Chapter Nineteen
Sometimes, Armin dreamed about the crash. He could hear the shrieking of brakes, the screeching of metal, the shattering of glass, and a scream. He was sure it was his mother's. He remembered very little of his parents, but his mother's whimpering was embedded in his brain. She had quietly called out for her parents, her husband, and her son. It was the last memory Armin had of her, her calling out for him.
He knew the rest of the story by heart, though he didn't actually remember it happening. They had been T-boned by a truck who had run a red light. The force actually threw their car into the air, where it flipped and landed on the roof. Armin had a very hazy memory of hanging upside down, and a fire fighter lying below him, taking him out of his car seat. No one could explain how Armin had escaped virtually unharmed. He'd had cuts from the glass, but was otherwise fine. His parents weren't.
His father had died on impact, his side of the car taking the impact. His mother had held on for three days. Massive internal bleeding, including in her brain. Grandfather made the decision to take her off of life support. She died in his arms. Grandfather used to say he was glad his wife had already passed away, so she didn't have to watch her baby girl die.
The first night of break was one of those nights he dreamed about the crash. He woke up in a cold sweat, his mother's voice echoing in his head until it faded away. He grabbed his phone and looked at the time. 1:04. She could still be up. So, he texted her.
'Hey, are you up?' A moment later, his phone chimed.
'Why'
'Can I call?' There was a pause before Armin's phone started to ring. He answered it right away.
"What's wrong?" Mikasa asked instead of saying hello.
"Can you miss someone that you don't really even remember?" he asked.
"Did you dream about your mom again?"
"Her voice is so clear in my dream and then I wake up and…it's gone."
Mikasa was quiet for a moment. "I can't remember my mom's voice either. I don't know when it slipped away." Mikasa sounded sad. Mikasa's dad had been best friends with Dr. Jaeger, so after the Incident, it was only natural that she moved in with the Jaegers. She never talked about it. Eren had showed Armin some of the newspaper clippings, but Armin knew what it was like to have people gawk at your trauma, so he never delved into it.
"Don't the Jaegers have tapes?"
"It's not the same. You know it's not the same." That was true. Seeing or hearing wasn't the same as remembering. Memory was such a fickle thing. "Do you ever wonder if we were fated to find each other? Because of our histories?"
"I don't know. But I'm glad we did."
"You know, I think Eren was green with envy that first day." She giggled.
"He was jealous for weeks." Armin smiled as he let himself drift back to that day 7 years ago.
Armin stood patiently waiting on the Jaegers' front porch. It had never taken them this long to answer. He glanced back at the car where Grandfather sat. Grandfather would make him leave if they didn't answer soon. So, Armin rose up on his toes and rang the doorbell. Normally, all he had to was knock on the door. The front door swung open and Mrs. Jaeger stood before him.
"Oh, Armin. I don't know if today is a good day, sweetie."
"Oh." Armin had never been rejected before by the Jaegers. He had been told he was always welcome. He started to turn back towards Grandfather and the car when suddenly, someone seized his wrist and pulled him past Mrs. Jaeger and into the house.
"Eren!"
"I want to see Armin!"
"Let him in." Dr. Jaeger called from the living room. "Armin, there's someone you should meet."
"We have a GIRL living with us." Eren proclaimed.
"A girl you've known most of your life." Mrs. Jaeger chided. Armin walked into the living room and saw the prettiest girl he had ever seen in his life. As pretty as his Mama. She had pale skin, as pale as himself, but without the redness. Ruddy cheeked is what Grandfather called him. The girl had raven colored hair (he had recently read about ravens) down her back, and sad, dark eyes.
Dr. Jaeger spoke up. "This is Mikasa. She's going to be living with us from now on."
"She doesn't have parents anymore. Just like you!" Eren nudged him with his shoulder.
"Eren, that is enough." Mrs. Jaeger scolded.
Armin stepped closer to the couch, where Mikasa sat with Dr. Jaeger. "Hi, Mikasa." He said softly.
"Hi." She said back, just as softly.
"Why don't you sit down and show her your book, Armin?" Mrs. Jaeger suggested.
"Oh." Armin had forgotten that he was clutching one. It was his new book about volcanoes that he had wanted to show Eren. He sat down on the couch next to Mikasa. "Do you like volcanoes?" She just shrugged in response.
"That's not fair! Armin came over to see me!" Eren protested.
"Well, you're going to have to learn how to share." Mrs. Jaeger's voice sounded cold. "You have a sister now."
"I don't want a sister! She's not my sister!"
"Come here!" She grabbed Eren by the arm and pulled him from the room.
Dr. Jaeger stood up. "You kids stay here." He also walked out of the room. Armin set his book on his lap and opened it.
"So, my favorite volcano is the shield volcano. It has a lava flow called pahoehoe, which is a fun word to say." He flipped to that page in his book and showed her.
She slowly ran her fingers over the picture. "Pahoehoe." She said softly.
"That's right!" he grinned at her. "Isn't it a fun word to say?" She nodded her head. "Eren likes stratovoncanoes, because they're explosive. Typical Eren." He looked at her.
"When did your parents die?" She asked quietly, looking at his face.
"Five years ago. Our car got hit by a truck." Armin answered.
"So, someone killed your parents too?" She looked so sad, it made Armin's chest hurt.
"Yeah, but I don't think he meant it."
"Did he go to jail?"
"Yeah."
"I hope they go to jail. They meant it."
