LOVE IS FOR THE WEAK, BUT ONE IS WEAK WITHOUT IT

(Do You Love Me?)

By: Kiss-me-kitsune


Botan walked silently by herself, along the moist dirt of the forest, contemplating upon herself her situation: how Hiei had commented about her and her Prince Koenma's 'relationship', and how even he, the most insensitive guy in the team (or the world--all three worlds, even), noticed. She sighed.

"Perhaps if I find myself a boyfriend… then I will be happy." The idea made a tiny smile creep up her face. "Hm, let's see my bachelors... What about Yusuke?" She paused to play with the idea, and then settled with a silent chuckle, "Yeah right," knowing Keiko would have none of it. "He's a pervert anyway—not my type." She leapt over a puddle of mud.

"Ah, what about Kuwabara?" The image of the giant oaf, as Hiei loved to call him, presented itself in her mind, with a huge, goofy grin, his carrot-colored—not to mention 'shaped'—hair, and his rough, deep voice, saying, "I love you," somehow didn't seem too apealing to her. Her eyes caught the little ray of sun passing through the leaves.

"Kurama?" At this, she paused on her tracks. His image, very much the opposite that of Kuwabara's, looked so very luscious, enticing, somehow seducing. His red hair, his emerald, gentle eyes that could look menacing and piercing when he wanted it to, his wonderful scent already tickling her nose, his slender body, his charming looks... She felt like she wanted it all, but a quick look at reality sent her back on her tracks. He, the Kurama she wanted, already has a girlfriend.

It was she who made the move, of course, for Kurama, quiet and polite as he is, will always be the proud, arrogant Youko Kurama. He never asks; he just gets. Botan was unsure if he felt for her at all, for many girls (in the past or present... and future) have always adored him. But then again, whenever she sees the two, it seemed to her lik hey were shy couples, like a king and queen destined by their people to be married, who have never even met each other beforehand and feelings for each other are quite confusing.

She smiled. "Candy is such a nice person... She's very lucky to have Kurama finally settle down with her." She suddenly remembered the first time she saw them together.

Botan was floating around with her oar, waiting for the person she was about to send for his judgement, when out of idleness, she decided to go check on Kurama, just for the fact that his school was so close to her and she did have nothing to do. That's where she saw the two under a tree shade, with Candy's long, blonde hair swaying in the wind, and her petite frame, talking animatedly with Kurama, who was listening attentively. They would laugh here and there... and then she saw her lean and press her lips on his cheeks. Kurama seemed surprised, though he wasn't angry—in fact, it seemed to be a pleasant surprise.

Honestly, it came as a shock to her, but as time went on, she became accustomed to it, and he even introduced her in the group. It turned out she had some level of psychic ability and she seemed to know when something abnormal occurs. Botan felt glad for her old friend. "This will be their two months, I believe."

The girl resumed her walking, not thinking about anything for a second, and then all of a sudden, as if she hit a brick wall that just popped out of nowhere, she blurted out, "Hiei?"

Hidden behind an oak tree, Hiei asked himself, "Did she just call out my name?"

After finding out that sleepiness has worn off of him, he decided to secretly follow the ferry girl to wherever she was going, not knowing the reason why. He noticed that the girl has been acting strange, constantly stopping every time she mumbles out a name, and then stares off to something he could not see.

"Maybe she is delusional."

"...No, I can't—I dont. Of course not, that insensitive jerk."

Hiei raised a brow. He leapt to a nearby tree to listen closer, but Botan was now silent and seemed to be waging an inner war. When she trudged along, Hiei silently followed.

They came into a clearing. A huge lake lay in the middle, still, but alive. The ducks that quacked and waddled in the water fled as they felt an aura approach them. Botan took no notice. She neared the lake, sat down, and dipped her fingers in it. Behind her, the bush rustled. She sharply turned around. "Who's there?"

Hiei emerged from his hiding place, thinking that concealing himself would just frighten the ferry girl.

"Hiei? What are you doing here?"

"None of your bussiness."

Botan scowled. "I was just asking."

"If you really must know, and I know you must, for you women must always pry into someone else's business, I'm on my usual escapade, leaping from tree to tree because there is nothing else to do in this pathetic ningen world. How people actually find ways to entertain themselves baffles me." He motioned forward towards Botan and sat down next to her.

The girl smile. "Your humor is always entertaining."

"Hn."

Changing the subject, she voiced, "Look into the water and tell me what you see."

"Hn." The boy had to be coaxed before he moved. Finally, when he looked, he merely replied, "My reflection."

"And?"

Hiei frowned in confusion, but none the less answered to the best of his abilities. "The trees, the sky, the clouds, the birds... what do you wish to know?"

Botan nodded her head. "What about now?" she moved in closer to the water.

"... My reflection." Still he doesn't know where it was going to. "Truly, the ferry girl could be so confusing and odd sometimes," he thought.

"But do you not understand that I have no reflection?" She cast her head down and repeated, "I have no reflection... I'm merely a spirit, made to be the Prince's assistant, with not even a mortal body.

"For 1500 years, I felt so alone. For 1500 years, I've been like this, never growing, never aging. I have no idea of how I look like, of how it feels like to love. But of course," she let out a small chuckle, "I know I love you guys, but what I mean is love that is solely for me." She took a deep breath. "I must sound selfish, but let it be understood that I've waited for so long, longer than anybody, as far as I know." Tears threatened to slide down her rounded face.

Hiei was suddenly overcome with so many emotions that he could not understand and take in. Instinctively, he cupped her chin in his hand, looked deeply into her eyes, and breathed, "Your physique... let me assure you it's way more than you imagine. Your eyes... pink, but turns purple when happy. Your nose, womanly and petite... your lips..." he traced it with his thumbs and husked, "are soft, and lush... Kawaii na..."

Botan felt her ears burn.

Hiei, seeing Botan's reaction, woke him up from his weird reverie, and eyes widened. "What is wrong with me?" he thought angrily. "Why am I acting strange?"

"Thank you, Hiei..."

"Hn." He stood up and brushed his clothes, pretending the weird occurrence never occurred. He turned to leave and mumbled, "I shall be going now. Those two morons Yusuke and Kuwabara and the others must be done with school by now." He jumped and disappeared.

"Hiei..." Botan sat there affixed, the scene replaying in her mind until she was finally able to understand it fully. She looked up towards where Hiei disappeared to and whispered to herself, "Maybe Hiei isn't such a cold-hearted bastard afterall."