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Fade to Black

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Rubbing one hand over his face, it took Inuyasha a moment to remember exactly where he was. Having the warmth of Kagome's body next to him let muscles he didn't even know he had relax. He'd even dreamed a little which was new. Shifting slightly, Inuyasha blindly reached for Kagome's small form before rocketing into full blown panic.

Sitting up, Inuyasha tried to discern by scent how long she'd been missing before his heart absolutely plummeted. Hours. She'd been gone for hours. How had he not noticed? His breath began coming out in short pants as his heart tried to break out of his chest. His nose going into overtime to try to determine whether she was at least nearby and it was a wonder his ears weren't getting whiplash at the speed they were swiveling.

"...come with you," he heard Shiori's voice murmur awkwardly and with a shuddering sigh of relief, he discerned Kagome was nearby. Of course, the little bat teenager would want to talk to the only girl she could trust in the world and want to be near people who understood her rather than stay here. Yes, the villagers tolerated her presence now but that wasn't the same as being around people who understood you and accepted you. Inuyasha would know that better than anyone.

It had been nice to learn that Shiori was indeed fine and that nothing bad had happened to her since they'd left. Whatever Kagome had wished for hadn't impacted Shiori or her home which was a good thing. This revelation did help narrow down the search a little bit insofar as the presence of a jewel shard didn't automatically revive whatever bastard had used one. Only those who had a connection to Naraku. However, given the number of individuals that Inuyasha had had the displeasure of killing a second time suddenly begged the question of who all Naraku had influenced. Some of them Inuyasha would never have believed had any connection and yet they'd been revived.

"That's so nice of you to offer but we're not even sure what we're doing," Kagome replied softly, "Besides you're still so young. I'm not..."

"I'm fifteen," Shiori interrupted defensively, "I'm not a child."

Inuyasha chuckled softly at that as he slowly made him way out of the hut and towards the sound of their voices. They were on the beach it would seem. Whatever Kagome was going to say about youth had definitely just been thrown out the window. She had fallen into his life on her fifteenth birthday so she honestly couldn't say that fifteen was too young to embark on a quest.

"I know you're not," Kagome mumbled awkwardly, "But this..."

"I understand that you two are together and will want private time," Shiori began pleading desperately, "I won't interfere with that. As for my mother, she's been trying to convince me to leave anyway and then here you come on a quest and..."

"I can't make that decision on my own," Inuyasha heard Kagome scramble and he scoffed once in disgust. She seriously was going to convince him to be the bad guy? Or she thought he would be the bad guy here without her having to say anything. Frankly he felt a little offended even if there was some truth to it. If Shiori had asked him directly, he probably would have said 'no' as a knee jerk reaction without thinking one way or the other. That being said, he was thinking about it now and well…if there had been manifestations of a useful sort then…then why couldn't she join them? They'd need help and probably wouldn't be able to finish this quest on their own. A defense-oriented ally would…

"But I was going to leave anyway," Shiori continued a little desperately, "There's no place for me here. The villagers all hate me and I'm just a burden to my mother at this point. It's not like I can settle down and get married. There is no you for me. At least not in this village. You met Inuyasha traveling. No one ever comes here."

Kagome smelled momentarily confused and then heartsick. Like she had actually forgotten half-demons didn't have a place in this world. That it was, in fact, hard for a half-demon to find a place to belong much less find someone to love them.

"What we're doing is dangerous," Kagome began again slowly and he could smell Shiori's unparalleled sense of defeat, "And I know you've been working on offensive attacks but..."

"Use me as defense then," Shiori argued weakly, "My senses aren't strong like his are but no one can break through my barrier and I can hear well."

Inuyasha cringed.

"For example," Shiori continued as her voice grew a little in confidence, "Inuyasha is hiding from us two huts away."

"I already knew that," Kagome admitted and Inuyasha rolled his eyes, "He's not the only one with powers."

"Dammit Kagome," Inuyasha huffed as he moved away from the hut and began walking towards them, "If you knew I was there why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I wasn't sure she could tell," she admitted and Shiori's aura flared indignantly.

"Well then," the little bat teenager huffed as she got to her feet and brushed some of the sand away from her clothes, "If you both are done humiliating me, I will just..."

"Have you ever been in a fight before?" Inuyasha interrupted her as he raised a single eyebrow, "Killed someone before?"

Shiori shifted uncomfortably as she averted her eyes.

