Title: The Adventures of ATM and SUCK IT!

Author: Kaykyaka

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: K+

Characters: Lita, Trish Stratus, Melina, Edge, Nitro, Carlito, Shelton Benjamin, Randy Orton, DX, Stephanie McMahon, The Rock and Chris Jericho
Summary: DX antics or demonic destruction? The angelic trio of ATM tries to figure out what's up with Shawn and Hunter.

Author's Note: Not all heroes wear capes or shoot stuff out of their wrists.

Two - What Color Are My Eyes?

Downtown Bridgeport at a club called 'Breathe' there was a bunch of RAW Superstars hanging out trying to recall the last time they had ever had such an exciting show. Much to the dismay of his wife Shawn came to the club too, only because Hunter forced him to saying they did too good a job screwing Vince not to come and get their snaps from the rest of the RAW roster. And snaps they got,

"Good stuff guys!" yelled Shelton from the lounge area.

"Big up DX!" added Carlito on the other side of the sofa.

"Could you take up anymore TV time with your stupid ass antics?"

said Randy Orton snidely sipping his rum and coke as the two strolled into the club. DX smiled, Randy's jealousy lingering in the air around them made the decision to come out and join their fellow athletes totally worth it. Still Shawn would rather be in his room talking to his wife on the phone, however since he had to stay and watch his band of men and women drink and dance the night away he thought he could at least make himself useful and spread some cheer for the soul. It didn't take too long for him to find his first soul in need of counseling as Melina entered the club with the force of a hurricane and Nitro try as he might to look tough looked like he had just about enough of being her whipping boy.

After much deliberation Hunter decided to put Shawn's cranberry juice back and drink the vodka enhanced one himself just in time for Shawn to pick up his glass. Given the focus of his friend's attention right now he didn't think Shawn would even notice.

"See something you like?" Hunter asked downing his drink.

"Not really," Shawn replied his eyes narrowing in anticipation of Trip's follow-up question.

"Why are you staring at Lita then?" he asked his bosom buddy leaning over the side of the bar casually.

"It's not Lita I'm staring at," Shawn replied dismissively.

"It's alright Shawn, her breasts are fantastic," Hunter continued.

"Just quit it, you're the one with your jaw hitting the floor," Shawn replied annoyed.

"Come on Shawn don't tell me you've never snuck a peek when she tying her shoelaces?" Hunter persisted.

Shawn threw his hands up and walked off dragging Hunter with him cranberry juice in hand.

"Is it just me or are we heading over there to those luscious pair of boobs?" Hunter said not trying to resist Shawn's aggression at all.

"It's not you we're going over there," Shawn answered.

"Uh-huh," Triple H said straightening himself out when they finally arrived in front of Trish, Melina and Lita and a pretending-not-to-be-dying-on-the-inside Nitro.

"What are you guys doing here?" Lita asked abrasively.

"Lita this doesn't concern you or your two friends," Shawn replied simply, he rolled his eyes as everyone began to chuckle, "What? I was talking about Trish and Melina!"

Lita looked Shawn up and down and walked towards him, "Shawn?"

Shawn found himself gulping, he knew what was coming, and the whole locker room knew what was coming hence all the eyes on him at this particular moment; Look Lita up and down one time at the shooting of the promo for SummerSlam and you're the center of gossip for weeks, especially if you're HBK. But this wasn't about Lita so Shawn decided the best thing to do would be to pretend the whole thing never happened, unfortunately, one look at Nitro's face glowing on account of the laugh he was trying to hold back and he knew he was trapped with nowhere to go but down, "Yes Lita?" he answered finally.

"What color are my eyes?" she asked humorously, the sound of Hunter chuckling tickled HBK's ear as he made a concerted effort not to look at Lita's plunging neckline and he wished he could talk to Nitro by himself but he didn't want it to seem like he was parenting the guy and Triple H would make it seem more like a friendly discussion about what to do about Melina. That whole concept was about to undergo a dramatic redress if Shawn didn't handle Lita properly and without getting himself baited by her hook, "They're hazel," he replied coolly, "Nitro I wanna talk to you about something, well, we both do and I think it would be breast - I mean best, oh man!" Shawn slammed his hand against his thigh furious that he'd been caught out by Lita who along with The Game, Trish, Melina and Nitro were laughing at him. As usual Shawn took the high road.

"You know what Trips you're right, I'm getting all bent out of shape over nothing. Lita I'm sorry I stared at you, you're a great athlete and I'm glad you're still getting pushed in the Women's division, but right now I wanna talk about another wrestler who's getting pushed – around that is. Nitro, let's bounce. Ladies," Shawn said motioning to Nitro. Seconds later Nitro still hadn't moved and Shawn looked back at him noticing how real his fear of Melina was for the first time. He looked over to Trips who nodded his head in agreement that this was a bad situation for the young man.

"Look when two of the most successful guys in the history of the WWE ask you to go, you go, now go!" Melina said suddenly and Shawn and Hunter couldn't believe when Nitro actually began to move on her command.

"Stop!" they both said holding out their hands, "Are you kidding me?" Shawn said, "Nitro why are you afraid of this woman, what do you think she's gonna do to you?"

