NOTICE OF MEDICAL ABSENCE
Student: Ferdinand von Aegir
Excuse from the following activities: Any/All
Duration: 5.16 - 5.23
Reason: Mild Concussion
Physician's Signature: Manuela Casagranda, D.O., OB/GYN
Post Copy to: Prof. Byleth Eisner, Black Eagle House
Kid,
Sorry about your ginger brat, but you're gonna have to tell him that closing his eyes while shouting his overly long name and title on a battlefield is gonna be a very quick way to get clipped in the head again.
If you think you know who clipped him, tell me on Sunday.
I'll pay for your drinks if you're right.
Professor Eisner,
Our archery instructor, Shamir Nevrand, has had her return to the monastery delayed by a necessary scouting mission. In her stead, your father volunteered you – mentioning that your first experience in unit command was with an archery platoon. That will have to suffice.
The attendance list is as follows, in order of first registration. I will not comment on the infantile behavior of the Golden Deer. Trust that Professor Manuela has been informed.
Observers:
Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Blue Lions
Edelgard von Hresvelg, Black Eagles
Hilda Princess, Edelgard Is
Participants
Claude Obsessed, With You
Ashe Ubert-Lonato, Blue Lions
Bernadetta von Varley, Black Eagles
As your direct superior, I trust that I need not remind you of our commitment to professionalism here at the Academy.
Dutifully,
Seteth
What a mess.
I should visit the infirmary – the one on campus, that is – and check on Ferdinand this afternoon. He seems to have a nasty habit of getting in over his head. Or, rather – taking head injuries in general. Unfortunately, both run a high risk of ending fatally on the battlefield.
As I walk to the training grounds, I do my level best to figure out what the blazes I'm supposed to teach these students today. Just sticking them in front of a few target dummies with bullseyes seems like something of a disservice. Especially to Bernadetta – if she actually gets out of her room for this, I'll be extremely impressed.
Sadly, my first command experience was quite brief – as all of the soldiers in the archery platoon that I commanded died under my own watch. I was pretty nonchalant about it then, as they were just people in my father's company. Mercenaries sign up to fight – and in fights, sometimes you win – and sometimes you die. That was my prevailing opinion at the time, particularly in relation to the no-quarter approach of the Almyrans.
Everyone on the throat knew the score when fighting Almyra. You were only taken prisoner under two conditions, both of which needed to be fulfilled at the same time:
The first was that you were the last man standing in whatever engagement you were fighting in – whether that be a skirmish, siege, or grand battle. The second was that you had better be carrying a combat wound of some sort – a sign that you were willing to take as well give. From there, these warriors were captured in nets and turned into slaves. Months, even years would be spent breaking them until those men and women became what were called "attendants" on the battlefield – in real terms, they were janitors and scavengers who picked over the dead bodies of fallen allies for identification.
When we saw those poor souls emerge from their tents and walk into no man's land, they looked as if they were animated skeletons – bony and moving disjointedly from one corpse to the next.
In my estimation, you'd be better off running a sword through your own gut than accept such a fate as that. And oftentimes, I witnessed other warriors do the same, believing that a battle had become irrevocably lost. It was quite the scare tactic, one that I'm sure the people on the other side of that mountain range took a great deal of pride in.
Was that Almyran Myrmidon picked over as well, I wonder? The one I fought while that girl from Dagda died? I had no idea, of course, if enemy combatants were picked over as well. There was no way to know because of the way Holst campaigned. We thrusted forward until we could thrust no longer, and after that – we ran back to the Locket as fast as our legs could carry us. By the time we ran past our fallen comrades, the vultures, demonic beasts, and wild dogs of the desert had devoured them to the bone.
Unfortunately, I arrive at the training grounds with an empty lesson plan – realizing that I had lost myself in those monotonous memories of the past.
Awaiting me there are two surprises: His Deceitfulness and Hilda. I hadn't expected them to arrive so early. Particularly Hilda, as an observer.
"Yo– Teach!"
Those emerald eyes of Claude's look as if they're plotting something. But, of course – they always do, don't they?
"Hey, Professor – what a surprise to see you here!" clearly it wasn't a surprise given the attendance sheet, but whatever.
Hilda's face, barely suppressing a smirk, lets me know that she's probably in on whatever joke is coming along the pike.
"You look kind of groggy, Teach – not a morning person, I take it?" Claude inquires.
Correction: I've only overslept one day this year. It just happened to be for a very important meeting with the Archbishop and Cardinal Seteth. Unfortunately, that appears to be my reputation now thanks to the gossip mill here at the monastery.
"It just takes me a little while to get going."
"I get it! Whenever I wake up, I just want to stay in bed for a little while longer and cuddle my pillow." Hilda says sympathetically.
