Alrighty! This is my first fic, so it might not be the best. Grantit, it's a little…. Ehhhh… but I wanted to get it out there. So, alas, here it is.

Disclaimer I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist or any of it's people… or anything else used in this story… except me. And my family…

Warning: Exreamly weird and random. O.o Retarted, too.

"Mrrr…" Ed mumbled, waking up from a shallow sleep. He opened his eyes and saw a table. She sat up and his eye twitched. "Great. Another neck ache. Another night staring at books. Another falling-asleep-at-the-table. Another--…. No, that's it."

"'Morning, Ed!" Al said, walking downstairs wearing Spiderman Pajamas. They were watching Winry and Pinako's house for a while. The two Rockbells needed to go and pick up some new automail parts in another City, and, it just so happens that Al and Ed came for a checkup on Ed's arm and leg! So, of course, Winry convinced them to stay and keep an eye on the house and Den.

"Whatever" Ed mumbled, moving his head side to side. "ow" he mumbled.

"Fall asleep at the table again?" Al asked, walking to the refridgorator.

"Uh huh" Ed sighed.

"What the?"

"What is it?" Ed turned his head to his brother who was staring into the fridge. "Al?... Al?.. Hey! Alphonse!"

"B-b-b-b…. Brother… there's… kiwi. Everywhere…" Al murmered, staring in disbalife. Ed blinked, confsued.

"What the hell are you talking about, Al?" he asked, standing up. Al pulled out the milk jug, which was filled with kiwi fuits. Ed's eyes widened. Al squeaked

"Brother, it moved!" he said, startled.

"What do you mean 'it moved'!" Ed yelled, eyes wide as Al dropped the jug on the table. The jug shivered like a cold pig (A/N: it's five in the morning, by the way O.o). Al shreaiked like a little girl and Ed blinked.

"BROTHER! THE KIWIS ARE REVOLTING!" Al yelled, hiding behind his brother.

"no, I actualy think they're kinda cute… maybe they'd make good pets." Ed said, nodding slowly.

"Brother! Tha'ts not what I – AH! THEY GOT OUT!" Al screamed. And just as the younger of the Elrics had said, the kiwis had bursted out of the plastic jug. "HOLY--! THEY'RE MULTIPLYING!" Al yelled as the 20 kiwis were suddenly 50.

"Damn, this is weird" Ed mumbled, staring at the kiwis. They paused. Al looked shocked and freaked out, and Ed looking… well, bored. "I'm hungry" he said flatly.

"Then eat the kiwis!" Al yelled, scared half to death of the moving, multiplying kiwis.

"No way! Those suckers 're evil!" Ed said.

"WE HAVE TO CALL SOMEONE!" Al shouted, grabbing the phonse.

"Who ya gonna call?" Ed asked. Suddenly, there was a loud WHAM! Rubble flew everywhere as a HUGE hole in the wall appeired. Standing just outside the hole was a girl in a long black jacket, jeans, and a dark blue T shirt, a black cap on backwards sat atop her head. She looked like just some young teeanger, actualy. Standing next to her was a taller person. A man, actualy, wearing an army jacket and camo pants. On the other side of this girl was another girl. This one was slightly shorter with short, black hair. This girl was wearing a tightfit red shirt and black jeans. The first girl had her hair braided and the man had his in a poneytail, due to the fact it was long, and the second girl, as said above, had her hair down.

"Someone call the Ghost Busters?" The first girl asked.

"no" Al said

"Good. Then we came just in time" The man said.

"My name is Misty and this is my older brother, Josh, and my younger sister, Anna. We heard you have…" thunder sounded and lightning flashed as the girl paused dramaticly. "…Kiwi problems" she said darkly. (A/N: Yeah, me, my brother, and sister)

"Holy pompatoes, Misty! It's worse than we thought!" Anna gasped.

"We need… the big guns" Josh said, also in the same dark tone his sister used. Misty and Anna gasped and Ed and Al just blinked.

"… Did she say 'pompatoes'?" Ed asked randomly, pointing at Anna.

"AHH! THEY HAVE GUNS!" Al shreiked, pointing at the attacking kiwis

"Pueny humans! Give up! We, the all mighty kiwis of sourness, can not be defeated!" a kiwi shouted, suddenly obtaining a mouth.

"DEMONS BE GONE!" Misty yelled, whackign the speaking kiwi with her boot.

"OW! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR, YOU DAMNED EMO BASTARD!" the kiwi yelled.

"OH my GOD! It'S STILL LIVING! WHAT ARE THESE THINGS! THEY'RE WORSE THAN OLD LADIES!" Anna shouted.

"Girls. I have faith in both of you and your ghost powers… but it's time I did something" Josh said.

"NO!" Misty and Anna yelled.

"It is time…" Josh said with a serious face. Ed and Al stared, wondering what the hell was going on. Josh pulled a blender out of his pants, shoved the kiwis in the blender, dumped a bunch of ice, lemon'n'lime soda, and, of course, a hint of God' greatest creation.. .coffee. He pused 'Puray' and the blender did it's job. Unforuntaly, the lid blew off of the blender and the mixture within blasted everywhere. It was like acid, burning through whatever it touched. A large blod was flying staight at the Ed and Al!

