XXXXXXXXXXXX
Fade to Black
XXXXXXXXXXXX
"Inuyasha, what are you..." Kagome tried before he sealed her mouth with a long lingering kiss and began fumbling with her clothes. Pulling away, the poor miko breathed, "We can't do that. Not right now."
"Listen. Naraku's. Gone. I. Died," he huffed in between feverish kisses, "Almost. Lost. You."
"I get that but..." Kagome argued before he attempted to cut her off with more kisses. Turning her head away, she reached up to grab his hands before he successfully undressed her and groaned, "Just not right now. The jewel shards..."
"Don't care," he replied with a small pout as he effortlessly pulled his hands out of her much weaker grip and cupped her face to force her to look at him, "The jewel shards will be so easy to find. So easy. We got time."
"We can't track down everybody in Japan," Kagome huffed as she gave him a look that clearly said 'try to kiss me again and you die.'
"You said..."
"Okay so take Koga, for example," Kagome huffed and Inuyasha rolled his eyes as he realized where this was going, "Or Shori or like how many villages. You don't think someone might have come found you to ask how the hell everyone they knew died popped back up like daisies?"
"I mean..."
"Or like the random demon or whoever going around killing people? That's not an issue?" Kagome interrupted, "What about Naraku's incarnations? Kanna. Kagura. That..."
"Okay, Okay I get it. Shit happened. Gotta fix it," he groaned as he pushed himself up to look down at her and scowled, "But I'm marking you before we do any of that."
"You're going to do what now?" Kagome squeaked and Inuyasha only looked more frustrated.
"Well seeing as how I haven't seen you in two years my usual scent mark ain't there anymore," Inuyasha explained as he rolled his eyes like it was obvious, "Back then it was easy to keep that up but what with you causing problems and making decisions on your own that effect me, I'm not letting you out of my sight unless you have something more permanent."
"Uh, the decision that affected you only happened because you were dead," Kagome groaned as she let her head fall back and tried to roll onto her side to get up. Shaking his head, Inuyasha quickly pinned her wrists down and growled, "You still should have asked me."
"What about you were dead do you not understand?" Kagome clipped back using his own turn of phrase against him, "What was I supposed to do? Ask your corpse?!"
Pinpricks of blood began blossoming on her wrists as his grip tightened.
"That's not what I mean," Inuyasha growled as he leaned down until their noses were almost touching, "You don't get to decide what is best for me. You don't get to decide what I want or don't want. Ever."
Kagome gave him a withering look.
"It wasn't like..."
"No, I don't want to hear it," Inuyasha hissed and for the first time true anger was in his tone, "You brought me back just left me behind. You were just going to leave without telling me anything. You waited two years before coming back to make sure your stupid wish worked! I could've been dead all this time! You had no idea whether the jewel held up its part of the bargain. You might not have had a choice about whether I remembered you or not but you choose to not come back. To not be part of my life because you decided that was best."
Kagome paled and Inuyasha scowled.
"I didn't..."
"You sat around for years now because you decided I wanted Kikyo but I went around thinking I'd found myself a wife," Inuyasha cut her off bitterly, "Do you know how stupid that makes me feel?! Do you know how awkward that conversation was with Kikyo back then?! But I did it because I thought...I was so fucking convinced that I told her! I told her dammit but you were...you just..."
Inuyasha trailed off as he pushed back hard with his hands and sat up. His entire body shaking with rage.
"You told..."
"Don't even go there Kagome. I am in no mood," he hissed as he shot daggers with his eyes.
Kagome honestly didn't even know what to say. Any argument that she could make that he held some deep seeded...
"If it was true that you loved me so much, then why'd you keep following after her like a dog after raw meat," Kagome clipped back and his nostrils flared, "You almost let me die once chasing after her! Wait! More than once you did that! And you always went when she called you! You always..."
"Yeah and you always defended every man who ever wanted you and flirted with them in front of me," Inuyasha huffed defensively, "You told all your friends in your time I was violent and beat you or some shit. You sat me all the time because you didn't get your way but sure, let's just make me the villain here."
"I didn't flirt..."
"You never told Koga no!" Inuyasha snapped, "Not once!"
"I didn't tell him yes ei..."
"But you didn't discourage him!"
"Inuyasha that isn't..."
"Oh but it's not fair that I go see a crazy bitch who constantly threatened you and our friends and teamed up with Naraku and all sorts of other batshit things," Inuyasha snorted angrily before continuing in a mocking tone , "Because what could go wrong with pissing her off, huh? It was so bad trying to show an unnatural being running on hatred and rage the same compassion you showed me? I was like her and you saved me! What was so wrong with trying to save her?!"
Kagome blinked. Wait what?
"You weren't..."
"I hated everyone Kagome," he groaned, "I planned on killing you at first. Actively planned on it. But you changed me and I thought showing a little kindness by not flat out abandoning..."
"You really were..."
Inuyasha froze like a deer in the headlights as he realized the full ramifications of what he'd just said.
"I always...I've seen you fight. You..."
