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SUMMARY: Anna thought she knew why the Asakuras had taught her to keep her away from Yoh, yet the story goes deeper.


Chapter 25:…and the smitten girl…(Part 2)

"Hello Yohmei - sama!" Anna greeted him formally when she called the old man to tell him about the first aid training from the hospital. "Yes, I am well. Yes, Yoh's dying from the training to the point he's barely conscious, but I'll beat him awake for the one he has today. Thank you for the money you invested in me for this opportunity, I won't disappoint. I am very sure it will be very useful and I can then also teach Yoh first aid later on. Thank you again. Good da- yes, I am eating regularly and putting Yoh to sleep in the garden so his snoring doesn't disturb my sleep sounds like a good training idea. I'll think where to add it on his hell training schedule. Go-Yes, yes, he is not upsetting me with anything else, he is fine. Have to go beat him awake, he's lazing too much in the bathroom! Yes, I am eating, he hasn't food poisoned me, I know I can call delivery, thank you. Good day!"

The girl hung up sighting and having a terrible urge to punch something because that 'someone' she wanted to hit wasn't there. Yohmei was exasperating with his overbearing care for her wellbeing to the point she considered tearing the phone cable out of the wall. At least it wasn't a waste of time calling him about the first aid training, but she still felt pretty annoyed both because Yohmei had irritated her and because she knew what she had read in Yoh's mind about him. And if she didn't hate him before more than she generally hated anyone, now she really despised him with all her heart. She wondered how she didn't growl or snarl at him, but yet again, she was incredibly good at putting up walls and facades. Or at least she was when Yoh wasn't breaking her concentration or her feelings for him…

'No wonder Kino left to live on her own if he was like this…' Anna thought and as on cue, the phone rang and she knew it would be her master - she was expecting the call.

She took a deep breath to calm her nerves before she picked up.

"Anna?" Kino's voice said coldly as if checking if her student was indeed on the phone.

"Good morning, Kino-sensei." The girl replied eyeing the corridor for Yoh, yet there was no sign of him, so she focused on the call.

"Anna." Kino repeated in a more neutral voice as a greeting before she added, worry visible in her voice. "Has something happened to you? I had a vision about you being in danger before everything went black."

"Yoh and I were attacked by some street gang." Anna answered not sure if her sensei saw more than that.

"Did you get hurt?"

"Yoh did. We got to the hospital, but he'll live, he's had it worse." Her voice sounded confident, it had to.

Lying to Kino was a hard and dangerous task, yet she tried to stick to the true part of the story. After all, Yoh was psychically hurting because she got physically hurt, so it wasn't entirely a lie, the girl told herself.

"I see." Her voice sounded thoughtful, but if Kino detected the lie, she didn't say.

There was a pause before Kino spoke again and despite expecting them, Anna still felt taken aback by her words.

"Anna, are you falling for him?" Her voice held no emotion.

"Kino-sensei, you know I love Yoh." Anna replied in a similar tone.

"I know you do Anna, but it's a difference between loving someone and actually loving them whole-heartedly. You know we talked about this." Kino replied voice grave.

"Yes, we did." Anna's voice still lacked any emotion.

The girl looked again down the corridor, but there was no sign of Yoh. She leaned down the wall, so she was now sitting down, legs stretched, phone still in her hand.

"Anna, I don't want you to get hurt for Yoh physically, the boy can handle himself, we've already discussed about how you shouldn't by all means intervene in any of his fights. He has the Asakura blood and will make it through whatever is thrown at him. He's been training for this and it's good ongoing resistance training. So, I hope you won't come in between in future fights." Kino's voice was low and authoritative.

"Yes, Kino-sensei, I apologize." Anna tried to suppress the relief that washed over her upon realizing that Kino assumed she jumped in the fight Yoh was having because she didn't want him to get hurt, which meant she didn't know about what really happened.

However, the discussion was far from over and Anna was well aware. She peeked once more around the wall, on the corridor towards the bathroom, yet there was still no sign of her fiancée.

"Which brings us to what I asked before - Anna, you can't get emotionally attached. You will get hurt and with the power that you hold it's too dangerous for you and him as well. It's OK to love him from the distance, admire him from the distance, but don't get close, it's too dangerous. You would put both yourself and Yoh's journey in jeopardy. You should know all of this." Kino lectured.

