Reham: I'm still depressed . . . and it's my birthday!
Two-Bit: It's your birthday?
Soda: Let's CELEBRATE!
-the gang comes out with a huge birthday cake and start singin-
The Gang: Happy Birthday to you! You're a hundred and two! You look like a monkey! ANd you act like one too!
Reham: That just makes me feel more depressed.
Steve: Anyway guys, get ready to laugh your heads off
Two-Bit: Cue me!
Darry: I hate him - I shoulda been there
Pony: What'dya mean?
Johnny: Oh, you'll find out. Read and review. Dally!
Dally: Yes, I am the official disclaimer person. Reham owns shit. She does not own us, or anything. S.E. Hinton is proud to call us hers. NOW READ!
Reham: Yeah . . .
Two-Bit: -runs head-first into the cake screaming "MICKEY MOUSE!"
…:Road Trip:…
:Soda's PoV:
Oh man . . . what the heck was that shaking feeling? Where was it coming from? Oh yeah . . . a hand. Someone was shaking me like I was a vending machine and he had their snack stuck in me. I drearily opened my eyes to see Two-Bit, a big goofy grin on his face.
"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon!" he said, shaking up and down like he was high off of something, which was a very likely possibility.
"What time is it?" I asked.
"Six thirty in the morning! Hurry up, hurry up, hurry UP!"
Then he started running around in a circle right at the foot of my bed. I noticed Pony was already gone. I heard the shower running and knew that it must be him.
"Two-Bit, what did you have this morning?" I asked him, still groggy from my awakening.
"Well, let's see . . . beer, beer, beer, chocolate, sugar, coffee, beer, chocolate, beer, sugar, beer –"
"Whoa, slow down. Darry let you have all of that?" I asked incredulously.
"Well, no, he was asleep and I just thought I'd raid the fridge, you know? Man, coffee and sugar taste great! Woohoo! C'mon! Everyone's awake but you! C'mon, c'mon, c'mon! Get up, get up, get up!"
Oh God, Two-Bit had way too much sugar this morning. He'd drive us all crazy. I knew Dally and Steve were going to take a swing at him for being so chaotic and hyped up. Then I noticed that he already had a light bruise under his left eye.
"Hey Two-Bit, who gave you that bruise?" I asked as I flung the covers off of me.
"Dallas, Dally, Dal. I woke him up and wham! He hits me straight in the eye!"
I had to laugh at that. Two-Bit had to be pretty damn stupid to wake up Dally. Damn, he was hopped up on sugar real good.
Pony had exited the shower and it was my turn. I turned on the water and the coldness hit my back like icicles digging into my skin. Pony had taken all of the hot water! That was one of the reasons that I always woke up early. How long did he take a shower for? An hour?
The shower woke me up something good and I walked out of the bathroom clad only in a pair of jeans. I hadn't even bothered to dry my hair. It was too much work to do in the morning. Walking into the living room, I noticed that Two-Bit had gone outside. He was doing cartwheels and handstands and back flips, and to add to the silliness, he was singing "You Ain't Nothin' But a Hound Dog" by Elvis in a non-passable impression of him. Ponyboy, Steve, and Johnny were sitting on the porch with their morning cake and chocolate milk, laughing their heads off. Dally was looking mighty pissed on the couch, and Darry was in the kitchen eating his own healthier balanced breakfast than chocolate cake and chocolate milk (although he was eating a slice of chocolate cake). I walked in and he looked up.
"Hey Darry, there's no way I'm riding with Two-Bit in the truck," I said to him as I sat down and took a slice of cake for myself.
"Sorry buddy, but Dally's already called the front," he said to me.
"Then we can tie Two-Bit to the back of the truck and when he gets hungry, we'll just feed him!" I said with feigned pleading.
"It wasn't my fault he had all of that sugar."
"Actually, it is – you're supposed to be the supervisor!"
I got him there. He gave me a mock glare and swatted me across the head. I continued eating my cake and finally decided to put on a shirt. I hadn't known that time had gone by so fast because the second I dragged my bag downstairs, Darry was already telling us to get in the truck. It didn't seem like I was the only person that thought time had gone by quickly.
"Damn Darry, ain't it a little too early to be leaving?" asked Dally as he took his bag from the floor.
Darry didn't reply because he was shouting at Two-Bit from outside. "Two-Bit, get your butt in here right now and collect your bags! If I see you eat one more ounce of sugar, I'll make you run after the truck!"
Two-Bit stopped midway in his back flip and fell on his back, his goofy grin still super-glued onto his face. Pony, Steve, and Johnny howled with laughter. Dally even cracked a grin. "Man, Two-Bit's gonna drive us all crazy," he commented while shaking his head.
"Pony, Steve, Johnny, get those dishes in the sink and get in the truck. If you guys aren't in there in five minutes, I'm leaving without you."
