Chapter 6
The days fell into weeks quite quickly. Pam and Jim didn't speak anymore than necessary. She transferred calls to him when she had to do so and answered his calls when he called in. Pam felt there were no words to be said. His actions spoke clearly to her. He obliviously didn't really love her. How could he? He was leaving her. Jim spoke no words because what could he say that hadn't already been said? Her actions spoke clearly. She obliviously didn't want him, let alone love him.
The whole office seemed to be in mourning over their collective losses. No practical jokes. No banter. Jim didn't even bother Dwight. But most noticeable of all was no Pam Pong. Occasionally, Pam would catch Jim looking at her sadly but then they would both turn away.
It was the Friday the weekend before Pam's wedding. Roy stopped by at the reception area to give Pam a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving for the weekend. He was heading out for his bachelor party. He was meeting his friends at the bar and then they were driving to Atlantic City. Pam thought she should be jealous or worried but all she felt was relieved. Thankfully, she would be alone this weekend. It had taken a lot of convincing but Roy had agreed to no sex until the wedding. She told him she wanted their wedding night to be special. She thought time would help her prepare herself to be a wife to Roy but all she felt was sick to her stomach. It was approaching far too quickly.
Jim's last day was this coming Tuesday. He wanted to pack and prepare for the trip and immediate the move. At least he had something to focus on. He barely slept. He packed. He went to work. He tried not to love Pam. All in all, he was pretty busy.
Pam got home and was looking forward to silence. She needed a place to work on putting Jim in the proper heading: ex-best friend. She wanted to be able to walk down the aisle on Saturday with her world in one piece. She went to open the front door but realized Roy had the house keys. He slipped them off her car key ring when it was serviced last week and apparently didn't bother to return it. Arghh! It just figures. Glancing at her watch, she realized if she hurried she could probably catch them at the bar before they left. Otherwise, she would be locked out.
As she drove over to the bar, she called Roy's cell phone. He doesn't answer. It figures. Grrrr! As she is pulling up, she sees Roy is leaving the bar. She is going to honk the horn and yell to him but is brought up short. He is getting into a car with a very pretty blonde. She wonders where they are going. After a moment, she realizes they aren't going anywhere but the backseat. There is still enough daylight to see the blonde had removed her top and bra. Roy is moving around and then the blonde is straddling him. Pam is blinking. She can barely register what she is seeing. The sluttish little blonde is riding her finance like a cowgirl. How can this be happening? How can this be? Go! I need to go. I have no where to go! I have no keys! Go! He is doing someone else!
Pam has no idea how she got there but she found herself parked in front of Jim's house. She is sitting there, numb and confused. Ten years! Ten years! How could he do this to me? How could he? It must be me! Jim doesn't want me either. Ten years! In front of Jim's door, the tears begin. She can't help it. She shouldn't be here. She knows that but she has no where else to go. She has no one else to go to.
She knocks as her tears turn into sobs. She shouldn't be here. Jim probably doesn't want her here. He is leaving her. Jim opens the door and is shocked to find Pam standing there. His Pam is standing on his doorstep crying uncontrollably. So much for convincing himself he doesn't care. He doesn't know what to do so he does the only thing that feels right. He pulls her into his arms and holds her close as she sobs into his chest. When she quiets a bit, he turns her into his side and shoulder to guide her into his house without letting her go.
His roommate sees who it is and what is happening and has enough brains to grab his wallet and keys out the front door he goes without a word. Jim moves her over to the newly evacuated sofa and seats her on it. His shirt is wet with her tears. Still he is holding her close unwilling to let her go. It feels too good. He needs to hold her probably more than he needs to be held but he doesn't give a damn.
They are just sitting next to each other. Jim's thigh and leg are molded to hers. Her head is on his shoulder absorbing all the strength he so willingly provides. She isn't talking. He doesn't care. She doesn't need to talk. His arm remains around her. She feels safe, protected and may be even a bit loved. Her sobs are now quiet little sniffles. She opens her pocketbook and takes out a tissue. She blows her nose and wipes up the mascara that not doubt has left her lashes. She takes a deep breath. May be the first she has taken in weeks. She takes another. If Jim couldn't see the VCR clock, he wouldn't have known that they have been sitting here like this for over an hour.
