Lee took a deep breath and, even though he knew better, answered her question, "Nowhere, Kara."


Kara was knee deep in the following week's freighter unloading schedules when Anders came home. He had been off ship for the past week. Barolay had landed herself a job doing physical conditioning for the Marine nuggets, and Anders had gone over to the Picon Mariner to help with the first round. The woman had gotten the crazy idea that pyramid was an effective tool to evaluate the Marine candidates' physical abilities. If you wanted no-holds barred, 'oh that's gonna bruise' pyramid, then you called Samuel T. Anders.

"Miss me?" Anders asked, ducking down to steal a kiss.

Kara smile and nodded. She watched him throw his sweatshirt on their bed and start to settle back into the place he had called home for two months now. It was odd how when she wasn't looking, her life had shifted to something strangely resembling normalcy. "How's Jean?"

"Good." Anders unzipped his pyramid bag. "She did say she wished you could have gotten some time off to help. Testing the female candidates against me was a little ridiculous so Barolay didn't get the exact results she wanted there."

"Did you pick up a lot of Fleet gossip while you were there?" Kara asked, turning back to the still confusing freighter schedule. The Mariner had become the spot for rest and relaxation for all of the Fleet now that Cloud Nine was gone. It was one of the larger ships so there was room to spread your wings properly. Needless to say, that made the liner the spot to catch up on Fleet happenings.

"You could say the ship was a buzz with something."

Kara set down her pen. "Do tell."

"Well, let's just say it earned me some attention when the people at the bar realized that I was going to be one of the lucky few attending the most high profile wedding in the Fleet."

Kara's brow furrowed as she tried to figure out what he was talking about. Anders wasn't really the type of guy to be coy about things. He usually just said balls-out what he meant her to know. It was one of the most refreshing things about him. "What wedding are you talking about?" she finally asked.

Anders paused in the middle of unpacking and turned to look at his girlfriend. "Lee's, of course." Kara felt every last bit of blood drain from her face as Anders' words hit home. It was in that moment that understanding dawned on Sam as to why Kara was acting so strange. "Oh gods, Kara. You didn't know?"

Kara shook her head, unable to form the words to tell him that she had no clue.

"I'm sorry. I assumed you would be one of the first people to know about Lee and Dualla. The Fleet got word of it a few days ago so I guess it went down after I left for Barolay's training. It seems like Dee's going to be transferred over to the Pegasus in the next few weeks and then the wedding will be a few days after. It's being kept quiet since there's so much on everyone's plates right now with the settlement of New Caprica."

Kara bit her lip and nodded. She was grateful for the information and would have told Anders as much if she wasn't so stuck on the fact that she had been completely clueless as to what was going on in Lee's life. Why hadn't the Old Man given her a warning? And why the frak hadn't Lee taken the time to pick up the phone and tell her himself? It was a courtesy she felt she earned a long time ago.

"Are you okay?" Anders said, moving to stand beside her chair

"I'm fine," Kara insisted. She moved to wipe her eyes in an effort to snap herself out of this sudden funk and then picked up her pen again. "It's actually this stupid freighter schedule. I can't figure out how to give the ships proper protection with all the docking and launching. I barely have enough ships to do Galactica's half of the CAPS, and I don't want to put one single pilot on a double shift with a CAP and then a round of freighter babysitting."

"Kara…" Anders started.

"I'm fine," she hissed. "The Old Man wanted to see me for dinner tonight so he was probably going to tell me then." It was a complete lie, but Kara thought it sounded pretty convincing. "He's not going to be happy that you ruined the surprise."

"And Lee?"

"Would have told me in his own time."

Anders rolled his eyes. "Right. You two and your complications and history and secret arguments and public fights. I actually forgot about the special two for a few days there."

Kara flung her pen back down onto the desk. "That's out of line."

"I'm not your little soldier, Kara. I'm your boyfriend. I can say whatever the frak I want and not be thrown in the brig.."

"Really?" She could feel her teeth grinding as she fought to stay in control of her temper. She really didn't want to frak up whatever she had with Sam right now because she couldn't bite her tongue. She knew the sudden need not to screw this up had a lot to do with Lee's unannounced engagement, but right now she didn't want to think why that might be.

"I mean, you can kick me off this ship anytime you want. I am still a visitor." Anders reached out to touch her shoulder but thought twice about it. His hand dropped to his side. "I know you're upset even if you won't admit it. Your nose is crinkling, and you only do that when you're really excited or pissed off."

