Chapter 4

Sully stood at the edge of Colorado Spring debating what his next action would be. It had been two months since he stood at the river's edge and taken his reflection and the current state of affairs between he and Michaela. He shuddered as he realized that he no longer thought of her as his wife. This was not because he desired to dissolve the marriage but because he feared that he would have no choice in the matter. By now, he thought that Michaela would have had Matthew draw up the papers, and that any arrival or any visit he would choose to make to the homestead would be greeted with warm hugs form the children and the end of his marriage. He supposed that he was putting off the trip out to his home because of some deep denial, denial which still allowed him to believe that as long as he stayed away from Michaela they would be married, and he wouldn't have to face the pain of losing her.

He knew in his heart of hearts that he needed to see his children, regardless of what an attempt to see them would mean for his marriage. He had missed out on six months of their lives; six months he couldn't get back. He knew that from experience when he was in hiding from the army he missed out on six months of time with his family; six months of watching Katie change from a baby to a toddler, and six months of watching his other children grow into adults. That time he had had no choice in the matter, but this time he had made the choice to leave his family, and he knew that no matter what forgiveness he was granted, his children would remember that they had been abandoned. He had sent them telegrams each month asking how they were and telling them that he loved and missed them. They sent a few back; one was Matthew saying that he had set up his law office in town, and had already garnered a few clients. Colleen had written that she and Andrew were well, that she missed him, Sully—her Pa—and that she wished he would come home to her, to Brian, to Katie, and even to Matthew, but especially to her Ma. Sully had cried reading that telegram. He had known that Colleen was telling the truth when she had said that all of them needed him; all of them had always needed him, especially Michaela.

He had received a little more than a few sentences from Brian and Katie. Brian had detailed his decision to move back to Colorado Springs from Boston, and to continue his studies in journalism in the back of the school house, as he'd been doing over the summer when Sully left. He said that he was angry at Sully for leaving; said he didn't know how a man he had looked up to for so long could abandoned his family, but that the boy guessed it was easy, since he'd done it before. Brian's words had wounded him deeply, but what had brought him back to Colorado Springs was Katie's one line telegram that he was sure she had insisted upon writing out for Horace herself.

It read,

I hate Mama. Please come home. I love you.

Upon receiving the letter he had known without a shadow of a doubt that he had to return to Colorado Springs. Michaela did not deserve the hatred of the little girl who had been created through her parents' profound love. Michaela loved their daughter with all that she possessed. She loved all their children that way…she loved him that way. This realization had spurred Sully to action. He had rode all week from the town he had settled in after he had decided to leave the woods about a week after his experience at the stream. Now he was home again.

He just had to find out if his home would want him to be there.


Michaela stood in the clinic and glanced around at the familiar scenery, as if trying to memorize it. This was her last day of work before the baby would be born, and she dreaded leaving the building and the sense of escape that going to work every day had brought her since her husband's departure. Without this distraction she would be free to be alone and be lonely, although she realized with a sigh, she was always lonely these days.

The children had tried to comfort her and spend as much time with her as they could, even Colleen, who was married now, spent time with her mother every day; and Matthew would check in at least once a week, asking if she needed anything, or if she wanted to talk. Most of the time she said no, although there were a few occasions when her grief had overwhelmed her, and she had sobbed her pain onto her oldest son's shoulder while Matthew held his mother, praying that Sully would return and that the stress of his absence would not affect his unborn sibling.

Now as Michaela moved to close the clinic door for what would be the last time for three months (Andrew would care for her patients), she felt an emptiness in her heart that she feared would draw her in, and swallow her whole.

The clinic door closed behind her, and Michaela stepped out into the street. She would have to pick up Katie from Dorothy, and check and see whether Brian wanted a ride out to the homestead before driving home herself. She would then feed Katie before heading to bed. Though it was only early afternoon, she knew that these tasks would take more energy and time now that she was in the last stages of pregnancy. Without Sully's help and support the tasks seemed to drag on forever.

Michaela turned and prepared to walk down the way to Katie and Dorothy at The Gazette, but as she turned someone grabbed her shoulder gently and stopped her movement. For a moment, she believed wholeheartedly that it was Sully, and though he'd been gone for almost eight months, she would have melted in his arms in an instant if he had let her. She was startled out of her longings by a familiar and wholly unwanted voice.

"Michaela, how nice to see you again. How are you feeling? Is there anything I can get you?", Charles Gregory queried, leaving his hand on the doctor's shoulder for much longer than she would have ever cared him to, that is, if she had wanted him to touch her at all.

"Mr. Gregory, I thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. I also seem to remember that I have asked you not to inquire after me on several occasions and I would prefer if you refrain from touching me as well. I'm a married woman with a child on the way, and I love my husband very much, whether he is here or not. I carry his child—what more proof do you need that I am not interested in your advances?" Michaela's eyes were cold, but inside she quaked with fear. Mr. Gregory had been seeking her out and being overly affectionate for months now and she wondered whether he would ever accept that 'no' meant 'no.'

All the townspeople had encouraged Mr. Gregory, to some extent even Dorothy. Everyone thought Sully was gone for good and they kept telling Michaela that no matter how much it pained her, she would have to find a father along with a defensible wedding band before her child was born. Michaela's Boston upbringing also suggested such things to her. After all, she could not rightly claim that she was a widow, although she might be for all she knew, and with the town growing as fast as it was, she didn't want to ruin her status as a reputable physician because of her present situation, yet she could not fathom being married to or loving anyone as much as Sully, even after all this time, especially not Mr. Gregory.

"I was only trying to provide you with an opportunity to be seen about town with a respectable man, Dr. Quinn, but since you seem to share your husband's taste for impropriety, I shall no longer try and make you appear to be anything better than what you are, a husbandless whore." With that Mr. Gregory removed his hand from Michaela's shoulder, replaced a hat that had fallen off of his head during the exchange, and walked off the clinic porch. His slim and slimy looking frame slithered down the street, his hat once again blowing off and exposing black hair that even in her shock over his epithet, made Michaela laugh. It looked greasy and was clearly dyed, however he had missed one streak of grey hair. The resulting hair colors made him look like a cross between a snake and a skunk. Michaela's sense of humor was soon tempered by the knowledge that Mr. Gregory had called her a 'whore' loud enough for the entire town to hear. How she wished Sully were here! With that thought in mind, she sank her heavy frame down onto the clinic bench and wept.


Please review and let me know if the storyline and characters are behaving in interesting and yet valid ways consistant with the character and development of the story and show.

Thanks, Corinna