She turns her head to look up at him. He gazes down into her beautiful watery eyes and says, "Hey."
Pam gives him a small smile. "Hey." She knows she should move out of his arms but she can't bear to do that. He makes her feel so secure and protected. She can't give that up yet so she tries to tell him why she is here. "I, um...I, a..." She just starts sobbing again. She is crying for all the lost time. Ten years of wasted life and there was no getting them back. They were gone, just like Jim would be by the end of the week. Her heart broke completely. It just shattered. It was could never be repaired. It was just like her relationship with Roy. She couldn't have possibly married him. Who was she kidding? His cheating was not even the final straw. It was the fact that she couldn't let Roy touch her after Jim kissed her. It almost wasn't Roy's fault. But none of it mattered Jim was still leaving. He obliviously didn't love her enough to stay. She could never ask him too even if it killed her and it just might.
Jim heart broke a little more as each one of her tears traced down her skin. He wants to kiss them away but he knew that was not what she was looking for especially not from him. She is in his arms seeking his comfort and he would not fail in providing it to her. He held her until this new batch of tears subsided. She blew her nose again and looked up at him apologetically. He hated letting her go but he needed to tend to all her needs for as long as she would let him. Jim hugged her closer for a second before standing up. He picked up the phone and ordered her favorite pizza and asked for her favorite ice cream for dessert to be delivered. He went to the refrigerator and bought back a couple of sodas and a couple of beers. He held out one of each to her until she chose the beer. He quickly set down the coke and opened the beer for her. Jim opened a soda for himself. He needed to stay clear headed. He sat back down clinked her bottle with his can and pulled her back into his body. He held his breath not sure how she would response to him holding her again. Both of them seemed to breathe a sigh of relief as she settled back down comfortably. He reached for the remote and set it next to her. He was happy just to sit there with her.
Their silence was interrupted by the doorbell. Jim got up and paid for the pizza. He set it and the ice cream down on the coffee table and went to the kitchen. He stopped for a moment to look at her on his couch. Jesus! What was all this about? What did it mean? So many questions, so few answers but at least she was here. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He returned to the living room with TV trays, plates, napkins and spoons. She was done with her beer so he offered her another beer and a can of soda. She chose the beer, once he opened it, she took it with purpose. He opened the soda for himself with shaky hands. It means nothing that she is sitting on my sofa getting tipsy the weekend before her wedding. We are best friends and she is here for...for what? His wishful side thought may be she was here for him but reason took over quickly. Support. She wants her best friend to support her like he should even if it is for the last time.
She had put a piece of pizza on his plate and took one for herself. He sat back down next to her as close as he could. She took a healthy bite of pizza and moaned with pleasure at the taste. "Mmmm, that's so good." Her moan made him want to groan. That's what she said. Damn! She really was clueless of how sexy she was. She would be the death of him. Death by over stimulation but what a way to go. Even eating pizza with her was erotic. He had it bad! He pulled his plate into his lap so he wouldn't be so oblivious. He focused on eating and drinking his soda. He stole glances at her as her lips wrapped around her beer bottle and took a long drink. He swallowed hard at the sight. This was instantly followed by an image of her wrapping her lips around him to drink him. This is not good. Think clean thoughts. It amazed him how she could torture him so unknowingly.
After her piece, she finished her beer. She held out her empty like a child and said "More please." He hesitated but her eyes begged and it was useless to try to refuse her. He gave her an opened beer and a glass of water. She realized the glass of water was because he didn't want her to get a headache. She giggled. "You are always taking care of me. Thanks Jim." Yup, she was a bit more than tipsy now. Her eyes were a bit glassy and her voice was kind of relaxed in a sing-song way.
