The soft rhythm of her feet hitting the ground during the morning run no longer soothed Kara; she had never realized the subtle difference of having him beside her until he was gone.
The soft rhythm of her feet hitting the ground during the morning run no longer soothed Kara; she had never realized the subtle difference of having him beside her until he was gone.
She had always imagined how it would happen. It would be simple. Another one of his stands for moral rightness. Or it would be complex involving Cylons and betrayals and nukes and a lot of screaming. It kept her up most nights just imagining it.
She never thought it would end like this.
One second they were joking and making faces at each other through the cockpit glass, and then she was staring at a quick flare of fire and millions of small metal pieces.
Kara rubbed her eyes to keep the tears at bay as she made the turn down another endless corridor. It wasn't like things were perfect between her and Lee. They seem to fight more than anything else these days. Or should that be seemed to fight? Was she supposed to start using the past tense every time she thought about him?
She wasn't ready for that.
Her relationship with Lee had always been fraked up in some sense. It was just the way things were. In the end, she found that comforting. So much in her life made sense that it was nice to have something that just existed for the sake of being.
In any other circumstance, she was pretty sure she never would have been friends with Lee. Maybe a one-night frak, sure, but never friends.
It was odd how she had grown grateful for the pain the gods had given her through the years.
It made her feel alive.
Kara pushed her thoughts to the side and focused on her run. This was the first time she stepped out of her bunk since the memorial three days ago. She needed to stay strong and focused or she would just end up right back in that little hole, hiding from the world.
She and Lee hadn't gone on these runs since the Pegasus showed up. They had been too busy. She regretted that stupid decision now that the possibility was gone forever. She should have pushed more to keep him close. She shouldn't have let him withdraw from her.
Struggling for breath, Kara braced herself against the wall of the corridor. Her hands came up to wrap around the chain of dogtags. She didn't have to open her eyes to know what she was feeling.
L. Adama 462359
It was the only thing he left her. He said he wanted to replace the one she lost. Kara felt guilty for never telling him she hadn't lost her second dog tag.
The metal felt cool in her hand.
She tightened her eyes as the memory of his Viper exploding played in her mind. It was almost as if it was on an endless loop.
It wasn't supposed to happen this way. Lee wasn't supposed to be first.
He had left her alone to figure out how to survive, and the pain of knowing she might not be strong enough pulled at her insides.
She had come back from the memorial service to find a small envelope on her bunk. It had taken her three days to get the courage to open it. Lee's dog tags tumbled out followed by a small piece of parchment. On it was a note stating he expected her to be brave and find earth, not for his pilots or his father but for herself. Above all, he wanted her to have the chance to rest. She worked too hard. He said he loved her and hoped she wouldn't cry too many tears for him. His name was signed at the end in his familiar messy scrawl. A last request was scribbled at the bottom in small script.
He left her his dog tags to be buried in the soil of the thirteenth colony.
Sighing, Kara pushed the small pieces of metal back into her tanks and resolved to finish her run. Lee wanted her to be strong.