Kara cracked a smile even though she was still mad at Anders. She hated when he called her on her shit.

"Tell me what you need from me right now, Kara. Is it help with those schedules or do you want me to see if the Admiral can see you now instead of later? What do you need?"

Kara watched him for a minute before smiling. "A turkey sandwich." She was rewarded with complete confusion flooding her boyfriend's face.

"A… turkey sandwich?"

"It would help me a lot if I could eat. You know how crabby I get when I'm hungry."

"And why turkey?"

"Because I want it," she said, rolling her eyes. "Do I have to explain everything to you?"

Anders chuckled and shook his head. Leaning in, he kissed the top of her head. "One turkey sandwich coming up."

Kara watched him walk across their shared quarters and let out a deep sigh when she heard the hatch click shut. She laid her head in her hands and tried not to feel guilty for sending Anders on a request that would take him over an hour to fulfill. Turkey was a precious commodity these days even if it was the synthetically manufactured crap. Kara knew that when she asked for the sandwich.

It was a lot easier to explain a craving than to tell her boyfriend that she wanted to be alone. Sam wouldn't have taken that too well.

Kara sat back in her chair and waited until she felt her hands stop shaking. Lee was getting married. She knew this was coming. Every single one of the pilots stationed on Pegasus told her how the Commander was getting more and more serious about Petty Officer Anastasia Dualla. She had teased Lee about it a few times until she realized that her words only made him run harder and faster to his precious little Ana.

She shook her head at the small bite of anger and jealous that was currently residing in her heart. She had no clue where that had come from. She wasn't envious of the fact that Lee was getting married. She could be married in two seconds. All she had to do was tell Sam she was ready and that would be that.

She didn't resent Lee for his relationship. She didn't want what he had with Dee. Their relationship was a polar opposite to anything she had ever felt with its comfort and quiet and companionship. She didn't want that. She wanted screaming and fighting and passion that you couldn't live without.

Her eyes fell to the clock on the wall. Anders had already been gone fifteen minutes. She needed to focus on what had to be done before he got back. She didn't want Sam to hear this.

Her hand reached out to tentatively grasp the handset on her phone. All the right things to say started flashing through her head. I'm so happy for you. Congratulations. Anastasia is a great girl. You're going to be so happy. But when the line finally connected to Pegasus and was transferred to the Commander's quarters, Kara felt her whole body go numb. All those right things to say went right out the window.

"Pegasus Actual." Lee had just come off a lengthy CIC shift and was not in the mood to be wasting time he could better spend sleeping in his bed. Then he started really listening to the breathing on the other end of the line, and his heart caught in his throat. He didn't need to ask who it was. He had heard the gentle inhale-exhale night after night when he was stationed on Galactica.

The line was silent for five long minutes, and Lee was silently glad that his comms officers knew better than to cut into the line to check to see if everything was all right. They would scare her away. She scared so easily.

Her words were small and soft when they finally came. "Everything's changing, isn't it?"

"Yes," Lee said. His eyes shifted to look through the doorway into his personal quarters and rested on the bed he would be sharing with Ana as soon as the transfer went through. It was still something he was trying to get used to.

"I feel like…" The silence spread between them again, and Kara could feel her courage start to drain away. "Do I even have a part in your life anymore?" She winced at how desperate that sounded but swallowed down the discomfort and tried again. "Where do I fit in?"

Lee took a deep breath and, even though he knew better, answered her question, "Nowhere, Kara. You and I made that decision a long time ago."

Kara bit down on her lip to keep the tears inside. They were threatening to fall, and she was not crying anywhere near Lee. He was not going to hear her break down. "We did."

"So you heard."

"I heard."

The line went silent again. They both knew that an apology was the last thing that would be coming. Apollo and Starbuck didn't do apologies.

Eventually, it got to be too much for Kara to take. The handset clicked slightly as she set it down on the base. Her eyes fell to the papers on her desk, and the weight was suddenly too much for her. Snarling, she shoved it all away. The papers and books hit the floor with a loud bang. It didn't help.

Kara let her hands rest on the nearly empty desk as she fought to get her temper under control. Her eyes fell to one of the few papers left in front of her. It had been at the bottom of the stack where she had shoved it a few days earlier. The words echoed through her head as she read them.

I, Kara Thrace… officially resign… of my own wish and desire… release any right to fly colonial aircraft… final decision…

Her hand reached out for the pen. She willed her fingers to stop shaking as she signed her name with a flourish. It was done.