Chapter 34

"How nice to see me here," he uttered seconds later, "well, uh…um…alright…nice to see you as well Michaela and you too, Rebecca, and Katie girl."

Katie ran toward her father, arms stretched as far as her six-year-old self could make them go. "Papa," she screamed in delight, overwhelmed by the sight of her father and by the idea that he was here and could take her away from the nasty academy and the girls who bullied her for the way she talked and the way she stood up for herself. She also hoped that she could convince her teachers that she wasn't a tomboy as they made it seem like being a tomboy was the last thing on earth she should ever desire to be. But for that moment she was merely content to lie in her father's arms, snuggled against his chest and away from the sadness and despair that her mother radiated and the worry and caution that aunt Rebecca seemed to exude from her own soul. "Papa, I missed you," Katie said, hugging him tighter.

"I missed you too, Katie. All three weeks ya been gone, I missed ya and your brother and sister too. Are they inside?"

"Mean Miss Louise has got 'em and probably made 'em go take a nap again."

For a moment Sully's throat caught in his throat as he thought of the abusive teacher who had come to Colorado Springs the year he and Michaela had started courting. 'Wasn't her name also Louise?' He thought to himself. Without thinking or waiting for Rebecca and Michaela to give him permission, he took his daughter and ran into the house and up the stairs to the room that Katie pointed out as the nursery. Father and daughter rushed inside, just in time to see the woman who must've been mean Miss Louise frantically trying to calm a crying Josef. Sully was relieved to see that it wasn't the same teacher who had visited them so long ago, and yet he did have to agree with Katie that she did seem a little mean when she raised an eyebrow quizzically at him over the screaming child and demanded, "Put Miss Katherine down at once and what are you doing in our house?"

"He's my Papa, that's who he is," Katie said defiantly, earning a glare from mean Miss Louise in return.

As she settled Josef and placed him back in the crib, she spoke over her shoulder, "So you're the one who broke Miss Michaela's heart, yes?" she said accusingly with a heavy British accent. "She cries for you day and night, she does. I guess it isn't much of my never mind what you do to that woman or her children, but if I was Miss Michaela, I wouldn't pay you a second thought."

"Well then," Sully said very politely, "I'm glad you're not."

The nanny gave a large humph and left the room, leaving Sully to repair the damaged relationship he had with his son and daughters.

"Mama does cry for you Poppy", Katie whispered into his chest after the nanny had gone.

I'm sorry Sweet Girl, I didn't do right by yout ma and I'm gonna try to fix it. I'll tell ya one thing, I love you, all of your brothers and sisters and your ma very much and I'm gonna love all of you that way forever." , he vowed curling her closer to him and cupping the back of her head with his hand.

The worried little girl soon fell asleep in her father's arms, sleeping more contently than she had in the three weeks since she'd left Colorado Springs.

As Katie slept in his arms, he turned slightly in the rocking chair he had chosen to sit in with Katie and gazed at the twins. They had changed in only three weeks, they were looking more like they're own people now, though Josef's looks still bared a good likeness to Sully's own features and Charlotte was still the spiting image of her mother. Sighing at the enormity of the situation and all that was at stake, Sully carefully freed an arm from around Katie and stroked his babies' cheeks, feeling silent tears run down his own.

After the rest of the house had gone to bed, Sully sat exhausted in the front room. It had been a tense dinner with barely a word being spoken between any of the parties sitting at the table. After his run in with the nanny, Sully had been careful to keep his children in his care for the better part of the evening, only releasing them when they cried for something other than a diaper change or a warm cuddle or when Katie was summoned to bed by yet another strange woman Sully did not recognize. Michaela hadn't spoken but that one sentence to him since he'd arrived, and though Rebecca had been pleasant, she had been stilted and on guard with Sully, only making polite conversation with him about the meal or during the part of dinner where Katie explained her school day. Sully was at a loss for what to do, as he knew that nothing could be done if the only people speaking to him were under the age of forty-five. Finally he had enough

As quietly as he could, he stood up from the chair, went around to where Michaela was sitting and whispered in her ear, unafraid of the looks from the other diners, "When you're done, will you meet me in the living room, pleases Michaela?"

She hadn't know what to reply, but a subtle squeeze of the hand from Rebecca under the table told her that all were hoping and praying that she would say yes. Slowly she nodded her head, almost imperceptibly to Sully's suggestion.

