"James?" Lily called to him in a somewhat manly voice. "What are those things on your pajamas?"
James didn't look up from his face-in-the-pillow position, "Tinky-Winky, Dipsy, Laa-Laa, Po. Teletubbies, teletubbies say 'hello!'" James sang in a melancholy tone. "I thought I had told you that when we were buying them. You had to make me get the footie variety, remember?"
When Lily didn't answer because she was silently laughing at his ridiculous clothing, James turned around.
Then he screamed.
"LILY! What are you doing here! And why are you staring at me, you disgusting, perverted stalker! I want you out! OUT! OUT I SAY! Leave me to wallow in peace. AND STOP THAT CHUCKLING!" James loudly cried while pointing vehemently at the door and collapsing into a pile on the bed. He was sobbing because his "manly demeanor" was ruined.
Lily was sobbing over a different matter. She tried to tease him about the little jingle he had performed, but was giggling so hard that she could barely breathe and could only say one word, "T-teletub-b-bies!"
It probably looked a bit odd for Remus to see Lily Evans and James Potter bawling on "The Bed of Doom" together.
"Uh-hmm. I'll just mosey on over to the bathroom. To leave you two and your wailing in peace. Nice seeing you Lily? Er, bye," Remus stated, sounding confused and purely overwhelmed at the spectacle.
Neither Lily or James seemed to notice the bewildered werewolf stumble into the bathroom and they continued to cry, until James realized he was crying over the loss of his manly demeanor. He shook his head in disgust.
"Why are you crying?" James interrogated with nausea, "I'm the one who has ruined my manly personality and I'm the one who was rejected last night in front of everyone; again!"
He flung his head back into his pillow and dramatically moaned to her, "Oh, it's too much. Leave me alone in my misery. Go on. Let me feel this pain."
But this burst of emotion from James only caused Lily to erupt into more hysterics, "M - m-manly demeanor. James Potter. Man-ly d-demeanor."
That is why James decided getting up and pushing her out of the window would be a good idea. He braced himself for the worse, went after her with incredible speed, and unleashed his warrior cry, "AGGGAAAAHH. OOAAA OOOAAA OOOOOAAA."
Lily's face turned a horribly pale color and took on a frightened look. She was not particularly used to being charged at by a "warrior" yelling nonsensical things. Then again, it might have been the pajamas that did her in. Either way she unleashed her own battle cry, a bloodcurdling scream, which sent a very nearly naked Remus hurdling out of the bathroom with shaving cream on his face and a razor in hand.
"Ooh-er," mumbled Lily, as she gracefully fell to the floor, after not-so gracefully tripping over a bottle of alcohol that is illegal on all seven continents.
— – — – — – — – — – —
When Lily woke up from her deep slumber her head was in lots of pain and the four marauders were standing in a circle around her while she squeezed her eyes shut, convinced it was a nightmare, and soon her roommates would tell her to move her hairy arse and all would be right in the world.
Or Lily's world would never be the same again. That's generally what happens when James Potter is standing in teletubbie pajamas above you, Sirius Black is laying down beside you claiming, "If she goes, I go too. Because I love her. I LOVE YOU LILY. DON'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE." and stroking you, Peter Pettigrew is wearing an awfully orange jacket with bits of puff sticking out of the collar of it looking worriedly at you, and Remus Lupin is looking at you with sympathy, silently apologizing for his friends, and wearing nothing but a towel.
My world would turn upside down. I can tell you that much.
Lily started to laugh. Remus and Peter exchanged looks of worry. As Sirius started to cry tears of joy and kissing the air he shouted, "Lily! You're alive! Our love can survive now! Muah. Muah." James sighed and sat down on the end of his bed.
Lily slowly stood up, slowly chuckling. Sirius looked devastated, "Lily! Where are you going? You can't leave me now, not after all that we've been through! You are my TRUE LOVE."
"You're right Sirius, what was I thinking? I'll stay with you forever," Lily pretended to follow along. Sirius stopped wailing and with that Lily walked out of the boys' dormitory.
"Sirius, mate, you really need to stop drinking before noon," Remus quipped.
– — – — – — – — – — – — –
After stalking out of the room, Lily could have been seen walking across the common room muttering things about her own stupidity. People were giving her dirty looks and whispering behind their hands.
"That Lily Potter" -snicker, snicker- "is always acting like a goody-goody, then she just comes gallivanting out of the Marauder's room? Something must be done," a particularly beauty-impaired girl was saying.
"You're totally right, she's abusing her place as Prefect," the girl's only male friend stated, looking wistfully at Lily. "But, I would kill to be her right now."
Lily, on the other hand, was going to have to perform "obliviate" on herself. It would be the only way of erasing this horrible memory from her brain. She ran up to her dorm and prayed Elli was awake.
Slowly Lily creaked open the door, "Ellll-iii. I lurrrve you, and I wish you could sleep a little longer, but I need to tell you a story, a really funny, sad story."
There was a distant groaning and a head appeared that had beautiful auburn hair. Elli opened her greenish gray eyes and gave Lily a disgruntled look, "What happened? Where'd you go? Why is there a bump on your head and lipstick on your cheek?"
Lily took a dep breath, "Sirius, James, Peter, and Remus happened."
Elli raised an eyebrow and waited for her best friend to sit down and tell her the whole tale. By the time Lily was finished, Elli was wetting herself with laughter, " A lot of people are wishing they could be you right now. Even that one guy, Brett."
That sent Lily into hysterics.
After awhile the gossiping got boring and they decided to head down to breakfast. Elli and Lily were walking along when out of nowhere a very drunken Sirius came hurdling towards them, a screaming small person in tow. Lily seemed to recognize the screaming small person.
"Haley!" Elli and Lily screamed at the same time, rushing to get their friend out of Sirius' grasp.
"No. You two are not touching my prize. I won her from that . . . one . . . guy. And she's allll mine. You hear? Mine," Sirius shouted in his drunken manner.
"Sirius, put Haley down. She is her own person," Remus reasoned with Sirius, coming to him from behind and startling him into dropping Haley, whose voice had gone hoarse and whose normally sleek blonde hair had gotten matted from Sirius' rough care.
She looked appreciatively towards Remus, then was helped up by Lily and Elli.
The three girls walked away, Sirius staring at their backsides and starting to salivate until Remus woke him from his reverie, "You need some breakfast in you. Ugh. And you need to brush your teeth."
– — – — – — – — – — –
That night James was sitting on his bed, slowly drinking his Firewhiskey, contemplating how his life was.
Peter was the designated divulger for this drinking time.
November 15th
Peter Reporting at 9:23
Gryffindor Tower
Erm. James says we're drinking because he wants to.
'Ello all! Peter here. Boy, am I excited to be here telling you about how fun my friends and I can be, just this morning Sirius ran down the hallway with Haley Thompson in his arms, and she is like a raging . . . flobberworm, er I mean hippogriff. A raging hippogriff.
James gave me some appler juice. Mmm. It's good, but a little bit sparkly.
– — – — – — – — – — –
A/N: I thought this was a good place to end because obviously Peter is not drinking applesauce. It'll create more of a structure for my next chapp. Oh, and I decided that Peter will keep divulging. Please R&R. And thanks for reviewing my other chapters. It made me happy beyond belief. Abbey.