That would explain her behavior in the tent that time. Which is good, I guess. Still, it wouldn't hurt to be more particular with who you decide to make into your pillow, Hilda. I'm about to say this before Claude suddenly pulls out a vial from his pocket.
"I've got just the thing for that, you know!"
I squint. The Derdriu Deer grins.
"...It's concentrated caffeine, of course! It'll give you wings – supposedly... In high enough doses."
What Claude is holding up in front of me is not concentrated caffeine – that energy-inducing extract from the coffee bean.
"That's a poison based on valerian tincture." I reply.
It's clearly a low-grade concoction that in the dose he's holding up – my fuzzy math based on volume leads me to believe that it would induce sleep for around twenty-four hours for anyone drinking that amount.
"Wow – he caught you again, Claude!" Hilda exclaims.
Holst's sister turns to me with a devilish smirk.
"...He thinks he's way smarter than he actually is, Professor!"
We're of like mind, her and I. Still, it can't hurt to check-in on her well-being given who she's deciding to have fun with.
"He hasn't used that on you lately, has he?"
Hilda brings a hand to her mouth to try and suppress her own cackling. His Deceitfulness seems genuinely hurt, but I have no idea why he would be given that we're only two weeks removed from his last escapade to that effect.
"You wound me, Teach."
You tried to poison me, Claude. Before I can say those exact words, Hilda jumps in:
"No way, Professor – he's been on his, like, best behavior! He's not getting any quality time otherwise!"
I wonder what quality time is? Maybe it's something wholesome, and I'm going to assume it is because Hilda seems like a nice person.
"Good."
Hilda's snicker tells me that it was almost certainly not something wholesome. Claude shakes his head wistfully and says:
"Still… seems as if you know this stuff pretty well, don't you?"
"Quality Time?"
"Nah, Teach – you clearly don't fuck at all. I'm talking about tincture poisons!"
So quality time was definitely not wholesome, then. Nodding in regard to his point about tinctures, I reply:
"I saw some of that in Almyra. Good way to take a citadel."
The Alpha Buck shakes his head.
"I see! Shame on me for trying to sneak this past you, then."
That said, that vial gives me an idea.
"Since you brought it, let's use it today."
Hilda looks at me as if I've gone mad, but Claude gets my meaning almost immediately.
"Oh, yeah? Now I'm liking where this is going!"
Before I can reply in more detail, however, I hear the familiar whimper of a shut-in-in-distress. Turning, I notice that it's Bernadetta – who is being pushed by Edelgard into the arena rather violently. The Heir to House Varley yips in surprise when she sees me.
"H-Huh…?! Oh, wait – you're teaching this class, Professor?"
"I'm covering." I clarify with a nod.
"O-Oh, thank goodness! Princess Edelgard never mentioned that…!"
My eyes drift over to my student. Her lavender irises jump a bit when they meet mine.
"...I attempted to explain it to her, my teacher, truly – but as soon as I informed her about the seminar, she began to bawl quite loudly…!"
Claude tsk tsks at me.
"Seems like you've got your hands full with the Eagles, Teach. Could've taught us Deer and had more time to party."
Suddenly, Edelgard appears at my side, as if warped.
"Hmph…! I should have you know that the Black Eagles hold the finest parties at this academy!"
Claude shakes his head.
"That so, Edel? When's the last time you got wasted? …Going on a month ago, right?"
I recall someone else getting wasted there too, but interesting how he doesn't self-identify there. Before I can supply a pithy remark – my student takes up her rhetorical axe:
"Well...One must win to celebrate, and as it stands – the Eagles are the only victors at the Academy thus far. We celebrated our triumph at Celica's the night of the mock battle!"
Those purple orbs of hers drive hard into Claude's emerald eyes. I suspect he lacks a good response at the moment, so he tries to gaslight me instead:
"Wow… and you didn't invite me at all, Teach?"
Edelgard sees her advantage, however – and continues to press with initiative.
"Hardly…! Why must we invite a loser like yourself to drown his sorrows among us?"
I actually think that's a really good riposte on her part, if a bit too verbose. That said, I'm a notoriously poor judge of such things. Still – it's a huge step from how riled up she got at the campgrounds, or how poorly she managed on the twenty-third.
Claude seems to agree – breaking his gazing match with her. Looking at me again, he says:
"She's trying real hard, Teach. Give her an A for effort on that one, alright?"
Edelgard takes a step towards me and says, those lavender irises blazing.
"And make sure to give him an F for failure – we defeated the Deer without a single member eliminated on our side!"
I'm still not clear on whether Ferdinand was tagged out or not by virtue of the net trap, but neither of the Deer protest. That's confirmation enough, right?
