The butt-gaming was, unsurprisingly, not wholesome in nature.

Lorenz, who was walking alongside me this morning, indicated his disgust with such things before the Beta Buck could get into any of the gory details, which I am thankful for. The Heir to the Alliance only got as far as a description of spitting into Hilda's anus in order to provide a lubricant for whatever it was he stuck in there.

Why would you stick something "up" an anus? Doesn't that block what's supposed to come down?

I suppose it's not my place to judge. People are entitled to their interests, and I suspect people would find my interest in killing people, Edelgard's smile, or protecting my band of misfits at all costs, just as strange as I find all of this Claudian and Hildian stuff.

Maybe I should ask Dimtiri about his views on such things. I wonder what they're up to in Remire?

Has Felix killed any villagers yet?


Shortly after this detoured discussion, we arrived at one of the checkpoints leading to the siege camp. Finding it abandoned, I had the Eagles establish a perimeter and instructed the Deer to close a circle around the station with the supply wagons.

The siege camp was, of course, not supposed to empty.

There was supposed to be a mixed-company of fifty mercenaries and knights guarding access to the canyon.

We made furtive advances towards the woods just before the canyon, and found some remnants of a struggle – blood stains on trees, but no bodies. It also didn't really stink of battle, looking as if most of these bloodstains came not from combat, but from execution.

Cords of rope scattered around the fringes of the supply dumps also confirmed this.

I called over to Ignatz and asked if he could make a sketch of the area to present to Seteth as evidence of his plan being a total waste of time and failure.

Maybe I'd finally give that guy a piece of my mind.

On second, thought, no. Imagery manages better than my terse attempts at speaking and unemotive face.

Leonie, now very eager to take my orders, informs me that most of the supply dumps had also been pilfered, which indicates to me that the bandits were well-fed now.

And of course, that we only had three days of food left for ourselves.

My first guess is that the bandits had sallied shortly after Fallstaff's desertion. With no leader, the mixed force here would've collapsed rapidly.

I express this to both of the House Leaders. Edelgard agrees with her eyes toward Claude, and Claude agrees with his eyes towards Edelgard.

What a fucking mess this is going to be... unless we strike quickly.


And I resolve on doing so, tomorrow. For now, these guys need to rest.

As a result, I ordered a double watch. Hubert and Edelgard volunteered, and I granted that knowing the Vigilant Vestra was as good a person as any to watch her back.

I prefer watching Edelgard's front anyway because her face is endlessly interesting to me.

She lacks traditional female assets in either direction anyway – as was the assessment of Lorenz earlier this afternoon – who suggested she was the type of woman you marry for increasing one's noble status, only. He did leave the door open on romancing her, which I was compelled to shut – noting that she had said neither I or her were interested in romance at this moment. Naturally, I defer to her judgement on such matters, because she reads a lot of books on chivalry and romance.

Anyway, I also felt compelled to rather inelegantly defend Edelgard and say that "I find her brilliant", and then after further questioning stated that brilliance "is likely beautiful", to which Claude informed me that no man wants to "wet their sword inside a woman's brilliance" – and that the part that it's worth wetting your sword in "is just as dumb as your sword is".

Claude, it should be noted, is an archer and does not fight with a sword.

Brilliance is also a faculty of the mind – and I have no desire to kill Edelgard, so while that part makes sense... the other stuff I just interpreted as Claudian logic designed to make me second guess everything. There is no part of Edelgard that I wish to impale – I would rather impale all her enemies instead.


Around midnight, His Deceitfulness was feeling antsy, probably because Hilda had opted to join a game of cards with Lysithea, Leonie, and Marianne in lieu of more butt-gaming with him. I had earlier warned Claude that if he was in the same tent with either Lysithea or Marianne, I would strangle him to death in front of Hilda.

If he wants to bother Leonie with butt-gaming, he can – as she seems a person deserving whatever that experience entails, as long as it is consensual. She is always grunting and being angry, so it seems like her kind of pastime. I find myself wishing she was the one sent to Remire and not Raphael, who seems like a standup fellow and one of the few non-antlered Deer, for lack of a better term.

Perhaps Raphael is the true Alpha Buck.

I'm also realizing that I feel a desire to protect Lysithea, perhaps because she was my student too for a week, in spite of her no longer being an Eagle – and that might be worth exploring. I am also… concerned for Marianne as well, given how Sylvain was hitting her.

Anyway, the Beta Buck tries to make amends by asking me to let him accompany me(?) on a scouting trip to the canyon's edge. I had no intent of making that scouting trip. He then offered to watch my back while doing it.

I suggested that he wear a blindfold, which he found funny.

I was being quite serious, and certainly did not emote it as humorous.

Then he just repeated his question ad-nauseum.

But I was feeling restless, however, so I eventually agreed.

At the very least, it would keep him from attempting more butt-gaming with anyone else.

Just after the clock strikes midnight, we crawl up to the canyon and I see a familiar Sickle-Headed figure.