Inuyasha let out a shuddering breath.
"I couldn't really move at first," he admitted as his heart dropped, "I think...what was that word you used? Dammit. I mean it had been fifty years of being pinned to a tree unable to move? Fifty years of being unable to do anything except listen and smell the world around me. I was pissed. I would've killed everyone if you hadn't stayed. When I woke up I barely had any feeling in my arms and my eyes could barely focus and..."
"I never knew."
"You weren't supposed to," he admitted softly as he averted his slightly angry gaze. More than ever before, he hated his quick temper. Saying shit like that was a great way to convince her to stay. Good move. Really thought that one out.
"Well, yay for the beads then," Kagome half-chuckled, half-sighed. His lips twitched upwards and he glanced at her to read her expression.
"Know what? Let's just not focus too much on the past," Kagome offered hesitantly, "We both made a lot of mistakes. A lot of things were clearly misunderstood. But like you said...all that matters is that we love each other. That's all that matters."
Some of anger seeped out of him as he searched her face.
"I'm sorry I didn't come back," she continued as she gave him a guilt, sad smile, "I should have."
"And sorry for...for whatever you think I did wrong," Inuyasha countered begrudgingly and Kagome arched a single brow with a bemused grin.
"Thanks," the miko replied with a soft snort. Inuyasha laughed softly and rolled his eyes.
"So you want to, uh, mark me?" Kagome asked awkwardly and he nodded slowly. Humming, Kagome cleared her throat before asking, "What does that entail?"
"In the past I, uh, scent marked you," he admitted with a blush, "That's why I carried you so much. And...and other things."
"Like what?" Kagome asked before her eyes widened in horror, "You didn't pee on me, did you?!"
"What? No!"
"Then what..."
"I, uh..." he tried as he blushed furiously, "There isn't a word for it."
He sighed and glared at the ground while Kagome waited for him to continue.
"It's kinda like...it's kinda like..." he tried before he swallowed thickly and shook his head "I don't know. It doesn't matter. But that's why I hated you bathing. Because it'd wash my scent off and then I'd have to get it back on you."
"So you want to, uh, scent mark me again?" Kagome asked and he slowly shook his head, "What do you want..."
"There are a lot of different marks Kagome," he sighed as he chewed his cheek, "What I wanted to do was a mark that...well that was a true bonding mark. Ya know...like you mark me. I mark you. During...well it would've been more permanent. So you couldn't leave me again. I mean in theory you still could but..."
He trailed off as he looked down and began playing awkwardly with his hands. It was such an uncharacteristic motion that Kagome didn't know what to make of it.
"I'm not going to leave you again," Kagome promised softly and he glanced at her before looking back down at his hands, "I mean does it have to be done during, uh, that?"
He shrugged and sighed, "Yeah in a manner of speaking..."
"Which manner," she asked and he flushed so heavily his ears turned pink before muttering something so quietly she couldn't hear it.
"S'not important," he huffed as he avoided the question, "But there are other marks. Not as permanent but...but if you'll let me..."
"Again, what does marking someone the not as permanent way entail, exactly?" Kagome asked as she searched his face.
"Drawing blood," he admitted as he sent her a guilty look, "I've done that type of mark before. Pricked you on purpose when I was carrying you. It's...it's specific. A pattern. That's...that's what there's not a word for. Lasts until it heals."
Kagome wanted to get mad at him for doing that without her permission but she couldn't find it in her. If he really had thought they were married or engaged or what have you, he probably honestly thought he had the right to do it. Still it was hypocritical to say she couldn't make decisions without talking to him when he was guilty of the same.
"Why didn't you ever say anything?" she asked in a mildly irked tone, "Didn't you just say I couldn't make one sided decisions?"
"Sango kept mentioning them to you. Asking questions," he sighed awkwardly, "I thought she explained so I didn't bother"
Taken aback, Kagome tried to search her memories for those conversations but came up short. There had been a few times during their baths that had been about unknown scrapes and bruises but...
Kagome's eyes as she realized something.
"You spied on us," she accused and Inuyasha cringed.
"Sometimes," he admitted as he glanced at her again, "I thought I had that right to be near you during times like that. And yeah, sure, I wanted to see you naked but I had that right. I spent years thinking you were my wife, remember?"
His tone was both defensive and hurt which had Kagome feeling tremendously guilty.
"Well..." Kagome began slowly, "Do you want to do that now?"
He nodded as he twiddled his thumbs.
"Fine. Fine," Kagome huffed exasperateldy and held out her wrist, "Go ahead."
"They don't go there," he chuckled darkly as he pointedly looked at her thighs and back up at her. Kagome's eyes nearly bugged out of her head.
"Wait a minute! How does that work?! What's the point is no one can see it?!" Kagome challenged and Inuysha rolled his eyes.
"Gets my scent in you," he explained poorly, "It's not about the mark so much as...as getting...it's about the scent. Not the mark. The mark is just like...fuck, there isn't a word, alright? There isn't a good way to explain it. It's a possessive mark that lets other demons know I intend to fuck you but haven't yet."