"Can I give you a hug?" Armin asked, setting his book aside. She nodded her head, and he wrapped his arms around her. She hugged him back and squeezed him tight. "I'm sorry someone killed your parents." He whispered. He hugged her until she chose to pull away. It seemed like she needed it.
"Will you be my friend?" She asked, taking his hand.
"Of course! We'll be friends forever. Like Eren and I." He wasn't sure what compelled him, but he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "Best friends."
"I thought WE were best friends!" Eren stood by the couch, tears in his eyes.
"We are!" Armin reached out a hand towards him. We can ALL be best friends."
"But I don't want to share you! Not with her! Not with anyone!" Eren tore out of the room and up the stairs.
"Eren!" Mrs. Jaeger chased after him.
Mikasa laid her head on Armin's shoulder. Armin felt a warm sensation in his belly, though he didn't know what it was. "Tell me about the volcanoes." Mikasa said softly.
Deep down, Armin knew that he had been in love with Mikasa since he had met her. A love stronger than any other he'd had, even for Eren.
"Do you want to meet up at the playground?" Mikasa asked through the phone.
"Right now?"
"When else?"
"It's one in the morning."
"So? I want to see you."
Armin couldn't believe he actually snuck out of the house. It was freezing outside. He huddled in his coat as he sat on the edge of the jungle gym. So many things in his life had happened on this jungle gym. It was where he'd become friends with Eren, survived a lot of fights, and had his first kiss. He smiled as Mikasa walked up. "Hi."
"Hi." She smiled back. From where she stood, they were at eye level. "You're turning into quite the bad boy, sneaking out this late."
"Just you watch what I'll do next." He grinned at her.
She pulled her hands from her pockets and cupped his face. "I can't wait to see what you do next." He leaned forward and kissed her softly. "You know, this isn't our first kiss on this playground?"
"I remember."
"Arlert's never going to get kissed by a girl!" Armin hated Max. They were standing on the playground at recess, which was usually when Max chose to strike.
"Shut up, Max." Eren stood between them, as usual.
"Make me, Jaeger." Max taunted.
"Eren, don't." Armin hissed, grabbing the back of Eren's shirt. "Another fight will get you suspended."
"Listen to your girlfriend, Jaeger." Max grinned.
"You know, Arlert looks like a girl. So, he'll probably end up as someone's bitch." Simon joined in.
"One of these days, Simon, I'm going to make you choke on your teeth." Eren growled.
"I'd like to see you try."
"I bet Armin will get kissed before either one of you losers." Mikasa stepped up beside Armin, making Simon and Max take a step back. "Because unlike you ugly freaks, Armin is actually cute."
"Cute for a girl, maybe." Max smirked.
"You keep calling him a girl. Is that to hide the fact that you're secretly attracted to him?" Eren asked.
"Are you calling me gay?" Max's face grew red.
"I ain't calling you straight." Eren smirked. "They say a lot of repressed gays bully others they view as gay."
"Shut up, Jaeger!" Max was clearly agitated now.
"Our point still stands." Simon cut in. "Who would want to kiss Arlert?"
"Me." Mikasa said suddenly. Swift as lightning, she leaned over and kissed Armin right on the lips. Armin heard Simon and Max gasp.
"Mikasa!" Eren exclaimed.
Mikasa pulled away. "Now, both of you buzz off before I make you regret being born." She cracked her knuckles. The boys jumped off the jungle gym and ran off.
"You shouldn't do that to Armin just so you could make a point." Eren crossed his arms.
"Who said I was just making a point? I wanted to kiss Armin."
"Why?"
"Because he's sweet and kind and adorable."
"But he's like your brother."
"No, he's not. He's like YOUR brother."
Armin wasn't fully paying attention to what they were saying. Mikasa thought he was adorable? Mikasa wanted to kiss him. Without thinking about it, he moved forward and pressed his lips to her's. "No!" Eren pushed his way in between them, pushing them apart. "Stop it, or I'm telling Mom!"
"What's your mom going to do?" Armin asked.
"Go ahead." Mikasa crossed her arms. "I don't care. She can't stop me."
"You two can't date!" Eren actually stamped his foot.
"Why not?"
"Because it will ruin everything!"
"Is that conversation why you won't tell Eren about us?" Armin asked, wrapping his arms around her waist.
"Armin-"
"That was five years ago. I'm sure he'd react differently now."
"He'll say we're ruining everything."
"He says that about everything. It never actually does. He'd get over it in a week, if he had any reaction at all."
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Then, what DO you want to talk about?"
Mikasa paused for a moment. "About how much I love you."
"I love you, too."
"No, Armin. That's not what I meant."
"Then, what did you mean?"
"I wanted to talk about what I'm willing to do, because I love you."
"I'm going to need you to elaborate."
Instead, she leaned forward, and kissed him deeply. Armin pulled her even closer. She pulled her head back after a moment. "I don't just want to kiss you."
"Then, what-"
"I want to go all the way with you." She snapped.
Armin's mind whirled. Did she mean what he thought she meant? "In…in the park?"
"No, not in the park! It's freezing out here!" she huffed. "I just meant, if a moment arises, you don't have to ask because I'm ready."
"Are you ready now? Because we could go back to my house."
"Armin!"
"You can say no!"
"I don't want to say no. But your grandfather-"
"Is asleep. As long as we're quiet, I think we'll be alright."
Mikasa smirked at him. "You really are turning into quite the bad boy."
"I told you to watch what I do next."
Mikasa leaned in and kissed him again before grabbing his hand and pulling him to his feet. "Well, come on then, tiger."
