Disclaimer: I do not own the Phantom of the Opera, nor its characters. The story is not mine, albeit it is somewhat twisted more to my own liking.
A/N: Hmmm… Only one review so far? Oh well, can't capture everyone's interest. Either way, I'm still going to continue writing. Cheers!
No Love Without An Angel
by: Desaire
© 2006
Chapter Three
Broken on the Inside
While Meg waited outside the dressing rooms, she thought over what could possibly be bothering her friend. She seemed like she was having a good time, it was only until I began talking about Raoul that she became upset. Something has to wrong with her and Raoul; that just has to be it. There's no other explanation. Ever since he first proposed she's been acting so different; distant.
Meg sat in silence pondering over just what exactly was wrong with their relationship. Not much time had passed when she saw the curtain to the dressing room slide open and Christine and the seamstress walked out. Her jaw literally dropped at the sight of her friend.
"Oh, Christine, you look absolutely gorgeous! I knew you would be stunning in that dress." Meg motioned for Christine to turn so she could get the full view.
Madame Tavily clasped her hands together and looked very pleased. Her withered, aged face held a happy smile. "Oh yes, dearie, you look like an angel! Now let me take a few last measurements and you can remove the dress."
Christine stiffened at the mention of being called an 'angel'. An image of a man filled her mind; his haunting music playing along with the visual. Already now she swore she could hear his voice, coaxing her. Come to me, my Angel of Music. Shaking her head clear, she smiled and thanked the elderly woman for her kind words and Meg for finding the dress.
Meg had not failed to notice Christine's sudden flinch when the seamstress said the word 'angel'. Another piece of the puzzle slid in place inside her head. Of course! How could I not of understood until now! She stood frozen as Christine and Mme. Tavily went back into the changing room. It all makes perfect sense now. Angel. Erik. Mother will know what to say or do; I'll just leave it up to her.
Less than ten minutes later Christine was done getting measured, dressed in her own clothes again, and was ruffling through several lovely white gowns for Meg to try on. She ended up trying on at least four different dresses before both girls decided, with the help of Mme. Tavily, on a dazzling white silk gown with down feathers covering the neckline and off the shoulder straps; it even came with long feathers that were to be as decoration in her hair.
While their dresses were being adjusted, Meg and Christine went to a mask shop that was just across the street. Christine had already decided that she was not going to wear a mask, even with Meg's stubborn pleading.
"Why are you not going to wear one, Christine? It's a Masque Ball. The whole point to the evening is to have a mask and become someone, something else for a night."
"No, Meg. I have my reasons, now enough is enough."
Taking the hint, and hearing the subtle pain in her friend's voice, Meg spoke no more on the subject. It didn't take more than a single glance among the dozens of masks in the glass case which one Meg was going to buy; it matched her outfit perfectly as if it were made to be a set.
Once they had Meg's masks, they still had two hours until their dresses would be finished. Apparently they were the only two customers; everyone else had bought their costumes ahead of time.
In the meantime they stopped at the local bakery for a quick midday pastry snack. They spent the rest of the period walking through the nearby park, chattering away.
Meg did her best to stay off any subject that had to do with marriage, Raoul, or Erik. The two hours breezed by with no more hurt feelings, only happiness and excitement. Night was coming on quickly. They paid for their dresses, and with bags in hand, they hurried back to the Opera House before Antoinette became too worried.
With their task down for the day, all that remained was getting home. They made their way back to the dormitories as the night life residents began to pour out into the streets. Already music and the laughter of drunks and partygoers could be heard filling the air.
Arriving home in safety, both girls sighed in relief.
"Next time, let's do these sorts of things earlier in the day so we can avoid those troublemakers. It was too frightening. I could practically feel their eyes on me. Yuck! And I could have sworn we were being followed. If there had not of been so many people around something horrible might have happened." Meg leaned against the wall of the dorm corridor to catch her breath.
Christine patted her shoulder. "It's ok. Try not to think to hard on what could have happened and just be relieved that nothing bad did happen." She smiled weakly.
The kitchen was to their left; the aromas of delicious fresh baked bread, stew, and crème pastries wafted through the air. Their mouths watered just from the wonderful smells.
"Come on, mother will no doubt be waiting for us in the dining rooms. I'm going to first bring my bags to my room." Meg straightened and went down the hallway.
"Alright, I'll meet you and Antoinette there." Christine turned right down the hallway, which led to her private room. She hesitated as she reached for the doorknob. For the past three months she had wondered whether or not he would be in there waiting for her. Will he be hiding behind the mirror today, or is he below in his house in the fifth floor cellars? Will he be the angry Phantom, or will he be my musical genius, my Angel of Music once more?
Sighing and shaking away the feeling of dread and bothersome thoughts, she walked through the doorway. Everything seemed in place, just as she left it. Everything felt the same; empty and lonely.
Christine could not stop the tear that slipped down her cheek or the sob that escaped her lips. "I would rather face his anger any day than not ever seeing him or hearing his voice. God, please let him not be gone from me forever. Please tell me I haven't lost him. I need him… so much. I need my Erik back." She whispered softly.
How can I marry Raoul when I will lose Erik… permanently? I have no choice though now. I've already accepted Raoul's proposal. I'm trapped and there's no way to escape.
Christine moved to set her dress down over the bed and went to sit in her vanity chair. "I'm so confused. What am I going to do? I can't have one without losing the other. I guess it all comes down to who holds my heart and soul more. Who do I love more?"
Placing a hand over her heart, she glared at herself in the mirror attached to the vanity. Who do you love more? For several long minutes she thought so hard that her head began to throb. She searched deep within herself; rolling over each individual emotion, feeling and memory for each man. What are my true feelings for them? What is it about them that I love so much that I can't choose? Is it even love that I feel?
A knock rapped at the door, interrupting her important thoughts.
"Christine, are you still in there?" Meg's soft voice reached her ears.
"Yes, yes I'm in here. You may come in, the door is unlocked." Christine wiped the tears from her eyes; she had not even realized that she'd been crying.
"Christine, I thought you were coming to dinner? Mother and I have been waiting for you." Seeing her friends flushed face, Meg knelt down beside her feet, taking her hands in her own. "What's wrong? What happened?"
"Christine?" Both girls looked up to see Antoinette standing in the doorway, her arms crossed over her belly and eyes stern but still worried. "Christine, what is it?" She moved into the room, closing the door behind her.
Christine looked at her hands folded with Meg's in her lap, not trusting her face to stay calm and neutral. That and the fact that if she lost her control she would spill everything that was clouding her mind, not leaving out a single detail.
"Nothing is wrong." Her voice was quiet and stuttered slightly. She was not going to win this battle within herself. She was unraveling from the inside out. The pain was too great to keep locked away inside any longer.
"Oh, posh! Honestly, Christine, you are absolutely terrible at lying. Don't you dare sit there and tell me that everything is fine, because I know that it is not. For the past two months you have been secluded. I want to know what is troubling you, now! And I won't take 'no' for an answer." Antoinette had her hands on her hips; her well known authoritative stance. Her voice may have sounded stern, but her eyes betrayed her. They practically radiated her worry and sadness.
Christine knew that she had little choice in the matter. She had to speak up; keeping it all inside would eventually ruin not only her, but those that she held dear. She had to tell them… now.