Today, Edelgard discovered her budding talent in banter. Like all buds, however, they take some time to fully bloom. And she's clearly not ready for Hilda to jump in and try to prune her.
"...No thanks to you, Princess!" The pink-haired provocateur says while flicking her forehead bangs.
"...Whatever are you implying, Ms. Goneril…?!" Edelgard replies while reflexively doing the same, but having no forehead bangs to flick.
I quite like her forehead like that, though. It centers my vision on her eyes all the time. Or does my gaze just drift there naturally?
Hilda then holds an outstretched palm to me. Am I supposed to take her hand, or something? As I wait for direction, she says:
"I mean, you really didn't do anything! That was the Professor's victory – he dodged my axe and then his master plan had Petra tag me out! What did you even do, exactly?"
How did Hilda know my master plan…? Perhaps I do not give her intellect enough credit.
Shaking my head, I then realize she's probably trying to troll me as much as she is Edelgard. I turn to my student, who looks like she's about to fly off the handle in pure rage.
I beat her to the punch by clearing my throat.
"...There would have been no victory without Edelgard at my side." I state firmly.
"M-my teacher…"
I turn to her and realize she's blushing quite intensely while still trying to maintain her stare down match with Ms. Goneril. Unfortunately for her, Hilda just has a shit-eating grin on her face – perhaps realizing that my own compliment managed to unintentionally disarm her opponent.
A familiar tap on my shoulder brings my attention back to Claude.
"You know, Teach – I told Dimitri that Edel had you on the leash, but now I'm starting to think that it's the other way around!"
Shrugging, I say:
"She's my House Leader, I defer to her."
To the Adrestian's credit, she's able to power through this, although not without her chin falling down and her white glove clenching in a fist behind her thin, celestial nose… a part of her that I'm starting to think I might be finding rather cute as well.
"A-Absolutely – you are so clearly and pathetically envious of our perfect… working relationship!"
…Are they?
Hilda seems less envious and more excited.
"Woah, Princess–! You're already exclusive with the Pro–"
Before Hilda can finish that title, we all hear the oncoming thunderstorm of Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd shuffling into the arena. Joining him is the chipper Ashe, one of the masterminds behind the dessert spread on the night of the twenty-third of Great Tree Moon – and, as I recall at this moment, an archer himself.
"Yo, Prince-Party-Pooper!" Claude shouts, beckoning him.
He does not acknowledge this, and merely starts to glare in the general direction of Edelgard. Turning back to the Deer's Alpha Doe, I ask:
"Hilda, can I ask a favor?"
Shooting past a still-flustered Edelgard, she gets very close to me.
"...Okay, Professor – I'm all yours."
My student turns around demonstrably and catches my eye in the process.
"She is not...!" I'm reminded.
With a clear of my throat, I inquire:
"Can you get a vascular anatomy textbook from Manuela's office? I believe she's there now."
Hilda raises an eyebrow at this, and then nods enthusiastically.
"Anything for you, Professor!" she says.
As those words leave her lips, a pair of buxom breasts brush up against my chest, and pair of envious eyes claw at my very being.
Bernadetta has just finished painting a series of blue lines on a target dummy, roughly following the lines of major veins present in a human's arms, torso, and legs. Identifying the locations of these will be instrumental for today's lesson.
"Thanks, Bernie."
"N-no problem, Professor…!"
As it stands, I decided to utilize Claude's poison as a way to teach the assembled archers a way to non-lethally subdue enemies at range. Putting a thin arrowhead along a major blood-route is usually the most efficient way to do this with the necessary speed and silence required. Typically, it's a very useful tactic if you want to tranquilize nightwatch troops, as you can drag off the bodies and interrogate them. Useful information can sometimes be gleaned from such captures – such as enemy patrols, guard changes, supply lines, and other such useful nuggets.
Naturally, you have to know the principles of prisoner interrogation too, but that seminar's best saved for a mage or someone with a reasonable talent in reason magic. My logical skills aren't particularly strong, plus I'm probably the most illiterate academic here. They'll have to get that lesson from someone else at a later date.
Looking out towards the observers, I see my student is seething in the shade while reading her book. It occurs to me that I never did get the title of it the other day, but it'd do me no good to ask her now. I think the reason why he's angry currently is Hilda made some sideways remark about Edelgard chest after pointing to the anatomy textbook. My student then crossed her arms and flushed red when she noticed me looking at her.
We've been arguing about nothing –silently– since.
Claude walks over to the targets and scrutinizes them after finishing what must have been a fifteen-minute public display of affection with Hilda, even going so far as to shove her up against one the arena walls at one point. Needless to say, he's looking quite energized now. Frankly I'd be expecting that from Sylvain or a go-getter like Caspar, not from somebody who supposedly peddles in deceit.