"Yes, Kino-sensei." Anna replied as emotionless as before, yet she closed her eyes to help her focus better on controlling herself - she couldn't let her emotions slip.

"And aside from all this Anna, you know what I told you." Suddenly, Kino's voice changed, it was still authoritative, but it held a soft note as it added. "Asakura men can't be loved."

"Yes, Kino-sensei."

"No, Anna, I don't want to hear what you think I want to hear. You don't understand. Maybe it's time I tell you more clearly what I mean." The old woman took a deep breath before she continued. "I married in the Asakura family because that's what my family and the Asakuras have agreed on mostly because of the great power that I held at such a young age. I had no saying, yet I was grateful to be marrying into such a powerful family. I was proud and to my surprise Yohmei seemed like a nice young man. I loved him Anna, but it was a mistake." Kino's voice slightly shook towards the end and the old woman coughed a few times till she regained her composure.

Anna expected Kino to lecture her on any possible feelings towards Yoh, but she didn't expect her to open up towards her like that. Whatever she had seen in her vision, must have really shaken her that much to make her tell her this much. Her whole life with her, the woman has always been a mystery. Her sensei barely ever told her much about herself other than how a woman should behave. How an Asakura woman should behave.

"He let me believe he loved me too Anna. And I was young and naive and believed him when he in fact only cared for me to the extent of my power. We never got very close, yet he did like to flirt and tease me." Kino paused, a ghost of a smile passing her lips before her voice became cold. "But that was all and I was hoping for so much more Anna. However, the duty of an Asakura is to bare and it's bond by its responsibility to def…to defend the bloodline and keep it strong." The old woman caught herself before she could mention Hao's name and then continued.

"Yohmei wanted a son for the Shaman competition, but instead I gave him a daughter. That was the closest we ever got, but when we discovered through our predictions that I wasn't bearing the child he wished, he became distant. Almost disappointed. It hurt, Anna, and I have suffered. I didn't want another child after that. I just couldn't let Yohmei close again when he was just using me. In that moment I knew I had to leave as soon as Keiko was big enough to live without me and get away with the false pretence that I'll train away in a remote area like Osorezan where we both knew I could grow my powers. Because that's all the Asakuras are interested in - power and more power."

'Which is quite hypocritical considering they…we are trying to bring down Hao who chased the exact same thing.' Kino thought as she made a pause in her speech before she continued voice devoid of any emotion, despite the hurt undertone that slipped at times.

"We tried training Keiko, we tried to prepare her, but she just wasn't what we expected. Or what Yohmei wanted. She didn't have any great power, so at some point we both just gave up and hoped she will bring someone strong into the family…I never liked motherhood and it showed, but it was also because I was still hurt by Yohmei. And then Keiko was hurt by her initial fiancée because she just wanted to choose him herself! She didn't listen to me or Yohmei, what a foolish daughter! Yohmei of course, blamed that on her character that she took from me. That's because Keiko always seemed to take more after me than him, seemingly inheriting more from my side of the family, but unfortunately she didn't also inherit any great power enough to satisfy her father or help much with our goal to join the Shaman Tournament one day."

Anna listened carefully to each word, more amazed by Kino confiding in her so much, rather than the story itself. Did whatever her sensei see worried her that much about her? Did Kino care about her that much? Kino did raise her and although she hadn't been a maternal figure or warm, she did provide her with a comforting place to live. And there were times she just knew what would help her feel better regarding her powers. In a way, she did watch over her and trained her, despite not being very loving.

Compared to what Yoh told, her, Anna felt her relationship with Kino had been somehow better than her fiancée's with Yohmei. Maybe it was just her guts speaking or Kino's current tale or even her gratefulness for taking her in, raising her and giving her a chance to life, but she felt somehow closer to her sensei than Yoh was with his grandfather. Not close as she was with Yoh or in a mother-daughter relationship, but more in a sisterhood kind of way - both powerful women that were set up on a mission for the 'greater good' of the Asakura family.

