A/N: Hello everyone! How are you? Hope you are all okay and staying safe. Really sorry for the long interval. I was having a really bad writer's block and it was just super awful. I took my precious time in writing this (and it is the longest chapter that we have so far) so I hope this makes up for my more than a month's absence. Anyway, let's get on with this! I hope you'll like it. :')
Doki = sound of a heartbeat
Thump = sound of a heartbeat but deeper
Disclaimer: I do not own HxH but I wish I had Togashi's brain.
Warning: Longest chapter I've written. Seriously, it's 17k+ words. Get your snacks. Line breaks are commercials.
TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCE
Chapter Thirty-Four
Untamed Hearts Are Dangerous
He's… an heir…
And his family… they're in… a book.
Could it be that it was all just a dream? A twisted narrative that she read somewhere and was now haunting her in her sleep? Could it be that she just drifted off once more in History class while they discussed criminal factions and their memoirs? If so, Sejin must be calling her name, poking her shoulder or tapping her slim fingers on her cheek for Mrs. Malu may have already noticed. But not a sign of her seatmate's presence lingered in the room, not even a single memory of a prologue with such topic from her History teacher.
Could it be that she was truly existing in reality at that time?
Killua.
How could this boy seem so illusory? How could he seem so extraordinary it's almost implausible?
Yuhi was taken aback by the situation. She thought she was ready for it, with her constantly desiring to discover him—get to know him a little better, understand his background and maybe even know of his family members. She thought she had anticipated herself to respond in the same way she did when he introduced Alluka as his sister. But at that moment, she just froze in time, unable to process anything, let alone think; unable to even physically react any more than a bat of the eyelids and a wetting of the throat. Because while she expected Killua to be a son of a high-ranking figure, she never actually expected them to come straight out of an anthropology novel.
She had no idea how to feel about it.
An heir.
For the nth time, she blinked and swallowed, mind blank as she stared at that box with that word swimming and multiplying inside her head. She had to chant it repeatedly on purpose so that she could get used to it, but her fully absorbing that bit of information about Killua, the boy she liked and had been sharing quixotic moments with, was taking too long, too dragging. Her brain couldn't digest it.
"Heeey, ramen girl, you okay there?"
She finally snapped out of her daze when Killua began waving his hand in front of her face. Quickly she shook her head to clear her thoughts and looked at him, meeting his wide-eyed gaze and feeling her heart thump loud. She realized that she wasn't looking at an ordinary boy anymore; she was looking at the successor of an infamous family found and written in books. Her hands suddenly trembled, palms moist as her breathing ran fast laps. Nervous; she felt nervous to be sitting next to an important person. But he's…
Killua broke the stare that lasted for seconds and veered away from Yuhi's face; his own washed in the lightest shade of pink. "Why are you looking at me like that?" he mumbled through pursed lips, modestly, bashfully. "Just thought I'd tell you to sort of explain what I said at the rooftop."
Another blink. "Well, I'm…" She didn't know how to respond to that. She didn't know if she should be responding to that. Her mind was too preoccupied to even bother thinking of how she should exude proper mien. But she had to say something somehow. But what… Another swallow. Maybe tell him the obvious first. "I-I'm surprised." Shocked. "Um…"
A few seconds passed and she could not continue her sentence. Killua allowed the pause—she figured he was giving her time to think it through—without moving a muscle, until his eyebrows creased, puzzled. "Are you actually scared? Knowing that I'm a descendant of a notorious syndicate?"
Scared…? Then as though someone had snapped their fingers in front of her face, Yuhi's senses jolted awake, triggered by Killua's impression of her reaction. She never felt even an ounce of fear. It came as a shock, yes, but not as dread, and she knew she had to tell him that. But the words came out as stupid and uncharacteristically as how her voice quivered from her throat. "I'm not!" she exclaimed tremulously, nervously. When Killua turned to look at her, she let her head down, face hot as she rummaged inside her brain for the right words to say, anxious of her impulsive tendencies—anxious of her mere self. She began to stutter. "I-I'm sorry, it's just that I'm…"
"You're what?" he abruptly asked. And while he sounded impatient, he was still gentle. Normal. Seemingly unaware that the girl in front of him was struggling to converse in his presence.
Yuhi was on a new level of shy, and Killua's tone made her crinkle her nose and crumple her shoulders. She wanted to hide from plain sight. I'm… "I'm just thinking…" Peering at him from under her bangs to check his expression was necessary before she could continue.
Killua remained in his position, nodding slowly, waiting, ushering.
How do I say it? What do I even say? She lowered her head even more, feeling her face warm with every second as she thought of it. Then slowly, the scattered emotions in her head began to form shape. And when she had a grasp of what it was telling her, she absentmindedly muttered aloud, "I'm with the heir… of a famous clan."
Said heir sat straight, a look of annoyance on his colored face. "Okay, you've got to talk properly now. What are you saying?" he pressed with forced calmness, crossing his arms against his chest and huffing lightly to compensate for his generous tone.
But thoughts consumed Yuhi's reasoning to even notice his display. What she was feeling was a different kind of fuss altogether—a state with which she was fully aware of their disparity in societal classifications. What will his parents think of me? Will I ever even meet them? Will he ever even introduce me to them? What if they don't like me? Am I even good enough for him…? Inwardly, she gasped, consciousness returning when she caught herself overthinking again of her position next to Killua, breaking the little promise she made with him that one lovely afternoon by the windowsill of her classroom. She had to stop herself before they nib at her rationale like ugly little parasites consuming her braincells. With her heart pounding loud, she took one deep breath and lifted her wide eyes at Killua to say, "You're in a history book!"
He blinked, surprised.
"I mean, well, your name's not there," she stammered, searching for invisible words in the air with her eyes, "but you're technically in there because you're part of the family." Yuhi felt the need to breathe slow and sure as the word Zoldyck flashed in her mind in a fancy marquee, before finally locking gazes with the boy who carried it next to his first name since birth.
"Y-Yeah," was all he could manage to respond to that.
"Can you tell me more?" she urged, leaning in without warning, her nervousness transforming into severe eagerness in a matter of seconds. The desire to uncover Killua's original milieu comes first, she decided. "Can you please tell me more?"
They stared at each other in silence for a while until Killua cut it by nodding and turning a page in the book.
He did tell her more, starting with events that happened over a hundred years ago, expounding on the details by pointing at key words and pictures page by page to better illustrate his descriptions.
And Yuhi was all ears, incredibly drawn into Killua's storytelling it was as though she was listening to an audiobook of an ancient chronicle. A tale about bad guys, she thought then upon hearing accounts on their felonies and manslaughter, gazing into Killua's eyes and finding it hard to comprehend that he was raised in a malevolent household with a dark past.
"They've killed so many people even the biggest names and richest guys who owned literally armies of men were scared," Killua stated coolly, glancing at Yuhi from the corner of his eye.
The latter nodded keenly, expression stern and firm when she caught Killua's swift gaze and small crooked smile—immediately shifting her eyes to the book again when she felt her heart race. But the fast beats never stopped even when Killua continued his narration, utterly engrossed and interested in subsequent accounts.
According to him, during the primal times, the Zoldycks were part of a secret army of assassins formed by an elite rebel group to fight against the monarchs. They were deployed at night to ambush parliament members, imposing death threats and declaring animosity toward their governance. It triggered the start of the most gruesome war in the history of Padokea—where Killua was born.
"This is incredible," Yuhi silently mused as her eyes scanned through the names of his renowned ancestors. "What happened after that?"
"Well, they won the war and my great-great grandpa and his brother left the alliance 'cause they didn't want to associate themselves with the government," he continued as he returned to the page of his family tree. "But they still accepted jobs from them. Underground transactions. They did the dirty work in silence. Eventually, they became famous among rich people. You know, wealthy mafia leaders and conglomerates who want their enemies' heads. It's a huge business in the underworld and my family, well…" A thin line of orange glowed in his irises as he lifted them up to Yuhi's. "They take pride in that."
Waves crashed inside her chest when Killua ended his last sentence. The way he said it felt like tiny daggers lightly stabbing her lungs. It did not sound like he was proud at all, but that it was a fact—an illicit profession passed on to future generations of his bloodline, that Killua himself could not erase from his existence. Or can he? "Is that even legal?" she asked, careful not to emit words she would regret ever saying.
Killua held on to their gaze before he answered, "It's not."
Yuhi blinked, a sense of concern filling up her head. "But how do you…?"
"Working with high-profile politicians has its perks." He shrugged and pulled the book to him, resting an elbow on it, catching his chin with its hand. "We're kinda protected. Pretty bigoted, if you ask me."
Protected… But still… "Does Ms. Malu know?"
Killua nodded, clearing his throat. "She knew since the first day of school checking the attendance. It's like she's seen a ghost or something. It's really funny." He snickered. "All the teachers know. I think."
Yuhi couldn't believe it. "How about your classmates?"
"Not that I know of. I mean, I haven't told anybody but Gon and you."
"No one asks?"
"Oh, they do. So, I'm Gon's cousin here." He snickered again.
But Yuhi remained serious throughout, mind full of questions. Still… "When you say working, do you do it personally or… someone else… um… does it for you?"
Killua blinked. "Personally."
Yuhi held her breath.
"But I haven't been given any missions yet." He let out a small smile before stretching and turning to face the table, stern gaze shifting to the thick book that rested on it. "They're grooming me for it, though," he said as he ran his fingers on the straight line that led to where his name was supposed to be, slamming a fist on the printed rectangular box when his touch reached it. "I've been training to become like them since I was baby. And I was good at it. A prodigy, they'd say."
Stillness engulfed the room as Killua's words echoed in her mind. Training? Grooming? "Is that why you're so good at archery?"
A slow, disappointed nod was what he responded with. "Name anything, actually. I might have tried them at some point. Mom made sure that I learn everything I need to know before I turn sixteen. Family tradition. It's like a ceremonial debut or something. It's stupid." He shook his head, scoffing faintly as he turned to the window to his right where Yuhi couldn't see his face. "I don't want it."
