A/N: Hello everyone! How are y'all? I've been out for 3 solid months so I feel like I've missed out on a lot, but here I am bringing some fluff. Sorry it took a while. I had a lot going on ;-; Anyway, let's get to it. Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed, followed and fave-d! Seriously, that was the longest chapter and yet it's the most reviewed yet since I came back. Y'all really read that entire 17k-words mess that I wrote and I am grateful. You give me dokis and I love you. Here's the latest chapter. I hope you'll like it! (Again, I'll be saving the long A/N at the end of the chapter, and a little announcement.)
Disclaimer: Killua's the cheesiest character is HxH; you cannot change my mind.
Warning: Long chapter (but not as long as the last one, I promise, it's 13k+)
TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCE
Chapter Thirty-Five
Sugarbear
One week.
It had been a week since he put on the cheesiest show for ramen girl and her friends that one faithful Valentine's afternoon on campus grounds, a week since he let go of doubtful thoughts and expressed what he desired, a week since he called her by her name and made it official, since he tasted the sweetest gift she made for him, since he held her hand and felt a different kind of rush—electrifying, magnetic, liberating, lovely.
New.
It was a surprise, even to him, that there was more to the exquisite bliss that had already camped inside his chest before that day. There was fear, certainly, and nerves, qualms, a hint of hesitation, but they were all overpowered by the teeming ardor that tickled his lungs. He was incredibly eager to step in her light, to feel her sunrays on his cheeks, to breathe in Spring from her air. He wanted everyone to know that there was this ramen girl, and her name was Yuhi.
Yuhi.
Killua had no idea that her name was the key to the secret lockset in his brain. It was the key to the chest hidden deep within the valves of heart, unlocking an abundance of sunshine and chocolates. Saying it made him feel as though there were wings in his ankles; or an alternative to the word cheese that one says before clicking the shutter for a photograph, producing sanguine exhales and an idyllic smile.
It was nice. It made him picture a flower field whenever he muttered it to himself, but it also made his pulses go wild, out of control, so he's sticking with ramen girl to address her. It was too funny to let go—fitting, adorable. Yuhi, on the other hand, could stay in his head for now. But this time, not in passing, not just an idea, because at that point, she's real, soulful, breathing, in flesh, and she's his.
Silly, was what he always said to himself whenever his thoughts jogged swiftly to the fact that they're now exclusive. Sappy. Cheesy. It was preposterous, because even though he roasted his brain with words that were supposed to stop him from thinking about ramen girl—even just for a minute—his lips willingly curved into a smile. It was as if there were tiny Yuhis multiplying in his skull at lightning speed, prickling at the tiniest of his veins with their fingernails and cackling right after. It was instant energy boost, but it also meant that he spaced out a lot, which, he was aware, he should regulate.
Could he, though? Could he minimize the number of times in an hour he would think about her? Could he focus on Math and History homework, when every pace and every gaze reminded him of her? Should he? Would he?
In a way, he liked how his classmates teased him about it. He liked how Gon was joining in on their chorus every time they noticed his mind wandering frivolously to the trees outside in the middle of Economics. In a way, their banters validated what he felt and what he did, and he was loving how they were recognizing Yuhi as his girlfriend.
Pffffft, girlfriend. He thought it was unnecessary, really, and pointless. Sappy. Cheesy. Silly. What's up with labels anyway? Because Killua, while he knew of the concept of relationships, didn't want theirs to sound like the norm. He wanted it to be distinctive in his head—which, he realized later, was just a poor excuse at defying the labels he first thought were stupid, because, somehow, it was growing on him. And he wanted to find out if ramen girl also regarded him as its equivalent in his category.
That was the tricky part of his week. He couldn't just ask her what she referred to him as outside of their bubble. He couldn't just ask her if she talked about him to her classmates and friends, like what he always did with Gon and, at times when they probed, his classmates.
It was a good thing Yuhi never waned in telling him about how her day went. Come Monday after Valentine's week, she told him, while walking her to the bus stop, that her classmates found out about it. He prodded for a follow-through, secretly seeking the words he wanted to hear, hoping for reassurance for his foolish heart. But what he felt next was vexation and unease and strife. It was definitely how they reacted upon hearing it from her.
"They thought it's a joke, actually. Or a prank. Sort of," she muttered hesitantly, forced smile obvious under the 4PM sun, and Killua was not about to ignore it.
"Why?" he followed up immediately, brows meeting at the center of his forehead without removing his gaze from her.
But Yuhi just shrugged and proceeded to ask him about his day.
For a second or two, Killua thought about whether he should demand a proper explanation to that outlandish comment, but he let it go. Reading how Yuhi had uncharacteristically changed the topic as soon as she started, he figured she didn't want to talk about it. So, he went along with what she wanted to hear from him until they reached the bus stop and waved goodbye.
But still, it bugged him.
How could they think that the idea of him and Yuhi was farfetched? How could they reduce what they had as a sort of prank? Were they too good to be true? He honestly didn't give a damn about whether they thought she had a thing for Gon. What riled him up so much about it was that they couldn't accept the concept of her liking him, Killua, instead. Was that it? Or could they not believe that Yuhi was more than qualified to be with him? It was stupid. There wasn't even a need for qualification; no criteria were set in stone. That would be insincere and, well, dumb.
When night came, alone and wistful on his bed at eleven o'clock, tossing a pillow with his fingertips like a volleyball as his mind glided through, he contemplated on how he should respond to this. He felt like he should do something. He wanted to make it his business. Because once upon a time, he didn't care much about how he moved around her. But now, it should be different; he should be careful and unrestricted at the same time. He wanted own that title—silly, sappy and cheesy, but accurate, appropriate and flattering—her person, her boyfriend.
So, he did—
—waiting by their classroom door for her before breaks and dismissals, waving at her from across the lawn or court during P.E. class, smiling at her in the hallways, walking her to the bus stop after school, buying her candies and snacks whenever she's too busy to go out during breaktime, delivering them personally to their classroom, having lunch together on school grounds, holding her hand when no one's watching.
Killua felt like something in him had been unleased that week, because while he knew that every action must be calculated and precise, it all sprung out naturally. He wondered if it was humanoid instinct, but he didn't want to think about it too much. The most important thing for him was that ramen girl seemed pleased—cherry cheeks, bright smiles, sunlit eyes—and that alone felt rewarding.
Would those count as boyfriend points? Whatever. If she's happy, then he must be doing the right thing. Plus, he was having fun himself, like a little boy who couldn't wait to play with the neighbor's kid after school, always looking forward, anticipating, expecting. And not once was he disappointed. But then again, he didn't think he would ever be let down by anything Yuhi would do or say. She was just a wonder in his eyes and good music to his ears.
Lovely, charming, in every way.
He forgot all about what her classmates initially thought of their relationship as he went along his shenanigans. He couldn't be bothered by what other people had said and would say about them, if he ever was to hear one again. Majority of his time, focus and energy went into thinking about Yuhi—what she loved doing, what she liked talking about, where she wanted to go, what she craved to eat; her eyes, her smile, the dimples on her cheeks, the soft curls of her hair, the touch of her hand.
The entirety of his skull's hollow interior had been infiltrated by her, and it was crazy how he couldn't get her out of his head. But what's even crazier was that it was becoming his favorite activity. However, Killua still had a long way to go before he could freely and openly express his feelings for her both in words and in actions. He still had to get a pass from the final boss of this little universe he and Yuhi had created for them both—Roroturo.
Killua was aware that he had to let him know somehow, virtuously, and it had been in his mind for a while, but he couldn't seem to picture out how it should be done, or if there was a "proper" way to do it. Should he just say it? How would he tell him? Should he just wait for Gon to spit it out like what he did with Mito? Frankly, Killua could just let it go. But he didn't want to. He wanted to do it right the first time, not only because of Yuhi, but also because he respected Roroturo in that sense.
Lucky him, because apparently, Yuhi was thinking the same thing.
"i haven't told roroturo-san yet by the way hehe ^^;;" she sent one night after talking about randomly made-up origins of birds.
He was caught off guard, headspace shifting from science to matters of the heart in less than a second, a tad grateful for the opportunity to discuss it. "do u wanna tell him?" he replied, gauging her intentions.
"yes, i do but i'm kinda scared honestly"
"why? is there sumthng bothering u?"
"not really. just… i think it's cuz it's different this time. i mean, the whole school probably already knows that you and i are… you know :')))"
"are what?"
"you know…!"
"what? what do i know?"
"killuaaa that u and i are kinda… going out? haha :D"
"…kinda?"
"that we're… dating?
"ur unsure?"
"oh, no no, im askiiing if that's how you want to say it?"
"…"
"heeey"
"yeah?"