After what she heard so far, Anna felt she understood better Kino's coldness and her role in the Asakura family. A role she had been trained to take, yet she was very aware she had drifted away intentionally from certain responsibilities that it implied. And there was no turning back. She didn't want to.

She continued to listen.

"And Keiko didn't learn anything from her mistake because then she married Mikihisa who, as Yohmei, has other duties than offer love to his wife. The duty of an Asakura woman is not to love, but to care from distance, Anna. Don't fall for Yoh. He won't be any different, their bloodline is awful and you will get hurt. Your powers will suffer and I'm sure you don't want your reishi to act again. Do you understand, Anna?"

The girl was rather speechless because she didn't expect to hear so much emotion from her sensei towards the end of the speech - she'd never seen that much in all her years with her. Despite being on a call, the hurt in her voice slipped at times in her cold tone, making Anna flinch. The girl opened her eyes staring blankly at the walls. She just couldn't picture Yoh like that.

"Anna?"

"But Yoh is different." Anna bit her tongue - she didn't mean to say that out loud, yet she didn't know what else to say.

"Different? How come Anna? He can't! He has to be strong and cold in order to become the Shaman King. Any emotional involvement would just make him weak. He has to keep his emotions in check. He doesn't need love and probably doesn't know how because Yohmei made sure the boy can stand up to what will come. And I know you well enough to know you're even stronger than that. You never let your emotions think for you because you are a smart sensible girl." Kino's voice rang loud into her ear.

Anna bit her lip. She had crossed that line the day she and Yoh made the deal. The day they decided to have a real relationship. She had no regrets about crossing that line - she was very happy with her decision and its outcomes, yet she felt bad for lying to Kino and disobeying her. Even more now when she could feel her sensei really seemed to fear her getting hurt, almost as if she really cared for her wellbeing in a genuine way.

"I understand Kino-sensei."

"No, Anna, I don't think you do! Don't get blinded by stupid emotions! Yoh will break you. It's fine to crush on him, but remain cold and detached both for your sake and his. If he comes too close, I am confident you know how to put him back in place." Her voice still held a loud tone.

"Yes, of course Kino-sensei."

"Anna, women are only tools in the Asakura family. A means to reach power and continue the strong bloodline. We don't get to be happy or loved, we get to live well and rule the Asakura men from the shadows. We inspire fear and demand everything from them because we deserve it for what they put us through. We are their power, we make them weak and not the other way around. Because love makes you weak and powerless, Anna. We are strong and don't believe in stupid soapy love stories like in the movies where stupid people fall in love, date, confess their love, hug, hold hands and kiss in the sunset. That's fiction, Anna, and what the media brainwashes you to believe. You are better than it. I raised you better than believing in some stupid love story with my grandson. He's an Asakura man and Asakura men know zero about love or feelings. Asakura women, however, are strong and cold. Keep Yoh in line and yourself away from him. It's for your own good." Kino said with fervour, her voice growing louder and louder and more impatient, as if every word meant the difference between life or death.

Anna heard the speech about the role of the Asakura women and power before more than once throughout her time with Kino. However, she'd never heard Kino say it with so much emotion till now. It almost raised chills down her arms due to the intensity she said it, the conviction she had and the almost barely noticeable desperation in her voice in her attempt to make sure Anna got the message.

It made the girl understand that Kino was still hurting deep down from Yohmei's behaviour towards her. And she couldn't blame her after hearing the whole story. The more Anna heard that day, the more she hated Yohmei, yet she had to control herself. Getting herself all worked up would only end in summoning an oni and she could use a break after the emotional rollercoaster she'd been on lately.

She tried her best not to think of how Kino also spoke of Yoh who was 'collateral damage' - just because his father and grandfather had been bad in their relationships, that didn't mean he would be the same. Anna knew it and felt it - their love story wasn't just 'flue of the age', it was real. Yoh was Yoh and she knew he would grow and change in a way, but she couldn't even imagine his inner self to ever be different. He would always be at heart the kind selfless loving boy she fell in love with that day on mount Osore.

But she couldn't tell that to Kino. Or anyone else because they wouldn't understand. That's why their relationship had to continue being a secret.