When she reached for the remote she knocked it off the arm of the couch. "Opps!" She bent over to get it giving Jim a stunning view of her round bottom. His heart raced. He never saw her in that angle. He literally throbbed in his pants. Down boy! "Help!" She shouted and he quickly stopped her from falling over by grabbing her around her waist. In this awkward position, her ass was right in front of his zipper pressing into his erection. More giggles. Then a happy little shout "Got it!" as she straightens up with the remote. She showed him triumphantly. She was proud of her hard fought victory. Damn it, she is drunk! More giggles. Happy wonderful giggles. He loved her laugh, her smile and especially her giggles. They were just so adorable.
She turned and dropped down onto the couch. Pam pointed the remote and hit the button. Nothing happened. Frowning, she hit it again. When the TV failed to obey, she handed him the remote like a sad little girl. "Broken."
He smiled and shook his head. "No, Pam it's not broken." He hit the right button and handed it back to her showing her where the channel button and volume was on it. She channeled surfed quickly. Pam would pause on a channel, laugh at something that wasn't funny and continue on to another channel. After she went through all the channels twice then she pouted. "Nothing is on." It was typical Friday night programming. She drank the rest of her beer and frowned.
Jim remembered that he owned every one of Pam's desert island movies picks plus her very favorite one of all. He opened the DVD drawer and easily found them. He smiled at her as he held out all 6 of them for her. She was amazed because even though she only named 5 in the game and not her absolute favorite it was there awaiting her pleasure. She clapped her hands in pure joy and pulled her favorite. He set it up and handed her the glass of water. She drank it without question. As he sat back down he snagged the ice cream and the spoon. I handed them to her as she handed back the empty water glass. She snuggled into him and practically purred. Jim put his arm around her and held her close to his heart, right where she belonged.
She, with some difficulty of impaired coordination, opened the ice container and spooned some up. Pam surprised him by holding the spoon to my lips. He didn't really want any but there was no way he could refuse her. He opened his mouth and she fed him. His body practically howled at the eroticism of this moment. The entire night was like a fantasy come true. He wanted it never to end. She then took a spoonful herself and "Mmmmm, I love this." escaped her.
She spooned some more up for him and Jim told he did too. "Me, too." Although he was referring to her feeding me from a shared spoon not the taste of the ice cream. After five minutes, she was really having trouble aiming the spoon. She frowned and handed him the spoon. Jim happily took over the responsibility of feeding her. It was a simple loving act but it was turning very sexual. He could barely watch her part her lips, before sliding the spoon into her mouth to leave an icy deposit on her tongue. Then Jim had to endure feeling her swallow with a happy little moan every time. It wasn't until half way through the movie that she was done with the ice cream. I think we were both disappointed. He set the empty container and spoon down. Pam wiggled around a bit then snuggled into him further. Jim reached up and gently tucked her hair behind her ears. He continues tucking her hair until it became petting her face. She seemed to really enjoy this and soon she was softly snoring.
Jim didn't know when the movie ended; he just sat there holding a sleeping Pam half in his lap and half on his chest. Jim knew he was grinning like a fool and he didn't give a damn. He was just in such a happy place. He didn't let in negative thoughts of her wedding or Roy dampens his mood. She was just like a fairy princess...who snored, but it was so cute. He still didn't know why she was here but he still didn't want to lose this moment in time with her. She shifted and breathed hard. No, don't wake up. Sleep. Stay asleep. Don't get up and leave me. Please, stay asleep.
She stretched over the top of him and smiled in a very catlike fashion. She smiled deeply as she felt him holding her. Then she frowned in confusion and her eyes flew open. Upon seeing him she relaxed into him again and smiled up at him. "Hey."
Jim's smile returns, "Hey." He said it so softly and so gently she could barely hear it. She started to get up. She is leaving. Damn it, how can I get her to stay? Pam was smiling down at him. She looked sleepily and only a little bit tipsy.
"Jim, can I ask you a favor?" She looked down shyly.
He would have given her the world all she needed to do was ask. May be he was a sap but he couldn't help it. "Anything."
"Can I, um, would you, um mind if I well I don't have my..." I sound like an idiot. Just ask him! Argh! She finally blurred it out. "Can I stay here tonight?"
She asked so fast he wasn't sure if he heard her correctly. "What? You need a place to stay. Sure. Of course, you can have my bed." Oh my God! She is going to sleep in my bed.