":( are you mad?"
Moments like these, however, happened ever so often while talking to ramen girl—them discussing a subject that was supposed to be grave then eventually, seamlessly, shifting to something else completely; usually about droll gibberish, leg-pullers and heartstring-pullers.
Killua had to put his phone down at that and stare at his ceiling for a while. Ridiculous; it was absolutely unbelievable how wide his lips were aiming to spread upon reading ramen girl's texts. He bit his lower lip, scoffing unintentionally as his upcoming cackles camped at his throat. He wasn't mad; not even close to being one. It was the opposite, and it's definitely because it was the first time he's hearing—rather, reading—her say that to him.
Going out. Dating. Tsss. Just say that I'm your boyfriend and get it over with.
After a few teases, as he couldn't help it, he finally responded properly, followed through with a strategy they formulated for when they'd tell Roroturo. It was plain and simple, quick and easy: talk to him in person, over lunch, Yuhi to initiate and Killua to detail what happened.
On Friday night, they decided it was time. The plan was that during one of the breaks from Saturday Math lessons, they'd drop the bomb—a metaphorically gentle bomb, that is, not the life-threatening kind, no. It should be peaceful and effortless. Roroturo's a cool man, after all. He'd take it with composure, with serenity, for sure. Killua shouldn't fear anything. He could conquer the world if he wanted.
Saturday then finally came, and Killua marched out of his room with a huge lump in his chest and shackles on his ankles, anxious and nervy. He dreamt of what they planned to do which did not end the way he wanted it to, and he couldn't, even for a hot second, shake it off. It was weird. All the stomach-churning and head-spinning just by the thought of telling Roroturo didn't make sense to him because they were just going to talk. Zip. Zap. Hey, Roroturo-san, guess what? I formally asked Yuhi to go out with me. Done. As it should be.
But were those the right words to say?
Killua had to force his brain to think of something else while preparing to go that morning. Racing with Gon to the dining table for breakfast helped and chatting with Mito about school and Finals made him unthink of the pressure. But the weight in his lungs remained even as his thoughts shifted from it. He needed a constant comfort, a masseur for his frantic brain cells. Subconsciously, while waiting for his turn in the shower, he grabbed his phone from under his pillow and flopped on his bed, pupils glimmering as the screen faded in and a notification appeared.
"good morning! :))"
And just like that, all the fuss in his veins had vanished, replaced by a vivid image of ramen girl personifying the text she sent, youthful and radiant, sunny and pretty. Now he couldn't wait to go, anxious to see her, stomach churning, head spinning as the energy pill took effect. Saturday Math Lessons with ramen girl were always major showstoppers.
Crazy. Stupid.
He left the house with Gon in an airy mood. Hands casually in pockets and small grin incessant on his face as they walked to the bus stop. It was a beautiful day, perfect for incarnating daydreams and envisaging algebraic equations.
Words could not describe how thrilling it was for him to hear the words Saturday and Math. It felt like an extended version of a good dream, an after-credits bonus from his favorite show, or an extra Golden Chocolate Robot toy that had emerged miraculously from his regular Chocorobo box. It was a windfall of Yuhi screen time. No distractions, not dividers, just one whole day with ramen girl and Gon. And he couldn't ask for more.
Well, maybe except for more hours, and moments, and days, and dates—with her, specifically.
"Killua?"
Maybe he could ask her out tomorrow? No, he and Gon had school projects to finish. How about next Sunday? They'd probably have homework to accomplish by then as well. After Finals, maybe? Who was he kidding; he couldn't wait for almost two months! One Friday after school? A quick visit to the nearest ice cream store? One Saturday—a break from Math lessons—to go to the Skateboard park at Kyowa?
"…Killua."
Two Saturdays, or three, or four. Wait, that would be a month in total. Should he sacrifice his academic pursuit just to spend more time with ramen girl? Probably not at this point? But Math is just easy-peasy, I can learn the lessons overnight if it isn't too boring— "Ow!" Is that— "Gon!" Killua hissed as he rubbed away the sting on his shoulder from Gon's fist. "That hurt, you know!" He gave the eye, which was responded with a barrage of apologies and raised arms in surrender.
"Sorry!" Gon exclaimed, leaning away and smiling it off. "It's just that I'm saying that we're near but you're spacing out again!"
Feeling his cheeks warm, Killua instantly veered away from Gon's peripherals and looked out the window, spotting the two-storey ramen house when the bus took a turn. His heart jumped, and he also almost did in his seat while the corners of his lips curled upward to form a rather goofy curve. But it was erased as soon as it was drawn—the second he heard Gon's cackles. He turned to him, reluctant gaze meeting Gon's sunny wide ones.
"It's really nice seeing you like this, Killua," Gon said, beaming widely, toothily. "You're so excited!"
And Killua knew that he was. Yes, he's excited, and thrilled, and eager, and too ecstatic to meet her as though he had not seen her in over a year. But he felt a jolt in his chest when he realized that he's being too obvious—partly because he didn't want to look stupid, and because, well, he's still a little embarrassed about his newfound vulnerability. "Not really." He huffed as he turned away to look out the window again. The bus's slow-down and nearing ramen shop sparked currents up his spine, making him smile—no, snort—in the process, earning him another series of cackles from Gon.
Finally, the bus stopped and they both sprinted out and towards the ramen shop's entrance, bickering about who won their little race, securing armlocks around each other's necks, teasing, laughing; until the front door opened and revealed a sunshine girl in light denim overalls over a pastel yellow long-sleeved turtleneck sweatshirt, auburn hair gathered up in a high ponytail, cherries in her fleshy cheeks vivid, sunlight in her big eyes vibrant, twinkling like a camera flash when she smiled. And for some inane reason, Killua suddenly wanted to hide, clutch his fast-beating heart tight, and stare and stare and stare—
"Hello!" Yuhi greeted with a wave of the hand, high-pitched syllables sounding like nature's melody to Killua's ears, like a soft breeze through a dandelion field on a warm summer day.
Crazy.
"Hi, Yuhi!" Gon exclaimed, voice loud enough to knock Killua out of his trance, making him blink away the fancy in his eyes and unbuckle the sugar crystals that had formed in his joints.
He cleared his throat, brain flashing him options on how to greet ramen girl in the most normal yet deserving-of-her-presence way. Hi. Hello. 'Sup, ramen girl. Morning, Yuhi. Good morning, sunshine. His pulses betrayed him upon thinking of the last one, panic engulfing his system as his throat hitched with wanting to say those words. He stuttered, and in the end, he went with the dumbest: "Heeey…" accompanied by an absurd sly nod and a silly lopsided smile.
Stupid.
Silence.
And then, instant regret.
The first sound he heard after that ridiculous greeting were Gon's giggles, muffled under a palm over his mouth. And Killua was aware that it wasn't that hot of a day, of an early morning, but his ears and neck had started to burn, alarming his brain that he should be fuming at his best friend in defense of his discomfiture. However, the second sound he heard calmed his hammering pulses down and broke his livid façade in a heartbeat; blood from his ears rushing to his cheeks in a light pink blush. Yuhi's snickers were not at all silent, even though her lips were pressed shut to hide them, but they tamed Killua's hostile hisses into tender purrs. He smiled, absentmindedly, of awe as he stared, again, and noticed how Yuhi stopped when she met his gaze, face coloring as she blinked her wide eyes before looking down, stealing another look, and finally smiling back.
Dumdum little drumming heart, beating fast and faster the longer he held her eyes in his, making him look away and bury his clenched fists deep inside his pockets. He had to bite his lower lip to keep his jaws from locking in that stupid-looking grin. That felt like a big box of Chocorobos chugged down his throat in less than a minute.
"Come in!" she then chimed in a light bob, snipping charming glances as she slid to her left to let the boys step in.
He caught another glimpse as they came in, careful eyes and shy smiles exchanging invisible words only the two of them could understand.
Just like the previous Saturdays, they did Math downstairs, at the ramen shop, only.
Sometimes they occupied one customer table near the restroom; sometimes they're sitting at the bar trying to solve problems and equations while waiting for their ramen bowl fixes; most of the time, they brought their chaos inside the shop's kitchen, filling half of the long table with their Math books, notebooks, and a glorious amount of scratch paper. But not once have they gone up their house specifically for this purpose. Roroturo was probably the only man in Tomo that Killua had the highest regard towards. But he sure as heck was strict.
And Killua wondered everyday if that would change the moment Roroturo finally learns that he'd asked his little girl to go out with him officially without asking him first. But it should be easy to tell him. Right? He swallowed, cleared his throat, and swallowed again. The lump was building up once more. Chill. Out.