She was glad Kino only told her this full story now, when she was so confident about her relationship with Yoh, her sensei' speech didn't make the smallest difference in her feelings. Instead it just riled her up against their vehemency towards them actually having a real relationship and made her love him all the more when it was obvious his family didn't. "He has to be strong and cold in order to become the Shaman King." Kino's words rang in her ears, making her blood boil and she did punch the wall this time, letting a visible mark on it. Her knuckles reddened.

Her heart tore between feeling bad for Kino and relating to her sorrow and eagerness to become powerful enough to build walls to protect her from more pain. And being angry at sensei for teaching her to keep her distance from Yoh who was more than eager to shower her with his affection and show her how much he loved her because he was such a loving boy. And he deserved all her love.

"I will be careful, Kino-sensei." She replied shakily, trying her best to control her anger.

"Go take a cold shower, that should help you. And drink some bitter tea. You don't need love in your life Anna, we're both better off. Ever since that day I decided to leave and move here to Aomouri, I've never regretted it. I never looked back. I met you and I was better off with you." Kino added voice sounding confident, yet Anna detected something in it that she wasn't sure what it was - Hurt? Fear? Uncertainty?

Once again if Kino did feel she was lying, she didn't comment on it. Anna felt somehow relieved and tried to push any doubts regarding that aside. Since she didn't generally speak much, she knew her short replies didn't feel off to Kino.

Kino, however, did detect something strange in Anna's voice throughout the call, but she just assumed it was her shame for disobeying her and trying to get in Yoh's fight. She didn't even assume her star pupil would lie to her and do anything else than obey what she had taught her despite knowing that the girl liked to also do what she wanted. Kino knew the girl highly respected her and had no doubts the girl won't behave accordingly in the future.

Sure, mistakes happen, but Kino was sure Anna knew what she had to do because Anna was a cold strong sensible person like her and didn't need a man in her life. They were powerful enough to live independently and not having to rely on some abstract uncertain concept like love or any other foolish emotions.

Little did she know how far away from the woman Kino had raised her to be Anna was and was growing apart from becoming everyday and with every minute her relationship with Yoh was growing.

"I will, thank you Kino-sense. I have to make sure Yoh starts his morning training." Anna said knowing that the conversation had come to an end and they both had to return to their responsibilities - and as much as part of her felt sorry for Kino, she was tired of listening to nonsense about Yoh.

"Good. Very good Anna. Make sure he cries and respects you."

"You will hear his cries all the way to Amouri."

"Perfect." Kino smiled satisfied with how the discussion ended. "Anna." She added as goodbye.

"Good day Kino-sensei." Anna replied and as soon as she put the phone down, she let out a long sigh.

The discussion had been exhausting and energy draining as she had to constantly keep her emotions in control while also listening so she could reply accordingly. This didn't use to be a challenge for her, to put out walls and keep an emotionless tone, however, her relationship with Yoh was making it harder and harder to keep certain appearances. Kino was right that love does affect you, but Anna had also recently learnt that doesn't mean it makes you necessarily weak.

It just makes you more open and transparent like Yoh was whenever he smiled at everything around. She didn't think she was like him, but she did find herself beaming more, finding reasons to feel joy rather than hatred towards certain things that easily annoyed her and getting lost in thought over silly things her mind made her think about doing in their dates. She was still herself, just happier and it was starting to show in a way she felt she had no control over. However, that didn't change her hatred towards humans and generally the world, but it just 'softened' her pain and constrictions towards herself and the burden on her shoulders from the past just felt a bit lighter.

She would still be able to be her cold self, yet she could feel at times she might let some things slip through her façade. However, she couldn't care less about that because she knew she could immediately make everyone forget with one good slap or punch. Which some might think could reflect her fear of letting others see her differently in fear of being misinterpreted as weakness or vulnerability, things which only Anna trusted Yoh with showing. Because he understood her and would never make her uncomfortable or feel regret towards showing a different yet very important side of her.

With Yoh she could be entirely herself, with others, she had to build walls around certain parts of herself because Kino was right in a way - people do hurt and make you regret showing emotion and being vulnerable in front of them. But not her Yoh. She trusted him wholeheartedly and loved him with all her being, so no matter what Kino said, she would love Yoh with all her heart and she would no longer ever love him from the distance.