Despite the surge of emotions that lodged in her chest, the fog in her head was beginning to dissipate. The more Killua talked, the easier it was to understand the things she could not articulate. But something did not sit right with her at that point. Killua was born in a wealthy lineage. He was privileged enough to have all the resources to undertakings an ordinary boy could never even imagine ever having, and more. He said so himself. And that he was thriving in it. A prodigy. An excellent boy. An heir. If he didn't want to pursue their family business, couldn't he just easily dissolve it when he's finally given the throne? Couldn't he just refuse, rebel if he may, and not fly several miles away from his family to live a simple life in his best friend's house? Yuhi's eyebrows furrowed of curiosity as these thoughts hovered above her head. "What do you want?"
Without averting his gaze from the window, he answered, "I don't really know. I just know that I don't like it there."
Gon's voice then boomed behind her ears, followed by the image of a 12-year-old Killua covered in bruises and scratches. An upsurge of grief then eroded her senses. She was beginning to think that there
was more to his runaway ply than just simply evading heirloom. "So that's why… you ran away," she thought aloud, again, but with a new insight kicking in, staring at a strand of his hair that shimmered because of the afternoon sun. When he nodded, she took a breath. "Killua," she called. "Can I ask you something?"
He turned, facing her, eyes full of wonder, and waited.
"Gon said… Before, when you first came to the ramen shop, remember that? Gon and I were talking when you went to the restroom." She paused, hesitating. "Well, he kind of told me that you were full of bruises and scratches and scars when he first saw you. Where— um… Where did you get those?"
Another pause, and Yuhi swore her heart would combust with every tick of the clock. She wasn't exactly sure if it was fine to ask him about it. But she had nothing else on her mind other than that. It had, after all, stayed with her since Gon told her about it, and she figured it was about time she asked. The clock ticked another second; suspense building up in the room, suffocating her. A time bomb, that was it. But it was immediately disintegrated when Killua smiled, and then laughed. His cackles were sweet and cheeky, as though he never just told her about the horrific truth about his family before that.
"Man, Gon can never keep secrets!" He slammed a few hands on the table to express his amusement before taking a deep breath and looking at Yuhi. "Is that all he told you?"
Puzzled, she nodded. "He said that he wasn't supposed to tell." She bit her tongue. I broke a promise. "Should this be a secret?"
"Hoped so." He scratched his nose as the laughter minimized into a hiss. "I just don't like being asked by other people so much about my family background. It's annoying. They're annoying. I don't really wanna talk about them."
Yuhi's eyes were wide as she listened to what Killua was saying. "But you're telling me about them right now. Is that… Are you okay with that?"
"Well," he shrugged, a small crooked smile painted his pleasant face as he said, "it's not like you're one of the other people. And besides, like I said, I wanted to show you where I'm coming from when I said that thing about existing strategically. Do you get it now? I'm like a fugitive at this point." He sat upright and nodded to himself proudly.
But despite Killua's casual outlook on the matter, Yuhi remained stagnant, mind full of thoughts about his existence. He didn't answer her question, and Yuhi figured that she should not anymore dwell into a topic that he avoided—a topic he wished to keep to himself. She stared at him while thinking, understanding the fact that he had a whole future planned out for him, and realizing that someday, somehow, he would have to stop escaping and face his reality. And she would have to figure out where to stand when that time comes. "For how long?" she asked gently, head spiraling into an unknown expectation. "For how long can we keep you here with us?"
Killua seemed to be alarmed by the look Yuhi was giving him. He instantly erased his smile and replaced it with a small thin line, quizzical eyebrows meeting. "What do you mean?"
"What if… What if you…" She inhaled, searching for words. "Well, you're the heir of the family. I don't really know much about how it works but they will definitely need you there, right? Eventually, you'll…" Her voice trailed off, heart pounding loud as she struggled to say the words she didn't want to come true. "What if you—"
"Disappear?"
Thump. Yuhi's system suddenly stopped. That was it. That what she was thinking. That was what she didn't want to think of ever happening. Intently, she gazed into Killua's eyes, searching for golden streaks; his façade covered in a translucent shadow, his background a blur.
"Being locked up in that house was a nightmare. I won't go back. Not in a million years," he answered gravely, lips cracking into a smile—a smile that was the most forlorn Yuhi had ever come to witness him emit. "They can never touch me ever again."
If there was one thing Yuhi dreaded about Killua's past, it would be that she would discover how he grew up in a violent household, manipulated by his parents, mistreated and abused. She had hoped that her initial intuition was false, and that he only ran away because of a guileless, petty issue. But seeing him look at her with a desolate mask as he spoke those words with grit and spite, and with what Gon had told her before about him, she somehow understood that his childhood was cruel, a painful memory. Her heart ached; it was a kind of sadness she had never felt before, because she knew that whatever it was Killua carried with him in his heart, it was part of who he is. It would not go away. It could never be deleted.
But that doesn't mean that it can't be overpowered by new, happy memories.
Slowly, she reached for his cheek, brushing her right thumb delicately against his skin as her eyes examined his face. Yuhi had noticed it before; small, faint scars in the shape of tiny glass shards disguised themselves on his flesh—on his left cheek, on his chin, on the bridge of his nose, a faint slice on his right temple, on the left corner of his lips. Her heart caved when she finally met his eyes, the sea in them a deep shade of blue, dark but still vibrant, melancholic but still alive. A spark should keep them glistening; a spark she intended to ignite and keep on igniting.
Will that be enough?
She then pulled him in, shrouding his body in a tender embrace, the feet of their chairs screeching against the concrete floor as they braced for the light impact. She hugged him close, tight, wanting so badly to make him feel that he could be held with utmost warmth and softness and love. But is this enough? Is this alright? Killua, on the other hand, was unmoving. He was not returning it, and as much as Yuhi would like to think that he didn't mind, she couldn't help but check as she carefully whispered, "Is it okay if I… touch you like this?"
It only took a moment after she asked that she felt her cheeks burn of sudden embarrassment, realizing that she allowed herself to act again before thinking. She didn't know if what she was doing was helping, or if Killua actually needed it. She should have asked first before throwing herself at him. "S-Sorry!" she stammered, quickly unbuckling her arms and leaning away to get up on her feet. But halfway through, Killua had grabbed her left arm and pulled her back in; colliding against him with such force she lost her balance and gave up her weight. Killua tightened his grip around her shoulders as his chair reclined, lolling backwards until its feet slipped and they fall on the floor.
Yuhi closed her eyes to prepare for the blow, and when she opened them, the first thing she saw was the ceiling. She breathed in, feeling Killua's ribcage move in sync against hers and smelling the sun in his hair against her right cheek. She wondered if he could tell that her heart had stopped when he gently squeezed the back of her head with the hand that caught it, and when he buried his face deeper into the space between her neck and her collarbone. Her hands twitched as she let her arms enclose around him, planting her palms on his back.
"Are you okay?" he whispered behind her ear.
Yuhi was electrified. She nodded and hummed in response. "Sorry, I… I think I slipped."
She felt him snicker lightly and say, "Clumsy."
It's because you pulled my arm, ne, she almost said aloud to counter his snide remark. But instead a smile won by huge points, a smile brought about by an acceptance of comfort and care. At that moment, more than anything, she was glad that she was able to give it, she was able to show it, and that Killua had taken and held it in his arms. She tightened her embrace and pressed her nose against his shoulder, inhaling the scent of dried flowers and sugar in his uniform, savoring every second.
After a while, Killua gradually cradled her up to sit, loosening his embrace and pulling back a bit. A bit. Yuhi retrieved her arms and swiftly fixed her skirt, resting her wrists on her thighs to keep it in position. When she looked up, she met his gaze from six inches away, where she could see the reflection of the ending sunset in his irises and the faint blush on his cheeks. Her pulses raced—loud and firm—and she felt warm blood on her face.
Killua seemed thoughtful, eyes darting repeatedly from hers to the floor, blinking. Then he inhaled, fixing his gaze at her, burying himself in her auburn stare. "What if I…"
Yuhi swallowed and tightly balled her hands into fists when Killua's cool fingertips brushed against her right cheek. And she thought she forgot how to breathe, for with every second passing, his face came closer and closer until their noses touched and she had no choice but to close her eyes, and sense nothing but her heart beating loud.
But they paused.
A faint hum of rustling keys and footsteps resonated from the hallway and were sounding louder and closer. Yuhi gasped, mind instantly switching to fright. She was about to ask Killua if he heard when he gestured for her to hush. He leaned back and faced the windows where they entered, listening, waiting. The footsteps paused when it reached the front of the library, and not a second later, the fixtures of the locked door jingled as the person from outside attempted to open it. Yuhi scrunched Killua's sleeve in the process, not knowing what to do, afraid that they would get caught. Initially she thought of jumping out of the window and into the open field. A three-storey leap wouldn't hurt that much. Right?
Then it stopped, and the next sounds they heard were in-tune whistles and footsteps fading from their earshot. They let in a few seconds of silence before breathing out of relief in unison and relaxing. They looked at each other, then looked the other away, cheeks flushed.
"Well, that was exciting," Killua then shakily said as he moved his legs to sit in Indian style, scratching his nape and laughing sheepishly.
Yuhi mimicked him as she glanced, proceeding to pinch her nose to somewhat hide her hot face. "That was insane." She thought she needed to take one deep breath as her heart still hammered against her ribs from the sheer tension she just experienced. "We almost got caught." And we almost… Heh— In a flash, the picture of them sitting on the floor with faces just inches apart appeared in her head, and immediately she had to cup her cheeks and turn 180 degrees, her back facing Killua.
"H-Hey, is something wrong?" the latter asked exasperatedly.
Yuhi tensed even more. "Nothing! I just—"
"Then why'd you turn—"
"I-I'm just looking for someth—"
"What are you—"
"The time! I'm checking the—"
"But the clock's on the other side—"
"T-The sky!"
"Ha?"
Yuhi thought she was being ridiculous. But she felt so shy. And scared, so scared that she might actually lose control the longer she stayed in the library alone with Killua; scared of how much she felt for him now more than ever, of how badly she wanted to be with him. She heard him sigh—no, huff—and stand up. It calmed her nerves a little. So she turned, curious.
Killua was holding out his hand to her, instantly looking away when he met her eyes. "It's already six-o-five," he muttered under his breath, glancing at her, her glancing back—once, twice—until they settled in the gaze and Killua gave off a small cheeky smirk. "You officially broke school rules."
