Harry Potter as written by Geoffrey Chaucer

by Technomad

Whenne in Septembre, at the sommers ende,

The yonge folke to schole must y-wende,

Then magick folke doe goe to London Towne,

Diagon Alley thei doe walken downe.

Thei buyen thinges for a yeare of schole,

And hopen well their chyld is ne a foole.

Then all must goon to thronge at Kings Cross

To their plateforme the barrier y-cross.

The Hoggewartes Express waiteth nigh

As parents tell their chyldren all "goodbye."

Befel that in Septembre on a daye

When nigh to the Express I chaunced to straye

I saw a companye of magick folke

And heerd them welle as they of schole spoke.

I listed welle, and found that in thatte place

I now stood before Harry Pottre's face!

For Harry Pottre is the heroe bolde

Who, as it hath so often ben retolde

As a babe destroyed Lord Voldemort,

Though how he did so ne man knoweth more.

By Harry his side stoode hys two friends,

Who fain woulde follow him to earthes ends.

Ron Weasley, a ginger, lanke and talle,

Who mentallie hath not much on ye balle.

With blanke een he gazed about the place,

While stuffinge snackes into hys foolishe face.

And Hermionie Granger, though eek of Muggle folke,

Her wit and learninge are by alle y-spoke.

Her tresses are eke like a fright-wigge,

But 'neath her hair, her braine is mightie bigge.

Ne spelle nor glamour doth this maide not knowe,

And oftentymes her learninge doth she showe.

And also there were others standing nigh

The Malfoi clan, whose love of selfe is high,

Dyd stand by Draco, who to them is heir,

A-wondringe why Muggle-bornes be there.

And Draco's guards, their names were Crabbe and Goyle,

The sighte of them, my day did well de-spoyle.

The Parkinsons had their heiresse, Pansy,

The sighte of whom nude ne man wanteth see.