When I was a young lass around oh, lets say 9...I said to myself "RICK, GET A JOB!" and I did just that. So my story actually begins on the streets of New York City, where dreams come true if Ur willing to lose an arm or 2...not that I did...I got something better...love...that pays good.

Whilst I was walking down Walstreet and I ran across a "NOW HIRING" ad, and I thought to myself "RICK, THERES A JOB! DONT LOOK AT THAT GUY WITH NO ARM, TURN AROUND YOU IDIOT!", so after staring at the guy with no arm, I looked in the window...and I went inside to apply. The said to me, "RICK, your too young to work in a place like this...get out." I wasn't ready to give up...so I said, "RICK ISNT GOING ANYWHERE! I want this job and IT WANTS ME." It was true; this job had my name written all over it. Now, I might have to remind you, that I am 9 years old. Well later on, they called me from the pay phone of which I lived and said I could take the job. I was feeling dizzy with excitement...or maybe the smell of the dead hobo was finally getting to me...either way, I was happy.

So, years passed and I was 11 years old. I was walking home from a good day of Stripping, which was the job I got 2 years ago. I was pretty good, and had a lot going for me. I was young, reckless, and live in an alley with a dead hobo I called Bob, which by now had turned into a skeleton...but he keeps a bats at bay. I tell him all my troubles...but that's a whole entirely different story...which ill get to later in the sequel. So as I reached my alley way home I saw some THUGS beating an poor lady with a brick and a steal pipe, which I recognized as my coat rack. So I thought to myself, "RICK, YOU BETTER GET OUT THERE AND DO SOMETHING! STOP TRYING TO LOOK AT THAT GUYS BUTT!" So I jumped into action! I grabbed one of Bob's femurs and started beating with all my might...but when I opened my eyes, I was beating the lady. Whoops! The bad guys got away, but she was still in a haze, and thought those were hitting her...so I got off lucky. So I welcomed her into my alley way home, and my head kept screaming, "RICK. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA OFFER HER? WARM SEAGE! ONLY YOU ACCUQIRED A TASTE FOR THAT!" So as I spent the next few hours trying to heal her wounds with only my sources...which were bloody rags and I think a dead animal. But none the less, she made me t over night...with maybe some kind of illness...

A Year later she awoke...she was in a coma since the beating with the bone, steal pipe, and the brick. "Where am I? How long was I out?" were the first questions she asked me when she awoke. I told her, "You're in my humble abode...and alley. You've been out for a year.."."A YEAR? Tell me You're JOKING!", she screamed. I calmly said, "No." She got over her initial shock and told me she had to go. But in gratitude she promised me her unborn Childs' hand in marriage, I graciously accepted. Not knowing what would happen next.

15 years later and 75 jobs later, all of which were stripping jobs, her son was born. Now you have to understand that she was in utter shock. She had thought that the child was to be a girl...well that's what the dead beat doctor said. So, I called her up and told her I couldn't wait to meet him. So in a desperate attempt to save her son from marrying a man, I mighty fine man, she fled to America. A promise is a promise...I wouldn't let her forget it.

16 more years later I joined a team, the PBBA Allstars, which Judy, the woman from years past, was the coach. I was bound to get Max. I met him one day in the airport, when she was introducing us. She didn't seem to recognize me; with all the years...I have changed. My once golden locks were now a dull gray. So, for now I would move in slowly. He was a hunk. I couldn't wait to make him mine. We started on the wrong foot, might have been when I launched my beyblade at him. I was just shocked at what a MAN he was...and in my shock I pulled the rip cord...whoops.

Well, after days turning into weeks I finally beat down Judy and made off with Max into the sunset down dead mans curve. And to this day, I remain a wanted man, for the manslaughter of Judy Tate, Theft of a vehicle, and kid-napping Max Tate...and for being down right hot. So here I sit, 45, with 3 kids and a white picket fence...and quite the young one! This is how my story ends. Fair Thee Well.

THE END

RICK (the novelist)