Her stomach dropped out when the Commander told her that her mother had been found alive on the Aerelon Traveler, but when Kara felt Lee slip his hand into hers and as his soft voice in her ear urged her to breathe, she knew that somehow everything would be all right.
Kara had no clue why the Old Man was waiting for her as she landed from CAP, but she knew it couldn't be good. As she was powering down, she went over all this things this might be about. She had stolen Hot Dog's underwear the last time he was in the showers, but they had settled that on their own terms. She had Racetrack doing all of her maintenance shifts this week, but that was justified by the IOW Kara had sitting in her locker. She hadn't mocked Tigh lately, and she had even stopped calling Lee Golden Boy.
As she hopped off the landing stairs, she suddenly remembered that she had blackmailed Duck into talking with the nuggets and exaggerating the brutality of her teaching methods. She thought it would be funny. She didn't know the nuggets would believe Duck. Kara was already in the middle of an apology when the serious look on the Old Man's face stopped her in her tracks.
Her stomach dropped out when the Commander told her that her mother had been found alive on the Aerelon Traveler, but when Kara felt Lee slip his hand into hers and as his soft voice in her ear urged her to breathe, she knew that somehow everything would be all right.
She hadn't heard Lee make his way to her side, but she was never so glad to know he was there. She stood frozen as Lee started asking the right questions. How did she get on a ship in the Fleet? Where had she been the past few years? Why were they only finding out now?
The Old Man answered as best he could. They didn't know why Sarah Thrace was in the Fleet. She had given the Marines who found her on the Aerelon Traveler some story about trying to track down an old family friend. Considering the reputation the freighter had gained for being the place to go if you needed a fix, Adama was pretty sure that Kara's mother was lying.
Kara gave a small nod of agreement and stayed silent as Adama continued.
"I spoke with her over the wireless a few hours ago, Kara. She claims that she had no idea Galactica was the battlestar you were stationed on."
"Bull shit!" Lee hissed.
Kara squeezed his hand and decided it was time for her to stop letting him do all the work. "She's telling the truth, Lee. I haven't spoken to her since I was old enough to go to Academy. She knew I was a pilot, but I don't think anyone ever told her about my assignment." Kara let go of Lee's hand and crossed her arms in front of her. "So, does mommy dearest want to see me?"
"Let's not talk about this right now," Adama said, glancing around the hangar. "Get a shower, change, and meet me in my office in an hour."
Kara snapped off a quick salute and was halfway to the bunkroom when she realized Lee was following her. "What the frak do you want?" she hissed.
Lee froze in place. "I thought you might want someone to help you digest your mother being alive. My father's going to be worried about you, Kara, but he's also going to want a decision on whether you're going to go see her or not. I figured I could be an objective audience while you made that decision."
"There's nothing to talk about, Lee. So just go away."
Lee took a step forward. "Kara…"
"I don't need you, Lee," she reiterated. "I'm fine."
Lee narrowed his eyes but took a step back. Kara didn't stick around to figure out if he was really giving up or just taking a pause. She had an hour to clean-up.
Kara settled back into a familiar routine of glares and growls. It was effective in keeping everyone away from her. She knew that she was ignoring the problem, but she didn't care. She had been ignoring the problem for years, and it had never backfired. She would just go with her instinct when the time came.
All she knew was that seeing her mother wasn't going to change anything. Kara had worked hard to leave her past behind. She sacrificed to get this life, and gods be damned, she was not going to give it up.
It was with that determination that she strode into the Commander's office and, flopping down on the couch, said she was not doing it. She was not going to waste hours of her life for something that had no real point or purpose.
Adama listened to her rant on and on about her reasoning until she finally ran out of air. He took a deep breath and then told her she was wrong. "You are going to see this woman, Kara. At some point, you'll run in to her. It might be when you're on leave or a mission might put you on the same ship. Regardless, you can't avoid her."
"What are you suggesting, sir?"