"I'll take that as a no," the older half-demon concluded, "When was the last time you aged?"

Translucent purple eyes whipped up to meet his gaze as Shiori openly gaped at him.

"How did you..."

"When?" he interrupted and Shiori let out a shuddering breath.

"About two years ago," she admitted with a faint blush, "Is that common with all half-demons or..."

"Did anything manifest when you stopped?" he continued and Shiori's eyes grew wide like her whole world was just flipped upside down.

"Defensive things? Attacks? Powers?" Inuyasha clarified and Shiori let out a shuddering breath.

"I can fly," she replied hopefully, "Make barriers as strong as the one you absorbed. I've…I've been practicing to use them as a weapon. Just in case."

For a moment, Inuyasha was silent as he gave the girl a once over before groaning and shaking his head.

"You can come with us," Inuyasha sighed heavily as he pinched the bridge of his nose, "But lets get one thing straight. You've got to keep up. If I say run you run. If I say back down you back down. If I say…"

Shiori nodded excitedly as she agreed to literally everything he was demanding. He could've asked her to sell him her soul and she probably would've ripped it out of her chest to hand it over.

"Uh, Inuyasha? Can I speak with you a moment?" Kagome asked nervously as she gave him a somewhat alarmed look, "Alone?"

Nodding, Inuyasha scooped her up and a few short leaps later they were outside of Shiori's hearing range. Or at least he hoped they were.

"You seriously want to bring her with us?!" Kagome hissed, "She's never been in a serious fight before! And she looks like she's eight!"

"She's not lying about her age," Inuyasha sighed heavily, "And someone needs to teach her how to defend herself properly."

"And that person has to be you?" Kagome countered and Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

"Do you see any other half-demons lining up to do it?" he clipped back.

"That's not what I mean," Kagome groaned as she pinched the bridge of her nose, "We don't even know if she can keep up with us? What if she can't? Do you plan on carrying her too?"

"If I've gotta then yeah."

Kagome bounced one leg as she tried to figure out why Inuyasha, of *all* people, decided that he was going to bring someone they barely knew with them. Inuyasha gave her a withering glare as he folded his arms tightly across his chest.

"It's not like you haven't done something like this. I didn't bitch when you decided we were adopting Shippo," he hissed defensively and Kagome was once again reminded of the mind scent bullshit power he had, "Why are you fighting me on this?"

Wait did he just say they adopted Shippo? As in together? Did Inuyasha see Shippo as his son because he sure as hell never acted like it and if that was how Inuyasha thought you parented a baby that was concerning to say the least. Although…although who had been raising Shippo while she'd been away? She hadn't even thought to ask and Inuyasha had…he'd made a point to talk to the kit right before they left.

"Were you raising Shippo when I was gone?" she asked suddenly and Inuyasha blushed but didn't admit or deny if that was the case. Letting out a long steadying breath, he ran his hands through his hand once before folding them in front of his chest again.

"I was just…I'm trying to prove a point" Inuyasha huffed in frustration, "It's not like we're adopting Shiori. We're adding a defensive warrior which is a good thing. Especially because neither of us are great at defense. And I never bitched about adding new people. You added new people all the time and…"

"Okay but this is different. Randomly adding someone to our group who has no dog in this fight…"

"There is no group. Not anymore. There is only you and me," Inuyasha snapped as his nerves finally hit the tipping point and flung his mind straight over the edge.

"They're not dead Inuyasha…"

"They just have no idea who you are," he countered almost hatefully, "Stuck in some fantasy life that isn't even real. Even if we do remove their shards, do you honestly think they'll want to start another endless quest? Miroku and Sango? They're trying for a baby. They're married. They're settled. What motivation do they have to do this? Shippo is a child. He shouldn't have to do another quest. He's done enough. The only reason you're on this quest in the first place is because you fucked up. I'm only on it because I want to settle down and you won't until we figure this shit out. This go around its just us so…so…"

Deflating visibly, any anger and frustration the half-demon was feeling whooshed out of him at the look of shock then pain then anger that flooded Kagome's features. Huffing, Inuyasha anxiously ran one hand through his hair and closed his eyes.