Yuhi blinked, and blinked again, before letting out hearty cackles—despite her raging pulses—biting her lower lip and reaching for his waiting hand. When Killua pulled her up, she found again the confidence to look at him, smile at him, grateful for the time he was giving her—most especially for opening his books for her and allowing her to read through his chapters. "Thank you for the free history lesson, sir," she said in between giggles, tilting her head to the right in the process.
And Killua was the one to turn around that time, burying his hands in his pockets and mumbling one timid, "Really weird, noodle girl," before grabbing the book on the table and disappearing into the shelves to return it.
The revelation of Killua's family played in her head while she waited for him by the window from where they entered the library. For a short while, she contemplated on the things she felt the moment she learned about it, wondering why those emotions suddenly felt so distant now—the uneasiness, the discomfort of having to hold the fact that their social statuses are poles apart ebbed as she fell deeper into his story. She couldn't explain it. And for now, she didn't want to bother thinking about it. The most important thing to her was that she's finally discovering him, seeing him in a new light.
And as Killua offered his hand to her from the other side of the window, waiting for her jump back out and into the hallway, with that same easy smile that she adored, that smile that she held dear to her heart the most, she realized that she was also discovering something about herself. When she crossed the ledge and slid the window shut behind her, looking at Killua and holding his hand while they walked along the corridors, she just knew.
That what she was feeling wasn't just a simple crush anymore.
That something in her had finally clicked, filling up the gaps in her heart, completing the puzzle she never even fathomed as curtailed, awakening her senses and shaking her core at the same time.
Killua.
Her breathing heightened when she screamed it in her head; her smile spreading wide with her eyes as she tightened her grip of his hand. Killua felt it and looked back, letting out an earnest grin, squeezing her knuckles and pulling her closer to him.
I love you.
Yuhi was on a high, a different high—a warm, lovely kind of high.
She had never felt so calm and free and giddy at the same time, as what she felt in days following her little date with Killua at the library. She slept with a smile on her face and woke up cackling from an adorable dream about her fluffy cloud of an angel. She felt excited coming to school to see him, to talk to him, to laugh with him, to just be in his bubble and bask in his sweet scent. Yuhi thought that she had reached the peak of her happiness when Killua asked her to hang out. She thought that that was it. She never knew that there was still another door in her heart that Killua could open and enter. She never knew that there was still a higher summit she could climb to and camp in.
She was so in love with him.
It felt insanely amazing, so amazing that she thought she should keep it to herself first; like having a secret crush on him all over again. Admittedly, there were times while texting that she typed in the words and stared at the send button for seconds, because she felt the immense need to express it, to scream it out, at him, for him. But she knew that if she ever wanted to tell him, it should be in person—maybe over a romantic date, or even while walking home from school. A perfect timing for the most perfect boy.
Perfect.
Yuhi could argue with several facts otherwise. She could easily list down flaws and faults that she found about him in a matter of seconds. Yet those could never overpower nor greatly influence how she felt about him. In her eyes, he was dazzling, remarkable. And even when she discovered his gruesome history, she saw his kind heart and warm smile. She saw a gentle big brother and a caring best friend. A diamond in the rough.
Yuhi thought about him and his background a lot after Killua revealed it to her. She could not explain the level of relief she felt upon realizing that she finally—finally—got to learn about his family. A deeper connection with him, perhaps; honored to be trusted with such fragile information. And as her mind drifted through and through, she realized how flawed and damaged he might have been this entire time. But at the same time, she recognized how astonishing he truly was, not because he's an heir to an ancient clan, but because he was fearless enough to free himself from the tortures of it. She admired him even more because of that and became even more eager to make him feel that he was cared for, to make him feel loved.
But she was not going tell him that.
Although, at the back of her mind, she figured that Killua might have already taken a hint. Yuhi wasn't sure if it was just her recent internal declaration of love for him that was making her notice his courteous behavior, or if there really was a change in how he had been acting towards her since he told her. But it was there, albeit subtle, and it was sweet.
She started to notice it when he and Gon came by the ramen shop on Saturday for the first session on Math lessons. Killua was in his usual cheeky self, bickering with Gon and teasing him, and even her, every chance he got. He even argued with Yellich over a problem-solving question for a solid twenty minutes—where she discovered that Killua was not at all weak in Math, but that he was just too lazy to study formulas and fractions. But the difference she noted was that he pulled his chair a little closer to her when Gon disappeared to the restroom, that she caught him several times staring at her while she explained an algebraic equation and looking away the second she met his gaze, and that he poked her cheek a lot more than usual and played with strands of her hair whenever he slumped in his seat for breaks.
Archery lessons felt heartwarmingly unusual too. Unlike their first session where Killua directed her every move from the bleachers, in succeeding sessions he was always beside her, helping her fix her stance, grip and posture, before allowing her to take her time in releasing the arrow. Back to basics, he had said, since she looked like she needed it, while she practiced on timing. He was a good tutor—better—but unlike their first session, she couldn't seem to keep her focus during the next ones, not when he kept giving her that daring stare whenever he stood by the bull's eye and told her to hit him, and when walking towards her his eyes were fixed on her chin, or on her nose, maybe, possibly, before lifting them up to meet her own.
Yuhi couldn't count how many mini heart attacks she'd been having whenever she was with him, and she was almost convinced that Killua was doing it on purpose for his own amusement. But as much as she would like to think that he somehow knew that she loved him and was returning it, she didn't want to direct her mind to that thought. Not yet. Not until she tells him in person, and she receives a reply. She should not expect.
Not yet.
So, she did her best to act and react as normal as she could. For the most part, she felt silly and ridiculous, because in those heart-pounding moments, she wanted more. She loved it. She loved everything that was happening to them both, and she wanted so much to throw her heart for him to catch. But she had to compose herself. She had to control it.
Not yet.
She had to muster all this energy into her homeroom project instead. She wanted to do good, after all, and to have fun with her classmates.
Valentine's Day preparations were going well. Yuhi was grateful for the teammates she chose as they all pitched in lovely ideas and had been thoroughly cooperating with her and the rest of the group since Day 1 of their project. It was rare for her to lead a team but with Sejin's help, she was pulling through. She loved the brainstorming process and what they had come up with after that—a mix of everything they had presented on the table; varying types of love.
"Homecoming," Yuhi mused while Mitan jotted down their ideas on the chalkboard come Monday after class. It was fitting, she thought then, because while discussing she realized that wherever she went, if she's with loved ones—family, friends, a beloved—she felt home. They felt like home. And as she expounded on this, her teammates gaped with wide eyes, as though they, too, had grasped its meaning and experienced the same on a personal level. There was a five-second pause in the air at that, before they all cosigned on the title with unified nods.
Mr. Yama easily approved of it the next day, and they proceeded with planning the design and materials to use that week. The following week, they busied themselves with preparations, regrouping with the rest of the class and working together to conjure their concept into reality. Every day after each class since then, they would occupy their desks with red, baby pink, pastel yellow, pastel orange, pastel purple and baby blue construction and crepe papers, cutting out hearts, airplanes, ships, houses, among others, and gluing the decors to nylon strings to form banners and ornaments to hang in spare spaces inside their classroom.
In between these sessions, Yuhi had been thronging together with Maru and the rest of the boys in her team to discuss plans for him and Mitan on Valentine's Day.
Maru's idea of a surprise confession was too adorable for Yuhi's little heart to contain. She squealed the moment he revealed it, instantly cupping her mouth and looking around to check if anyone roaming near their secret meeting place had heard. Luckily for her, students rarely passed by that side of the campus grounds—except for maybe Gon and Killua since they always hung out at the outdoor bleachers during breaks.
"Yuhinanana sure loves cheesy cliché romance stuff, huh?" Jinop elbowed her lightly, chuckling a little.
Yuhi nodded eagerly. She did. She wanted to see one live. Most importantly, she was excited to be part of it.
Maru hissed at Jinop then, counterattacking with the best defense he could think of. It was, after all, his idea. "It is cheesy but it's not cliché!" he whispered sharply before pulling out a pen and a piece of blank paper from his pocket. "Okay, here me out. Here's the plan. Like I said, it'll be simple and I'll just do it here on this spot. Yuhi,"—he pointed a pen at her, the same time she sat straight and saluted—"you said you'd give us chocolates on Valentine's, right? Like last year— Ow!"
An instant smack on the head from Taro. "Don't require Yuhi to give you chocolates, you dumdum," he said before crossing his arms against his chest and turning to the latter. "Don't feel pressured to do it, Yuhi, seriously."
The boys laughed as they playfully teased and tackled Maru.
Yuhi joined in on the chorus. She beamed. "No, it's okay! I actually plan on giving you all chocolates. I'm saving up for it!"
Taro sighed.
Maru pushed the boys off him and huffed. "See!?" They proceeded to ruffling his hair instead but retreated into snickering when Maru gave them death glares. He exhaled and cleared his throat. "Okay, look here."
With the click of the pen, Maru illustrated how he wanted his grand confession to happen. It was simple, cute and sweet, Yuhi reckoned, and she was thrilled to play a major role in it. She was so excited she almost told Gon and Killua one archery practice that week while they were sitting on the bleachers taking a break, chatting about their homerooms' Valentine's Day preparations. It was a slip of the tongue; a mention of Maru's name before she stopped herself from talking.
"What about him?" Killua had asked after a short pause, eyebrows meeting of curiosity.
Gon blinked, waiting.
Suddenly put on the spot, nervous, Yuhi initially responded with a shaky chuckle, biting her tongue while she thought of how to save herself from further spilling secrets. "Uh… You know him, right? I heard you hung out before?"
Gon and Killua both looked at each other before nodding, and with Gon answering with a vibrant "Yeah, we're the P.E. boys! Mr. Tenoshiru and your P.E. teacher Ms. Juno usually needed help with equipment after P.E. class and we're tasked to do it." He beamed. "What about Maru?"
Yuhi swallowed and cleared her throat, eyes searching the air for words she could say that would not sound like she was revealing anything confidential. "Well, what do you think of him?" Good thing she had this in her mind for a while. Might as well ask the boys about it—as an alternative. "I mean, for me, he's a good guy and girls will definitely like him. What do you think?" Does he have a shot with Mitan? Do you think she'll like him back? Yuhi earnestly waited for what they would answer, completely forgetting that she had accidentally opened a topic about Maru, and now focused on wanting to know if they agreed with her. But the sudden stillness in the air bothered her a little. She blinked and cocked her head to the right, inherently questioning why Gon turned to Killua with wide eyes and nudged him in the elbow, and the latter staring at her with trepidation and a raised eyebrow.