"Nifty lesson in non-lethality, Teach!"
He says after giving it a long once-over.
"So I've got your approval?" I ask.
A smirk prefaces his reply:
"For now, sure!"
Glancing at Hilda, who is strolling back to the shade – presumably to troll my student, I turn back to her classmate.
"I'll have to keep you entertained, then."
Craning his neck to join the objects of my gaze, he notes:
"That's probably gonna be your future if you end up with Edel in Adrestia, you know."
The reply from the Adrestian comes as if by clockwork:
"...I can hear that fool blathering!"
"Try completing the task before you get her riled up again."
"I'll make it quick, Teach – People are waiting on me!" He says, saluting.
Walking over to Ashe, who has been chatting up Bernadetta – I take note that they're deeply engrossed in conversation regarding the hooded sweatshirts the academy offers as an undergarment. Apparently, they're woolen, and thus will be unfit for the summer weather.
"Are they comfortable?" I inquire. It's a legitimate question of mine, given how my dresser does have a few of them in the bottom drawer. I've never bothered wearing them, though.
"I think so, Professor – sometimes it gets breezy, still." Ashe says thoughtfully.
"I-I wear mine all the time! Even when I sleep!" Bernadetta informs me.
Is she attempting to tell me that she doesn't ever change her clothes? Strange, as she smells quite nice. If I could identify her aroma, the Heir to House Varley often smells rather like Heather Honey. Perhaps her perfume masks her poor hygiene?
"The same one?" I ask.
"A-Ah – N-No, Professor – I'm really clean! T-they're always laundered... I shower twice a day, too!"
I nod, but she doesn't interpret it as genuine.
"D-Did Princess Edelgard comment about my dorm room…?" She whispers.
That's sort of an interesting question. Whenever my student comments, the words she uses to comment are often quite negative in outlook. And while she didn't explicitly comment negatively about Bernadetta's room – she also declined to comment entirely when she dragged her to the arena and presented her to me.
So that must mean Edelgard approves of her living situation, right?
I could ask my student, but Hilda seems to be gassing her up at the moment. I doubt the reply would be altogether kind to my Eagle with nest-leaving issues.
"She was complimentary." I say at last.
Bernadetta exhales sharply in relief.
Sometimes the most complimentary comment is none at all. My father said that once, I think.
"All set, Ashe?"
The Lion flexes.
"Duedue has been helping me build muscles, Professor. Just watch!"
I'm watching, but I don't see a whole lot happening. As it stands, he's skin and bones. I wonder if he eats as much as he cooks?
I give him a thumbs up and turn back to my Eaglette.
"You ready to go, Bernadetta?"
"A-as I'll ever be…" she manages.
"Ladies first." I reply.
Claude whistles.
"Bernie looks like a girl who likes it rough, Teach."
"D-Does that mean you're going to tie me to a chair?!" Bernie yips.
Frankly, I have no idea what it means – but I shake my head now because I imagine my confirmation of this fact would send my Eagle straight back to her dorm in sheer terror.
As the archers took to their very specific target practice – dipping their tips into a diluted version of Claude's knockout concoction – I took a seat over with Dimtiri, who was watching his colleague intently while stewing in the mid-morning sun. It's a pleasant change from shooting death glares at Edelgard, so I figure his mood might have improved in the interim.
As take up position in my stool, he initiates:
"Thank you for joining me, Professor."
"I was just about to ask if it's alright." I reply.
"You need not ask such a question. I actually wanted to seek your opinion on a matter."
The Prince says this while shaking his head bitterly, so I imagine he must have something else weighing on him. I nod and give him the go-ahead.
"It seems like the Knights are beginning to deploy battalions North, Professor – toward Kingdom territory. This… seems strange given the fact that we are besieging the Red Canyon as well."
I'm inclined to agree, but it's awfully easy to play grand strategist from an armchair. Or in our case– a stool.
"You think we're overextended?"
He parts his lips as if he had a canned reply ready but takes pause suddenly and seems to contemplate my question further.
"Knowing as little as I do about the Monastery, I cannot say. But… I cannot help but wonder if Lady Shamir, who was supposed to teach the archery lesson today, is leading one of those units."
Taking note of the letter that was dropped in my doorway today, I fire off without a beat:
"Seteth mentioned that today. Some kind of scouting mission."
Looking at me in a rather surprised fashion, he seems to be intimating that I'm entrusting him with information that I shouldn't be. Still, in spite of all the angst, I do not feel as if Dimitri would betray anyone. He's just not the type - which is more than I can say for the other two House Leaders.
