Kara and Lee promised to never tell anyone about the few days she spent living in Lee's apartment on Picon after the funeral.

Kara and Lee promised to never tell anyone about the few days she spent living in Lee's apartment on Picon after the funeral.

It wasn't the guilt or some misguided sense of having made a mistake that kept them silent.

Sometimes there were things simply too private to share.

The knock on his door came at two in the morning. Lee ignored it as he poured himself another glass of whiskey. The liquid burned his throat, but it didn't stop the pounding. Growling, he slammed down the glass and got to his feet. He staggered slightly on his way across the room and only cursed a few times before ripping the door open. The sight waiting for him on the other side made his heart drop out.

Kara looked a mess. She had a bag clutched tightly in her hand. Her dress blue jacket was completely unbuttoned, its fabric so wrinkled it was barely recognizable. Her hair was half in her face, and her eyes were red and puffy. She had been crying.

"I…" Kara bit down on her lip as her voice cut out. She had no clue why she was here. She had been in the spaceport, prepared to go back to Delphi where she would hole up in her flat and drink away this latest heartache, and then she was on a shuttle to Picon. All she had was the sweatshirt and shorts she had changed out of that morning before the funeral. Her feet had taken her to his doorstep even before her mind realized that was her destination. "I don't know why I'm here."

Lee watched her for a moment before pushing the door open. "Come in."

Kara's head went down, and she stepped past him, pausing only to drop her bag. Lee shut the door and leaned against the wall, watching her attention slowly sweep across his home. Her eyes came to rest on him for only a few moments and then went back to staring at her surrounding. Lee knew he should probably feel self-conscious, standing here in only a pair of sweatpants with his brother's fiancee, but he was too drunk to care.

She felt Lee's eyes on her as she stepped up to the table in the middle of the room and rang a finger along the almost empty bottle of alcohol. For some reason, she didn't think this was how Lee would cope with his brother's death. Then again, he was always the best at closing off, and alcohol would only make it easier.

Reality hit him like a brick wall as he watched her brush her tears away with the back of her hand. He had only known Kara for a year and a half, but he was ready to do anything to keep her from ever looking this lost again. "You can stay as long as you want."

Kara's eyes flicked up to meet his. "The last shuttle for Caprica leaves in an hour."

Lee pushed off the wall and walked over to her side. "You can stay as long as you want."

Kara gave a small nod, and the next thing she knew she was reaching out for him and his arms were holding her up and she was finally losing it. That last little bit of strength was gone.

Lee wasn't sure what came over him. He and Kara had been friends since the first moment Zak introduced them, but never once had he let his heart factor into the way he treated her. He had known for a few months now that he was in love with his brother's girl. He hadn't let it show.

But there was something about having her chose to be with him when she was so broken and bruised. Lee had never been the kind of man who was insecure about the choices he made or the world he chose to live in. His resolve didn't break easily and he had enough pride for a dozen pilots, but there was something about Kara Thrace that made that null and void.

Which was why when she looked up at him, tears in her eyes and on her cheeks, he knew he didn't have a prayer. The kiss was gentle at first. Then he felt her fingers thread themselves through his hair, tightening her hold on him.

He didn't have very far left to fall, but in that moment, he hit rock bottom. He was lost.

Nothing mattered. The rational thought that this was the woman who had desperately loved his brother only days earlier didn't penetrate his mind.

Kara was kissing him.

He had sworn to himself that he wouldn't do this. She wasn't ever supposed to find out what he felt for her. He made a decision, and he wasn't going to compromise.

Her lips were convincing him that he was wrong.

Right now, in this moment, Lee knew he would do anything and everything she asked him.

Kara was the one left confused when they finally broke apart, the desperate need for oxygen overruling everything else. Lee had an excuse for kissing her. He was drunk. What she couldn't figure out was why she had kissed him back. Sure, she could blame it on the guilt and the pain, but that was the easy way out. Because if an easy lay was what she was looking for to block out the ache, she could have had that with over five dozen men she passed on her way to this point.

Never in her life had Kara met something she couldn't resist. There wasn't a man she couldn't turn down if that's what she decided she wanted to do. It was that way with Zak. He was one of her students. She knew that the rules said she couldn't let him take her out for a drink, but she was infamous for breaking the rules. She could have said no to him in a second and not regret it one bit.

She said yes because she didn't see a reason to say no.

Kara knew that at any moment in their relationship, she could have walked away. If things got too heavy to fast, she could walk away. If Zak turned out to not care for her like he kept insisting, she could walk away. If the fire fizzled out or threatened to consume her completely, she could walk away. If her ability to fly was threatened, if they wanted to take away her lifeline, she could walk away.

It would hurt… but she could walk away. She would walk away.

Yet she currently had Zak's brother leaning against her. She was effectively pinned against a wall, and his head was resting on her shoulder as he fought to get his breath back.

She had spent years of her life walking away from the things that scared her yet here, in this moment, she couldn't do it. She couldn't walk away from Lee.

She felt Lee shift a few inches and then he was kissing that familiar sweet spot on her neck, the one it took most guys weeks to figure out. She wanted to push him away, to tell him that they couldn't, but there wasn't one part of her body willing to cooperate.

Nothing had ever had this much control over her. She had worked too hard to let that happen. Being able to call her life her own was something she fought for since the moment she left her mother and her childhood behind. This world she lived in had worked so perfectly for years. Up until this moment, she had never realized how much she had been hiding, though. She had never had this much to lose, and she had never cared less about losing it.

Lee felt her tremble against the soft touch of his lips, and he knew he should pull back and apologize. They should not be doing this.

He knew what pulling back would mean. He was a strong man so he knew he could do it. He could apologize, admit that he was wrong, knowing what would come of it. He would lose her. He would sever the last ties he had to her, and she would walk straight out that door and out of his life.

He had lost many things that way over the years ranging from his relationship with his father, the Commander, to his own passion for flying. Nothing he had ever lost was missed, at least not before this moment. The answer why that was made him pause in his gentle caressing of her skin.

It would hurt to lose her because he had never in his life been this much in love. He had never wanted something as much as he wanted Kara.

She pulled his chin up so that she could kiss him again, and Lee let his thoughts fade away. It was out of his hands.

For the first time in years, he didn't want the control. Smiling, Lee let everything go.

Kara pushed off the wall and started backing their bodies towards the couch. She was a fool to be doing this, but she couldn't stop.

With one taste, she had become addicted.

For three days and three nights, they stayed in that bubble, not talking, just feeling. And then on the fourth morning, Lee woke up to feel the bed empty next to him.

It wasn't a surprise. He had known in the beginning that she was never going to stay. There was just too much pressure on their shoulders.

Lee let out a long sigh and stared up at the ceiling. Maybe someday when they were both stronger, more sure of what was going on inside of them, they would figure out what had just happened. Someday they would find the meaning behind the actions.

Until then, he was determined to feel no shame.