"My boys! Good morning!" The big man's loud, animated greeting shook the earth, but it brought smiles to the addressees' faces, making him cackle so loud Killua could feel the bass of his voice vibrating in his chest.
"Good morning, Roroturo-san!" Gon greeted back in a shrill tone, trying to equal Roroturo's energy with a tiny bounce and an arm up in the air.
Watching this interaction made Killua snicker, as per usual, and felt snug incontinently. He shared an affable look with Yuhi before hopping on the bar stool next to Gon, and greeting back, "Hey, Roroturo-san, morning!"
Yuhi positioned herself next to him, resting her elbows on the bar counter and treading forward. Killua glanced at her, and she glanced back, offering a gentle grin that he so willingly returned.
"So, what are you having today?" Roroturo asked, dared, with his big husky voice and full white teeth gleaming under his biggest smile.
Gon leaned forward and battled him eye-to-eye before responding with, "The usual, sir, please." Smug grin dissolving into a jester's snickers.
Roroturo then laughed loud, and louder until the planets conspired and the mountains shivered, gesturing for them to come in his kitchen and have their fills—err, to study.
Morning snacks composed of hot chocolate and pastries were served while they worked. Yuhi made them. She always did so since they started doing study sessions, tirelessly asking Killua every Friday night what he wanted to eat the next day. That Saturday, it was—
"Brownies!" Gon exclaimed, gasping, upon entering the kitchen.
Killua caught his gaze and equaled his perky air before turning in unison to Yuhi and smiling wide.
She smiled back, bouncing a little. "Hope you'll like it!"
For a second, Killua felt like his heart leapt with her feet at that. It must be because of her buoyant regard and earnest, honest tone—always got on his good nerves, jolting them up. His brows flexed upward as he sighed, silently. You always say that, he thought, as if I'd ever dislike anything that's made by you.
"I don't think I'll ever not like anything that you'd bake, Yuhi," Gon sang, nudging Killua on the elbow. "Right, Killua?"
The latter could only laugh heartily before nodding and locking gazes with Yuhi to answer, "Yeah, Gon's right."
So there he was, just like previous Saturdays, he's filling his mouth with pastry while ramen girl explained a polynomial equation to Gon, and he always—always—couldn't tell if it was the sugar or her sweet smile that's making his nerves jump and every cell of his body dance to an upbeat music at twice the speed.
But unlike previous Saturdays, that day, he also had to combat an inner crusade that wasn't Math.
"Lunch break?" Roroturo bade as his heavy hand landed at the center of the table, eyeing each student sitting there with a stern directive, like a school bell prompting them to clean the mess and prepare for lunch.
They all nodded and proceeded to collect their clutter from the table and set them aside. Gon then excused himself for quick restroom break. Yuhi went to the cupboard to get plates, bowls and cutlery.
Killua remained standing next to Roroturo and feeling the tips of his fingers and toes numbing with every tick of the clock. He had to quicken his pace, so he hastily said, "I'll go help," before letting out a small, hesitant smize and walking with huge steps towards Yuhi.
"Oh, hey there." She glanced at his direction and smiled as she tiptoed for the over-the-counter cabinet.
"Hey." Killua grabbed the handle before she could reach it, opening it for her instead. "So, what do we need from here?" he mutely asked, slight exasperation obvious in his voice.
Yuhi easily noticed it, features falling into a curious frown. "Plates," she answered, eyes following Killua's every move. He could sense it even without him looking—because he, too, was aware that he's acting weird. Yuhi allowed for a few seconds pause, while Killua grabbed the plates and neatly placed them on the kitchen counter, before thoughtfully asking, "Are you okay?"
He was. He's incandescently fine, right? He felt okay. It's just the way his head thinks that day was bizarre. But he's fine. Totally. "Yeah," he breathed out, nodding as he looked at Yuhi and met her furrowed stare, ice-cold nape instantly warming up like she's a fireplace or a radiator. Still, he asked, as though he's curious, "Why?"
She kept her stare for a few seconds, searching for something on his face. Then she turned to their left, to where Roroturo was standing (now at the counter talking to a friend), looked at Killua, blinking, turned to Roroturo, again, and finally back to Killua, again. Her eyes widened a little, as though she had come to a realization, and whispered, "Are you nervous?"
Killua felt a loud thump in the chest at that. Was that it? Was that the reason why he constantly felt like he wanted to pee and lock himself in the restroom until the day ends? It couldn't be. Killua, nervous? Impossible. "Aren't you?" he whispered back, briefly scanning the kitchen to check if any of the staff in in there with them had heard. When he looked back at Yuhi, he found her cupping her mouth and suppressing giggles. He brows creased. "What's so funny?"
Yuhi shook her head lightly. "Nothing." She took a deep breath, the aftermath of her stifled cackles evident on her cheeks and lips. She kept her smile as she slowly reached for the right side of Killua's face, making him flinch, and gently pressed his right earlobe between her thumb and index finger. She pursed her lips, seemingly suppressing a new set of snickers yet again. "Your ears are red."
Wha— Killua froze on the spot. He wanted to yelp, jump to the ceiling, and crawl away in a speed of light. His entire internal alarm system had been activated: Code Yellow (Severe Thunderstorm Alert; blasting directly at the center of his torso in a relentless deluge). Yeah, no duh!
Perhaps realizing that she'd held on to his ear more than he could bear, Yuhi retrieved her hand and clasped it with her other hand behind her back, tilting her head to the right and shrugging cheerily. Cute. "It'll be fine, I promise."
Killua's brain was screeching, but his mouth was kept shut—maybe even his lungs. But he's unquestionably more poised than ten seconds ago, finding valor in Yuhi's gesture. It was crazy and confusing, but he'd take it. He exhaled all the air he held and released a comfortable smile, holding on to her gaze for a few more seconds. He let himself get lost in her auburn stare before blinking, instantly feeling the blaze in his face and looking away, scratching his nape and muttering under his breath, "Okay."
A few moments later, Roroturo blared in the kitchen with his big laughter, coming from a pleasant conversation with a customer at the bar counter. In an instant, Yuhi and Killua carried the crockery to set up the table. Gon helped with bringing the food in when he came back. At that point, words he had rehearsed to say to Roroturo were already swarming inside Killua's hollow skull, making sure he got it all in there, in the order he required, so that he wouldn't mess it up (and repeat ever saying them).
By the time they finished conversing over the topic that was Finals, he cleared his throat and looked at Yuhi sitting across him, aiming to nudge her knee under the table to prompt her to start. But halfway through, Gon broke the silence and stole the chance.
"By the way, Killua, did you tell Yuhi about Mito-san inviting her over next Saturday?" he excitedly mused, turning to Yuhi—hopeful beam bright and wide. "Can we do Math lessons in our house instead?"
And Killua almost choked from his own breath, completely losing his cool and his thoughts. Crap. Joints seemingly rusty, he slowly lifted his eyes at Roroturo, waiting in slow motion. I forgot.
"Why?" the latter asked after taking a sip from his soup, one eyebrow arching upward as he shifted his curious gaze from Gon to Killua. "What's the occasion?"
Killua blinked, pulses picking up speed. I totally forgot about that! "Uh…"
"No, he hasn't told me about that yet," Yuhi ruminated aloud, looking at Gon, then at Killua, blinking. "What are we doing on Saturday?"
Killua looked back, eyes widening as he stared at hers, trying to test out if mental telepathy's a thing. That's a special dinner invite. Mito-san knows that we're going out now, right? She wants to invite you over because she wants to cook something for you and get to know you better. Because we're practically boyfriend-girlfriend? I don't know. She's looking forward to it. Big time. Help me out here. Killua leaned forward, hitting Yuhi with an invisible laser-beam through his irises. It took a while, a few seconds and a light kick in the shin, before Yuhi could get it.
"Oh," she mused when her mind got around it. Killua only hoped that she did get it. Considering how she was reacting, though, and how she smiled awkwardly at Roroturo, he was assured that she captured the major part of it accurately.
"What? Why?" Roroturo asked again, looking to and fro the three of them, curious and impatient.
Gon mimicked him, big eyes glimmering of inquisitiveness, gaze landing last on his best friend. "Killua?"
Killua. Killua. Killua. He felt like a talentless child standing alone on-stage in front of ten thousand people. He looked back at Gon, then turned to Yuhi, then to Roroturo, before finally breathing out and relaxing—well, sort of. Here goes, I guess. He lowered his eyes to the cube of tofu swimming in his soup and muttered under his breath, "I kinda asked— No, no," he shook his head, lifting them back up to meet Roroturo's expectant gaze, "I asked Yuhi out, Roroturo-san, on Valentine's."