"...My apologies, Professor – to get confirmation about that so suddenly, is surprising. Professor Hanneman has brushed off my concerns in the matter and has told me to focus on Remire. I should mention that I was only speculating on Shamir's whereabouts on my own time."
This earns a shrug from me.
"You've got a good sense for things, Dimitri." I offer after a few moments.
In reply to this complement, he shakes his head, sending his messy bangs everywhere. Apparently, he left without applying Mercedes's recommended hair product this morning.
"Hearing that from you, Professor – I will take it as a compliment… but I must say it's a skill I've paid too high a price for…"
As he says this, my eyes fall upon Bernadetta first, and then drift to Edelgard, where they remain for much longer. After partaking in a pregnant pause, I reply:
"Even so, you can use that to protect others."
Did I want to protect my Eagles because I failed to protect that Dagdan girl who I can scarcely remember? I first consider this as the reason, but something stirs deep inside my mind, telling me that's not the case.
I then notice Dimitri staring at the person who I'm also staring at.
"That sentiment will not avenge others who have died, Professor."
Nearly one month ago, just before meeting Dimitri, Claude, and Edelgard… my father said something to me –
"You might change your mind if you find something worth protecting."
So I paraphrase those words to Dimitri, thinking that they're quite sage now, even though I didn't understand their reasoning or purpose then.
"Professor… At our first meeting, I had taken you to be a bit of a cold-blooded individual. Against my better judgment I had hoped to learn from you how to take a life without guilt again…"
I look into his blue eyes at this moment and see the storm inside.
"But you seem intent on breaking that impression of mine." he says at last.
"I regret giving you that impression" I say. I really do, because that's not the type of impact I want to leave on them as their Professor. Knowing how to kill is one thing – that's a useful skill that you can use to protect others.
But that image of my Eagles murdering each other seeps into my mind again, and I feel quite nauseous at the thought.
At this, a bitter smile creeps onto his face, as if I was rubbing his face in some ancient humiliation that only he could speak of.
"I too regret that you could not teach the Lions, and that fate paired yourself with that blood-soaked monster… the one you call your student."
A part of me wishes he wouldn't speak of her like that. Because when he does, I can see him so clearly working up the resolve to try killing her once again. And in fairness, I cannot criticize him – because she initiated this cycle of violence on the twenty-eighth and would not hesitate to rekindle that malevolent spirit again, sadly.
But still… if I had to choose between Edelgard and Dimitri…
It wouldn't even be a choice, would it?
"She's not so bad." I say, my chest aching.
"Professor, be careful. When you march off to the Red Canyon, the Lions will be deployed at Remire. I cannot intervene if she tries to bring you to harm… and I cannot endeavor to repay the favor which you granted me in saving mine from that monster who I had thought to trust myself in the presence of…"
Looking back towards the target practice dummies to ease the pain, I see that His Deceitfulness has hit more than few bullseyes along the femoral veins and… one right below the iliac – the vein that carries blood from out of the penis.
Did Bernadetta realize what she was drawing there?
Claude did, at least.
"Well, I'll have to rely on Claude, then." I say with a shrug.
Dimitri looks back at me almost pleadingly.
"This is no time for joking! Please, make due preparations for any eventuality with her."
Eventuality with Edelgard has a certain ring to it. Dimitri in general is very good with big "E" sounding words. Last week, I was "Exsanguinating with Edelgard". Thinking back to Remire, I think he accused me of being "Entranced by Edelgard" or some other five-G word like that.
Looking back to the Lion, I try to assuage his tempestous feelings.
"Understood, Dimitri."
But I'm not sure I really did.
At some point later, the Alpha Buck grows bored with the lesson and joins his lover in teasing my student. I get up from my seat with Dimitri with a great sigh and make my way over to the opposite end of the arena, where I see her fuming.
"All done, Claude?"
"Victory is mine, Teach. I'm miles ahead of Crashe and Burn over there."
Looking back at the two other participants, I stew in what a terrible pun that is. Claude seems rather stupefied that I don't laugh at it. Little does he know – I literally cannot laugh. Not that I would, but the point of identification remains.
"What are you doing now?" I inquire.
"We're trying to get Princess Edelgard to participate, Professor! She really needs to improve her grades" Hilda informs me. She begins to tug at her cape.
It occurs to me that I'm going to have to grade these students at some point. What a hassle that will be. Should I just pre-emptively give Edelgard As in everything? No… then she'd accuse me of patronizing her.
But then if I only give her Bs, or something like that – I worry that I'll hurt her self-esteem and perhaps provoke another nothing argument.
So, I ask Sothis.
"Hmmm… so now you want my advice, is that it?" She asks through a disinterested-but-interested yawn.
