Oh my GOD! D! I am so sorry! It's been like… two months since I've updated, right! I am SO SORRY! –sob- xD No, really. O.o Sorry. See, I started 8th grade, my teacher's a Holy Bastard, my brother and sister-in-law got here, my life is a living hell, homework is piling up, I was crammed in an RV with my two sisters, my mom, my brother, a parrot, a cat, and a dog for a week, Anna and I have been shoved into Mom's room to make room for Josh and Dawn in our itty bitty two room house, and I could go on and on, but, you know, I'm sure this must get annoying as shit, so I'm just gonna shut up with my ranting.

Anyway, I'm on my way back home, in the RV. I went to Sedona, Arizona and the Grand Canyon. I went hiking everywhere and I can barely stand xD. I'm listening to random comedians on my brother's Sirious radio thing. O.o.. Yeah.

Anna says hi. O.o….

Oh, one last thing… DANE COOK OWNS YOU ALL!

Disclaimer: Blah blah blah – Don't own FMA – blah blah blah laptop.

"OK, now this is just getting ridiculous." One of the people in the Roy-Tutu tidal wave said.

"Yeah, really" an employee from the grocery store said. And right out of nowhere, an odd little giggle-chuckle could be heard. Everyone turned and saw Ed cracking up, hugging himself. The pupils of his eyes were different sizes (One's small, one's big). "Uhhh…." The employee said nervously.

"Hehehehehehehehehe…. Ehehehehehehehehehe!" Ed giggled happily. Then, what happened next no one could predict….. "AYEAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA!" Ed shouted, jumping into the air. Everyone screamed as the mini-Alchemist went flying and was then dancing on a streetlight.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Inu-Manager shouted.

"Brother!" Al shouted.

"Always knew he'd snap someday" A Roy said, nodding.

"Excuse me, Roy-clone, but would you let me down so I can get my brother?" Al asked.

CLANG!

The Roy-Cone tossed Al over and onto the ground. Hey, I guess the town isn't completely covered in Mustangs.

"Ow.." Al mumbled, standing up. "Brother, get down from there!"

"Coffeeh coffeeh coffeeh coffeeh!" Ed chanted, dancing in circles on the, rather large, streetlight.

Elsewhere

Misty and Anna were sitting on the couch of an RV (A/N: At's right! Due to popular demand, I'm putting us back in, but keeping in mind this is a frikkin' /FMA/ story. '), looking bored as hell. Josh and their mother were singing along to that "I'm too sexy" song that always reminds you of Sesshoumaru. Then when you picture him acting out the song and singing, you just have to crack up… well that's what happens to me, anyway.

Back with pandemonium

"…Um… Hey…. I'm not a dog… lemme out?"

"Cram it, talking-dog!"

"But… But I'm not a dog!"

"I SAID CRAM IT, TALKING DOG!"

"But, for the last time, I'm not a Goddamn talking dog!"

"If I had a buck for every time I heard that…."

"You'd have a buck?"

"EXACTLY! NOT SHUT YER STUPED DOG-MOUTH!"

Other that the Roy stampede, the crazy streetlight-dancing Alchemist, and the crazy Inuyasha-Spirit-Manager; poor, chain-smoking Jean Havoc had been accused of being a dog, and was being hauled off to the pit of animal-hell – the humane society! (enter thunder and lightning here) He was sitting in the back of the truck with a chicken. Havoc blinked and sighed.

"I wonder if I could smoke a chicken feather…. Nah." He said, shaking his head.

"Dog's shouldn't smoke, Sparky" the guy dog-catcher said.

"One, I'm not a dog… two, my name is Jean Havoc… three… LEMME OUTTA HERE!" Jean shouted, kicking the side of the truck.

"NO! BAD DOG!"

Pttttsssssssst!

"AHHHHHHHH! OH FOR THE LOVE OF GOD! IN THE FACE! PEPPER SPRAY IN THE FACE! NOO! NOT FUN!"

WHACK, WHACK, WHACK!

"Huh… I've never seen a dog slam it's face into the side of a truck, before…."

Back with the Elrics

"Brother… come down nice and easy, OK? And don't throw any more soda cans at any innocent girls" Al said slowly. Ed was still dancing on the streetlight, and had somehow obtained a skirt. He was happily singing.

"Imma model, ya know what I mean!" he sang, spinning in a circle. Al sighed

"This is hopeless" he mumbled angrily. "I'd better call someone" he said, pulling out a quarter from nowhere.

"Who ya gonna call?" a random Roy asked.

"GHOST BUSTERS!" and, the guys from Ghostbusters, broke into the scene outta nowhere.

"No!" Al said, shoving the Ghostbusters from whence they came. "Now! To call some real professionals." He said, putting the delicious monies into the monies eating phone machine thingy.

"Hello?" came a voice over the phone

"Misty! Perfect! Ed's going bananas, and--…" Al started in a panicky voice.

"Sorry, Al. I'm smack-dap in the middle of Arizona. Deal with it yourself for once!" Misty growled bitterly

"Man, you're pissy today! What's the matter?" Al asked

"Let's review, shall we, Al?.. I've been crammed in a mini-screaming-metal-death-trap with a mom who's driving me off the fucking wall, a brother who's a pain in the tail who loves to tease me – and you know how much I hate being teased - , a sister-in-law who never talks, but can still read my every thought and is TEN TIMES BETTER than me at the ghost-stuff, Anna – who I don't have a problem with – a parrot that curses in German, a cat that likes to chew on my ear, and a dog that hates me, FOR A WEEK OF HIKING IN AN OLD-PERSON TOWN!" Misty babbled on. Al kinda tuned in and out, getting distracted when a heard of Roys were dressed up as cows.

