Title: The Adventures of ATM and SUCK IT!

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus, Melina, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, DX, Stephanie McMahon, The Rock and Chris Jericho
Summary: Are these DX antics or demonic destruction? The angelic trio of ATM tries to figure out what's up with Shawn and Hunter.

Author's Note: Not all heroes wear capes or shoot stuff out of their wrists.

One - A Change Is Gonna Come

Melina brushed her hair dreamily in the mirror of her dresser as Johnny searched frantically for his room key. He was supposed to be looking for something else but he was hoping Melina wouldn't notice as she was reliving Monday Night RAW and her betrayal of Mick Foley thinking how cool she thought it was that she had cost a legendary wrestler his job.

"Johnny my white boot, what is it getting here via FedEx?" she yelled at the man who was rummaging around the hotel room with his butt in the air, "For crying out loud if I didn't have to throw it at you for being stupid I would be wearing both of them right now!" Cringing suddenly she paused mid-tantrum and looked at Johnny Nitro who was making so much noise trying to retrieve his room key from under the bed. Johnny looked up at her with puppy-dog eyes as the weight of her glare bore down on him. Melina huffed and slammed her hairbrush down on the dresser. Johnny gulped looking at the door and wondering if he should make a run for it while he still had a chance but by then Melina was on her feet: he was officially out of options. Standing over him with her hands firmly on her curvaceous hips Melina proceeded to tear into Nitro:

"Did it ever occur to you that I might still have my room key?" she snapped.

Nitro shook his head reluctant to get into an altercation tonight especially after Melina's big performance on RAW, "I thought you might need it like if you wanted to come back with someone else tonight,"

"After RAW? Now that would be pretty stupid now wouldn't it?" she asked cutting through him like a knife, "What would the fans think, we're supposed to be boyfriend and girlfriend remember?"

"Melina we are boyfriend and girlfriend," Nitro reminded her.

"I know that what's wrong with you?" she snapped her forehead creasing.

"I-I don't know---" before Nitro could finish stuttering Melina leaned over him and put her long finger under his chin and stared into his eyes.

"You don't know? Well I'm gonna tell you what's wrong with you, you're getting soft Nitro!" she yelled and pushed Nitro's face away from her dismissively and began to walk around the room as if she owned it, "Did you see me out there tonight, I was dominating, I was in control – I owned RAW! And here come you, Mr. I Can't Find My Room Key. Johnny you can't you do anything on your own. Wanna tag with your old buddy again huh? Do you miss your old pal Joey?" Melina teased sarcastically.

"No I do want to be on my own!" Nitro retaliated then covered his mouth when he realized what he had said; he daren't tell Melina how much she was suffocating him. "I mean, alone with you," he recovered quickly with a smile. Melina smiled back.

"Well you better toughen up buddy boy otherwise you will be on your own, without me, on the unemployment line, with your friends Joey and Mick Foley, how's that sound?"

Nitro shook his head in complete disgust but decided once again to keep his mouth shut knowing that he didn't wanna swap places with either Joey or Foley anytime soon. He picked up his room key from under the bed then noticing a fluffy white boot he dragged that towards him as well.

"I found it!" he piqued up and Melina rolled her eyes and picked up a bag of cookies from off the night stand.

"Congratulations, here have a cookie!" she said sarcastically and threw a cookie a Nitro. When it hit him on the face and bounced onto the carpet she snapped her fingers for Nitro to hand her the boot. Nitro swallowed hard holding the boot like it was all he had left of his dignity; he'd never felt so low. He opened his mouth to speak then noticed that Melina took the way he was clenching the boot in his hand as an act of disobedience and Nitro could barely register the change in her demeanor before she started throwing more cookies at him.

"Eat it!" she barked and Nitro quickly picked up the cookie and ate it.

"Eat this one too!" she said flipping another cookie onto the floor and Nitro obeyed, "And this one!" she said and continued to flip the cookies onto the carpet until the bag was done. She laughed as Nitro ate every single one of them and didn't even pause for breath.

"Oh my God you're so funny, enough already we're gonna be late Trish and Lita are expecting us", she snatched the boot from off of the floor as he continued to eat the cookies and laced it up.

"How do I look?" she asked posing for her boyfriend, Nitro gave her a thumbs up with a plastic smile. "Oh Nitro you got crumbs all over your face, come here," as Melina licked her finger and rubbed the remnants of chocolate chip and cookie from Nitro's mouth, Nitro thought that maybe if he held his breath long enough he would pass out and die. Anything was better than a night out with three of the worst women he had ever met in his entire life. Lita was hollow, Trish was a liar and Melina was a man in disguise and he was the battered wife who had just eaten cookies off of the floor. It wasn't a matter of if he wanted to join Joey on the unemployment line it was a matter of when. If he was going to survive this relationship there was going to have to be a change, a huge change. What Johnny didn't know was a huge change was on its way.