Making Yoh happy was more important to her and, in a selfish way, being with him made her happy and she wanted to be happy and feel loved, safe and at peace thanks to him.

So for the first time, Anna just didn't listen to Kino anymore and instead listened to her heart, because as she learnt from Yoh who learned from his dear friend, no other than Matamune, choosing with the heart was always the best choice forward.

Speaking of Yoh, Anna was about to look around the corner for him because he seemed to be stuck in the bathroom for a while now - there was no way he passed without her seeing him, when she felt his hand on her shoulders at the same time her eyes met his. She almost jumped away, but his other hand rested on her hand and his gaze soften, looking at her apologetically, aware he scared her.

Her heart raced, yet she quickly composed herself and looked at him annoyed.

"Were you listening in to my conversation?" She retreated her hand from his, eyes narrowing, all of a sudden more upset at the thought of what he could have heard than on the fact he scared her like that.

"I didn't mean to, but grandma was rather loud and it drew my attention when I got out of the bathroom, so I came closer and overheard…" He tried to look sheepishly about it, but she could see it in his eyes that there was more to it.

"You shouldn't have!" Anna snarled embarrassed and turned around, pushing the hand from her shoulder away.

She didn't want him to hear. It was something between her and Kino and she felt as if she betrayed her sensei although she knew it wasn't her fault he overheard. She just didn't want him to hear those horrible words about himself as much as she didn't want him to think she shared the same ideas with his grandmother. Would he doubt her? Would he think she's been faking everything? Would he…

Her overwhelming painful thoughts stopped abruptly when she felt his hand closing around her trembling fist.

"You know I love you regardless of what grandma said and I will try my best not to fall into my grandfather or father's steps, right?" His voice was small as if he was afraid she won't believe him.

She turned around to face him, still angry, yet she wanted to see him in order to understand what was going through his mind. Her anger almost cracked upon seeing his big brown eyes looking sadly her way as if he was scared she will kick him away because of what his grandmother said. Something inside her snapped though as she saw her own fears reflected in his own and, in a rather impulsive bold move, she just lunged at him wrapping her arms around him.

Upon seeing the shift in her movement, Yoh brought his hands up his face, expecting a hit out of reflex, so he was very taken aback when all he felt was her arms around him. He froze at her reaction, but by the time he tried to respond to her hug, she was already moving away.

"I believe you, not her, Yoh." Anna admitted giving him a light squeeze before she retreated so she could grab his hands from his face.

Hurt crossed her eyes at his reaction, yet she knew it was expected after how she'd been treating him so violently before. And it had been more than a dozen times since she promised she won't hit him and instead she caught herself before doing it. She knew she will have a lot of work to do and a lot of other people to hit instead.

She moved his hands away so she could place hers instead on either side of his face and moved closer, till their noses were barely touching. She tried not to lean on her leg and ignored the pain that was starting to grow and instead stared into his chocolate awed eyes.

"I love you Yoh. I know you are nothing like your father or grandfather and you will never be. Don't worry about that, I trust you. Your grandma told me to be careful around you, but it was my choice to come closer because I trusted you. So, please believe me I'm with you by choice and I'm not faking it or something…" Her voice was confident and Yoh almost melted into her golden orbs that looked pleadingly his way trying to make him believe her, but he would have regardless of what she said.

Yoh had never doubted Anna's fierce love for him ever since that day he fought the oni for her life and she admitted loving him. And that's because he knew Anna didn't toy with emotions because she knew firsthand how dangerous they could be, how harmful, so she would never say something unless she meant it.

He was however stunned by her rather gentle reaction despite the anger he could feel was flooding out of her and he realized it wasn't directed at him, but at his family. Whatever his grandma told her, really riled her up enough to trigger this uncharacteristic reaction from her and make her doubt herself.

And he couldn't blame her since he also felt rather affected by Kino's harsh opinion of his behaviour - he didn't want Anna to believe he would neglect her like his father and grandfather did with their wives. He didn't want to, he loved being in a relationship with her, it made him happy. Like genuinely happy, a feeling he didn't think he could feel this much and to so many levels. It was as if he got a second chance to being loved since his family never gave him enough and he sure was grateful and wanted to make the most of it.