She was quick to reassure him. "No, no I don't want to take your bed. That's not fair. I can, um sleep on the couch."
God no! Even if I am not in it I want you in my bed. You aren't sleeping on the couch. "Don't be silly. Let me take you upstairs and show you where everything is so you can be comfortable." Jim was trying to wrap his mind around seeing her in his bed. It was almost too much to think about.
He showed her to the upstairs bathroom and gave her a t-shirt and shorts so she could sleep comfortably. It didn't have all that much to do with the fact that he was dying to see her in his clothing. His heart did a flip and raced all at once. He quickly changed his sheets and set out fresh towels for her on the hallway chair. Jim ran downstairs to change and use the bathroom himself. He was coming up the stairs just as she was coming out of the bathroom. She looked unbelievably adorable. It looked like she opted for only the t-shirt. It was a bit baggy but in the hallway light he could see her outline vaguely. Her legs were shapely and bare. Her hair was out of its god forsaken barrette and hung loosely around her face.
He realized he was staring to the point of almost drooling. "So, um okay. Here are clean towels for the morning for you. I changed the sheets. Oh we should get you some aspirin and water to avoid a headache tomorrow." He brush past her to get into the bathroom and felt her nipples harden. He also heard her intake of breath. Opps! Looks like I am not the only one having some problems here. He wiped the grin off his face and returned with water and the pills.
"Thanks, Jim." She knew her nipples were showing through the thin t-shirt but she couldn't do anything about it. She took the medicine and returns the glass to the sink. He was standing in the hallway not knowing what to do. She should remember he is leaving her. She should just sleep on the car. She probably shouldn't be here so near to a bed with all of her thoughts. "I should really sleep on the couch. You have been so wonderful to me. I can't kick you out of bed."
"Beasley, time for bed. Let me tuck you in." He was trying to lighten the mood. He was trying to figure out a way not to jump her. She stopped debating the matter and allowed him to lead her over to his single extra long dorm style bed. He dramatically pulled back the covers and waved her in. "My Lady, your bed." Pam slid into his bed and put her head on his pillows. She looked up at him with a sweet little smile and her hair fanned out around her. It was hard to believe. He didn't want to move, he just wanted to memorize this moment. Jim tries as he might be able to stop his body from responding to the sight of this amazing woman in his bed.
Jim turned to go. Pam squeaked out a little "No." He stopped at the door and looked at her questioningly. "Tell me a story. Stay and talk to me. Don't leave me alone." Yet! Please. You are leaving me soon enough.
Jim smiled and came back over to sit on the edge of his bed looking at the woman he loved. Pam looked so happy he was giving her what she wanted. It could all be so perfect, if only... "Okay. What kind of story?"
"I don't know" She yawned. "Anything."
"Hmmm, okay. Once upon a time there was a beautiful Princess, who snored..." Jim tried to relax her with his voice so he could let her sleep. He told her a story for about fifteen minutes after her eyes closed. Her breathing was deep. So he was going to hightail it downstairs before he did something that she regretted. There is only so much control a man had and she was pushing his far past reasonable limits.
As he stood up, she grabbed his hand and flipped back the covers. Pam had a surprisingly strong grip as she pulled him towards her. "Stay with me."
His heart raced at triple speed. Jim's voice came out a little harsh. "I can't Pam. You know that." Are you trying to kill me? How much can I take of you looking gorgeous and adorable. All the while laying in my bed with your huge eyes begging me to join you?
Pam's eyes pleaded with him. "Please. There might be monsters under you bed." Jim smiled then laughed. He shook his head. How could he not be completely in love with her? This was his Pam. "Please Jim. Please."
"Anything for you." Jim gave up. He was no match against her begging. On top of which, he wanted to be no where else. Right here in this bed, right next to Pam is where he belonged. Screw, Roy! It was a harsh reality and a line Jim had never crossed. Right now he didn't care about right and wrong he just knew he would die if he didn't get in this bed with her. They weren't going to do anything, anyway so there was no problem. No problem at all!