"Sure."
"Well, there is a first time for everything… usually you are just barking commands at me."
"You like that."
"Phooey!"
"I just want your opinion."
She lets me stew in this very authoritative command for a few moments.
"I suggest you... turn back the hands of time and let the axe fall on her in Remire."
Is she being serious?
"No." I reply.
"Hah! I've finally bested you."
"What?"
"I can see it very well. You thought I was serious!"
"...I did?"
"Of course you did – I can read your mind! Now do not argue with me, for I am eternal and much smarter than you."
At this logic I grimace. If she's eternal, aren't I also eternal? What's the implication thread there?
Can I also read her mind?
"...I would never allow it!"
There is of course the off-chance that we are indeed separate beings – as stupid as that sounds. If she is though… Is Sothis another person that I must protect? She seems like she needs to be protected, at least – given how much she sleeps.
"You shan't be winning any sympathy from me with that fawning expression of yours…"
I'm not fawning, at least I think I'm not. Should I be?
"You are most certainly fawning, you most certainly should, and I am quite the expert in being fawned over! But…! Best save it for your woman."
"My woman?" I ask.
"The girl who is about to become agitated with you, her!"
"You're becoming agitated with me."
She does not reply further, but she does sigh. Something kicks at my chest, though – and after that, I find myself getting her meaning. My focus returns squarely to my student. And as Sothis correctly noted – currently, Edelgard is pouting at me. And, of course – Edelgard (like Sothis) gets agitated after pouting at me - generally after interpreting whatever reply I make as insufficiently attentive. When she finally notices my blank stare at Claude transfer to her, she pipes up with a smallish voice, one that I don't usually hear from her.
"...I have no interest in this immaturity at all. Instruct them to leave me in peace."
In my experience, the best way to deal with Claude is just to totally ignore his presence, so I attempt to engage my student in polite conversation.
"Are you feeling okay, Edelgard?" I ask fawningly.
Or at least, I think that's as fawningly as I can emote – with a very incomplete idea of what fawning actually entails.
Going by Sothis's metric– that was the sensation I had with her when I thought about how vulnerable she was, and I feel the same with Edelgard right now as Claude and Hilda eye her like the flesh-eating piranhas that lurk under the Great Bridge of Myrddin.
Perhaps I feel that way with Edelgard more than I do with Sothis, because I'm the only person who can really rile Sothis up, and Edelgard seems to get agitated at everyone when she's not busy being coolly detached and intellectual. My student needs more protection than Sothis, in effect.
"...Well, there is already someone else I prefer anyway!"
"Who is that?" I ask.
"...I don't remember! Although it is certain that he was like you, except better in every way. He was especially more handsome than you, he doted on me… and was much more attentive to my feelings!"
"...You have feelings?"
Again, genuine question. If these are her feelings, she should sort them out - because for the longest time, I didn't have her around – and I remember feeling nothing. I'm having some difficulty understanding how people just "get" feelings all of a sudden. I certainly don't understand it when these sensations are my own.
"Phooey! You're terrible! Nothing like my beloved." I'm informed.
Maybe she should go back to him instead of lingering around with me.
Another kick at my chest is felt at this thought.
My eyes dart back to Edelgard, who is currently blushing.
"...I-I'm fine, my teacher, truly! There is hardly any need to fawn over me."
Claude and Hilda look on quietly with mild surprise. If they're going to pipe down, I'd be content to continue talking to her. I find myself wondering more about Edelgard's interests in literature. Perhaps we could read a book together and discuss it over tea, like I had done with Dorothea. My student is similarly opinionated, and getting her view on such things would allow me to know her far better than I do now, I imagine.
"What are you reading?"
Unfortunately, my question lands with a thud.
"Why must I inform you of that… in the present company…?" her eyes dart over to the two Deer to indicate her dissatisfaction with their presence.
And in effect, she's back to serving herself up on a platter...
"Because Teach is Your Teacher." The Alpha Buck informs her sternly, before I can reply.
Her red-hosed legs pivot to the side of her stool, scrutinizing Claude fully.
"Hmph...What concern is it of yours what name I call him? It's not as if he wanted to teach you."
Claude brings up his palms in feigned capitulation. Although I do get the impression that she struck a nerve, as his brow furrowed significantly at the rejection-by-proxy. He looks at me.
"She's right." I confirm with a shrug.
When she gets the confirmation, she laughs haughtily at Claude, and brings up a half-clasped fist to her chin that looks almost like a cat's paw. Claude seems genuinely struck this time – but it's only fair. I can't have him bully her, can I?
Or am I just overreacting?
"Ha! Naturally, we have prevailed against these halfwits, my teacher."