"Wait, shit I didn't mean…" he backpedaled desperately, "I just…if you don't want Shiori to come, that's fine. I just thought…"

Kagome's heart broke for more reasons than one. Despite his attempts to seem otherwise, the pain he felt once he knew she'd left him behind was still raw. The heartbreak that was finding out he wasn't in a secure relationship like he'd believed for years still very much there. It didn't matter that she loved him. Well it did and it didn't. Although up until this point he'd never admitted as much, Inuyasha wanted a stable, secure and apparently stationary relationship. He wanted to settle down, have a wife and have kids which was a perfectly normal thing to want.

And then she came back like a wrecking ball to destroy everything he thought he knew and make those dreams seemingly unobtainable. Two years had passed and everyone had moved on like they would have if it hadn't been for the wish. Now that she thought about it, Miroku and Sango wouldn't want to go out on another quest like this. One that could take years. Life goes on whether you want it to or not and her friends were happy. They were trying to start a family.

Which begged the question of whether they needed to get Shippo and bring him along for the ride. Even though he was a child who shouldn't have to go on another quest, he was a child who probably should be with his parents regardless of their lifestyle. Right? This was just another thing that made her feel sick. Shippo thought of her as his mother. She'd known that and yet she hadn't even given him a second thought.

"…just thought it would be good. That's all," Inuyasha concluded lamely – looking utterly miserable and defeated, "I should've talked with you first."

"This seems really important to you," Kagome began slowly, "I guess my question is why this is so important to you?"

Inuyasha searched her face for a moment before sighing and setting his jaw.

"I've never met a half-demon older than me," he admitted, "Not one. It could just be that I'm lucky but more likely it's because I learned to fight and I was good at it. Even Jineji is decades younger than me give or take from the smell of him. He's, what, around forty? A little less than that even. I'm a hundred and fifty. I've managed to survive when most half-demons die before they're even able to walk."

"And you want to help Shiori live as long as you have," Kagome concluded and he averted his eyes.

"I just…I died ya know?" he released a shaky sigh, "I've been given another chance so shouldn't I try to make a difference? Do something good this time?"

"This time…" Kagome repeated sadly as she took a few steps closer until there was barely any room between them. The way he tensed and took a step back wasn't exactly encouraging, "Inuyasha you don't need to prove anything. To me. To Shiori. To anyone."

"But I do," he argued with no lack of bitterness as he glared at the ground, "I screwed up. In so many ways. None of this would've happened if…if I had just been literally anyone else."

"Look at me."

"Kagome I'm not…"

"I said look at me," she ordered gently and resigned amber eyes met her gaze, "We don't have to decide tonight. Let's talk about this in the morning, huh?"

Inuyasha shifted slightly and cleared his throat, "We'll need to head to Koga's den. In the morning. If…if Shiori knows she's coming then tonight she can pack"

"Why Koga's den?" Kagome blurted as her eyes widened in mild horror, "That's random."

"Kikyo wanted everyone go there to meet up after I got done with you so that's where the others will be. Slipped my mind until now," he explained, "And I've got to take care of some things. Give Miroku and Sango the opportunity to go to the slayers village if they want. Get…get Shippo."

"You want to bring…but I thought you said…"

"I just say shit okay? I'm not going to leave him," Inuyasha groaned in frustration as he blushed, "I've been the one raising him. He's pretty much my son and I don't…I don't want him to go live in the slayer's village. I know Sango and Miroku wouldn't do something but some of the villagers…some of them the way they stare I just…"

"Are we going to take out their jewel shards then?"

"Yes? No? Maybe…" Inuyasha huffed, "That's something that can wait until morning. One thing at a time."

"So… we tell Shiori she can come with us," Kagome concluded, "And then tomorrow we'll go see Koga and go from there."

Inuyasha smiled faintly.

"Something like that," he laughed as he closed the distance between them and pulled her into a tight embrace, "I'll let Shiori know to start packing while you get ready for bed, alright? I won't be long."

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Kagome tried to stay calm as she waited - both begging him to come back before she chickened our and praying he took his sweet time. If one thing was clear, it was that Inuyasha was hurting and if there was one she hated most in this world, it was to see him in pain. This time was different though. This time his pain was her fault.

It seemed like forever before he came back and he looked slightly surprised but also touched that she'd waited for him.

"Sorry," he murmured sheepishly as he set Tessaiga down beside the futon and sat down, "She had a lot of questions. I thought you were asleep already."

"Ah so the scent powers aren't perfect," Kagome teased and he laughed once and shook his head.