It's strange and fascinating how a few words could turn things around. Killua was aware that something would definitely change the second he dropped the words—whether it be good or bad, he wasn't certain. He, of course, hoped for the former. But he wouldn't want to presume anything until after he'd gotten a response, or just a slight reaction. He told himself he wouldn't get too worked up about this, yet there he was, eyes wide, palms a little sweaty, head spinning as he watched Roroturo's eyebrows curled immensely at the center of his forehead, head tilting to the right, blinking, thinking.
"You mean you went out on Valentine's?" he asked, a little confused. "Yuhina already told me about that. Did something else something happen?"
Killua swallowed and cleared his throat. "Yeah, uh…" He glanced at Yuhi who slowly nodded, then at Gon who held a fist slightly up in the air and mouthed you can do it. Killua inwardly groaned. Why is this so freaking hard to say!? "I… uh… We're… We're kind of— No. We're, um," he took a breath, one long and deep inhale, and exhaled the words out, "going out, like, publicly."
Roroturo narrowed his eyes, then he blinked and blinked.
Killua managed, slowly, to turn to Gon again for refuge. But he, too, was waiting on Roroturo. He looked at Yuhi, meeting her big auburn eyes for a second before she looked down and sank in her seat, face coloring red—saturation upping, vivid—before cupping her cheeks. Killua then felt it; he felt tsunamis in his chest and flames in his neck. He couldn't tell if it was hot or cold or if he wanted to puke or drop dead.
It was only when Roroturo hummed a note that the three of them sat upright, shaking them off their daze. He crossed his arms against his chest and leaned back on his chair. He then looked at Killua, then at Yuhi, and pointed at them both. "Aren't you two already going out?"
It was Yuhi who responded that time. She nodded and let out a faint "Yes?"
Roroturo shrugged. "Yeah, okay. So, what's new?"
It's times like this when Killua would wish for Gon's impulsive antiphons, or maybe even for Yellich's jumpy presence. But the former was silent all throughout and the latter was M.I.A. Killua inwardly groaned again, bellowing in his head for redemption. He's clearly not used to being the telecaster kid.
For the nth time, he looked at Yuhi, seeking sanctuary in her eyes. And for the nth time, he took a deep breath, sat upright and turned to Roroturo. Whatever, he thought, just say it. "We—"
"I'm now his girlfriend, Roroturo-san, that's what's new."
Words truly could move something and someone, Killua then proved. In his case, they spun him around, up and down, left and right, in circles, diagonals—as though he's in a rollercoaster at Pipedream, simultaneously seeing the sky and the ground, then stopping at the top like he peaked at the atmosphere, then jumping off to skydive without a parachute. The thrill of it was phenomenal. He felt amazing, like he could dive into the deepest part of the ocean and still manage to whirl afloat, or fight twenty-one big bad guys with his bare hands and end up winning, unscratched and unscathed. A shocker. Incredible. His pulses hammered, urging him to smile, and he did. He might have looked goofy or silly, but at least he could now tell the world about his girlfriend.
"E-Eh—" Said girlfriend gasped, eyes growing wide, palms over her mouth. She looked like someone who just spilled a secret, or who had said something incorrect. She looked at Killua, then at Gon, at Roroturo, then back at Killua. "I-Is that right? Am I—" This time she cupped her cheeks, hiding her vibrant blush.
Killua pressed his lips, cackles urgent and demanding in his throat. He took a sip from his glass of water to break them apart, taking a few quick breaths before he could respond to that absurd question. Yes, ramen girl, what else would you be for me at this point, c'mon.
Gon, on the other hand, couldn't seem to do it. He let out a weird sound, and thereafter giggled like there's no tomorrow. "Sorry!" he exclaimed, breathing in, sweet laughter consistent in the air. "Sorry, Yuhi, I just think that's adorable."
That made Killua snicker a little. He gave Gon pats on the back as he tried to recover from his repressed outburst, never letting go of Yuhi's gaze and of the delighted smile on his face. "Yeah," he finally said, nerves and unease in his voice gone. "That's right."
It's those words that sprinkled stardust in Yuhi's eyes. They twinkled when she smiled—tiny and careful, yet more than enough to strum the strings in Killua's chest, accompanying every beat of his heart in a poetic musical piece. Lovely. And he couldn't believe himself to be so… so… in love.
The cheesy drive-in movie scene was then cut short by Roroturo's loud, genuinely amused laughter. They all turned to him, watched this show for about five seconds before he inhaled all the air in the room and dropped a fist on the table, leaning forward and grinning crookedly. He looked at Killua, then at Yuhi. "You know what's funny? I thought you're already dating." He laughed again, echoed by Gon in the background. "Is that why you're so stiff around me today? You both planned for the big reveal?"
Even though the air's light now and his mind's free, Killua, for the life of him, could never not be flustered at a question or a comment like that. He instantly felt his cheeks warm, and instinct told him to look away, narrow his eyes at his best friend who couldn't stop laughing beside him, and lock an arm around his neck, tight and tighter until they all filled the room with honest bliss.
Roroturo then proceeded to asking about what happened, only if they wished to detail, in which, with consent, Gon gladly told—but only up to the part when Yuhi dragged Killua away and out of his sight. Reluctantly—shyly—Yuhi explained why she had to do it. Killua then explained why he had to say those things to her friends. And then it happened; he asked, she accepted. Roroturo seemed pleased about what he heard, teasing Yuhi a little, throwing Killua daring grins as he used to, and smiling throughout. It gave Killua the last bit of confidence and comfort he never fathomed he'd want.
Now all he needed to think about was Yuhi, Yuhi, Yuhi, and how to be a good person for her, a person she deserved to be together with. This swarmed in Killua's carefree mind as they went on with study sessions in the afternoon. It was a different kind of freedom in his chest—the way he scooted closer to her while she expounded on a problem-solving question, stretching an arm around the backrest of her chair, holding her gaze longer when their eyes accidentally met.
And he knew she was feeling it too. Killua began to notice it when they went out for their first date at Pipedream—how Yuhi absentmindedly held on to him whenever her emotions got the best of her. It remained as the days went by—the way she squeezed his hand and touched his cheeks, the embrace she gave him that one afternoon at the library, and most recently, her pressing his earlobe because of its hue.
Killua initially thought of it as an adorable surprise, but lately he found himself waiting, anticipating for her to do as much as hold his hand. And just basing it on that Saturday afternoon, it seemed as though he would be supplied with an abundance of Yuhi's touch. Each time she laughed or heard something surprising, she'd place a hand on Killua's wrist on the table. If his wrist wasn't there, he tested, she'd lean closer. (He took a mental note to always place his hands on the table whenever they sat together.) It was funny, but also very pleasing, gratifying—to be that someone she'd hold on to whenever she whirls.
All that's left for him to do, and what he really wanted to do, was to…
Impossible.
…kiss her.
How do you even do that?
It was crazy how after that Saturday, all he could think and dream of were ways and scenarios and ridiculous shenanigans on how he could create the perfect timing to be alone with ramen girl—no distractions, no other people, just the two of them spending time together. It seemed impossible, though. Their schooldays and nights were becoming more and more busy because of Finals, weekends remained to be preoccupied with more schoolwork, and the time in between were always spent with friends or family.
Killua always convinced himself that it's fine. There were more pressing matters at hand and he actually didn't mind hanging out with several people. It shouldn't be that big of a deal, really. But his stupidly selfish brain couldn't stop showing him what-if pictures of just him with Yuhi. It wouldn't stop flashing all the moments he'd spent with her, snippets of time alone together, on repeat and on shuffle; most especially the heart-pounding ones where they'd get so close, he would be able see his reflection in her irises.
Because of that, he couldn't unimagine a scene wherein he'd hold her cheeks between his hands, close his eyes and lean forward until their lips were centimeters apart. It's a pleasant dream, but the nightmare part of it was that it always—always—gets cut right before the highpoint. It's been killing him, frustrating and unsatisfactory, because now he so desired to see it through himself; in person.
How do you even kiss a girl?
At age 15, Killua felt that he'd consumed just the right amount of media relating to relationships between a boy and a girl. He felt that he already had the basic knowledge of… couple stuff. He'd seen cheesy kissing scenes in movies and TV shows Mito and grandma would sometimes watch while he and Gon washed the dishes. He'd observed people enough to know how to do it. But him thinking of doing it himself melted his braincells. He had no idea how to prepare for it. Should he just wing it? No, that would be unworkable, because number one: it's the first time he'd want to try (and there's no number two).
Essentially, of course, he first had to know if she wants to. Then they had to be alone. And then what?
Argh! Just stop thinking about it for sec! he thought as his mind flew again to the possible scenario of him kissing ramen girl, which was accompanied by annoyed hair ruffles and long, loud groans, always completely forgetting the fact that he's with other people.