Gon broke the silence with a rather shaky laughter and an arm around Killua's shoulders. He nodded in agreement and exclaimed, "I absolutely think so too! He's really nice to us and I don't see any reason why anyone would not like him. Right, Killua?"
Yuhi smiled. Somehow Gon's words gave her confidence that Maru would not be let down by Mitan, that even if he ended up getting rejected, Mitan would still accept him as a friend, that she would not hate him in the end for falling in love with her. She turned to Killua in anticipation to what he would answer Gon, meeting his quizzical stare, still. She blinked.
Killua nodded—slowly. "Yeah?" He took a breath, and in exhaling his features softened a little. "Yeah, okay."
Gon laughed.
Yuhi found it weird. But she decided to just let it go and share wide smiles with Gon to end the topic. She wouldn't want to dwell into it as she was afraid of saying more than Maru could ever allow.
They finished the decorations on the second week of February, Monday after class, four days before Valentine's Day, and Yuhi couldn't be prouder with what her team and her classmates had accomplished together. Their classroom brimmed with soft pastel colors and ornaments that represented familial love, friendship and romance—paper roses, small lanterns, heart cutouts—that hung on their ceiling, spread across their windows, on the door, and a huge banner at that top of the chalkboard that said "Come Home to Love" designed with drawings and pictures of roads and vehicles.
For Yuhi, it was a sight to behold, not only because it was a beautiful concept, but because it was what she personally held dear to her heart at that time. She felt like she was experiencing all types of love being portrayed by their own theme, and she was grateful for it and for the timing. Valentine's Day was the best season for her to express her appreciation and love for her family, friends, and for Killua.
She felt the need to set him apart in her heart now. He held a very special place in it after all.
"Chocolates!" Yuhi bounced on her toes as she walked towards the school gates the next day, beaming at her brother to answer his question on what she was cooking on Valentine's Day for her special someone. "I'm gonna give him chocolates!" Her heart swelled as Killua's sparkly blue eyes flashed in her mind; the reaction she had anticipated him to express when she would give him sweets on Valentine's Day.
Yellich wrapped a tight arm around her shoulders, almost hugging her, while he giggled. "You two are so cute!" he exclaimed, squeezing her tight, burying his cheek on her noggin. Yuhi almost stumbled in her step while laughing. "You're so cute so cute so cute so cute! You'll make it, right? I mean, you'll bake them yourself and you're gonna put them in one of those cute little bags and you're gonna give it to him in the open field or near staircase in the hallway?"
Yuhi laughed even more. "You've been watching way too many cheesy romcoms from Roroturo-san's DVD collection, ne!" she teased. But in her mind, she thought, he's absolutely right!
Yellich squeaked as they turned a heel to the staircase going up, faking sobs. "Look at you giving chocolates to the boy you like on Valentine's Day. I can't—" He sniffed, stopping in front of Yuhi's classroom door. "Don't grow up too fast, please."
In between her cackles, Yuhi felt her heart dropping of awe because of what her brother said. She pushed her bottom lip to form a pout and wrapped her small arms around his waist. "I'll give you some too, you know." She buried her face in his chest as she smiled. "You sound and smell like Roroturo-san now."
Yellich snickered and was about to speak when someone near had made their presence known by boisterously clearing their throat. They both turned their heads to where they heard it come from, meeting Killua's horrified stare and Gon's bubbly smile.
"Good morning!" the latter greeted with an unending sunshine on his face.
"Yeah, isn't it too early for weird hugs in the hallway?" the former supplemented with a raised eyebrow.
Yuhi shared looks and sheepish smiles with her brother before they pulled away and greeted Gon and Killua both a good morning, with Yellich complementing his with a hearty cackle.
"Come here, grumpy," he said as he spread his arms wide, cheeky grin directed at the silver-haired boy. Yuhi pressed her lips together to suppress a wide smile, noticing how Gon was doing the same when she glanced at him and met his gaze. Killua, on the other hand, once again looked mortified. "You look like you need huggies, come on."
Killua slowly shook his head no, glancing at Yuhi and giving her a look that said take him away now.
She snickered.
Yellich noticed, and his instant retort was to grab Yuhi's shoulders and lightly push her forward. "You'd take one from Yuhi instead?" He beamed.
Doki.
Gon laughed—no, he guffawed—so loud with Yellich; Yuhi just knew that the entire second floor had heard them from their classrooms. Meanwhile, her cheeks burned as she gawked at Killua's big blue eyes that stared right back at hers, face a little red, before he broke the gaze to hook Gon's neck in a tight armlock, chanting "Stupid" and "Idiot" and "Shut up" while the latter wheezed and snorted from laughing too much.
As he recovered, Gon ushered Yuhi and Yellich to see how they did with the Valentine's decorations inside their classroom. Yuhi had seen it several times while walking past their open door and windows, and she thought how superb the finished product looked. There were so much red and hearts that when one took a peek inside, they'd feel the love in the air. It was what they wanted to achieve, according to Gon, and they got through pretty neatly—as expected from the Star Section. She told them that.
"Yours is amazing too! You did a great job, Yuhi," Gon commended with a huge smile on his face, knowing that Yuhi led the design and conceptualization team, which Killua seconded with a proud nod, and Yellich supplemented with a semi-hug.
"Thank you! My classmates are just awesome!" She beamed. "Good thing we finished yesterday. I now have the time to buy some ingredients before Friday." The school bell then rang right after her last word, and immediately they waved and said their goodbyes.
She was in an especially good mood that day as her plans for Valentine's constantly filled her head. Yuhi decided that she would buy ingredients after school, and thinking about what and how she would bake the chocolates instantly made her feel like she ate a ton of it and she still wanted more. She told Gon and Killua about it during the afternoon break. Giving chocolates on Valentine's to people she loved was a natural thing for her to do after all—also it was a universal tradition—so she never put too much thought into whether she should surprise them. But seeing their reaction—especially Killua's—made her think twice if she ever did the right thing.
He just stared at her with a look of surprise on his face for two seconds before he nodded slowly and shrugged. "Cool," was his response after that, a word he said while looking at anything and anywhere but her face.
Gon's cackles were limitless that day. He said he was just excited, but he kept on glancing at Killua and poking his shoulders while Yuhi spoke.
At that, she decided that she would not invite them to join her in buying ingredients. Since she had dropped the bomb already, she could at least surprise them with what she would bake. Firmly she asked them to go straight home and not follow her to the bakeshop, to which they conceded with an "Okay" and a "Let us know if you need any help". That afternoon, she regretted not inviting Sejin over instead. She ended up not buying because she couldn't decide what to make.
The following day she asked Killua if they could postpone archery practice that week because she wanted to give herself enough time to prepare the sweets for Friday. He easily consented. And it was weird because Yuhi had expected him to tease or ask her about it, but Killua was particularly quiet on the subject of Valentine's Day Chocolates. It started to trouble Yuhi while she thought about it during Third Period. She knew that Killua loved chocolates, so him acting nonchalantly about her giving him some was strange. Would he want a pricey over-the-counter box instead? she thought then, his supposed expensive taste swimming unpleasantly at the back of her mind. She instantly shook it away, though, still determined to bake him chocolates that he would love. But what would he like?
Yellich was busy with their classroom decorations that day, so Yuhi had lunch on her desk in their classroom instead, chatting with some classmates and asking Taro and Maru what type of chocolates they'd liked—for reference.
"Anything," they answered, and Yuhi couldn't respond with anything but a face-palm.
She asked Sejin, who was busy reading a thick hardbound book, what type of chocolate her brothers liked. But she answered with a shake of the head. The twins weren't allowed to eat sweets because of health-related reasons. Plus, she said, "Their teeth would crumble." Yuhi sighed at that. Looking out the window and seeing the clear blue sky, she decided to take a little walk around campus for some fresh air, hoping she would bump into Gon and Killua, and maybe take off her surprise hat and just ask them what they'd liked.
The first quarter of the year was always the freshest despite of the cold. Frost bit Yuhi's flesh under her jacket as she stepped outside of the building, and she loved it. She loved the smell of the wind and the touch of sunshine on her face. She regretted not asking Sejin to join her. Then she reckoned her seatmate would surely not choose anything over a good book anyway. She looked around as she walked in the open lawns of campus. It was quiet and peaceful as most of the students stayed inside of the building during this time.
She was walking along the gym's premises when she paused in her tracks, seeing Gon sitting alone at the topmost level of the outdoor bleachers, a few meters away from where she was standing. Excitement instantly filled her lungs, and out of impulse she almost ran towards him, but once again stopped when she traced where Gon's eyes were fixed.
At Killua.
He was standing under the shade of a tree in front of the bleachers, facing a girl who looked just about their age. Or younger? A freshman? The girl was speaking to the grass, her brown hair fanned over her pink cheeks. Killua was perfectly still with his hands in his pockets, expressionless.
Yuhi could only watch their inaudible conversation. She couldn't seem to move from where she stood. The girl's lips ceased moving, lifting her eyes at Killua who's already done talking after her. There was a pause, and Yuhi watched as the girl covered her face with her hands and ran to her direction, her wide auburn eyes followed until her shadow disappeared into the building. Then she absentmindedly turned to where the girl was seconds ago, locking gazes with a pair of blue orbs. Both blinked.
"Yuhi!" Gon hollered and waved a hand, jumping off the bleacher. He ran to her and had a big smile when he reached her, obstructing her view of Killua. "Sorry, we didn't see you!"
She blinked and focused her eyes on Gon. "Hi… Who was that?" she slowly asked as she gestured towards where the girl disappeared into, her voice tiny. She felt that she should not have seen that, mentally arguing that she should have just walked the other way.
"Well," Gon scratched his nape, "I think she's a freshman. Her name's Aoi. She wanted to ask Killua out but—"
"Don't waaanna," a lazy voice cut in from behind Gon. Killua threw a heavy arm over his shoulders, a red box wrapped in a purple ribbon in his hand, looking a little irritated. "I don't even know her," he grumbled.
She asked if he would go out with her? And she gave him chocolates?
"But you could have said it nicely, you know!" Gon argued gently, careful not to flip a switch.