"I was distracted is all," he hummed as he leaned forward before pausing and pulling back with a faint blush. He was going to kiss her Kagome realized. And he was afraid she'd reject him because of what he'd said earlier. Because of their fight. Inuyasha gave her a slightly annoyed look before sighing and laying down.

"You smelled nervous. Didn't want to push my luck," he mumbled in reply as he rolled away from her and closed his eyes, "Whatever. We need to...to...what are you doing?"

He was referring, of course, to the way she was trying to force him to roll over onto his back. Like she actually had the physical strength to make him do anything. Laughing once, he complied with her weak attempts and smiled up at her.

"You're so stupid. You could've just said you wanted to cuddle," he chided gently as one arm reached up to beckon her closer before his smile faltered when she didn't do move and the scent of her nervousness spiked. Lowering his arm, he made to sit up but her hand pressing against his chest made him pause. Normally he could tell by scent alone what she was thinking but this scent...this scent had him endlessly confused. It was the scent she normally carried when she saw him. A scent that made his heart absolutely swell and melt at the same time. The scent of her love. But...but then the nervousness. Fear of rejection. She was trying to build up her courage but courage to do what exactly? Usually he knew Kagome's scent like he knew his own mind. Her every thought - or at least the gist - discernible by the subtle shifts alone but this...this was never a thought she'd had around him before. He'd done something that upset her. That had to be it. Those were only times her scent ever confused him before now.

"Whatever it is, I'm sorry," he blurted out before cringing when she gave him a strange look before a trembling hand suddenly began plucking at the ties of his clothes. Eyes widening in disbelief, his heart began fluttering as he watched her - torn between helping and absolutely terrified to make assumptions. Why would she be undressing him? Did he smell or something?

Given everything, the very last thing on his mind was her doing this for a good reason. She'd made it very clear she wasn't his wife. Very painfully clear. Made it clear that while kissing was okay she had no interest in doing more at the moment. When she pulled the fabric back and exposed his chest, though, a fleeting hope suddenly burst into his mind. Especially she she encouraged him silently to take off his top entirely.

"I w-want to do something," she whispered as her fingertips brushed his stomach making the muscle beneath cringe under her touch. He found himself nodding his consent before whimpering when her fingertips began playing with the edge of his hakama. He wouldn't get his hopes up. Maybe she just...just wanted to give him a massage or something. Or this was just a build up to her kissing him senseless. That would be fine. Not great but not terrible. He liked kissing her. That was...

Her palm suddenly slide down the length of him and a soft curse escaped past his lips. Breathing heavily through his nose, it was actually torture not to encourage her exploration and the small trickle of blood dribbling down his chin from the force he was biting his lip was proof enough of how tortuous this experience was. Back then, during the quest, he'd thought about asking her to do something like this. To touch him. But...but he'd worried that it would lead to more. Things neither of them were really ready to do at the time, thing they couldn't risk doing at the time but two years of watching and listening to other couples he was more than a little ready to become as experienced in this area as possible.

But Kagome didn't want that right now, he stubbornly reminded himself. She didn't then and she didn't now. She'd made that much very...oh god...

Her hand plucked the ties loose and exposed him to her gaze.

The next few minutes were by far the most intimate thing he'd ever experienced. Inuyasha was relatively proud of himself for staying mostly silent as she worked him. What a difference someone else's hand made...

A few moments after that a tired sated grin was playing on his lips as she cleaned up and then lay down beside him with a blush on her cheeks. He kissed her gently a moment after that as a wave of contented exhaustion flowed through him. A part of him - a very stupid part - wanted to ask her why she'd done this. Not that he was complaining or anything it just...it seemed random but luckily the rational part of his mind decided not to question it. Honestly, he'd take what he could get at this point. Anything was better than nothing.

"I love you," he hummed as he awkwardly fumbled with his pants to cover himself before merely giving up and electing to pull her against him instead, "So, so much."

"That's good," Kagome teased as she settled her head atop his shoulder before adding cryptically, "Although I think it goes without saying that most husbands love their wives."

Inuyasha's breath caught slightly at that but he tried to stomp down the hope that fluttered around his heart. She was joking. She didn't mean to say...she didn't think...

He couldn't get his hopes up. She'd made it perfectly clear how she felt about that. Where she stood on that issue.

Didn't she?

"Yeah," Inuyasha cleared his throat as he ran his claws through her hair and tried to slow his pounding heart through sheer will alone, "Guess it does."