"This is for you, Kara," Lee said, cutting off the comm channel to her Viper and giving his XO the order to drive Pegasus straight into the base star before them.

A part of him always knew it would end this way. He was never supposed to be here with these brave men and women.

He was a pilot from Atlantia, discontent with the direction his life had taken. He was going to retire as soon as his commission was over. He served his time. He followed in his father's footsteps. He just had to push it a few more months, and then he'd be free.

Somehow, he knew he would try to find Gianne and repair what he had broken that day. She deserved more than what he gave her. She was a good woman.

Lee closed his eyes. He could hear his officers screaming out the points of damage on his ship. The comm channels were open. The voices mingled together to push and pull at him, dulling his senses.

He was never supposed to be here.

Every day he was here, things were happening that never should have been. Tom Zarek should have been shot dead long before he became a problem. Kara should never have been pushed to go to Caprica. Roslin should have been unseated before Gaius Balter got the lust for power. He should have given his life to save his father from that bullet. The Blackbird should still be around. Dee should be happily married to a man who loved her and didn't constantly wonder what if.

Lee opened his eyes to look at his CIC. These were his men. They trusted him.

They were fools just like the rest of the Fleet.

Turning to his comms officer, he steeled himself for what he had to do. "Patch me in to her Viper." There wasn't a question of who he was referring to.

He had waited until he got word that she was off New Caprica. He should have figured she would put off getting into the Vipers they stashed for the pilots down on the surface until the last possible second. Maybe if she had gone right away, he wouldn't have to do this.

Then again, maybe he still would have. Things had to be set right.

"Shouldn't you be focusing right now, Commander?"

"I need to say goodbye to you."

"If I'm not mistaken, shouldn't that be welcome home?"

Lee's eyes scanned the faces of his crew. They were smart people. They knew what was coming. Their shields were practically non-existent at this point. They had barely any ammunition left. The port side launching tubes had caved in, taking out a chunk of the hangar bay in the process. There was a gapping hole where the officers' mess used to be, and at that very moment, the oxygen they needed to keep on fighting was being sucked out into the atmosphere.

They were running out of options.

Lee turned to face the whole of his CIC. The comm channel was still open, but this was for all to hear. "It was an honor to serve with all of you. I never thought I would love doing this as much as I did. I want to thank you for that."

"Apollo, stop being an ass."

He ignored the harsh voice growling in his ear. "You will be remembered for the sacrifices you were willing to make to protect those we love. I can assure you of that. May the gods watch over us until the last."

"Lee." Her voice broke on that one tiny word, and Lee knew that she knew.

"This is for you, Kara," Lee said, cutting off the comm channel to her Viper and giving his XO the order to drive Pegasus straight into the base star before them.

Explosions started around him as the ship diverted all its attention into that one last driving force.

Lee found himself a lot calmer than he thought he would be. He suddenly understood that everything he had ever done had been leading up to this point. His life hadn't been the same since the second he stepped foot on Galactica for that decommissioning ceremony.

A blast knocked him to his knees, and Lee found himself thinking back to the day he had lost everything.

She had walked into his office like she had done every day since they found New Caprica. He didn't know what led up to it or why she chose this particular moment. All he knew was she said that she loved him, and his heart froze.

He was scared. Like always, happiness was staring him in the face and all he felt was a fear. A fear that he wasn't good enough to deserve this. He wasn't strong enough to have this.

He let her leave his office that day just like every day since they found New Caprica.

She didn't stay with the Fleet very much longer after that. It was like he blinked and she was married and living down on the planet and happy and content and all those damn things he was too scared to let himself be.

He was left up in the sky, free to be the weak soul he knew he was, free to keep this most painful secret to himself. Without her, he was nothing.

Lee could remember a phrase he heard too often in Academy. People always said that even knowing how it would turn out, they wouldn't change one thing.

People were stupid.

If Lee had a chance, he would change it all. The only question was which way would he chose. Would he keep himself on Atlantia and die in those initial attacks? Would he put himself on Galactica and chose to be more loyal in his choices? Would he chose Pegasus and be braver, more willing to take the risks presented to him?

Lee knew the answer in his heart.

As the CIC exploded around him, he knew there was only one place he had ever been destined to be.

And that he wouldn't change for the world.