The only engagement gift Kara did not return was the book of poetry given to her by her fiancé's older brother.

There was a lot of things in her childhood and a handful of things in her adulthood that Kara refused to talk about. She had been tempted a few times when Karl gave her that knowing look, the one that told her he could handle knowing how bad things could get for her.

The last time she broke down and admitted something to him was in those stupid forests around Delphi. She was just so happy to see him that when he asked her to tell him a secret, a game they had played for as long as they had known one another, she told him right away about her part in Zak's death. The Old Man and Lee knew about it so she didn't really think she had to keep it hidden anymore. Not that she was going to walk around telling people how she helped kill the youngest Adama or anything.

Kara sighed and pulled herself up to a seated position in her bunk. There was a lot of things about Zak that she hadn't told anyone. It was a private part of her life, and she felt like if she talked about it, it would disappear.

Her hand reached out to the shelf fastened to the head of her bunk, and she grasped the worn spin of a book resting on top. The leather cover was cool against her skin thanks to the cold battlestar air. She had had it for only a handful of years, but she had read it cover to cover so many times she lost count long before the Cylons attacked.

There were some secrets about Zak that weren't even about Zak. This book was one of them.

Kara's mind flashed back to those excruciatingly painful days after the funeral when she had to get herself back in order. There was a post waiting for her on Galactica and she knew she couldn't leave things the way they were in Delphi. She didn't want the painful reminders of what she had done.

She boxed up anything that reminded her of Zak, knowing that years down the line, when she was ready, she would be able to take them out again. She filled out the necessary paperwork to have her rent paid from the military salary she would be receiving and stopped by to tell her landlord the new situation. He asked about what her fiance would be doing while she was in space, and it took all of Kara's strength to not lash out in anger.

The last thing Kara addressed was the small pile of wrapped boxes sitting by the stairs. She didn't open them. Instead, she just calmly wrote return to sender on each and every one. After a second, she added a quick red scrawl of sorry on the top of the nearest box. She didn't want to explain to anyone how she was doing. She didn't wanted the sympathy of strangers. Let them think the wedding was called off because of something traditional like a groom's cold feet or the bride being a whore. Kara didn't care.

The only engagement gift Kara did not return was the book of poetry given to her by her fiancé's older brother. It had been wrapped in plain brown paper unlike the other packages with their bows and shiny wrap. She recognized the handwriting right away.

She opened the package slowly, being careful not to rip the paper. Somehow seeing their names written out together by Lee was comforting. She didn't want to destroy that with a careless rip. The paper was still tucked away at the top of her closet in Delphi. She had checked.

Kara grasped the book tightly against her chest, smiling at the familiar weight, and pushed out of her bunk. She ignored the pilots who called out to her to join a triad game as she left the bunkroom and started down the corridor.

The walk to the CAG's office wasn't the shortest distance she'd ever traveled, but the journey was over before she realized it began. She knocked softly on the hatch, unconsciously clutching the book a little tighter. Lee's voice called out for her to enter. "How did I know you'd be doing paperwork?"

Lee's face slid into a smile as soon as he saw it was her. "I'm always doing paperwork, Kara."

"True," she said, walking over to his desk. She held his eyes for a few breaths and then dropped her book on the desk.

"What's this?"

"The reason why I know Kataris," Kara said, taking a seat in the chair opposite him. "I thought you should know."

Lee picked the book up and turned it in his hands a few times before opening it. His eyes skimmed the page, and Kara could sense the exact moment that he realized what he was holding. "I thought this got lost in transit," he said, his eyes jumping up to meet hers. "My mother said that you returned all the gifts."

"I returned everyone except that," Kara said softly. "I couldn't even bear to open them. I just scrawled return to sender and forgot about them."

"Why'd you open this one?"

"Because it was from you and for some reason, that meant something at the time."

Lee closed the book and ran his fingers over the cover. "It's worn."

"I've used it a lot." Kara felt a smile flirting at the corners of her lips. "Anyway, I know it's a few years late, but I just wanted to say thank you."

Lee held the book out to her. "You're welcome."

Her hand brushed across his as she went to take the book, and for a moment, she thought he was going to say something. He looked like he was going to say something. Then the moment passed. Kara clutched the book back to her chest and silently wondered why Lee was still staring at her.

"I'm glad you kept it," he finally said.

Kara gave a small nod and stared down at the book. She didn't want to leave, but she had no reason to stay. She wasn't about to tell Lee she was shaken up by what happened to Kat. That would be admitting weakness, and Starbuck didn't show weakness. She was about to tell him not to work too late when he groaned loudly. "Problem?"

"These flight schedule revisions aren't going so great. Kat was a good partner for Shiner. She kept him focused. Not to mention that Palladino's out indefinitely. You know as much as I do how fraking hard it is to adjust to one pilot being out of rotation. I have two."

Kara nodded and, standing up, set her book on the chair behind her. She made her way to the other side of the desk and grabbed the flight schedules. "Let me see."

She scanned the lists, seeing there were over a dozen problems to be ironed out. It was nothing Lee couldn't handle, though. At the most, it was an hour's work, maybe two. It slowly dawned on her what this was all about. Lee knew how shook up she was. He was trying to give her something to focus on, a method of comfort he knew she would never refuse especially when it meant admitting he needed her help.

Kara kept the smile on the inside as she leaned over his shoulder. "Well, I can fly a double so you can start by moving me into this first shift…"