"Oh? Look who's losing his mind," Yellich teased, snickering as he chewed on an eggroll. It's a Thursday and they were having lunch together at Yellich and Yuhi's usual spot at the bleachers by the swimming pool.
"Killua, are you okay?" Gon asked, leaning closer to examine Killua's face, a piece of beansprout dangling from his chopsticks.
Yuhi mimicked Gon, eyes growing wide and brows curling at the center of her forehead of obvious concern.
Killua blinked, internally scolded his brain for betraying him at lunchtime—of all darn times—and faked a smile as he ran a hand against his nape. "Yeah, I just… I just thought of something. It's nothing." Slowly he lifted his eyes at Yuhi, then immediately shifted to look at Gon, hoping they wouldn't notice his pretentious-sounding chuckles.
Gon hummed of curiosity. Yuhi frowned.
"You know what?" Yellich then mused, sitting upright and sliding more to the right, closer to Killua, grinning. "Let's play a game."
And Killua could have miscalculated it, because he felt like Yellich was on to something, as usual, and he dreaded that it might expose him.
"Let's guess the something that Killua thought of just now."
Yup, he's dead.
Quickly, he twisted to face Yellich, eyes wide, aiming to intimidate, as if that would affect Yuhi's mischievous brother. "It's nothing," he pressed, emphasizing the 'no' and how he didn't want to talk about it.
Yellich met him eye to eye, fixing his gaze at him with that impish smile, crossing his arms against his chest. Killua's correct, not a single thing could terrorize Yellich, so, he'd only hope for a pass. For some reason though, after seconds of communicating—or not—with menacing glares, Yellich pressed his lips, suppressing a charmed smile as he relaxed. "Okay." He nodded as if he understood something. "I get it."
What? Killua eyes grew wide even more—of either disbelief or amusement, he wasn't so sure. But he suddenly felt blood rush to his face at that. Yellich couldn't possibly get accurately what Killua was thinking, right? Yuhi's brother couldn't know what's niggling him. His eyebrows creased as he tried to get his mind around it. No, no, it's unlikely.
Yellich leaned forward, closing in on Killua, and whispered to his ear, "Just do it. What's stopping you?"
Killua felt like his soul departed his body upon hearing that. He's smart, he could tell that Yellich's just bluffing; he could refer to anything with what he said. But Killua's brainwave buzzed with a specific sequence, making him look absentmindedly at ramen girl sitting a step down the bleacher from him, meeting her stare and hearing unprecedented sirens at the back of his head. He shifted his gaze back at Yellich, unblinking, at lost for words. He ended up watching him laugh loud and hearing faint "Huh?" from Gon and Yuhi in the background.
That same day afterschool, Killua made sure that Gon would join in during archery lessons. It went well. Normal, he supposed. Yuhi's improving a lot at it. She got to hit the board, though not the center, five times out of twenty at a seven-foot distance, and there were no flying arrows anymore. For that, they went to the ice cream store to celebrate, with Killua buying her a scoop in a cone—bubblegum flavored. Then he thought that maybe Yellich was right: he must be losing his mind. He couldn't stop glancing while they walked to the bus stop eating ice cream.
Killua managed to tone it down the next day, mind now preoccupied with homework and Yuhi's visit to their place on Saturday. He looked forward to it, not hiding his excitement from anyone including her—especially her. Come Friday after class, before parting ways for home at the bus stop, he reminded her of tomorrow, the smile on his face embarrassingly wide. "I'll come pick you up here at nine. Okay?"
Yuhi seemed fairly excited as well. She beamed sunnily and nodded. And if it wasn't for the bus beeping near, Killua would have stolen a kiss on the cheek.
It felt the same the next day when she hopped off the bus and bounced towards him, bringing with her a medium-sized lunch bag and a flowery air, grin toothy and cheeks flushed. He thought she looked cute with her overalls and her hair in double braids, like she's ready to milk the cows and feed the chicken—adorable. And instinctively, again, he ought to pull her by the arm and smoosh her face. But he halted when he noticed the glimmer around her neck, instantly recognizing it; the Daffodil necklace he gifted her. And all the while they were walking back to Mito's house, he couldn't help but squeeze her hand as his pulses hammered of bliss.
Sweet.
Yuhi, on the other hand, kept more silent the closer they got, and when they reached the gate, Killua noticed that her palm was a little sweaty.
"Nervous?" he asked, one corner of his lips curling upward in a small crooked grin.
Yuhi shrugged repeatedly, seemingly shaking off whatever it was that made her stiff, and smiled sheepishly. "Maybe. A little." When Killua snickered, she playfully hit his arm with a light fist. "Hey, don't make fun of me!"
"I'm not." He pressed his lips, zipped it with an invisible key and threw that key away. Yuhi snorted. Killua took her hand. "It's gonna be fine, I promise," he said, making her smile as she knew where she heard that line from.
The door then blasted open, revealing a very cheerful Gon Freecss with his full white teeth and big brown eyes, shining like the sun in the sky at twelve in the afternoon. "Good morning, Yuhi!" he greeted loud with a wave of the hand, which was immediately returned by her. "Come in!" he motioned, turning around and shouting inside the house, "Yuhi's here!"
Yuhi couldn't help but cackle at that. "Gon's pretty pumped, huh?"
Killua shook his head as they walked to the entry. "Yeah, he loves having friends over."
Mito came to the door just in time to welcome her, air pleasant and comfortable as always, smile kind and tone of voice gentle as she greeted her a good morning, adding, "Glad you could come," ushering for her to come in.
"Thank you for inviting me over, Mito-san." Yuhi beamed, pulling her lunch bag and holding it up. "I brought crinkles and cookies!"
"Ohh! I heard you bake them yourself," Mito responded as Gon whispered a 'Yay!' in the background. "I can't wait to taste it." She took the bag and Yuhi along with her to the kitchen.
Snacks were ready at the coffee table when they arrived, the smell of warm soup and rice filling the air. Homey and cozy; the way Killua liked it—and loved even more that day because ramen girl's there with them.
She chatted for a while with Mito and grandma in the kitchen while he and Gon sat at the dining table munching on some of the cookies she made, with the former smiling goofily—teasingly—at the latter as they listened to them talk about Roroturo, the ramen shop and school. Gon then grew impatient after about fifteen minutes, stepping in the kitchen and asking Mito if he could steal Yuhi for a bit and tour her around the house. Mito consented easily, reminding him not to make too much of a mess. The three of them then sprinted out of the dining area and up the stairs; Gon eager to show Yuhi his rock collection.
He'd seen it multiple times, but Gon's assortment of pretty rocks and pebbles he'd pick up from Whale Island, and from random places they'd travel to, never failed to amaze Killua. When they entered Gon's room, the first thing he did was to hop towards his study table by the window where the big rocks of different colors and shapes were displayed—jade, rose, sapphire, ivory, charcoal, crystal-like mineral stones with rough patches, smooth ones with geometric patterns.
Yuhi held each one in her hand in astonishment, circling them on her fingertips as Gon explained their properties and how, when and why he got and kept them. "These are beautiful," she mused in a featherlight whisper, gasping with every turn of a rock in her hand.
"I have more!" Gon beamed, kneeling on his timber floor next to his bed and pulling out a basket from under it. "Here!" He then removed the lid and revealed a glistening set of stones.
Yuhi immediately sat on the floor next to Gon, eyes glossy, fascinated. Killua sat on Gon's bed, observing with a smile on his face as Gon picked one up from his pile and allowed Yuhi to touch it.
"Most of these I got from the beach in Whale Island. But there are some that I picked up from the forest and lakes and near waterfalls. Me and Killua found really cool stones at this one place and we spent an entire day collecting the prettiest ones," Gon gladly told, glancing at Killua and grinning toothily, which the latter returned with a gentle nod.
"There must plenty of pretty rocks in Whale Island then," Yuhi said as she inspected a heart-shaped dolomite rock on the palm of her left hand.
"Yeah, there are!" Gon exclaimed, giggling as he shuffled closer to her. "Do you want one? You can pick one that you like and it's yours."
Yuhi then looked up, breath hitching at her throat as she blinked. "Really? You'd give me one?"
Gon nodded. "Uh-huh! Pick anything you like! I also gave Killua one. A milky quartz. It's white and it stood out in the mud when I found it. It reminded me of him." He cackled, turning to his best friend with his big brown eyes, shining like rhyolite on the seabed under the sun. "Do you still have it, Killua?"
The latter snorted, feeling his chest swell at Gon's wholesome gestures. "Yeah, of course, dummy. I'd never lose it."
Gon cackled even more, holding an index finger up Killua's line of sight. "You better not or else!"
Killua stuck a tongue out, laughing.
Gon mirrored him, snorting in the process.