Kagome wished she just knew these things so she didn't have to have this conversation. This was winning the most awkward and uncomfortable conversation competition hands down.
"How does pricking me get your scent...on me? In me?" Kagome groaned and Inuyasha cringed - his lips moving but no audible sound coming out.
"How does it..."
"I prick myself first, alright? And my blood gets in your blood," he finally admitted as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "And yeah, I knew you didn't understand but you kept flirting with Koga and the bastard came around every damn time my scent mark wasn't strong so I started doing that instead to ward him off. We were intended, ya know, and it wasn't like it...we just couldn't, uh, settle down with Naraku out there. So I did that to stake my claim. I didn't think, okay? It was stupid. There. Happy?"
Strangely, Kagome actually was. All that time he'd loved her. It made a warped kind of sense. There were moments where he was affectionate and he obviously cared for her a great deal but she'd never imagined there was a romantic reason for his behavior. Not once.
"You could've just said 'Kagome I love you' instead of marking me without me knowing. You know how to use words, right?" she teased and Inuyasha sent her a withering glance.
"Yeah well you could've said it too," he clipped back with a faint blush, "And not just to strangers. You never said it to me. And...and you were the one who was stupid. Thinking I didn't care. I don't touch just anyone. Damn near every injury I got was from protecting you. You think I survived so long by getting injured every other day? Love made me sloppy. Couldn't focus because..."
Kagome flinched slightly at the reminder of his broken body and Inuyasha sighed heavily.
"Wait. I didn't mean...that wasn't your fault," he murmured gently as he reached over to cup her chin, "I didn't die because of you, okay?"
Kagome wanted to believe him but couldn't quite bring herself to do it. Inuyasha's gaze softened as he gently caressed her chin with his thumb.
"I love you," he tried with a reassuring smile before inhaling deeply and trudging forward, "I love you more than anything, okay? Whatever happened..."
He paused and shook his head.
"Whatever happened that made you think I'd be better off without you," he continued hesistantly, "For whatever reason, just know that I need you. And I don't just say that to anyone."
For the umpteetnth time, Kagome was concerned the jewel had damaged him. Since when was he such an expert about sharing his feelings. He laughed softly and shrugged to her silent question.
"I didn't know I was any other way," he admitted as he gave her an affectionate smile, "When I got thrown back into that life, there were these people I knew so much about and I felt safe around them but didn't know why. Or I did, I guess, with the fake memories but...I figured that I must have talked to them about things. Must've shared because no one had ever...I hadn't exactly made friends before them. So I just kept at it and it got easier."
Kagome opened her mouth to add her thoughts before her eyes widened as something occurred to her. A relatively random, unrelated thought honestly but one that suddenly was all she could think about.
"Shiori," she breathed as a sick feeling swirled in her gut and Inuyasha blinked in confusion, "Her grandfather had jewel shards."
Inuyasha seemed rather taken aback as he tried to catch up.
"What about her?"
"The jewel is twisted so it could've brought him back," Kagome argued as she began getting to her feet but Inuyasha yanked her back down.
"Where do you think you're going?," he demanded softly, "I can't lose you again. You can't leave me like that again. I need assurances before we go anywhere."
"But Shori..."
Inuyasha's nostrils flared as her amber eyes flashed dangerously. His face contorting in thinly veiled rage that she hadn't seen since he first found out Naraku was responsible for Kikyo's death. Well, he had said he'd be mad later and later appeared to be now.
"She can't wait like she's been waiting for two god damn years," he hissed as the grip on her wrist tightened, "Now you're gunna let me mark you. You aren't going anywhere until..."
Eyes widening at his sudden change in tone, Kagome couldn't do much more than gape at him as amber eyes bore into her very soul. Inuysha swore under his breath as he set his jaw and glared.
"You know what's messed up?" he ground out, "I'd trust you with my life but I can't trust you to stay in it. I need you to promise me you'll stay by my side. I need you to say it."
"Inuyasha..." Kagome sighed as she tried to get to her feet but he held firm and tugged.
"Sit your ass back down and say it," he demanded, "I don't care if the jewel tries to pull that kinda shit again. I don't care what might happen. You need to promise me you won't leave like that again."
"I won't leave you again," Kagome promised as she glanced pointedly at her wrist, "Now you're hurting me. Let go."
Inuyasha's whole being seemed to relax as he loosened his grip and gave her a sad little smile.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you," he murmured as he flattened his palm and stared at her redden skin, "I should'nt've lost it like that. I just..."
He sighed and shook his head before raising her wrist and placing a soft kiss against the irritated flesh.
"I know you thought you were doing the right thing," he sighed heavily as he pulled back, "You were scared. I get that. I just...I want to make sure that..."
Clearing his throat, he tried to think of what to say without getting upset again. It bothered him immensely that he flipped out like that. He was just...
"It scares me that you might leave again," he admitted as his lips twitched upwards before casting her a half-amused, half-pleading glance, "And I don't scare easy. Let me mark you. Please."
Swallowing thickly, Kagome nodded.
