -"
Tears made him a fuzzy outline, my fingers trembling as I reached for the mare's outstretched hand. He was at the threshold, screaming, cursing at me and the mare and the world in venomous Swedish.
"You were all I ever wished for." My fingers curled through her fingers, a zing coursing up my arm, tingling down my throat and into my stomach.
"SOOKIE-" The world went blissfully dark.
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