Yuhi snickered. She then looked over the basket, clasped hands pressed against her chest as she searched for a rock she liked. Gon waited patiently, gabbing about his hobby of collecting rocks, while Killua watched her with wide eyes, anticipating, oddly zealous of what she'd pick.
The one she held in her hand the longest and eyed the most was the most plain looking from Gon's pile. It's a medium-sized beach pebble, about the size of a starfruit, smooth and gray, the most common type—except this one's almost heart-shaped and had a single white vein circling round it. And Killua instantly knew which type of basalt it was. He leaned back and let out a pacified smile.
"Ah!" Gon reacted suddenly, the flowers on his cheeks blossoming as he lifted his eyes at Yuhi. "You like that one?" he eagerly asked.
Yuhi blinked as she examined it with careful hands. She let it sit on her palm for a second and pondered, "It looks like somebody drew a perfect line around it." She smudged it with her thumb as if to erase the lining, back jolting straight when she grasped, "Oh, it's naturally drawn."
"Yes!" Gon pointed at it saying, "It's a common rock in Whale Island. But what's special about it is its quartz veining, that white line around it. Look, it doesn't have any breaks. Cool, huh?"
Yuhi, again, held it between her fingers and turned it 360-degrees. "Yeah, it's cool."
"That's a wishing stone," Gon revealed, cackling a little when she looked at him curiously. "It's its name. A wishing stone. Elders in Whale Island would often tell us to make a wish when we find one. Close your eyes, make a wish, then throw it as far out into the ocean as you can, and your wish will come true!"
Killua recalled the first time he heard it. He thought it was stupid. Who'd believe that rocks could make dreams come true? But while he had yet to prove its efficacy, he found himself chanting a wish in his head whenever he'd pick one up in Whale Island, and thereafter tossing it into the sea with all his might. He never believed it to be true, and he'd been living through his wishes ever since Mito took him in anyway, but it's one of his favorite Whale Island folklores. He keenly observed Yuhi as Gon explained how it worked, waiting on how she would react to this fairytale-like myth invented by ancient islanders. But instead of a verbal response, what he got was a stare-down with her, eyes big and budding, full of infinite wonder.
"But using a wishing stone to make a wish for another person is more powerful," Gon added, prompting Yuhi to turn to him again. "That's why in Whale Island when we find one of these, we automatically wish for family and friends and fishermen and farmers. I always made wishes for Mito-san and grandma and Killua when we saw some by the shore. And it's pretty, too! The white line makes it unique!"
Yuhi placed the stone on her palm again, staring at it, nodding to herself as though she's absorbing the magical information Gon had just supplied her with. Slowly then, the corners of his lips tugged upward, and she released this silly-looking grin as she lifted her eyes up at Gon. "I like it." She giggled, shrugging and clothing the stone with her hand, pressing it against her chest.
Gon beamed. "Yay, I'm glad you do! You can keep it. Don't lose it, okay?" he warned playfully, then raised an index finger in the air. "Unless you'd like to make a wish, of course!"
Yuhi nodded merrily. "Keepsake. But yes!"
Killua shook his head as he smiled of awe, finding them both precious and like dorky children at the same time. He got on his feet, gearing to set up the gaming console for later, when Gon's next suggestion stopped him in his tracks.
"Killua, let's show Yuhi the rock I gave you."
He had to pause and blink, invisible alarm hidden in his ribcage suddenly triggered to buzz. "What?"
"I said, let's go show Yuhi the rock that I gave you."
Killua blinked again, allowed his mind to wander off somewhere he wasn't sure where exactly, then nodded slowly and turned a heel. "I'll go get it." But, again, Gon stopped him from walking out when he sprung up on his feet.
"Let's go together!" Gon yelped, smiling widely, and held out a hand for Yuhi.
She took it, deposited the wishing stone in her pocket, smoothed out the wrinkles in her clothes and looked at Killua, waiting.
The latter's brain immediately swooshed in a replay of his morning, rapidly recalling if he left his room clean and tidy. He might have permitted a few clutters on his table and dirty laundry on his for-some-reason-it's-exclusively-for-clothes chair, but whatever. As long as there were no random underwear lying around on the floor then it's cool. He shrugged and equably said, "Sure," completely ignoring that strange pull of gravity in his gut.
He walked two large steps ahead of them, even though his room's just right beside Gon's, so that he could enter first and do a quick neatness check. Acceptable. His trash bin's overflowing with Chocorobo boxes but he paid no heed to it. Technically, they're not mess because they're already in the bin—even though some of it already brimmed over to the floor.
"Uh…" He turned to face them as he stepped backwards, glancing at Yuhi and avoiding her gaze. He gestured to the comfortable spaces in the room—his study area's chair, his bed, the floor (maybe). "You can sit anywhere you like, I guess. I'll just…" he muttered, almost mumbling, before turning back around to walk towards his dresser by the window, next to his bed, scolding his brain for being non-cooperative at times when he needed it the most. It's fine, he thought as he rummaged through his t-shirts to find the small wooden box that held his special rock. Gon's here. It's fine. It's cool. Chill out.
He easily found it, smiling to himself as his pushed the drawer shut, and spun around, finding Yuhi sitting on his study chair, holding the mini lantern she gifted him in her hands and switching it on. Her eyes glistened with the flicker of the light, smile bright and dainty, blinding with the sunrays coming in from the window, gracing Killua's room even more with her presence. Absurdly, it felt like magic, mesmerizing and striking. But Killua's attention never drowned in this display, because Gon seemed to be missing.
"Where'd he go?" he asked, winded, scanning the room for signs of Gon. Nothing. No one. No one's around except for him and—
Yuhi switched the light off, now examining the lantern's build, inspecting its stability. "Mito-san called for him. He said he'll come right back." She smiled after nipping at the joints of the lantern, seemingly satisfied with its current condition, and looked up. "You didn't hear—" But then she paused upon catching his gaze.
And Killua began to notice that she's suddenly stiff, as he was, as if some entity flew past them and their initial 5-second reaction was to freeze. Then both looked away, avoiding each other's eyes, before Yuhi cleared her throat and placed the lantern back to its place.
"Y-You have this displayed here." She stuttered, slowly sitting upright, clearing her throat. "Are you using it?"
Killua mimicked the throat clearing and took a breath, glancing. "Y-Yeah, I switch it on at night. Well, sometimes. I, um, I've yet to buy new batteries."
"Oh," Yuhi mused, staging the most edgy chuckle Killua had ever heard her emit. "That's… That's really nice. I was afraid it'd easily break."
"Well, it's still working."
"I'm glad that it still is."
He glanced again and found her daubing the floor with her stare. He pursed his lips, silently clearing his throat—again. "Well, I…" Inhale. "I see you're wearing the, uh, the necklace I gave?" That sounded dumber than it did in his head. He exhaled sharply, penitent. Couldn't you have said it in a nicer way?
Yuhi nodded, keeping her head down as she delicately pinched the pendant with her fingertips, flushed cheeks vivid next to the natural bright light of the sun. "This is the first time I'm wearing it, actually. I didn't want to scratch or lose it," she said leisurely, fondly. Then after one deep breath, she looked up at him, gaze bashful yet warm, honest, a Daffodil garden beneath the bluest of skies. "Does it… look good on me?"
Killua was immobilized, mind thinking of ways on how to respond to a question which answer was already a given, too obvious, without sounding rude. Of course, silly ramen girl, yes yes yes.
But would a simple 'yes' serve to pronounce how lovely he thought it looked on her, or how charming she always appeared in his eyes even without any accessory? Would words be enough to express how ardently he felt for her at that moment? Ironically, his voice seemed to have vanished in his lungs, refusing to parade with lavish remarks. But Killua knew it was just obeying his innermost fancy. Because how he really wanted to respond to that was not with words.
He nodded, slowly, triggering currents up his spine, igniting his pulses to hammer. His hands flinched when he felt it in the tips of his fingers, charging it to move towards her, to touch her face. And he let it, easing the palm of his right hand into her left cheek, grazing ever so lightly with his thumb. It felt as though his body was submerged underwater while his head remained on the surface, breath hitching a little as he lay afloat—yet all his senses were coming alive and alert, exhilarated. He then felt her warm hand over his, pressing it gently as it rested against her skin. She closed her eyes for a few seconds before lifting them back up. Sunbeam painting her lips adorned his view, as if to say do not let go—no, not yet.
Killua wasn't going to. He didn't want to. The moment was perfect in that it met all his requirements. He wished to see it through, inwardly crossing his fingers in hopes of getting it right the first time. His heart galloped as he tipped forward and lowered his head to align with hers, racing faster and deeper, then decelerating when their foreheads met. Time moved slow in his mental clock from that point on. And not a single sound echoed in his mind but the loud, deafening beat of his heart, until—
"…Killua?"