"I'm suggesting you check Kara at the door and show her a little of who Starbuck is. Face this woman on your own terms. You initiate, you terminate. Show her that things are not the same as when you were small. You're in charge of your life. You have been for a long while, Kara."
Kara let herself take a good look at the man in front of her. William Adama had been a father to her ever since Zak died. He took care of her, giving her a home and a place to feel she belonged. He knew her better than almost anyone else.
He thought she was strong enough to do this. He was almost right.
"Sir, can I request something?"
Adama nodded almost immediately. At this point, he would give her anything.
"Can it be arranged… I mean, I know it's going to be hard, but I feel like… I'll help with the shifting of the schedule…"
Adama reached out to lay a hand on her shoulder. "Kara."
"Can I take Lee with me?"
Adama stared at her for a moment, taking in her body language. Her knees were tilted in toward each other, and she had her hands in her lap, distractedly picking at her fingernails. Her head was bowed almost as if she didn't want to see his reaction. It reminded him of when Lee was young. Lee had a habit of breaking things and then hiding them until the guilt got to be too much. He would sit just like that when he was admitting what he was done.
Kara looked as innocent as a child right now. Adama decided that all things considered she had a lot in common with a child right now. There were things Kara didn't know about the situation like the fact her mother had sounded like she was at the end of a particularly bad bender when she phoned him earlier. Adama didn't want her to know that her mother probably only wanted to beg money from her daughter. Kara needed to find that out for herself. She needed to be the one to make the decision to push her mother out of her life. It couldn't be the other way around like before.
There was no rule that she had to be alone when she did it, though.
Adama was glad she had been the one to ask for Lee. It would have been awkward in any other way.
It wasn't that he thought Lee would object. His son just spent the last hour sitting in the same spot that Kara was currently occupying. He had gone on and on about how worried he was that Kara couldn't handle this. He pointed out how vulnerable she was since injuring her knee and how happy she had been since the successful mission on the tylium asteroid. Adama knew all those things were true, but he couldn't help pointing out that this was Kara's choice to make.
Lee had stomped out of his office, completely furious. Adama figured that was about right. His talks with his son usually ended in anger and frustration.
"I'll change up the flight schedule myself. How soon do you want to see her?"
"Today would be nice. I'd like to get it out of the way, sir."
"Done," Adama said, giving her shoulder a squeeze.
Kara leaned in to give his cheek a quick kiss and then was out the hatch door. Adama smiled. She would be fine. Lee would make sure of that.
"Do you think I should have changed?" Kara asked, fingering the hem of her tanks.
Lee looked over her outfit. It was the normal colonial issue tanks/sweatshirt/cargos combination. It was nearly identical to what he was wearing. "Do you think you should be wearing a dress or something?"
Kara glared at him in response.
"You look fine, Kara," he offered. "In fact, you look like you normally do. That shows your mother that she's not going to frak up what you have. She's not going to change you."
The Raptor clunked down and connected with the docking station on the Aerelon Traveler. Lee winced as Kara jumped. She stayed tense even after the ramp was lowered and the pilot was giving them looks that clearly said she wanted them out so she could continue on with her route.
"Kara," Lee whispered after a few seconds.
"I'm scared, Lee."
Lee nodded. He had gotten bits and pieces about Sarah Thrace and her relationship to Kara in the years since Zak had introduced them. He knew that Kara had a right to be scared. "I know you told my dad you wanted to do this, but you can back out. We can stay on this Raptor and just ride as passengers for the rest of Two-Ten's route."
"No, I need to do this," Kara said. She bit down on her lip in determination and got to her feet.
Lee followed her out on the freighter. It only took a few inquiries to figure out that Sarah Thrace was known for partying hard in the freighter's bar before retreating back to her room to shoot up. Lee had hoped that the presence of Kara's mother on this particular ship was just a coincidence, but it obviously wasn't meant to be.
"Don't worry," Kara whispered reassuringly in a frightening blank tone. "My mother is pretty coherent when she's been using. Drugs, alcohol, it didn't matter. She always knew when I was doing something wrong."