Hilda seems totally nonplussed – but Claude does look rather like a bent arrow. His neck slips down a bit after that, and I feel as if I've bullied him. And I don't wish to do that anymore.
This is too dramatic. Maybe we're both overreacting. What a strange thing that is for me to say about myself as well. Since when do I overreact?
Still, Edelgard's banter is coming along. Budding talents need time to blossom. Claude, for his part, eventually recovers as well.
"...Yeesh– No need for the claws, Edelcat – I'm not trying to steal your favorite toy away."
The Adrestian does have moderately feline qualities to her. Although the cat at the mock battlefield generally was more compliant with my directions than she is.
"I was friends with a cat, I believe. When I was with my family…" I'm told by my suddenly chatty mind-mate.
I'm torn between following up on whether or not I have another hallucination kicking around – of a clawed variety... given the slashing and stabbing pain in my chest lately, but I then notice Edelgard getting up from her stool and standing by my side cockily. She's clearly rehearsed something.
I get the vague impression she's walking into a trap.
"Well, you are not so foolish. It certainly seems that way." Sothis confirms.
I raise an eyebrow, mentally – that is.
"Phooey! You are always misunderstanding my intent. I am simply saying that it is a welcome change to see you protecting people without killing yourself in the process."
"Protecting Edelgard, you mean." I clarify.
Sothis was awfully quiet when Bernadetta was getting raked over the coals by the Claudester.
"So…? Perhaps I like it when you protect her. I certainly do not owe you a reason! You owe me your life, in fact! Many times over…!"
I sense, quite innately, that I'm having a nothing argument with a fictional woman who acts like the real woman I have nothing arguments in real life about.
There's a loud sigh and another kick.
Meanwhile, the real woman who I have nothing arguments with in real life is preparing to strike Claude with a verbal labrys.
"...I would focus only on him, but you are most distracting! Unlike you, he treats me with respect and dignity… and certainly does not resort to clapping around in front of me like a… trained Duscur Bear with cymbals… all for crumbs of attention…!"
Hilda seems stupefied by Edelgard's last statement. To her credit, it's quite a Linhardtian analogy. Not as well timed and definitely more cringey than my gentle genius's, but the germ of it is still present.
And I begin to think that maybe the trap wasn't sprung, after all.
Claude, however – sees an opening.
"Focus, huh? Is that what you tell him when he's clapping your cheeks from behind, too?"
I don't think I've ever had the chance to clap Edelgard's cheeks, although I did slap one. Still, she goes beet red.
"...Y-you two are truly testing my patience…!"
Well, whatever he said – it worked.
Finally, Hilda arrives with the trump card.
"Speaking of tests, Professor – we were trying to get Princess Edelgard to test her talents!"
At this she twirls her neck and brushes her hair with her hand – the motion is directed away from Hilda and towards me. I have no idea why she's doing this because she's arguing with Hilda and not me, but let it wash over me anyway.
"Naturally, I am always attempting to apply my skills – right, my teacher?"
She looks at me extremely expectantly and attempts to explain to me in the basest terms with those lavender irises of hers alight that simply staring blankly, or shrugging, or any of those normal non-committal replies will result in a nothing argument. I take this information very seriously, and after a fair bit of consideration, reply:
"Sure."
The look I get in return indicates that this, at least to her, was in fact a non-committal reply, in spite of being a very succinct confirmation of what she just said. Her brow furrows.
"Hardly a ringing endorsement." Claude pipes in.
She then takes a rather agitated step towards me.
"Well, don't waste my time – tell me what I've done to ruin your esteem for me so quickly, then."
A nothing argument has arrived. Shaking my head, I reply:
"I want to learn more about your goals, Edelgard."
A kind of perverse combination of blushing and sweating seems to overtake her. As if she's… flattered but also extremely pensive.
"...W-whyever would we do that now? And here, no less?!"
Because I'm your teacher and at some point I feel as if I should actually teach you something you'd like to learn? ...Is this another nothing question?
The sister of my old comrade slides into my view and adds:
"...They're probably very lewd, Professor. Have you heard about what happens in the Empire? My big bro Holst must have told you a bunch of stories."
There seems to be a really big disconnect between the Holst that I know, and the Holst that Hilda knows. I stare at her blankly while I consider this.
I find it hard to believe there's anything lewder than what her brother did at the bars in the Locket. Unfortunately, most of his passions were quite public-facing – and privacy in a barracks is hard to come by, anyway. If all the random thrusting on barmaids he did while inebriated and fully clothed wasn't in full view of comrades, we could certainly always hear it upstairs.