No one took that threat seriously. Darry was like one of those military men that always repeated, "No man gets left behind!" But the three of them went about it quickly anyway.
As I was heading towards the car, I suddenly had a fun thought. Darry's Ford was a pickup truck, and the carrier area was big enough to hold the entire gang. What's better than to be sitting in the back, telling stupid stories to each other and cracking jokes? I opened the back passenger seat and threw in my bag, instead of throwing it in the carrier area where Darry told us to put it in the first place. Then I ran back inside the house and took three bags at a time, throwing them into the back seat.
"Sodapop Curtis, what are you doing with those bags?" Darry asked me as he closed the door behind him and made sure it was locked (for once, he actually locked it!). I exchanged glances with Steve and he immediately knew what I was up to. It was this special best friend thing we were able to do.
"Aw, c'mon Dar, we're just gonna have a little fun," he said.
Two-Bit started jumping up and down again. I had already thrown his bag into the back seat. I took Darry's two bags off of his shoulders and took Dally's from the floor and made off with them. I shoved them in the back. Now no one was going to be able to be seated there. Tough luck.
"Darry, all you need to worry about is driving," I said. Of course, he and Dally were going to take turns driving, but at this point, I don't think he wanted to stop driving at all because he would never have wanted to be associated with what we were going to do in the back. "Everybody in the back!" I shouted.
"Woohoo!" Two-Bit cheered as he jumped in the back, resting his back against the left side. Pony hesitantly went in after him. I knew he was thinking that this wasn't a good idea, but I thought it was. I went right in after him, and that was it for the left side. Then Dally sat across Two-Bit, a new cancer stick dangling from his mouth. Johnny sat across Pony, and Steve sat across me. Darry walked over to us, uneasiness taking over his face.
"I'm not sure about this," he said.
"We're okay, Darry. Aren't we guys?" I said. When everyone nodded (Two-Bit looked like he was head-banging at a rock concert), I said, "See?"
"Alright, but if one of you gets uncomfortable, tap on the window and I'll let you take the front seat," he said. Everyone was in disbelief that Darry gave in so soon, but I guess that everyone was also in disbelief that we were going on this trip in the first place. Darry headed to the front and started the car. (A/N: I know that if you do this in some states, it's illegal, but bear with me because it adds fun!). We all let out a whoop.
"Road trip!" I shouted. It was going to take a full 7 hours to get there, or at least that's what Darry said.
"99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer . . . Two-Bit slurps one down and won't pass it around . . . Mmm . . . beer . . ."
We all had to laugh at the parody Two-Bit had started, but he was too busy in his own world to even finish the first verse. I could tell Steve was about to say something, but Two-Bit interrupted him.
"Did I ever tell you guys about the time I was stranded on an island and I had to fight for my life?" he said, his eyes glowing with excitement.
Everyone exchanged glances at this. Two-Bit had never once left Oklahoma, so how the heck did he get stranded on an island? We didn't say anything about it, because we knew that it was going to be an interesting story.
"No, you've never told us that one," said Pony, a slight laugh in his voice.
"Well then, I'll tell it to ya!"
I loved the feeling of the wind rushing through my hair. It whipped the left side of my face because I was seated sideways. It also made my clothes billow. I looked across at Steve and I couldn't help but laugh. I looked at everyone and laughed as well.
"Whatchya laughin' at, Soda?" Two-Bit asked me before he started his story.
"We all gained a lot of weight," I said, staring at the puffy shirt of Steve. Everyone looked down at themselves and laughed as they saw their "Santa" bellies. "Alright Two-Bit, you can continue your story."
"Right, right . . . okay, so there I was, on a bicycle, and I was riding down the road when this cop pulls over, right? So he says 'Okay, hood, now you're gonna get it!' and he takes out a gun and shoots me where the sun don't shine. Then he drags me to the nearest tree and puts me up there. While I'm up there, a spoon suddenly hits my head." I couldn't help it – I was laughing already. "And I think, you know, this spoon's gotta be a sign from the big man up there. Then I suddenly know what the spoon is for. So I hop outta the tree and start carving the trunk of it. I carve this huge chunk out of it and make it into a canoe, right? So I sail it on down the road until I reach this island, right? But this crazed gorilla comes out of no where and eats my boat! I say 'Hey gorilla, go take a chomp out of someone else's canoe!', but that just makes it mad, see? So he starts beating the crap outta me and that's when he suddenly dies. So then I'm stranded on the island with bloody balls and a black eye. The end."
By this time, we're all laughing until our sides hurt, Two-Bit included. I couldn't breathe well because I was laughing so hard. "So – so how'd you get back to Tulsa?" Dally asked when he got himself together.
"I woke up!" was Two-Bit's reply.