Without a word he went around to kiss Katie's head, and then walked calmly out of the room. An hour later, when the family was finished with dinner and Sully had helped tuck Katie and the kids into bed amidst protestation from Miss Louise, he and Michaela proceeded into the living room across from one another, she on the cloth-covered sofa and he in the afghan-draped easy chair. Sully took a moment to take his wife in before speaking, she had lost considerable weight and her small frame now looked frail and sickly. Her eyes were hollow and there were several bags under each, bags which had been concealed by make-up when he'd first arrived, but which now stood pronounced against her pale cheekbones. He was worried at the sight and wanted to take her in his arms, but dared not. He remembered his plan, and instead took a deep breath, hoping to calm his nerves and need to hold her close. "Michaela," he began, his palms sweating as they did the first time he'd asked her what he was about to. Only then he'd called her "Dr. Mike" and the formality had some home made it easier, now he was attempting to use Boston manners, but she was not "Dr Mike" now, she was Michaela, his Michaela. " I was hoping that you would join me for a walk in the park tomorrow, chaperoned by Rebecca of course," Sully stated, being careful to use proper Boston grammar and words. "I know that you might not feel comfortable with me, but I really need one chance to speak with you. No, no, that's not right, to spend the day with you. I'll come for you at 9:00 a.m. sharp and we'll have you and Rebecca home by 2:00 p.m. so that we all travel to Katie's school together fetch Miss Katherine from school," he said with a slight smile, hoping that Michaela could not see the fear of rejection in his eyes.

"Sully, I…don't know if that's such a…" Michaela was cut off by Rebecca who had been patiently listening at the bottom of the stairs.

"Nonsense, Michaela, go on. I would be happy to chaperone you and Mr. Sully for an afternoon. It has been a while since you've been able to get out and enjoy the city," Rebecca mentioned, shooting a definite look of pleading in Sully's direction.

"Rebecca!" she exclaimed, shooting her sister a deadly glare. Turning to Sully, she said, "I…I…shall not be free until 10:00 a.m.," she Michaela said, trying her best to forestall what she saw as an awkward situation. Sully was behaving as if he was attempting to court her in proper Boston fashion and it unnerved her a little. 'What was he trying to do?' she'd asked herself. 'How much had Rebecca told him in her wire?' For she knew as surely as she knew her own heart still loved Sully that Rebecca had sent a wire to him.

"Ten would be fine then," Sully said, again struggling under the weight of the stuffy syntax.

"I do have to ask you Sully, how was it you came by the knowledge that you would be so well-received in Boston, or if not well-received, quite needed?"

I didn't receive a notice. I came because I felt I was needed" Sully stammered, wishing that he could speak plainly and tell her that Cloud Dancing had said that the spirits willed him to this place in a dream and through his brother's coming, but he could not say those things to her now. He was attempting to court her as a Boston gentleman and the truth would be better left for when he knew she could receive it.

Michaela could tell that Sully had most likely received some sort of message, not by telegram or wire, but from the spirits or Cloud Dancing. Somewhere inside of her, her heart leapt both at the thought that Sully was attempting to woo her as a Boston man and that somewhere inside of him, still beat the heart of the Colorado mountain woodsman who still captured her soul. "I shall see you then," she said as she stood and prepared to walk to the stairs and up to her room.

"Michaela" Sully called, catching up to her quickly in four long strides. He took her hand into his and squeezed it gently, while resisting the urge to press his lips to the back of it. He knew they had not come far enough this night for that and he didn't want to ruin his chances by doing something that was too forward for her in her present state. "I just wanted to tell you goodnight and thank you"

In response Michaela had quickly and a bit roughly pulled her hand for Sully's and rushed up the stairs..

Now as he sat thinking about all that had happened and all that was to come, Sully felt as he had that first night in Boston so many years ago, physically closer to Michaela, but even futher away from her heart than he was on the Colorado plains

It was after midnight when he first heard it. He had fallen asleep sitting on the couch in the front room, dreaming dreams of times when he, Michaela and the children were a happy family full of love and warmth. The noise had woken him and he'd remained that way, trying his best to figure out how to approach the person whom he believed was responsible for the pained cries.

Now though, as he heard them becoming progressively more hoarse and desperate, he realized that the cries were not those of someone wishing to be left alone, besides the urge to go to her, soothe her and hold her was too strong to ignore.

"Michaela", he said softly outside her locked door, "Ya ok?" He knew she wasn't, but he also knew that he didn't have the right to tell her such things about herself in their present situation.

There was no answer, only slightly more muffled crying. And that worried Sully all the more. Knowing that he had to check on her somehow, he quickly ran down the stairs and out into the snow, rubbing himself for warmth as he realized that was going to attempt to climb up to and through Michaela's window in nothing but a dress shirt and pants and the elegant walking boots that Michaela he bought him on their last trip east before her Mother had passed. He chuckled to himself as he realized that he was wearing the exact opposite of the clothing that such a climb required and laughed again when he realized that it didn't matter because he had to get to his heartsong.

Halfway up the side of the house, Sully's foot slipped and he almost fell, but he refused to give into the biting cold and difficult climb. Michaela needed him and the fear that not providing for that need would hurt her more, drove him on. At last, he reached the window ledge and removed a small knife from his suit pants pocket to help him pry the window open while balancing precariously on the thr brick siding, when he discovered that the window was already open, he silently thanked the spirits and opened it fully. The rush of air startled Michaela and she was about to scream,when she saw Sully coming through the window, his eyes focused intently on her. '

"Sully!" she hissed as he came completely through the window and stood before her covered in snow.