Killua huffed and shunned his gaze away.
Yuhi had her wide eyes at Killua. She was beginning to realize once again that he was that one boy any girl would fall for, and she was one of them. She's just like everybody else. How many boxes of chocolates would he get from other girls on Friday? This week?
"Sorry if you saw that, Yuhi." Gon laughed sheepishly as he scratched his nape. Yuhi thought that he wanted to sound reassuring, but she barely heard him. Her mind was echoing something else. Just like everybody else… Giving him chocolates on Valentine's Day…
Killua made a sour face to nobody on his side and grimaced before spitting out "Not a big deal" and peering towards Yuhi's direction. He blinked, eyebrows curling of confusion. For a second there Yuhi thought that he looked like a kid guilty of breaking mom's vase. She heaved a sigh. "What?" Killua mumbled.
Yuhi understood that she had been staring too much. But she couldn't help it. It was as though she was trying to see him from another person's point of view. And in doing so, she thought of how amazing it was that Killua was this popular to girls. He wasn't even doing anything to and for them. He just plainly existed, and they loved it. She blinked to break it. "Nothing," she managed to say. But she wanted to be honest. "I was just thinking. About something."
Gon then suddenly came into frame again, palms in the air. He still had this sheepish smile on his face. "Nothing to worry about, ne, Yuhi?" he asked, again with that reassuring tone in his voice. Yuhi knew that Gon was trying to appease her emotions—especially after witnessing that ugly breakdown she had when Killua joked about Alluka being his girlfriend.
But Yuhi was fine with it—at least she felt fine when she saw—because she knew all along that it was a given fact. She just forgot for a while. She was having too much fun hanging out with Killua that she forgot that he was that boy. But she was fine. So, she let out a little smile and nodded to Gon to appease him. He looked worried. She then turned to Killua who was waiting for her gaze and gave him a smile and a nod as if to say that it's okay, and to affirm her decision to not be just like everybody else. I must exert extra effort, she thought to herself as they walked back to the building. I have a lot of competition, ne!
She didn't ask them in the end. If she wished to step up her game, she had to come up with something unique herself. Throughout the rest of the classes in the afternoon, while her mind took small breaks from lessons, pictures of Killua eating chocolate occupied it, finding ideas out of those moments that she could use as basis—resisting the urge to giggle in her seat because he always looked cute while munching on a bag of snacks.
It wasn't easy because she saw Killua loving almost all types of chocolate that she knew, and her head ached a little because of it. She thought that she should just head home that day and talk to Roroturo or Yellich about it, see what they could contribute to her little project. But as she walked together with Gon and Killua to the school gates, she saw something that instantly flicked on the invisible lightbulb in her head.
There.
Hanging from Killua's bag was the Chocolate Robot charm Gon gifted him for his new phone. In a flash, her smile grew wide, scolding her brain a little for not considering it sooner, for not thinking of it when it was the most obvious.
When they reached the gates, quite abruptly, excitedly, she waved a hand and said goodbye after reminding them again not to follow her for she would be going to the bakeshop straightaway. She was so thrilled of the idea that Killua's non-response and bemused wide-eyed gaze did not bother her even a bit.
He'll love it.
Killua felt ridiculously awesome.
For some reason, after telling the ramen girl about his family, he felt a little lighter, relieved, eased. He thought of it before, a swift passing through his mind, that he should reveal to her what and where he came from sooner or later. However, he kept deferring it. Maybe he forgot, or maybe he never bothered thinking too much about how he would say it to her. Moreover, hanging out with ramen girl was too amusing for him to even begin talking about his awful family history. To him, it was unimportant. To him, it didn't matter that much.
Or so he thought.
Undoubtedly, the suspense in the air when she gave him that solid look of utter shock after he showed her their family tree suffocated him a little. It was insane how anxious he felt until she affirmed that she was not scared. He earnestly thought that she was. He solemnly feared that she was. The last thing he would want was to terrify her into running away from him and never come back. He had experienced it before; he had experienced it several times before he met Gon.
His best friend was the first person to accept him as a human being, and not as tool of destruction and chaos, after learning that he's heir to an elite criminal clan and how he was brought up for being that. The second person—well, people—were Mito and Grandma. And throughout the years of being with them, Killua had never again felt the distress and terror of losing friends because of his name.
But when he told ramen girl about it, he felt it once more, but it was a little different. At that time, he cared about how she might feel about it. At that time, he badly wished that she would not slip from his grasp. He didn't want to let go of another friend. He didn't want to lose her. Reprieve washed over him like warm water on his icy skin. He was incredibly surprised at how she took it; more so, how she acted as he went deeper into his narrative. That hug from ramen girl was the warmest he had felt after a long while. It was the tenderness he never knew he needed—most especially, to come from her.
He wanted more of it.
Killua figured that that was it. Opening his secret doors for ramen girl to enter gave him a sense of familiarity, and he was drawn to her even more. Sometimes he caught himself just wanting to be closer to her, to feel her presence next to him. He figured it was because of that short-lived hug that he couldn't get enough of. But he noticed that he was starting to become wary of how he moved next to her—cautious of how to respond to her every move and gesture, worried that he might do or say something that would turn her off. It was weird for him to think of himself as such because he was Killua, and Killua was unapologetically blunt.
Was it because at the back of his mind, of her knowing already that his relatives are murderers, he was afraid that eventually he might scare her off? Strange. He was never like this.
It was weird. But it felt familiar. He was aware that he had experienced it before—way back several months ago before the big confession night at the Winter Festival. He thought by asking ramen girl to hang out, it would somehow calm his wild nerves down. He wasn't wrong, but he wasn't exactly right. Ramen girl still made him feel funny; he just got too distracted by spending fun times with her that he never really took note of how his pulses would hammer so much just by the thought of her. But now, here he was, sensing the sparks from meters away, electrifying him to his bones. It's outrageously nerve-racking yet so incredibly sugary.
He did his best not to think about it too much. Ramen girl's company was becoming more and more absorbing and her sunny air was positively affecting his mood by the day. She moved around him in tiptoes, gracefully dancing to the beat of Spring while he watched her from the corner of his eyes—astounded by her smile, comforted by her sweet laughter. It was as though he never just told her about his horrific secret; as though she was never even affected by it after finding out. But he didn't want that to change. He didn't want her to change—to feel the need to adjust her reception, to become self-conscious of how she expressed in his presence—just to compromise with his presently weird sense of self.
It wasn't easy, though, because with every look she gave him, it would feel as though his heart would burst, and in effect his face would burn so hot he would have to look away; he had to regulate his blood flow; he had to control his breathing. And fact of the matter was that ramen girl always—always—looked at him with a lovely smile on her blooming face; which meant that Killua always—always—had to sort himself out in an instant. He had to act normal, appear composed, despite his raging heartbeat.
Gon didn't notice him being odd whenever they were with ramen girl, and Killua had the afterschool class activity to thank for it. Gon couldn't stop talking about Valentine's Day—his classmates, too—and he figured it was because of the decoration contest that they were preparing for. But, he wondered, even after they finished on Monday afternoon, why practically everyone in school was making a big deal out of it. What's up with it anyway? Was he supposed to be doing something on that day too?
The answer to the questions he couldn't even believe himself to be thinking about appeared in the faces of random girls coming up to him at random times to give him letters and chocolates, confirmed by Lykira when she saw him walk to his desk with two red boxes in hand.
"Kind of a heartthrob we got here, huh?" she mocked, gliding menacingly with arms crossed against her chest and a small impish smirk on her face. She hopped on Killua's desk.
The latter sighed and grimaced, too worn out with facing girls that weren't ramen girl to even argue against Lykira. Two's just too much. Three's breaching my patient nice-guy meter. He stared at her jadedly and flatly said, "Please get off my desk."
Lykira snorted, unmoving, still teasing. "Grumpy."
Killua groaned. "I said please."
She snickered.
He snapped. "Dude, what's up with you? Why do I have to deal with stubborn girls today? I'd to deal with Gon's blabbing about being nice and keeping cool too!" He slammed the boxes of chocolates on Gon's desk and ruffled his hair frustratingly. "What's with this day!?" He seriously needed some peace of mind. It's only half past twelve in the afternoon—lunchbreak.
Lykira wasn't exactly the person Killua wanted to ask these questions to. There wasn't exactly a person he wanted to talk about these things to. Gon, maybe? Ramen girl? He didn't even know if he wanted an answer. He just had to get it off his chest because it was starting to bug him. But Lykira still said it, and after hopping off and walking away, Killua found himself thinking and rethinking.
"People are more courageous with expressing their feelings at this time. Valentine's Day is coming up. You know, the season of love."
Killua was aware of the essence of February 14, but what got him halting was the first thing Lykira said. Expressing feelings. That explains the random confessions he received from people he didn't even know. But, should he be doing something? Should he be professing his love and giving chocolates too? That sunny smile and twinkling auburn eyes appeared in his head then, stunning his heart. It was weird—so, so weird—because for the first time, in his head, ramen girl stood next to the word love; and somehow, the scrambles in his brain slowly decoded themselves and the puzzle pieces suddenly fit. It was a full-on stop, a shockwave, a moment of silent tremor.
Crap.
That afternoon felt even more weird and awkward, at least for him, but he was unbelievably ecstatic—so much so, that he thought he should be suppressing it somehow. Ramen girl was going to give him chocolates—she said so herself—and the eagerness he felt was indescribable. Was it because of the chocolates, or was it because he knew what it symbolized?
"Cool," he said in his most normal tone, clearing his throat afterwards to tone down the rave party already happening in his lungs.
Killua found himself smiling every waking day after that, opening his eyes and feeling energy shots already flowing through his veins even before his alarm clock rang. He wanted the hours to go by fast. He wanted Friday to come sooner.
Gon noticed his good mood but he didn't press questions in his face. He just stared at Killua one morning for a solid ten seconds before beaming and pogoing away to get ready for the day. Killua wanted to tell Gon about his newfound breakthrough. He wanted to share with somebody what it was that was boiling under his skin—to hear someone else confirm or invalidate what he was feeling. But he didn't want to pressure himself into that. So, he let it invade his whole system while he waited; he let it lance through all the gaps of his bones. He liked how it felt. No, he loved how it was making him feel.