Lee tried to keep from reacting. There was going to be a lot of moments like this in the next few hour, and he needed to be strong.
It only took three knocks to get Sarah Thrace to the door. When she opened it, her whole demeanor changed. She went from being a small woman, obviously hopped up on some sort of stim, to being a rather intimidating figure. "I wondered when you'd get around to this."
Lee felt Kara freeze up beside him and reached down to grasp her hand. That small show of support seemed to snap her out of it. "Can we come in?"
Kara didn't wait for her mother's answer. She just pushed her way inside, and Lee had no other choice but to follow. He heard the door slam behind him and knew that this was not getting off to a good start.
"So I'm here," Kara said, crossing her arms in front of her. Lee was proud of how defiantly strong she looked.
"You're here."
"Commander Adama said you wanted to see me."
Sarah Thrace watched her daughter for a moment before turning to pour herself a glass of some rather raunchy looking alcohol. "So who the frak is this guy?"
Kara stiffened. She wasn't stupid. She knew that question was going to come up at some point. Lee was an attractive man, and her mother always liked attractive men. However, she hadn't expected her mother to get to the topic of who Lee was quite so early on.
"Is this just another guy you're using to frak your way to the top?" Sarah turned to smile at Lee. "Like mother, like daughter, isn't that what they say?"
Lee wasn't sure what came over him. He watched Kara's shoulders droop a little as her mother's insults kept coming. It hadn't taken long for things to get out of hand. He struggled to find something to say to put Sarah Thrace in her place. The last thing he wanted anyone to think was that Kara had gotten to the position she was at because he couldn't keep his dick in his pants.
"He's cute, Kara, so I guess if you had to whore yourself out, you made a good choice."
"You need to stop talking about your daughter like that," Lee growled.
"Or what?" Sarah Thrace stared at him a moment before chuckling and walking over to face her daughter. "Who is this guy?"
Kara's mouth dropped open, and Lee could see her struggling for words. He couldn't let her be broken like this. There was only one thing he could think of to say, and even though he knew it was absolutely the last thing he should be saying, the words flew from his mouth. "I'm the man who's hopelessly in love with your daughter."
Lee winced, and he turned in time to see Kara's eyes go wide. Her mouth was still hanging open but for a completely different reason now. He could not believe he had just fraking said that. Lee had been struggling with what he felt for Kara for so long. He knew it was inappropriate so he kept it a secret so that she wouldn't laugh in his face. It was always easier that way.
Lately, he had started to wonder if maybe she felt the same for him. It was little things like the way she let him help her with the physical therapy for her knee or the fact that she kept bringing him coffee on the mornings she knew he had to plan the next flight schedule. Or the fact that she came up to him the day before and did a little dance of joy as she told him Cottle had cleared her to start running in the corridors again. It had taken Lee a few hours to realize she was saying she wanted to go running with him.
And then there was the tylium mission. When she had handed him that cigar, something shifted. She smiled, and it was different than before. It made him have thoughts he shouldn't be having.
Those thoughts were what led up to his little outburst.
Sarah Thrace's laugh snapped Lee away from staring at Kara's look of complete shock. Lee had never heard a cackle before, but that's what it sounded like. "Are you fraking kidding me? You love her?"
"I do," Lee said, knowing that he had no way of getting himself out of this one.
"Kara, is this true?"
Kara just kept staring at Lee.
"You're worthless," Sarah Thrace said. She walked over to her daughter and yanked her hand out into the air between them. "Tell me this. If you're so in love with my daughter, then why the frak isn't she wearing a ring?" Sarah started to laugh again. "Silly girl. I always told you men lied. He's just using you for as long as you're willing to frak him."
"We haven't slept together," Kara whispered, knowing this was probably not the comment she should pick to start responding to.
"You don't have to sleep to frak. Still, didn't I teach you anything? Whoring yourself isn't going to accomplish anything. If you find a man who has money or rank, you use what you have to trap him. Keep yourself living a comfortable life."