"The same thing you think my breasts are gonna do to you Michaels," Lita interjected. Shawn looked down at his shoes and Trips decided to take the initiative and escort Lita to the bar while Shawn had a talk with Nitro.

"Trish could you and Melina give us a little space?" Shawn asked politely.

"Okay, Candice is over there with Shelton and Carlito," said Trish taking Melina by the arm.

"And Randy!" Melina added suggestively and Trish started fidgeting with her hair nervously.

"So, who cares about Randy?" Trish asked defensively and Melina cocked her eyebrow suspiciously.

"You do, you said he was hot," she said.

"When?" Trish exclaimed her voice going up a notch.

"I don't know about ten minutes ago?" Melina said factually.

"I did not!" Trish replied outraged still playing with her hair.

"You didn't?" Melina asked doubtfully.

"No I didn't," Trish said.

"You sure about that?" Melina asked still doubting Trish.

"Very sure," Trish answered with a plastic smile and Melina shook her head.

"You're such a liar Trish," she said and as Melina left without incident Nitro felt like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders and he could actually breathe at Breathe.

Meanwhile over at the bar:

Lita and Hunter were downing cranberry shots and laughing over Shawn's way of carrying himself.

"Could you imagine Shawn as a different person? He's so righteous all the time, how do you deal with it being in DX an' all?" Lita asked Hunter watching Shawn talk with Nitro who seemed relieved that Melina was no longer around.

"Shawn's good people don't hate on him Lita, I think it's pretty obvious that he doesn't hate on you," Hunter replied downing another shot. Lita nodded reflecting over her relationship with the Heartbreak Kid, the fact was she didn't know him at all and for the first time she found herself wondering what it would be like to get to know someone like him.

"I don't hate him Hunter, you know what's weird? Nah, forget it I can't tell you," she said downing another shot and slamming the glass down on the bar top. Hunter was intrigued by her omission and paused from taking another shot.

"What?" he asked looking at the voluptuous red-head.

Lita sighed suddenly feeling real sober all of a sudden exploring the rim of her shot glass as if she couldn't understand how the glass got into her hand.

"I don't know but having him check me out at the promo shooting for SummerSlam, well, it made me feel, kind of - special," The silence from Hunter confirmed what Lita dreaded most, that Hunter would see her soft-side and she whizzed around putting her back between them and downed her shot hard like she was trying to hide something from him. Hunter tapped her on the shoulder, seeing that she wasn't turning anytime soon he walked around to face her head on.

"You admire him don't you?" Hunter asked sure that he was right.

"No!" Lita spat in disgust and turned her back to Hunter again and he went back around to his spot to face her.

"Yes you do, I mean you always have, to you, he's still that nice guy who kissed your hand after that match with Kane at Unforgiven two years ago," Hunter stepped closer as Lita hadn't said anything to deny his admission so he went further, "So much has changed in two years but Shawn hasn't and you admire that, you admire his integrity am I right Lita or what, say something already, it's like I'm talking to myself here,"

"Blow it out your ass Hunter," Lita said banging her glass down on the table and leaving Hunter with something to tell Shawn when they got back to the hotel, "He sees the integrity in you too girlie," Hunter said aloud, "Who am I talking to?" he admonished himself and decided to join Shawn and Nitro.

"Thank you Shawn, I'm gonna talk to her as soon as we get back to the hotel," Nitro said smiling like a Cheshire cat.

"Whoa what do we have here, did I miss the breakthrough?" Hunter said anxiously getting in between Shawn and Nitro.

Shawn smiled at his dear best friend, "I'm only scratching the surface but we got somewhere didn't we Nitro?" Shawn said suddenly at the mercy of a hug from the young addition to the RAW roster.

"Whoa what kind of breakthrough did I miss exactly?" Hunter asked raising his eyebrow suggestively.

"You're gonna be alright kid," Shawn said as Nitro pulled away from him, "just remember to handle your business okay?" he said sincerely. Nitro smiled moved by a very important conversation with the Heartbreak Kid.

"Thanks guys," he said and turned to leave, then he came back and stepped close to Shawn, "don't ever change Shawn," he said and left to join Melina, Trish and Lita. Hunter nodded his head impressed and wrapped his arm around his best buddy's shoulder.

"Don't worry Johnny, he never will," he said and Shawn looked at him puzzled.

"Is there something you wanna tell me Hunter?" he asked referring to Hunter's little rendezvous with Lita at the bar.

"Oh God yes," Hunter replied almost salivating over his conversation with Lita.

"Try to control yourself man, whatever you do don't have another one of your dreams about us getting together," Shawn said as they waved goodbye to Shelton, Carlito and Randy, the latter of whom gave them the finger on their way out of the club.

"I'm sorry Shawn I can't help it, it would be so hot! You and Lita – it would be the storyline of the Century!" Hunter said envisioning the headlines in the Wrestling Observer newsletter.

"Hunter, stop," Shawn said weary of his buddy's racy imagination envisioning the headlines on the Christian Broadcast Network, "That imagination of yours is so filthy I swear you'd be better suited as a porn director than one of the greatest wrestlers of all time,"

"Well at least I admit that Lita's hot," Trips replied smugly.

"Hey I know she's hot, I just don't wanna do a storyline based on that okay?" Shawn countered and Hunter shook his head wishing that for one minute Shawn could see things his way.