The boxes of chocolates from random people instantly became class 2-A's delight. Killua gave them away—although Gon insisted that he should take them home instead—and never had even a single bite. Gon and his classmates called him harsh sometimes. But he didn't care, not when ramen girl's homemade chocolates were on his mind all day and all night. It's what he wanted. It's the only chocolate that he would fully accept this Valentine's season.
Killua had only hoped that she wouldn't feel discouraged upon seeing another girl give him some. The second he saw her from across the lawn, staring at him with surprise written all over her face, he instantly wanted to throw the box away. But that would be rude. It would look awful, and he didn't want to appear awful in ramen girl's eyes. It was a good thing Gon was there, and he was sort of glad that he opened the topic about going public again when they reached their classroom. He was already considering it. One more random confession and he might.
"Have you talked to Yuhi about telling people about you two, by the way?" Gon asked.
Killua shook his head. He was supposed to do it on that day when he revealed his family to her instead. "I forgot." And something else was on his mind at that time. Something else clouded his reasoning at that time. Something that almost happened. He felt his cheeks burn when he remembered it.
"Well," Gon smiled, looking around as they propped in their seats, turning to Killua, wide curious eyes sparkling with the reflection of the afternoon sun from the windows, "don't you wanna tell them yet? If you don't like receiving chocolates from other people, might as well tell them about Yuhi, right?"
But should he do it, though? Was he ready to be bombarded with questions? Was he even ready for ramen girl? "I'll think about it again," he said, eyebrows furrowing a little, mind full. He wasn't sure. What would they even say?
Hey, wait a minute.
He then sat straight, big blue cat-eyes blinking. In that moment, he realized that something was amiss. Sure, they were hanging out. Sure, they let each other know that they liked spending time together. Sure, she told him she liked him, and he told her that he wouldn't know what to think should she had rejected him. But what bugged him suddenly was the uncertainty of it all.
What are we even?
Tomo Academy brimmed with the color red that Friday. Heart cutouts. Paper roses. Homemade sweets. Mushy gazes. Blushing cheeks.
It's Valentine's Day, and Yuhi was running on four hours of sleep.
She slept at ten in the evening and woke up at two in the morning. It was unnecessary. She could have baked the cookies the night before. But she ran out of time with perfecting the chocolates for Killua—relieved that she finally got them to look like the ones on her sketchpad after failing the entire Wednesday night and about seven times last night. Her back ached so much and her hands were incredibly sore but boxing the chocolates and packaging the cookies—leaving some on the ramen shop kitchen's table for Roroturo—compensated for her exhaustion. Thinking about the people she would give them to gave her so much joy, and she knew that was enough to get her moving throughout the day.
Her missions were set: a) accomplish Maru's plans on telling Mitan about how he felt, and b) give the box of chocolates to Killua. The latter wasn't exactly a difficult task. She just wanted to isolate it in her head as it should be special.
Yellich had the fattest bag of cookies—double the quantity—which he started munching on inside the bus going to school. It was delicious, he said, faking sobs while he rubbed his cheek on his sister's forehead, chanting thank yous and I love yous. It made Yuhi even more excited to give the rest to her friends. The instant she entered their classroom, she dropped off small cookie bags on their desks—except on Maru's—with the last one landing on Sejin's.
"Hmm, where is she?" she mused curiously as she checked her seatmate's things. It was odd that Sejin was not at her desk when she arrived. Restroom, maybe? Yuhi smiled to herself and shrugged. She set her things in her chair and slowly placed the paper bag on her own desk, careful not to shunt it too hard on any solid surface. She stretched her neck to check the remainder of the bag of cookies and the sole box of chocolates inside, eyes tracing the royal blue ribbon wrapped around the latter, feeling her heart flutter while she thought of the boy she would give it too. I hope he'll like it. And as though the content peeping from the transparent lid tickled her, she giggled and shrugged her shoulders. Forcing to suppress one wide smile, she took her phone out of her bag, eyes smiling when she saw Killua's reply to her most recent text.
"ok but chocolate or vanilla?"
They were talking about ice cream flavors.
"hmm… i kinda like vanilla more :)"
Killua was telling her about this ice cream store that just recently opened at the center of town. He initially asked if she liked ice cream and if she would want to try it. Yuhi had to force her brain not to think that he was asking her out—just the thought of it made her feel as though her heart would explode.
"good to know i can have chocolate ice cream to myself hahah"
She laughed. Okay, Killua alone made her feel like she's a lit-up dynamite.
"you can have all the chocolate you want in the world! haha" she typed. Then she thought about the chocolate that she made for him. She looked at the paper bag on her desk, playing the scenarios she made up in her head for when she would finally give it to him. They were sweet and cute, she would admit, but somehow, she didn't feel right about doing what others might have done already. She was, after all, trying to set herself apart. With one deep breath, she nodded to herself and added, "chocolates from me are here! :)))"
Send.
At least he'd know that he can get it from me anytime!
She looked up while waiting for a reply, sighting Sejin walking to their area with a small box wrapped in pink ribbon in hand. Yuhi's smile was wide when she met her seatmate's green eyes. She greeted her a Happy Valentine's ecstatically, gaze shifting instantly to the object in Sejin's hand to ask what it was.
"The chocolates are from Gon," Sejin answered after a swift good morning and thank you for the cookies Yuhi left on her desk.
The latter's eyes instantly grew together with the letter 'o' formed by her mouth. She had to bite her lower lip to keep her throat from emitting the squeal that already echoed in her brain. Gon! She observed Sejin's usual nonchalant guise while she probed. "Gon, huh?" She cleared her throat, smile growing wider. "Gon gave you chocolates. That's cute of him. He's cute, huh?"
Sejin pushed the bridge of her glasses and sat on her chair, arranging First Period things on her desk. "Yes, he did. I think he's distributing it to his classmates. He just happened to see me in the hallway" She looked at Yuhi and raised an eyebrow. "Similar to what you're doing."
Yuhi was aware that Sejin was dismissing whatever it was that was swimming inside her head. But she couldn't help it. She had to purse her lips to keep a straight face. "Yes, but he still gave you some." She cleared her throat once more, summoning her normal tone of voice. "Did you give him something in return?"
"No," Sejin flatly answered. "I keep telling you. I do not believe in Valentine's Day. It's a silly capitalistic ply to get people to buy unnecessary amounts of chocolates and flowers, when you can buy and gift them to loved ones on a normal day."
Yuhi nodded slowly. She had memorized this line from Sejin that she heard her say almost every hour of last year's Valentine's Day. But you still accepted them, she wanted to counterattack—not to piss her off, but to make her admit that she liked these things too. However— "Okay, Pres!" —she caved, raising her hands in surrender, smile huge and cheeky. "I'll be giving him cookies too! He said he likes chocolate crinkles."
Sejin subtly grimaced. "Good luck with that." Her tone was slightly bitter, making Yuhi tilt her head of confusion. Sejin felt her gaze and sighed. "You know that today's peak absurdity, right? Gon and I met in the hallway because he was talking to some Freshman girls who were also giving him chocolates." Sejin paused, turning to Yuhi to read her eyes. They were thinking. She took a deep breath. "Okay, I apologize for the negativity. It's still so early too. Enjoy today, Yuhi."
But the latter's mind was already full of thoughts—thoughts that she was trying not to dwell in the past two days. However, she was aware that she wouldn't be able to escape hard facts. Killua would probably receive a lot of chocolate boxes that day, and possibly confessions and letters too. Tomo also had the prettiest girls she has ever seen in her lifetime. So, what if? What if he was suddenly lovestruck by one? What if someone else caught his eye? What if someone else took his breath away?
"Earth to Yuhina."
She looked up, big auburn eyes meeting sharp jade ones. Sejin's eyebrows creased by the second, but Yuhi's flexed even more at a sudden thought. "Ne, Sejin, do you think he likes me back?"
Sejin blinked, puzzled frown fading into that signature thin line, jaundiced gaze stern behind her thick-rimmed glasses. "Are you serious?" Her tone was indifferent, incredulous, as though Yuhi just asked if H2O meant water. "You've been spending all this time together and you still think that he doesn't?"
Slightly embarrassed, Yuhi tucked a lock of hair behind her ear and looked down. Well, maybe… "A little?" When Sejin chuckled, she looked back up.
"Have a little faith in yourself." Sejin smiled, and it was the kind that always made Yuhi imagine butterflies and lilies blossoming in the background. "If you're worried that Killua might decide to be with someone else, don't be. You're already that person."
And as though an arrow had hit her in the gut, she paused. Her brain was not ready for those words at all, and it was denying them access to infiltrate her rationale. Yet her heart was beating loud against her ribcage. It was happy. It was dancing. Hearing someone else tell her that made it blush so immensely she was feeling warm blood being transported fast to her face. Finally, she permitted her lips to form a smile. Yes, she was going to accept that. Yes, she was going to believe that. For once, she thought, she should allow herself to be blissful without forcing the sour aftertaste of it in her mouth.
Seconds later, a small crumpled paper had hit her in the forehead. It was a note, again from Maru, reminding her of the plan.
You ready? Afterschool. Same spot outside. Wait for us to disappear before you go. I owe you one! ~Maru~
The giggle she made was loud enough for Sejin to turn to her curiously. She shook her head when she met her gaze and turned to Maru from the other side of the room who was smiling goofily at her. Yuhi returned it and gave a little nod. But their mental telepathy was shortly cut by her phone's notification beep. A reply from Killua.
"i'll come get it afterschool. make sure it wont melt ok"
Yuhi just had to suppress a wide grin forcing its way across her face. Good thing the weather's a little cold, she mused. But afterschool, too. Hmm… She let her mind picture what would happen afterschool and think of possible excuses for Killua to wait a little while she completes her promised task for Maru. Then her eyes lit up with a brilliant idea in mind.
"it won't ne! let's meet at the outdoor bleachers afterschool :)))"
She could easily run there once she's done with it. Plus, it seemed romantic. Cliché, perhaps, but still romantic. She looked out the window while she imagined herself standing in front of Killua, his blue eyes gentle, his small smile warm as the wind puffed through his silver hair in all the right places. She smiled at a cloud in the sky, once again dumbfounded by the fact that she would be giving chocolates to the boy she loved on Valentine's Day.
Twing!
She sighed adoringly and pulled her phone to her face to read that boy's reply.