Lee felt the disgust wash over him and tried to keep control of his temper. He stepped forward to pull Kara's hand away from her mother's grasp. "I thought I told you that you needed to stop."
"You have no right to talk to me like that," Sarah Thrace slurred. "I am this girl's mother. Who the frak are you? You're not even man enough to make her an honest woman."
Lee knew he was too angry to stop now and just hoped Kara would be gentle with his heart later when they were alone. "I would join myself to your daughter in a second if I thought she would let me."
Kara felt Lee's arm tighten around her, and she realized she needed to put an end to this before Lee started creating lies that he couldn't back up. He looked so angry she wouldn't be surprised if he decided to kiss her to prove his point. She couldn't take that right now. She didn't have the strength to pick up the pieces of her heart when this was all over.
"What do you want from me?" she asked, the sadness heavy in her voice.
"I just wanted to see you, dear." Sarah Thrace took a few steps forward but stopped when she saw the threatening look on Lee's face. "I thought you were dead, Kara."
"That's funny." Lee felt his heart soar as that familiar smile of hers played at the corner of her mouth. "Because I hoped you were dead."
"You don't mean that."
"I do." Kara pulled away from Lee. She needed to do this on her own. "I spent so many years thinking that the only reason you punished me was because you loved me. It frakked me up, made me think that pain was the way people showed their love. It took a rather extraordinary man to change my mind and then it took his older brother to prove to me it wasn't a fluke. Even if I screwed up something fierce, I was still worth something." Kara inched her way closer until she was standing nose to nose with her mother. "So you see, I don't need you or your little bits of wisdom anymore, Mom. I'm fine on my own."
Kara looked at Lee for a moment and nodded. "I'm ready to go."
Lee put his hand on the small of her back and led her out of the room. He paused at the doorway and turned back. "If you know what's good for you, you won't try to contact Kara again. She has a new family now, and we could make it so that no one even remembers you surviving the holocaust. You would just disappear."
Kara smiled to herself as she heard her mother start swearing. Sarah Thrace had never been a fan of threats. Hopefully, she could see this particular threat was not an empty one. For her own good, she should stay away.
"Thank you, Lee," Kara whispered as they began walking back to the docking area.
"Anytime," Lee said, sliding his arm back around her shoulders. "What are friends for?"
Kara let herself snuggle in closer to his side. She couldn't wait to go home.
Kara sat at her desk and stared at the paper in front of her. This was the first and last communication she would ever have with her mother.
Sarah Thrace had listened to Lee's threat. She never once tried to contact her daughter, and pretty soon all evidence of her existence faded away. Kara knew she was still out there somewhere, though.
Kara smiled to herself and ran her finger over the embossed words on the card in front of her.
Admiral William Adama is happy to announce the marriage of his son, Major Lee Adama, to Captain Kara Thrace on this seven-hundredth-sixty-third day post-destruction.
Kara picked a pen up and started scribbling. She couldn't help but read the words out loud as she wrote. "Please don't think I sent this as an invitation back into my life. I just wanted you to know that I did something right with my life by not listening to one thing you ever taught me. He's making an honest woman out of me, Mom, but only because he loves me."
Kara shut her eyes and took a deep breath before continuing, "I do owe you at least partial thanks. Without my little visit to see you, I would never have known that Lee loved me."
Kara smiled at the memory. She hadn't believed Lee that day when he told her mother that he was hopelessly in love with her. Then he repeated it when they were dancing on Colonial Day. And when she was trying to fix up the Raider to make the jump to Caprica. And when she returned home. And when they almost died in that firing range. And when they both got transferred to Pegasus.
When he almost died, Kara figured it was her turn to say it.
Kara smiled and finished up what she was writing. She had a honeymoon to go on. "Thank you for doing right by me in the end."
She slid the card into an envelope and addressed it to the Aerelon Traveler. She didn't care if her mother ever got the message. She wasn't doing this for Sarah Thrace.
A soft knock on the open hatch made her look up, and she smiled at her husband. "Everything okay?" he asked.
Kara slid the envelope to the side. She'd send it later. "Never better."