That just made us laugh even harder. Two-Bit's laughing so hard that his face is turning purple. He finally takes one giant breath and says, "Wait, wait, I gotta another one!" And that began the series of Two-Bit's crazy stories. We sat for hours listening to his crazy stories. Everyone took turns. Dally told us a story about how he'd beaten the crap out of Tim Shepard's car and spent the day locked up in the trunk of the same car. Steve told a story about three dogs, a cat, and whipped cream, which none of you should ever know the details of. By the time we were finished with another one of Two-Bit's (about a crack in the fence, a dog's tongue, and his own – you can figure that out, can't you?), Darry had already pulled us over at a Dairy Queen for a snack. We immediately piled out of the car, laughing as if Two-Bit had slipped on a banana peel and run head-first into a fat man's belly button. Darry looked at us like we were idiots.
"Come on Darry, why don't you let one of us drive and come and join the rest in the back?" I said as we entered the Dairy Queen.
"There are two reasons: one, you guys are all going to drive like maniacs and two, I don't even want to know what sick and twisted stories Two-Bit's got in his insane mind," he replied with a grin.
"Are you sure we should be here?" asked Pony. "I mean, Two-Bit's hopped up on enough sugar already," he added as he watched Two-Bit.
Two-Bit was swaying slightly now, his eyes rolling every now and then. This must be the sugar taking effect on him. "No worries, Pon. I'll take a burger . . . any more sugar and I'll throw up," he said.
We all squeezed ourselves into one booth and waited for the waitress to come. She wasn't pretty at all, so we didn't bother ourselves with flirting. She didn't look too young, anyway. As a matter-of-fact, she looked older than Darry! We ordered and then we all started talking about what we'd do on the trip.
"Poker all night long," said Two-Bit.
"No way, scary stories!" Steve argued.
"Both," I said.
"Deal."
"I'm going to take a hike up the mountains every morning," said Darry. Everyone looked at him like he was crazy. "It's good for you."
"While you're breaking your back falling off of that mountain, I'm gonna go and catch some fish in that river with my bare hands," said Dally. "I hear it ain't too deep and that there's more fish in the winter than the summer. My old man told me about it."
"Snowball fight!" Two-Bit suddenly exclaimed. I immediately agreed. Steve agreed because I agreed. Johnny agreed because he loved the idea and Pony agreed for the same reason. It was going to be fun. We'd be on teams and then we'd have a snow contest on whose snowman is best. It sounded un-greaser-like, but it was for the fun of it. Like Darry had mentioned before, there were no Socs, so we didn't have to keep a rep. Dally was all for the toughness, though.
"Here you go," the waitress said when she returned with our orders. We thanked her quietly and dug in. I was having a burger, fries, and a Coke. When I bit into my burger, I choked on it because I started laughing. Two-Bit had shoved two fries up his nostrils and was crossing his eyes and sticking out his tongue. Darry rubbed me on the back saying, "I hope you're not going to eat those, Two-Bit."
"No way in hell," he replied, taking them out.
The whole meal was a laugh. Two-Bit's sugar rush started to go away (which we were all highly thankful for) and soon, it was time to leave again. Darry said we needed to get back on track. Taking my Coke with me, we left the Dairy Queen after paying and loaded back into the car. Darry said that there were four more hours left for the trip. That was enough.
In no time, we were back on the road. It was ten o'clock in the morning, but I was already starting to get tired, probably because I'd only gotten six hours of sleep. Everyone seemed out of it, but we were kept in stitches because of Two-Bit. I was feeling a little queasy from all of the bumps that started occurring in the road. Going up and down on a full stomach didn't make you feel so hot, if you know what I mean.
It was another hour after eating at the Dairy Queen and no one was speaking at all. I guess everyone was feeling nauseous, too, because they all had this glaze appearance to their eyes. Even Dally had closed his eyes and put his head back, his hand wrapped around his stomach.
Something solid hit my shoulder and I turned to see Pony, fast asleep, with his head resting on me. Johnny was asleep as well, and Two-Bit's head kept falling forward, but he kept jolting back upright as if he didn't want to go to sleep. Finally, his body gave in. We'd all had a long night and little sleep. Steve's eyes were steadily drooping and Dally seemed the only one fully awake . . . or used to be. It turned out that when he'd put his head back, he'd fallen asleep. It was only me and Steve . . . uh . . . it was only me. And soon, it was only Darry.
Reham: So can you guys review? It's my stupid birthday, please review? Make me happy!
Soda: She's depressed 'cause 4 of her friends left in the same week as her birthday
Two-Bit (from inside cake): So now she thinks her birthday sucks
Steve: And now she has to go to her grandma's
Dally: Yeah, so she can help her cross the street
Reham: Shut up, Dal
Dally: What did you say dibshit?
Reham: You heard me, Winston
Dally: That's it
-Shoves Reham into the cake with Two-Bit-
Dally (proudly): REVIEW!