If there was one thing Killua ever regretted that day, it would be how he allowed himself to lose focus when ramen girl's face was inches away from his. He paused lamentably, breaking the act and ambiance the second he concluded his half-lidded stare.
"…Killua?" There it was again, Mito calling him from downstairs. "Can you come down for a sec, please? I need you to do something for me real quick."
He blinked, meeting Yuhi's auburn eyes that were too close for his conscious mind to bear. It's as if a bucket of ice had been poured over his head, jolting him awake and burning his face. He sprung up and stepped back, embarrassed of his deferred feat. He wanted to run and disappear or melt right there and then. "I, uh…" he began, finding his voice as his head went in spirals. "I—"
"Killua, honey, sorry, but I asked Gon to fetch something from our neighbor. I really need your help here, please. I'm sure Yuhi wouldn't mind."
"I…" he started again, catching Yuhi's attention. Her stare was tensed; Killua could tell by her unstable irises and clenching jaw. He ought to ease the pressure he created—with words, maybe—but realizing that he actually didn't know what to say, he just gestured towards the door. When she nodded, he blurted out, "Wait, okay?" pitch so eerily off he had to sprint out of his room and down the stairs in a speed of light to hide and to help chug down this lump of emotions bottling up in his throat.
The rest of the morning went by on a whim. Gon came back the second Killua stepped in the kitchen to help Mito. They called in Yuhi then, and they spent their time tweaking Moringa leaves from their stems, making rice rolls with Nori sheets, and grabbing biscuits and cookies in between.
They retreated to Gon's room after one hearty lunch, bringing with them Yuhi's bag and all the snacks from downstairs, setting everything up on the floor. Killua readied the gaming console as well, reminding them both that they should finish early so that they'd still have time to play. Yuhi's curfew was eight o'clock. It was already half past two in the afternoon.
They were surprisingly focused during the next two hours, keeping their banters and commercials at a minimum, quick breaks limited to snack time and a visit to the restroom.
At four-thirty, they were done with homework, but they remained planted on the floor staring at one complicated equation that they—Gon and Killua—couldn't seem to solve. Killua was good with problems-solving questions which entailed the person solving it to analyze the situation in order to get it. That type of Math's a piece of cake for him. The equations and formulas were the real spoilsports. Frankly, he didn't want to bother thinking about it anymore, but he was already too engrossed in it, he couldn't allow himself to fail ever solving it.
"My head's about to explode." Gon groaned woozily as he let his back fall flat on the floor, limbs spread facing the ceiling like an exhausted starfish. "Yuhi, I can't think anymore." He sighed, releasing drowsy sobs from his throat.
"I guess we can put this off for next week?" she suggested, smiling sheepishly. "I'm not even sure if this will appear in the exam. I just thought it's fun to solve."
"It is fun," Gon answered, lifting his body up to sit, shoulders limp as they shuddered when he cackled. "I'm just not that very good at Math."
"That's why we're practicing!" Yuhi sternly said with a fist in the air, cackling with Gon as she shifted her weight on the floor. "Let's do this next week? We're done with homework anyway, so… Yes?"
"I agree!" Gon yelped, standing up and stretching—arms, legs, neck, hands. "Killua," he called in the process, energy already back in his system, "let's go play now!"
The addressed, on the other hand, remained sitting with pretzel legs on the floor, one hand on his waist and the other on his chin, gawking and glaring at the Math book on the floor as he mumbled words between his lips. He heard Gon nonetheless (he's hearing them converse while he tried to analyze the dreaded equation), and he responded with a faint, "Yeah, yeah, just a sec," eyebrows creasing even more at the center of his forehead. Crap, yeah, of course, the exponent. Again…
Gon shared a laugh with Yuhi, with Killua hearing him say, "He's never gonna leave that until he solves it," as his feet rapped towards the door. "I'm just gonna go to the restroom then check what Mito-san's cooking, okay? I think it's mac and cheese!" He snickered once more before his presence disappeared from the room.
Killua then took one deep breath, groaning as he exhaled, running his fingers through his hair in frustration. He huffed, glared at the Math book then looked at Yuhi who was sitting at an arm's length distance to his right, eyes wide and curious.
There was a moment of silence before she responded with, "Do you want me to tell you how I got it?"
It sounded like an honest suggestion, really. She's probably already concerned about giving them something to think about. But Killua refuted it, shaking his head and grabbing his pen. He'd solve this thing on his own. If ramen girl did it, he could, too. "Can I borrow your notes instead?" he asked, hand already crawling towards Yuhi's Math notebook. When she nodded, he began to scan through the pages, looking for logs of the lessons he'd space out to, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Yama already discussed this in class when he wasn't listening.
He stared at a page, thinking, dissecting. It's probably the Xs and the Ys and the ABCs, exponents, the correlation of all variables, the sequence of solving them—basically an entire algebraic equation. He grumbled under his breath, a fleeting thought appearing in his mind. He glanced at her. "Can I write here?"
She only blinked, and nodding halfway, Killua spun the notebook to occupy the last page.
He thought he heard her gasp and say "Wait—" as he flipped open the back cover. But whatever it was that she wanted to say, he couldn't bother to ask—not when he's seeing his name all over the last page of her Math notebook.
Print, cursive, in capital letters, in lettering, with stars, with hearts, a doodle, clouds, birds, smileys.
Whoa, he thought as he scanned the page, heart stopping at the view, lips urging to curl upward. But like a snap of the fingers, the moment he blinked, it was gone. And he got himself an embarrassed ramen girl sulking with her back facing him, arching downward and towards her knees, seemingly securing something she held tight in her arms against her chest.
"Why is my name written there?" he asked, pressing his lips right after and clearing his throat a little to suppress his goofy-looking grin. He damned knew too well why his name was there.
Nerves took over as she blurted out, "I-I was practicing my handwriting!"
Killua cupped his mouth for a second to muffle his snickers then sat upright, twisting in his seat so that he was facing her straight. He tried to speak in his normal tone. "With my name?"
She didn't answer.
"Hey, turn around."
She didn't move.
Killua took a deep breath and gently said, "C'mon now."
He waited for her to accept his tender tone, and it was not long before she did. She fidgeted and slowly turned around, concealing her flustered face by fixing her gaze at the floor, bit by bit lifting her eyes up at him. Killua wanted to make her feel that it's okay, that she could be transparent with him in a comfortable way. So, he softly smiled, but it was unintentionally followed through with snickers, and then a barrage of cackles.
Yuhi could only bury her face between her knees. "Why are you laughing!?" she carped, pitch high.
It's because he found her tomato face adorable. "You're so red," he answered between hearty laughter.
"It's— It's embarrassing!"
"It's fine!"
"No, it's not!"
"Okay, I'll stop laughing, I promise," Killua assured her as he inhaled, dimming down his outburst and replacing it with a wide unrestricted smile.
"…"
"It's okay, come on." Killua poked her shoulder. Then he poked her back. Then he poked her sides, making her flinch and twitch. The atmosphere was full of beans already, anyway, so he thought he might as well take advantage of it. So, he proceeded to tickling her, laughing with her as she squirmed in her spot.
"Stooop," she squealed gauchely, cackling sweetly and wheezing. Then she finally turned around and suddenly it's quiet.
Killua's eyes were wide as he stared back into hers, feeling her breath against his skin with how close their faces befell. And there it was again, his heart beating loud in his eardrums, igniting sparks in his veins. Impulsively, he secured Yuhi's face in his hands. It was done awkwardly, not tenderly, but he didn't want to think about it anymore. They both blinked. Killua gulped, closed his eyes and gracelessly smacked his lips against hers, immediately leaning back breathless, mind a blur. What did I just do!?
"Hey, I'm back!"
Gon's voice triggered them both to lean and look away, flustered beyond repair, heartbeats sprinting faster than a jet plane as fireworks continued to crack inside Killua's chest.
"C-Can't you knock!?" he accidentally flamed, spinning around to eye his best friend. It was the nerves, his silly, crazy, brainless and thoughtless nerves.
Gon's eyes were wide and curious as he blinked, muttering, "But this is my room."
Killua could only huff and take another deep inhale after that, glancing at the floor and trying to at least tame the wildfire in his cheeks. When he glanced back at Gon, he saw him looking to and fro him and Yuhi, wondering and pondering.
"Whatyoudoin?" Gon casually asked, pausing for the next five seconds to wait a reply perhaps. But then he gasped, eyes growing wide of sudden realization. "Oh." Then his facial muscles shifted back to his outrageous Gon self, smiling—no, grinning—grinning impishly. "Oh. I see what you're doing…" His honied giggles echoed in the room, followed by Killua's impending growls. Then he beamed saying, "Just pretend I didn't come in, sorry!" before turning a heel and shut the door.