Edelgard clears her throat, seemingly thankful that the topic has shifted, and my attention returns to her. Her purple orbs are burning more brightly than I've seen… maybe since the evening of the twenty-third, with the present company that she has been complaining so bitterly about– ironically enough.
"...There is nothing lewd at all about Adrestia, my teacher. Enbarr in particular is the city of Pure, Chivalric, Eternal, Love. I've read many novels the past few years with that city as the backdrop for very dramatic, passionate, and life-altering romances."
It is… strange that she speaks of Enbarr as if she's never spent much time there. Is the palace secluded, or did she grow up elsewhere? Every answer from her seems to raise a thousand more questions, which while frustrating… does make me quite curious to learn more about her.
And… perhaps because I feel as if I've learned something here about Edelgard, my chest gives off a warm glow. The warm glow also hurts, but not terribly. This is clearly a topic worth following up on.
"...You enjoy novels?"
She retreats from this question as soon as I ask, her lavender irises falling from mine.
"As I mentioned… I have less than zero desire to discuss my interests in the present company."
Edelgard – you literally just did, though. Before I can tell her that, Claude catches my attention by waving a familiar looking book in his hand.
"Teach, I've got a proposal."
Edelgard turns to face him and goes stiff.
"Is that… I left it on the stool?!" She says this as less of a question and in more of a rhetorical exclamation in self-flagellatory fashion.
"I already caught the title, Edel." Claude notes.
Hilda snickers like an Almyran Hyena.
In response, Edelgard takes a few steps forward and tries to grab the book from uplifted hand, but she is far too short.
"I insist you hand it back to me this instant, Von Riegan!"
"What are your thoughts, Teach?" he asks me.
Shrugging, I say:
"Go for it."
"My teacher?!"
"All Edel has to do here is hit one of your veiny targets on the dummy over there – and I'll give this back to her. If she misses, I'll tell you the title... and then give it back."
Those are fair terms, right?
"I accept."
My student turns with hands on her hips, informing me that those were not fair terms at all.
"Whyever are you negotiating with this terrorist?"
Shrugging, I say:
"I have absolute faith in you."
Claude whistles. I'm not sure which one of these two stimuli prompt her to blush, but blush she does.
"N-Naturally, I'm your House Leader, of course!"
Taking the cue, I walk back towards the range.
"Let the lesson begin, then." I say with a nod.
With Ashe, Bernadetta, and Dimtiri watching in a tense silence, the four of us approach the firing line. Edelgard, trembling, grabs a bow.
The Alpha Buck schmoozes over to her side with a massive smirk and dancing emerald irises.
"You ready, Edel? I can hold your hand if you want..."
The notion of Claude holding Edelgard's hand bothers me somewhat, but I don't protest. She's certainly entitled to receive help from others.
To my relief, though – she flatly denies it.
"Hmph. I'd… much prefer cutting my own path, of course."
She's looking at me as she says this. Why does she always try and assess my reaction when she turns down help from others, I wonder? She did the same with Sylvain.
"You're quite foolish!" Sothis informs me.
This is one of those times where constructive criticism from the small green haired girl freeloading in my head would be more useful than whatever the status quo is. I get the impression that if she is in fact "eternal" as she claims, this "beloved" of hers must have been trapped inside her head as well. Who wants to be given this much grief day in and day out.
"My Beloved and I were very passionate lovers. You would be surprised." I'm told.
Is this jailbait hallucination implying what I think she is? Blinking furiously, I attempt to dispel those thoughts and focus on the challenge.
Claude dips an arrow-tip into the concentrated vial of valerian tincture.
"Teach, can you stand by the target and check to see if she hits the veins? Sometimes the ink gets muddy."
He's taking this quite seriously. I guess that's natural, considering he issued the challenge in the first place. Nodding, I make my way over to the left of the target, giving about three feet of breathing room between myself and the line of fire.
"You're quite, quite foolish…!" She sounds almost giddy as she intimates this.
My student nocks the arrow, her eyes focusing in on the painted dummy.
"Keep your eye on the target Edel." Claude advises.
Those eyes of hers dart back to me again – and then to Claude. She needs better armor against this sort of thing. Something to protect her against the perennial prodding of this swarthy scallywag.
"...Are you attempting to imply that I would knowingly wound him from this distance?" she asks with a huff.
"...Who said anything about knowing anything?" Claude's palms shoot up in another fake surrender.
Those lavender irises return to the target, squinting.
"Hmph. You are trying to rile me up. I will not reply to your baiting any further."
"Fine, fine." comes the reply of His Deceitfulness.
Is he deceiving me too, I wonder?
I don't have the time to contemplate this, of course. The last thing I hear before the arrow leaves the bowstring is:
"...Is that a rat?" from the Deer.
And the world cuts to black shortly thereafter.