"Yeah, it's me", he whispered sheepishly. "Had to be sure you were doin' ok." he said, the lateness of the hour making him forget his attempt to use Boston syntax.

"Well, I'm fine, so you can go now, thank you for your concern", she retorted, her words dripping with sarcasm. With that, she turned her head and buried it in her already sopping pillow.

Sully marveled for a moment at how much Michaela looked like Kate did when she was younger after she'd cried because she hadn't gotten her way. Abruptly though, the remembered why he was there and the urgency the matter had seemed to have as his snow covered legs began to ache and he winced.

Seeing the wince, Michaela momentarily forgot her own emotional pain and adopted her her doctor persona. "Sully, you have to get out of those pants or you'll get frostbitten. ", she said calmly though her heart was beating wildly in both fear and unexpected and unwanted excitement as Michaela realized that Sully removing his pants would leave him only in his underwear as she treated him.

Sully too, knew that the situation was going to be awkward and decided to use Michaela's desire both to treat his legs and to maintain modesty as a tool to get her to open up to him little.

"I'll only take 'em off if you first promise not to look and second, if you promise to tell me why ya were crying. " You sounded like you were havin' a bad dream"

"What makes you sat that, she asked, annoyed that he sill knew her so well, and yet, grateful that she didn't have explain herself quite as much as she had feared when Sully had issued his conditions for treatment.

"….Because, ya kinda sounded like Katie when she has bad dream and wakes up calling for one of us.", Sully said rather embarrassedly.

"I see…", Michaela mused, a small smile forming on her lips, a smile that made Sully's heart leap, for it had been so long since he'd been the one to make her smile. "I can adhere to first of your conditions, but the second…", her voice trembled and the small grin faded. " Dreams are personal Sully"

"I know, but maybe it'll help ya to talk about it, if bothered ya that much.", he prodded gently.

"Perhaps…" she conceded quietly.

Sully took that to be an agreement to his terms and turned his back to Michaela in order to show her that he respected the new or rather, historic level of propriety between them. Michaela too turned her back on Sully in the same gesture of respect and did not turn around or speak until he tapped her on her shoulder to indicate that he was ready.

When she turned around, she saw that Sully had a blanket at his waist even though he had on long underwear and that then under was only roll up to right below where the blanket covered.. She smiled another little smile at him and setting to work, halting began fulfilling the second part of her promise.

"I dreamt that I was wandering in the woods at home and that I kept calling and calling for someone to take me back to the house, but no one came, I was cold, frightened, lost and utterly…", he voice broke as she struggled to continue both her exam and her recollection. "Alone."

Sully reveled in the fact that she had called Colorado home, but saw the tears that had escaped her heartbreaking attempt to remain strong and as she was checking the blood refill mechanism of his reddened legs, he called her name.

Roused from the monotony of pressing and releasing patches of his skin, she forgot to wipe her tears away and thus looked at Sully with the purest expression of grief and pain he had ever seen.

"Michaela", he said again making sure he had her attention, but resisting his instinct to take her face in his hands or to wipe away her tears with his thumbs for fear of pushing her away. When he was sure he had her attention, he continued, "you're not alone." He whispered the phrase of assurance so gently and yet directly that the intensity of the moment was too much for Michaela. She refocused her attention on his legs for a moment before looking up at him once more, all doctor and pronouncing. " Your legs are slightly frostbitten, but a night under a warm blanket should warm them. You should get some sleep as well.", she prescribed.

Sully knew that that was his invitation to leave and he accepted it, knowing that Michaela needed to be alone, and he felt comfortable letting her be such as he was not as worried about her state of mind as he had been earlier in the evening.

Opening the door, he stepped out into the hallway and quickly turned back to face the rapidly closing door.. When he turned, Michaela stopped closing the door as she knew by the look in his eyes that he wanted to tell her something more before the confusing night ended.

"Michaela", he said, resting his hand on the half open door. "I just wanted to thank ya for looking at my legs and I wanted to ask ya if we're still going on an outing at ten tomorrow?"

Michaela nodded her head slightly in a shy response.

"Good", he whispered, meeting her eyes and holding her gaze for a beat. When she broke the stare, he said, " Good night Michaela and remember… you're not alone. " Turning, he walked silently back to his room, hearing her door close behind him.

Michaela climbed into bed and lay on her back against her now dry pillows, contemplating what it would feel like to never be alone again. For the first time in nearly a year, she fell into a peaceful sleep filled with dreams of what had been and what she hoped was what was to come.


This is my first fan fiction and I would appreciate any and all feedback, so please feel free to review the chapter and any subsequent chapters if you think they are of interest either here or be orginal and comment on the "Stand By Me" thread of the fanfiction section of the Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman forum The link to the thread is: http/forum.drquinn.us/viewtopic.php?t3949

Thanks, Corinna