GASPETH!

When suddenly, Armstrang burst into the room, creating another gaping hole in the wall.

"NYUUUOOOOO!" He yeleld in slow motion, jumping infront of them. The fizzy goop hit the muscle-man in the chest. Armstrong poofed into thin air and sparkles. Suddenly, Leprichauns rushed down from Winy's room!

"GO, GO, GO! THEY'VE GOT ONE OF OUR MEN!" one leprichaun yelled. The army of itty bitty men came running and threw raindowns and four leafe clovers at everyone.

"Nooo!" Anna yelled, getting smacked in the face with a rainbow. She poofed into mid air and, for some reason, coffee beans.

"ANNA! MY SISTER! NOO!" Misty shouted. She picked up the blender and stared at it. "I HAVE TO PEROUS!" she yeleld and smacked herself in the face with the blender and blew up. Josh blinked, then left.

"OK! Off to Ohio with the wife!" he said, waving as he walked out of the hole in the wall.

"WAIT! HELP!" Ed yelled as the leprichausn ran to him.

"Ed O-Riely! We've found you!" the leader of the leprichauns said, hugging Ed's foot. (A/N: These leprichauns are REALLY small… like.. the side of a sideays 'Enter' button on a keyboard)

"What the fuck!" Ed said. "Offa mah foots!" he said, shaking his foot around, causing him to fall over. The good china cabnit which help all the Rockbell's delicate and preshious items fell over and crashed onto the floor! Glass was littered EVERYWHERE! Ed was getting dragged off by the leprichauns to their secret base under the couch!

"Brother!" Al yelled. He grabbed the nearest thing to try and save his dear brother. A Rockstar Energy drink! He threw it at the leprichauns, but, due to Al's lousy aim, it hit Ed on the head, knocking him out cold. Ed got the can and tried again, only succeding in knocking a hole in the ceiling. "I'LL SAVE YOU, BROTHER!" Al screamed, running to Ed in slow motion.

Suddenly, everything went white and Al was standing at the gate next to Ed.

"What the fuck is going on, today!" Ed said, now conshious. Suddenly, Honhime of Light flew out of the gate and tackled his sons

"I LOVE YOU BARNEY!" Hono-papa shouted, squeazing the living daylights outta the poor guys. Envy came crashing out of nowhere, dressed up like a kitty. Al's eyes widened and sparked, shinning with the light of Christmas past (A/N: Damn, when I said it was gonna be weird… xD).

"Al! Fight it! Don't fall for it!" Ed said depritly, trying to shove the drunken bum, his father, off.

"Must…. Pet…. Kitty" Al said. Suddenly, Mr. Rodgers and The Wiggles flew in, dressed like super heroes

"Now, men! Close the gate!" Mr. Rodgers shouted. The five men closed the doors of the gate and everything came back to reality! Only al and Ed were floating in the air! OUTSIDE THE HOUSE! Sitting on the chimely was Mase Hughes, dressed like an angel – compleat with harp! He was drinking an apple juice box.

"I like cerial!" Mase chanted, smiling happily. Suddenly, the Elric boys fell throug the ceiling, through the second floor, and through the first flare, now lying face first on the cement ground of the basement.

"Al…?... Al?...ALPHONSE!... No.. No… HE'S GONE AGAIN! GOD DAMN YOU, STUPID EQUIVELAT EXCHANGE!" Ed shouted.

"Hey, calm down, Fullmetal!"

Ed turned and saw Roy standing on a stage, a spotlight shining on him. We was wearing a pink tutu.

"What.. in…. the… name… of… God" Ed mumbled, eyes wide.

"WHEEEE!" Roy squeaked happily, bounding off the stage and running at Ed.

"GAH!" Ed yelled, spazzed. He was suddenly lifted from under the arms and thrown into the air, crashing through the ceiling and landing on the kitchen table! (A/N -snickering like a madwoman-) "Ouchy" Ed runned his head and sat up, faced with Winry Rockbel in a giant Transformers' robot. Ed shreakedl ike a little girl as the robot help up a huge wrench. The house was basicly just a heap of rubble, now.

"Edward, what the hell happened to my house!" Auntie Pinako snapped, waving her pipe at Ed.

"WINRY SMASH ED!" the robot yelled, swinging the giant wrench. The huge, metal took landed ontop of Ed!

"AHHHHHHHH!" Ed yelled his lungs out, sitting up from the table he had been sleeping at. He fell over in his chair, landing hard on his ass. "AHHHHHH!" he continued yelled. He looked down at himself, spazzing out. He looked around. Everything seemed normal. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" he shreaked again, before falling over backwards onto his back. Al came running down the stairs.

"Brother! Are you alright? I heard screaming" Al said. He was wearing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles PJs this time. Ed knew everything was safe.

"…I hate kiwis" Ed mumbled.

TADA!

Well, how was it? Please R&R or whatever… Thank you

Misty