"can't wait :)"
Yuhi was certain that she would be the one melting first and not her chocolates.
There were only a select few items in Killua's favorite things in the world list, and they all made him incredibly excited he always felt as though he could run a marathon for one whole day just by the thought of getting his hands on them. The top three would probably be good videogames, adventures with his best friend, and chocolates.
Killua was undeniably eager about the latter on Valentine's Day. Just smelling it in the air the moment he stepped on campus grounds made his veins jump. But what made his lungs churn the most was the thought of getting them from ramen girl. He found it absurd yet funny; the way he saw and smelled chocolate everywhere, but his brain insistently registered her in it instead; the way he thought of Valentine's Day, and any other day for that matter, but her face appeared behind his eyelids instead, and every single time, his heart would violently flap its wings inside his ribcage.
Ramen girl was effortlessly climbing up the top spot of his list, and he was not about to complain.
"What are you smiling about?"
Killua's instant response was to sit upright and rearrange his facial muscles to mask the wide grin he was aware he was emitting. He cleared his throat and looked up at Gon. "Nothing," he said, as though Gon wouldn't already know the answer to his own question.
The latter beamed. Yup, he knew. Why did he even ask in the first place? "Are you meeting Yuhi later?"
"Yeah, after class." Killua observed the chocolates Gon placed on his desk, eyeing each in his pile, catching one that fell off the table. "Why do you have so many?" he asked, lifting his bamboozled gaze at his best friend's face. Gon was bringing small boxes he bought the day before to give to friends, and Killua was sure they didn't look like these. "Are you done distributing your chocolates?"
Gon nodded happily then proceeded to placing some small bags and boxes one by one on Killua's desk. "Actually, no. I haven't given Yuhi's yet. Haven't seen her yet. But there, these ones are yours! These are mine!" Killua was at lost for words. The chocolates filled his and Gon's desks. The latter stood straight, cackling sheepishly. "Quite plenty, huh?"
Killua had to give a big nod at that. Just how many people we don't even know would want to give us this today? "Guess it's a chocolate party for the whole class," he mused, blinking away all the red and purple-colored ribbons from his sight. They were just too overwhelming. Even Gon couldn't argue against it.
"So, did you get one from Yuhi yet?" Gon asked as he propped in his seat.
Killua shook his head while his eyes looked for a free space to put the chocolates in. "After class." He decided to place them on the shelves near the window and his seat.
"Why not during class?" Gon asked curiously when Killua returned.
He paused while looking at Gon, thinking of how to say the reason behind it, or if he should even say something at all. He chose the latter option, shrugging. "No reason." Other than I'm saving the best for last. Plus, he would also be giving her chocolates. He didn't want to feel surrounded with many people loitering about when he does it. Briefly, he imagined how it would go about later, and it was an instant blood-spread on his face. When Gon blinked, he looked away, as if avoiding eye contact would prevent his best friend from asking more questions.
"Well, that makes sense, I guess." Gon cocked his head to the right when he caught Killua's gaze. Then he blushingly smiled. "I'll go with you to give Yuhi the chocolates I got her. But I'll leave right after."
Ha? Killua fully turned to face him, a huge question mark masking his expression. "Why?"
"I got asked out!"
Killua blinked, now interested. "By who?"
"Kira!"
An eyebrow twitched. The witch? Seriously?
"It's not a date." Gon laughed. "She said she was going to give flowers to her mom, and I said that's a great idea! I should give Mito-san flowers today too! So, she asked me to go with her."
Killua narrowed his eyes at his best friend. He felt a little vexed about it—just a bit. But if this were to happen before he met ramen girl, he would have thrown a frenzy already. "Were you going to tell me? Or even ask me to go?" he asked calmly, but with a small hint of ire in his tone to rattle Gon a little. He succeeded.
Gon sat straight and leaned forward while he justified his actions. "Yeah, I was!" he exclaimed persuasively, almost shouting the words. "That's why I asked first if you have a date with Yuhi today—!" he then gasped, stopping himself from talking by covering his mouth with his hands.
Killua's eyes grew wide of severe alarm. The question mark on his face instantly transformed into triple exclamation points. Gon was loud. Too loud! They stared at each other with surprise circling their air, both unable to turn to check if anyone heard because they were certain that the entire class did.
Holy crap.
"Yuhi. Yuhina from 2-B?"
Crap. Crap. Crap. Crap.
Slowly, as though the joints in their necks had oxidized, they turned to the person—no, people—sitting at the row of seats in front of theirs, bodies twisting to face them, wide, curious eyes blinking. Killua gazed back into them, unsure of how to make of the words inside his head, absolutely lost the capability to regulate his raging pulses. But was his heart still beating? It felt like it had stopped. It felt like he got hit by a truck running at 300 kilometers per hour.
"You're dating Yuhi from 2-B?"
Exclamation points. And a three-letter word that starts with Y in all-caps. Killua's brain had nothing in it but these characters. But should he say it? How should he say it? He had not prepared himself for this. He had not talked to ramen girl about this. What would he even say when they ask more? What were they? Was dating even the right word to describe what they were doing? It felt like his skull was about to implode and explode at the same. He didn't like it. He had to let it go. He had to let it be.
What was even thwarting his ability to scream it at will?
Killua swallowed a huge amount of liquid and glanced at Gon before returning to his classmates' expectant gazes. Argh! Screw it! And with one last thump from his mental stopwatch, he took one deep breath to say "…Yeah," as his head spun, and his palms sweat of tense. But he also felt the sweet release of freedom from his gut.
"Yeah… I am."
Yuhi found it odd how random 2-A students she passed by in the hallways stared at her for a number of seconds she could count with two hands. At first, she thought they were just being extra nice and friendly to strangers since it was Valentine's Day. So, she returned their gazes with a smile of her own. But while they did smile back, the look on their faces read of something else; something about her that seemed to have piqued either their curiosity or confusion. At one point, she walked past a pair of 2-A girls who were whispering to themselves while giving her elusive glances. Yuhi smiled at them, and they were lovely enough to smile back, but still, it was strange.
Was there something on her face?
She asked Sejin this question after getting at least ten pairs of quizzical stare-downs from 2-A boys and girls. After a thorough inspection, Sejin noted that there was nothing peculiar about the way she looked. She also examined her face in the restroom mirror. Nothing. She looked perfectly normal.
At lunchtime, after getting another confirmation from her brother that there was nothing off with her appearance—she was even blooming that day, he added—she sent Killua a text to tell him about it, carefully sliding into the topic of something weird, asking if anything new in their class happened that morning, informing him of his classmates' abnormal habit. It took a while before Killua replied, but when he did, Yuhi knew that something was up.
"let's talk about it later"
What is that? Did she do something wrong? Did their teachers say something about or against her? Did Ms. Irisa expose her for often forgetting about Science homework? Or did Mr. Yama ranted to them about her sleeping in Mrs. Malu's class two weeks ago? Yuhi thought about it throughout the rest of the Subjects. She so badly wanted to talk to Killua about it too, but she had not spent time with him so far that day. Killua refused to step out of their classroom during breaks, and Yuhi was too preoccupied with pending schoolwork to even insist on grabbing snacks. She had it in her mind until the last period, but she had to shake it off the minute Mr. Eli had said goodbye to the class.
Say not to personal thoughts for now. It was time to carry out Mission Maru and Mitan.
The moment Mr. Eli disappeared in the hallway, Yuhi had her eyes at Maru's group, catching his gaze before he winked and rushed outside with the whole gang. After counting to ten, she smiled to herself and got on her feet, head turning to the left where Mitan was seated. Great, she mused. She's still here. Quickly she greeted Sejin one last Happy Valentine's, waved a hand goodbye, and sprinted to the first row, the string of her paper bag of sweets hanging between her fingers.
"Heeey, Mimi-chan! Happy Valentine's!" She hailed, heart fluttering as she watched Mitan's gentle face crinkle a smile.
"Yuhi-chan! Happy Valentine's!" Mitan's small voice quivered of excitement, tone stepping an octave higher at the end of her sentences. "Thank you for the cookies. They're really good. I already ate them all!"
Yuhi couldn't help but beam. "I'm glad you liked it!" And they exchanged hearty cackles before Yuhi took a breath. Game time. "You and Maru walk home together, right? Have you seen him?" She lifted the bag in her hand. "I haven't given him his cookies yet. He kept on disappearing." Yuhi briefly recalled the times she looked over their area that day and finding Maru's chair empty each time. It was part of the plan—the buildup.
Mitan tiptoed to check the boys' row. Finding no one from Maru's group present, her eyebrows creased. "Well, we talked about going home early today." —also part of the plan. "I wonder where he is."
Bingo! Yuhi smiled so wide she wished her face did not look like she just solved the most difficult math problem. She gestured excitedly to the door. "Wanna go look for him together?"
Mitan black eyes shined like marbles when she smiled. "Okay!"
Yuhi did her best to divert Mitan's attention from the path they were taking by talking nonstop. Finals and the overflowing schoolwork were the best distractions. Mitan was aiming for a spot at the Top Five in class after all, and she did nothing but study after the Winter Break. Her parents wanted her to put her best foot forward in the academe, and she dreamt of graduating with honors to help her with college scholarships. Yuhi only supplied questions to their conversation. She had no answers to them yet herself. Mitan then asked about her and Killua, which she answered with a shy smile and a shrug, telling Mitan that they were spending time together and talking everyday; a little embarrassed of the fact that she had more to say about him than her plans for the future.
By the time Mitan said that they would make a cute couple, they were already outside, walking to the promised bench. Yuhi easily spotted the five boys when she shifted her gaze ahead, feet skipping steps with her heartbeats.
"There he is!" she exclaimed, pointing forward and ushering Mitan to hop with her towards them.
When they reached small squad, Yuhi immediately gave the cookies to Maru, itching to be relieved of her finished task—legs eager to dash to the bleachers to be with Killua. She did a swift turn toward it to spot a silver head, but he wasn't there yet. Yuhi returned to their small group and shared goofy leers with the four, with Jinop placing an arm over her shoulders and grinning proudly—as if to say, good job, we did it. She smiled at Maru, who was looking at Mitan with cherries on his cheeks. She turned to Mitan, who had her head tilted to the right, curious eyes blinking at Maru. She looked at Taro and shared an accomplished nod. He nudged Maru in the elbow.