"How—" Killua was way too enthralled in his doggoned situation to even think of what to do next and how to react. Instinctively, he got up on his feet and marched out of the room, yelling, "Come back here!" after Gon, wrestled with him in the hallway before dragging him back to the room. He never allowed Gon to speak of what he saw and what he thought they were doing. Whenever he almost did, Killua would cup his mouth and say something else.
Him and Yuhi never talked about what happened after that. He also tried not to make everything awkward, which, as he noticed, she was doing too. It somehow worked; all they had to do was talk and act normally while avoiding each other's gazes. The toughest part, however, was walking her to the bus stop that night. In all fairness, they were conversing as per usual, talked about Mito's cooking and Gon's rocks and everything that had happened except for that particular moment, doing their best to pretend that she didn't go in Killua's room, and that Killua never borrowed her Math notebook the entire day.
But it made his knees incredibly weak. He knew that he should say something about it somehow, apologize for acting recklessly maybe, ask if she wanted to try again—properly this time, if there was such a thing. But the clock ticked fast at the waiting shed and a bus arrived as soon as they got there. On normal circumstances, he could have easily let go of her hand. But that day and night was different. He didn't want to let go. He wanted to hold her tight and ask if she could let the bus pass and just hop on the next one. But Killua's cravenness overflowed with his desire to spend more time with her, and it won effortlessly, but he wouldn't allow it to define his brand.
"Do you have a… thing on Monday? After class," he abruptly asked, looking at Yuhi and at the bus that was quickly closing in.
She thought about it and shook her head. "I don't think so? Why?"
He took a breath, hoping his drumming pulses would spare him stutters just once. "Do you, like, wanna maybe get some ice cream or something?" It was a dumb and childish quick date idea, but he'd take anything.
Maybe she would, too, smile sweet and face coloring as she nodded. "Okay, Monday after class."
And Killua thought that his brain must be broken, for with every smile and blush, he'd picture himself pulling her in and embracing her snugly, keeping her charm from escaping. Instead, he smiled and nodded back, pinching her cheek gently before the bus honked and she waved goodbye.
He stood there as the bus throttled away, staying and staring at the empty street where it disappeared into, sighing deeply and grumbling under his breath. He never counted the number of rocks on the ground he'd kick while walking home, but he was positive it was a shit-ton.
Stupid, stupid, stupid, he kept chanting even as he got home and flopped on his bed to sleep—if he could get himself to sleep that night. Why'd you kiss her like that?
Monday came and Killua was determined to redeem himself that day. It took him the entire Sunday to convince himself that he could do it—ask her and maybe try again. It felt like a looming battle and he's the weakest soldier but backing out was out of the question. He felt good that day, too. Having something to look forward to always energized him, and the idea of getting ice cream with ramen girl afterschool electrified his veins. He never missed a volleyball, he never dozed off in class. Gon knew their plans and he was extra jumpy with having an animated Killua around.
"Have fun, okay?" Gon beamed as he sprung up on his feet and grabbed his bag. He pointed a thumb over his shoulder, towards their group of 2-A friends. "I'm gonna go hang out with the boys for a while. The seniors are having a basketball game at the gym!"
Killua nodded and smiled, burying a hand in his pocket for his phone. "I'll probably head straight home after. I'll text you."
Gon yelped an "Okay!" and sprinted out of the room waving a hand at him, shouting, "Ja, ne!"
Killua waved back and snorted, pulling his phone out to notify ramen girl that class was dismissed. They were to meet at the front lawns of campus that time—as Yuhi suggested so that her classmates wouldn't cry out loud teases in the hallways—and so he sent her a text. It's still fairly early, about ten minutes left to spare before the actual dismissal time.
"out early. i'll be at the front gate. probs in one of the benches there. text me"
He hit send, stared at his message for a while, and added: ":)" and another: "see you :)" before grabbing his bag and heading down the stairs.
It's a beautiful day. The afternoon sun smiled brightly up in the clear blue sky, with nimbus clouds dancing around it in a picturesque fashion. The wind was cool, and the air was fresh, exuding the scent of flower buds in planters and thriving grass on the ground. Killua fondly inhaled the smell Spring, tasting its crisp and earthy flavor in his throat, like hot jasmine tea that Yuhi would serve at three in the afternoon on a Saturday.
He sat on the bench and let his head fall back to feel the breeze prance around on his cheeks, making him smile a little as it tickled—and smile even more as Yuhi's face appeared behind his eyelids, tucking her auburn hair behind her ear as the wind blustered tenderly between its strands. Oh, he'd definitely redeem himself that day. He'd buy her ice cream and offer a walk to the park, sit on a bench and watch fireflies flutter around the leaves of small trees. He'd then look her in the eyes, hold her hand maybe, or touch her cheek, and tell her what he ought to do. He'd only hoped she felt the same.
Just then, he heard soft footsteps on the lawn drawing near, and nearer, and nearer until it stopped and made its presence known beside him. Ramen girl, he thought as the mental slideshow ended, feeling his heart beating loud again, enthused and enlivened.
He took a breath, priming his senses for the striking view, and opened his eyes, expecting vibrant auburn irises to stare back. However, he met with hazel gold ones instead, making him sit upright and look around as his eyebrows creased, blinking as he fathomed the instance. He then looked back at her, curious and confused as he muttered, "…witch?"
Lykira seemed unable to lift her face for a smile, and for the first time since Killua had known her, she's projecting an unconfident, diffident air, tone of voice uncharacteristically unhinged as she asked, "Can we talk?"
-Chapter End-
(My brain writing this chapter: no thoughts, just Roroturo-san calling Gon and Killua "My boys!" and Mito-san inviting Yuhi over and cooking for her uwu ;-; my heart cannot rest. I love them sm!)
You guys have got to tell me what you think of this chapter, please (haha). I really tried my best to capture how a 15y/o Killua would feel falling in love with a girl for the first time. I want to know what you think about it. Have you experienced something like this before? I think it's my first time writing about a teenage boy and girl getting together (like, together-together), I'd really appreciate if you'd share with me your thoughts, as always. I enjoyed writing this chapter, though it took a while. But petty teenage dilemma is super fun to write haha! Oh, and also, what do you think of the chapter length? Too long and dragging? How about the plot so far? Too slow? Let now know what you think I am intrigued, and would very much like to know your views on this as readers :3
Replies to guests~
NoodlePooh: Hi, love! Omg, your reviews always make me swoon and giggle like a crazy person. Thank you so much for leaving one after every chapter! I really, really appreciate it. And thank you so much for the kind words. I'm taking them to heart. :') Super happy that you love Yuhi and that you're loving the story/plot so far. Ahhhh I'm flipping and flushed while writing this, I don't know what to say to even equal the support you're giving me but thank you I love you! *smooches* Oh, and good luck on the story you're writing!
Cipiox: Hiii! Wow, thank you so much for you words. They mean a lot to me especially because I'm always worried about characterization and plot progress, so thank you! Thank you for leaving a review as well and telling me what you think, and for the encouragements ahhh ;-; good luck too and stay safe in this pandemic!
Guest (there are five): Hello guest reviewers (that I'm not sure if y'all are just one person, but whatever, I'm still sending love over; take ittt)! Thank you so much for leaving a review once again and for reminding (encouraging) me to update. Really, I was feeling down before I finished this latest chapter, but then I got an email notif from one you saying that you've got separation anxiety from this fic and I'm ;-; I am so sorry! But please rest assured that I will not abandon this fic. I love it too much and I personally want to see it through til the end. So if I go missing for a few months, it's probably because of work and personal stuff but don't fret. I'd publish an A/N if ever something big comes up and I have to go MIA for a long time, dw. Thank you so much for you concerns! And for reading *MWAH* LY.
NEXT CHAPTER: Lykira...? Lykira.
Okay, here's the little announcement. As you may have noticed, I've been skipping the 2x/month update. So I'm here to tell you guys that I might, on a minimum, publish one update per month. However, I cannot guarantee that I could pull it off consistently. I might publish regularly for the next two months and then miss an update again after that. Work's been pretty hectic, and I've been taking additional side jobs for extra income. But, again, like I said, rest assured that I will never leave this story. We'll finish this thing together!
To add, though, I'm not sure if I could pull another update before the year ends (but I will try!). So with that, advanced happy holidays! Wishing you guys a merry Christmas and a happy and safe and sappy new year! 2020 has been super tough, and I'm proud of us for holding on and moving forward. So give yourselves a pat on the back. You deserve it. You are amazing and I love you. Stay safe, okay? *pours hearts*