"Yeah, that's great an' all, Mist, but what do I do about Brother?"

"DEAL WITH IT YOURSELF YA GOOD-FER-NOTHING HUNK OF TIN!"

Click

"Perfect" Al mumbled sarcastically. "Juuust perfect. What am I gonna go now?" he asked himself. Ed continued dancing. Al started pacing back and forth. In the background, Breda was being chased by dogs, Riza was being attacked by cows, and Fuery was being chased by ravens – AKA – Big. Fucking. Black birds.

Well, meanwhile, Ed had been captured by policemen and hauled off to the prison for streaking.. .even thou was just dancing on a streetlight, not runnin' around nude. (A/N: AH! O.O –just now spilled a monkeyload of cheez-it crumbs all over her laptop—spazzes and stares for a sec—turns her laptop over and whacks it on the bottom multiple times, trying to knock out the crumbs- Whew…) Sorry fan girls!...?... I know. I'm disappointed, too. (Yeah. Sure.)….

Well, anyway.

At the local prison

"Nobody knows the trouble I've seen! Nobody knows my soorrowwwwww……" Ed sang, sitting in a jail cell. He pulled a harmonica out of his pocket and started banging it on the wall…. O.o.

"Ed! Ed! Is that you!" came a voice

"… Lieutenant Havoc?" Ed asked.

"Yes! It is you!" Havoc said from the cell next to Ed.

"How'd you end up in here?" Ed asked.

"Some idiot thought I was a dog.. and threw me in jail…" Havoc said. "..Got a cig on ya, by chance?"

"Nope. Sorry." Ed said. "..And why am I wearing a skirt?"

Elsewhere.

"But I'm not a robot, for the last time!"

"Yeah. Sure, bub! Now get in the truck! We need more big ones like you in the academy"

"What academy?"

"The robot academy, stupid!"

"BUT I'M NOT A ROBOT!"

Al was being nagged by some old guy in a gray suit. Apparently, he was being dragged to a school for robots.

"IN THE TRUCK, DAMMIT!" The man said, tugging off Al's head and kicking him into the truck. "Eheheheheh" he chuckled as he got into the truck and drove off.

Meanwhile, the Roys were carrying the poor citizens to Minnesota, where they will proceed to break their necks, pour jelly over them, and sacrifice them to the God of Jelly – Dane Cook.

Elsewhere… again.

"Imma jump out the window, Anna." Misty said. "I can't take much more of this" she said. Anna sighed, knowing her sister was going to go into another rant. "Not only did I find that my spirit guide is a bunny… but everyone else's are things that eat bunnies! How fucked is that!

"AND I'm trapped in this damn screaming metal death trap with crazies! I wanna go home!" Misty continued to complain about her life and Anna started reading a book whilst petting Savannah, the unusually fluffy kitty that belongs to her brother and sister-in-law.

Suddenly, the RV stopped

"OK, guys! I gotta stop for gas – we're on a 1/4th of a tank." Their mom said, parking at a gas station. Misty and Anna blinked, watching as the adults left the car.

"… Let's go!" Misty said, jumping out of the RV, running and getting into the driver's side of the Geo tracker they were trailing being the RV. Anna unhooked the tow bar and got in the car.

"Hang on.. do you even know how to drive?" she asked.

"No, but I watch Mom all the time" Misty said happily.

"But it's a stick!" Anna said.

"I can drive a stick shift!" Misty said, starting up the car.

"But you don't even have a li—AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Anna yelled as Misty took off in the car.

Minnesota

"OK.. what now, boss?" an employee of the grocery store asked. The Inuyasha possessed Manager pulled out a violin.

"What else! WE DANCE!" he shouted, and started playing the violin and dancing like an Irish tap dancer on top of a Roy's head. He was suddenly in a plaid man-miniskirt – AKA, a kilt. O.o

"Oooohhh! Tap dancing man skirt!" the Roy said happily, clapping his hands together. The employees slapped their foreheads and sighed, unable to believe that they have to work for this guy, and are in a tidal wave of gay Colonels. It was now that the little purple-blue Geo Tracker came plowing in, running over Roys and scattering them. At the wheel, was the 13-year-old Misty, looking at a map while she drove illegally. Anna was screaming her lungs off and then clapped her hands over her eyes.

"MISTY! DRIVE THE CAR!" she shouted, grabbing the map.

"Whoa!" Misty said, eyes wide. "What are all these Roys here for!... AND WHY ARE THEY WEARING TUTUS!" she asked.

"Hell if I know!" Anna said.

Prison

"Got any threes?"

"Go fish"

"Dammit…"

Ed and Havoc were locked in a thrilling game of Go Fish. Still stuck in the prison cells, they were two bored men. A prison guard walked up.

"Edward Elric and Jean Havoc; you've made bail" he said.

"Huh!" they asked.

"Yours free to go" the man said, opening up the doors.

"FREEDOM!" they yelled, running out.

So, with Ed and Havoc free, the Roy problem taken care of, Misty and Anna wreaking havoc on the world, the Inu-Manager and his employees dancing, and Al safely tucked away in The Robot Academy, the world is... Somewhat safe again.

TADAAAA!

Once again, I am so sorry this one took so long to put out! The good news is, I made it a nice length! 7 pages!

I give credit where credit is due, people. :D

Not much to say, t'day. So.. .Here ya go. Laters!

- Misty