The latter's shriek made everyone laugh. Well, except for the clueless Mitan.
"We'll go ahead," Taro said coolly.
"Yeah, shift's early today," Suno seconded.
"Homework."
"Videogames."
Yuhi giggled under Jinop's grip. She just looked at Mitan and smiled.
"Oh," Maru mused, finally breaking his own ice. Dazed by the emotions in his head, perhaps, he looked around, blinking. "Okay, then."
Yuhi shared ludicrous smiles with the four boys again before they snickered in unison. Jinop tightened his armlock around her neck as he cackled silently, making Yuhi laugh. They waved goodbye, uttered one last Happy Valentine's Day, and turned a heel to head to the campus building. Yuhi was about to say goodbye to them herself in the process, but halfway through, she felt a tough hand around her wrist, pulling her arm, and the next thing she knew, she was spinning out of Jinop's grasp and seeing nothing but white and blue, a necktie, and colliding against it. The smell of dried flowers and candy instantly infiltrated her lungs, and her heart leapt and leapt until it reached the clouds, recklessly skydiving without a parachute when she looked up.
Killua.
Did he just…? She blinked, and then gasped when she realized that she was still with her classmates. In a flash, she turned back around, meeting their dumbstruck stare—the kind that looked as if they had seen a ghost, or an alien, or Killua Zoldyck from 2-A, or Killua Zoldyck from 2-A yanking her off Jinop and wrapping his arm around her shoulders in front of them.
E-Eh!?
"Ah!"
That familiar voice breathed warm air back into Yuhi's system. She slightly relaxed and turned to her right, sighting Gon's apologetic smize. He was waving his hands in the air in an attempt to lighten up the precipitously strained air. But the pause seemed to have made itself at home. It was the first time that her classmates, specifically these five boys, never made any teasing remarks for her in Gon's presence. They were silent, and it felt like an impending nuclear explosion.
"Killua, Gon, hey," Taro began prudently, blinking and looking around to meet gazes, but it was only Gon who returned it to him. Inquisitively yet as normal as he could sound, he asked, "What's up?"
"Hi!" Gon greeted back enthusiastically, hangdog smile not leaving his face. "We're supposed to meet Yuhi at the bleachers and we saw you here and we—"
"You're supposed to go that way."
Yuhi froze when she heard Killua's voice, heart racing when she saw her classmates' eyes shift from Gon to him behind her. So, she turned, meeting his stern gaze. "I—"
"You're supposed to meet me there," he demanded in a ruffled mumble, retrieving his arm and crossing them against his chest, waiting for a response, or an explanation.
But Yuhi couldn't seem to let words out of her mouth. Her brain had ceased dealing with her reasoning. What was she to say? What was she to do? Oh, right, she was about to go there when Killua stopped the show by stepping in their bubble. "I—"
"Oh."
Yuhi turned around again, a knee-jerk reaction to Jinop's sudden musing. She waited for what he would say, observing how his flabbergasted expression gradually transformed into artificial travesty. He gave off a little shaky laugh, a nervous, hesitant laugh—an effort, or struggle, to coerce their usual banters.
"Sorry Yuhi. We didn't know you'd be meeting with Gon and—"
"Oh. No."
Killua. Again.
"She'll be meeting me, not Gon."
That wiped the smile off Jinop's face. He blinked and looked at Yuhi. Yuhi looked at Gon, who only responded to her with an awkward shrug and a faint "Hehe…" Then she shifted her staggered gaze towards Killua again, who, when he caught her eyes, raised an eyebrow.
"What?" he asked, the lines on his forehead materializing as they furrowed. "You said to meet me there."
In her internalized confusion, Yuhi was beginning to feel blood rushing up to her cheeks. Her classmates were hearing everything Killua was saying. She felt like she was being exposed. They knew nothing about her and Killua, and she had not thought about how to tell them. She had not thought about how explain what they were. She was not even sure yet how Killua regarded her as. For some reason, she wanted to run as far as she could. She wanted to get away from there first and speak with him in private. For some reason, she felt shy about them witnessing Killua talk to her normally—as how he did when it was just the two of them. "Yes," she managed to choke out in a whisper. "I was just about to—"
"Because you're gonna give me chocolates."
The blood on her cheeks seemed to have spread to her nose.
"And we're gonna have a little Valentine's date."
Heh—!
No, it had filled up her entire face. The second Killua said the word date, she grabbed him by the wrist and dragged him away from there—far, far away, where her feet led them, where her relentlessly thundering pulses dictated her legs to sprint towards.
"H-Hey!" Killua called out behind her. "Wait a sec! Why are we—" he panted. "Ramen girl!"
I don't know! she screamed in her head as it spun. She took turns and ran, and ran, and ran as fast as her heartbeats did, ignoring Killua's appeals to stop for a minute, until they reached a corner on the side of the campus building near the fence, where club members stored their mega-sized props and mascots. Yuhi let go of Killua's arm and placed a fist on her chest, back arching downward as she gasped for air.
"What was that!?" Killua questioned in a badgered tone, heatedly throwing his arms in the air for emphasis on his rattled upshot. "Why'd you drag me all the way—"
"I don't know!" Yuhi howled back breathlessly at the grass, pulses hammering all over her body, heartbeat unstable under her clutch. They did not seem to be decelerating any sooner. She looked up at Killua, and meeting his irate stare, she had the urge to dispute. "I should be the one asking you! What was that?"
But Killua was not about to cave. His eyebrows creased of confused agitation. "What do you mean? I was just telling the truth."
"Yes, I know. But why were you suddenly telling them that?" She inhaled. She didn't want to say it but— "Were you making fun of me?"
"What? No, I wasn't!"
"It felt like that!"
"I wasn't!"
"But why did you have to say those things? I haven't told them anything about—"
"That's why I said it! I wanted to tell them the truth!"
Yuhi's eyes grew wide of wonder and alarm. She suddenly had this taste of honeyed realization at the back her throat—that Killua meant a different kind of truth. But her brain was refuting it. Extreme confusion washed over her because while her feral mind insisted on arguing, her heart was once again frolicking blissfully in a sunflower field. She had no idea what to think or do, aside from pull all her hair out, so instead of a rebuttal she frustratingly grumbled, "Killua!"
"Yuhi."
But like a jammed film reel, with the gust of the wind, everything came to a stop.
Her exasperation dissolved when she heard him say her name—to her, calling her, catching her attention. Bewildered and wonderstruck, she lifted her wide eyes at his austere gaze, stunned by the way his sharp brows arched at their tips.
"Listen," Killua pressed, strict yet soft, chest palpably moving in sync with his heightened breathing, silent steps closing in the gap between them, stopping three feet away where she could see the blush in his cheeks. He eyed the ground as he spoke, muttering. "You have no idea about how I feel about this. And I'll admit I was kinda caught up in teasing you and your friends like that. But I did say those things on purpose."
Yuhi held her breath to control her raging pulses. It felt as though her heart would burst right out of her chest at any minute. Killua was about to tell her something insanely prodigious, she was certain. It's the way he glanced at her in between sentences; the way he allowed for a pause to look her in the eyes and struggle not to break free from it; the way he searched for words on her lips and pressed his own; the way he inhaled a massive amount of air and cleared his throat before he breathed out the words.
"Let's go out. Like, officially, if that's a thing."
Thump.
"Well, only if you want to, that is."
And like the sun shining its rays on sleeping plants to give them life, Killua's words tugged the corners of her lips for the sweetest, most ardent smile she had ever known herself to give to another person—a person that she deeply, truly loved. Her person.
"I want to, Killua. I want to be with you."
Killua smiled, and it was the kind that Yuhi wanted to own, to keep in her heart and in her dreams, to take with her anywhere she goes—serene and relieved, peaceful and pleased. He let out ruffled chuckles as he nodded, and then he exhaled, perhaps releasing the ball of nerves that had formed in his chest. "I think I need those chocolates now."
-Chapter End-
Sooo, how was it? This chapter was super long. I thought of ending it with a cliffy but it won't feel right. Also, it's a V-Day chap; I had to capitalize on its shoujo-ness.
What do you think? Did it bore you? Would really appreciate your honest reviews at this point. I'm becoming more and more self-conscious of my writing by the day and I don't know if that's okay. But I know your reviews would be of great help. Please tell me what you think of the story so far. What do you think of the scenes? What do you think of Yuhi and Killua's relationship so far? Man, I had fun writing this, not gonna lie, even though I've struggled to construct sentences. I hope you liked it. :')
Replies to guests~
NoodlePooh: Hi, love! I squealed the second I saw your review just a few hours after I published Chapter 33. Thank you so much for waiting patiently for this and for screaming about it in the review box! Really, really appreciate it. Thanks for saying that the family reveal was a a little abrupt. It really was, but I felt the need to surprise readers with it, just as much as how Yuhi was surprised. Let me know what you think about this chapter too. Thank you!
Mai: Hello, Mai! Thank you for the review and for hearing my cries at Tumblr about not being able to update. Haha! Writer's block was really bad. I hope you're still here for this chapter! I'm so glad that you liked the previous one, and for typing in your thoughts as you read. I loved reading your review! Oh, and don't worry about telling me how this story should be written. I absolutely love it when you do. It helps me in writing too. Thank you for sharing that story about when you were 14; that was cute. Hope you leave this one a review as well. Thank you!
Jonica77: Jonica, hello! Thank you so much for leaving a review! About Yuhi seeing Killua as "perfect" I'm kind of doing it on purpose. But I'm taking note of this. I agree with you. She should see the bad side soon. I'm sure of it. Thanks again! Hope you review this one too.
Guest: Hiii! Thank you so much for telling me what you think of the chapter! I'm glad you liked Killua's POV. Tbh, it's one of my fave things to write. Hope you review this chapter as well! Thank you and have a nice day too!
NEXT CHAPTER: Word's out that Killua and Yuhi are dating. How would their classmates process this information? Archery practice and math lessons are back as scheduled once again. Finals is coming up and they need to focus. But could they?
I have a lot of fluffy ideas for the next chapters. Hope you'll stay tuned for these. And please keep sending in reviews; it means a looot. Thank you again and stay safe! For student readers, good luck with school! Yuhi's praying for your mental stability and peace of mind. You can do it! Hang in there. xx
