The fallen
Draco remembered the first lesson his father had ever taught him.
He had given him a rabbit when he was 5 years old without an explanation or a second look. Draco had been ecstatic, confused but ecstatic and had spent days setting up a home for his new found friend. He had cared for the rabbit the only way a 5 year old could.
With innocence and love.
Until one day one of his father's business partners had stepped on him on his way out the door. Draco had heard the sickening crunch of the rabbit's legs breaking beneath his shoe.
He remembered the way his father's friend had looked down at the mangled remains frowning.
Like a pebble in his shoe.
He had shaken his foot free and walked out the door without a second glance.
Devastated, Draco had scooped up his dying rabbit in his arms crying hysterically at his father's feet handing what remained of his rabbit to his father.
"Please fix him father" he begged.
Lucious Malfoy had look down at his son his eyes as cold as ice.
And broken the rabbit's neck.
Draco was five years old when his father had taught him the greatest lesson of all.
Needs make you weak.
Draco had been standing in the private waiting room of St Mungo's hospital for the better half of an hour staring blankly out the window.
He was not having a good day.
His should have suspected his day would go downhill when he had arrived at the offices of Malfoy enterprises at 7am to find an owl sitting on his desk waiting patiently.
He didn't need to look down at the letter within its talons to know who would be sending him letters this early on a Monday morning.
After-all, he had been ignoring her letters for weeks.
Pansy Parkinson.
Her once inquisitive and concerned letters had quickly spiralled into angry rants and tirades of abuse at his lack of response as the weeks went on.
He suspected this letter would be no different.
Sighing deeply he scanned the contents of the letter frowning.
Draco,
I have no doubt you will read this letter and discard it as you have done with the previous 35 letters that I have sent you over the past few weeks. But before you do so please listen to me. I have known you my entire life Draco. You are my oldest friend. I know you better than anyone else. So I know when you are doing something that is wrong. What are you doing? Why are you doing this? This isn't you. I know you! Why are you being such a moron?! I know you love her….
Draco teared the letter in half throwing it into the waste basket in the corner watching as it slowly disintegrated.
As usual, a letter from Pansy was enough to poison the rest of his day.
Her letters always started the same.
Understanding, sweet and caring appealing to their friendship and past- before ending in a tirade of abuse and curses.
From then onwards his day had proceeded to get worse.
With a cancelled meeting for which he had been waiting weeks for and money transfers gone wrong he was feeling the beginnings of a full-fledged migraine.
His terrible day had reached his peak with the appearance of Blaise's patronus in the afternoon telling him to make his way over to St Mungo's.
Draco, you need to get over here quick. It's bad.
What happened next was a blur.
"Mr Malfoy"
Draco was startled back into reality by the sudden arrival of the St Mungo's healer. Dolores Caninstorm. She was the best of the best. Well known in her field she had seen it all. Magical accidents, lost limbs, she was the master of her craft.
And the master of discretion.
Draco had chosen her for that reason alone.
"We have managed to reset her arm and wrist. We have also given her something to help her sleep through the night. She should be fine."
Draco nodded solemnly.
"Thank you madam caninstorm, I understand that this will be kept in the utmost confidence" he stated eyeing the healer with caution.
Dolores nodded in silent agreement before turning to make her way out of the room.
Draco sighed heavily.
He truly despised Mondays.
A sudden knock on the door alluded him to the presence of another. Draco frowned deeply. Upon arriving at St Mungos he had immediately sought a private wing of the hospital to avoid the prying eyes of the public.
And the press.
Walking over to the door he hesitated slightly before opening the door.
A young blue eyed boy stood staring back at him with sun tussled brown hair and a nervous smile. He had his hands tucked into his jeans as he stood nervously shifting from one foot to another.
Draco raised his eyebrow in question.
"Um hello, I was wondering how Hermione was doing?" he asked answering Draco's silent question.
Draco stared blankly at him in response.
"I was the one who found her you see so I was just hoping to find out how she was?" he continued avoiding Draco's stare.
"I did my best to get here as soon as I could" he continued attempting to fill the silence.
Draco felt his headache return.
"And you are?" Draco asked quietly
"Um Terry Boot, we go together to Hogwarts. I'm in Ravenclaw" he answered eagerly gesturing to let him into the waiting room.
Draco ignored him staring blankly at him in return.
"She's fine. I will let her know you asked" he replied before closing the door.
Draco turned his back to the door letting out the breath he had been subconsciously holding. Rubbing his temple in frustration he leaned against the door.
The last thing he needed were more questions.
More prying eyes.
And more attachments that would lead to inevitable heartache.
"What do you mean I can't see her? Who exactly do you think you are? I want to see who runs this place immediately!"
Draco cringed internally at erratic sounds of Pansy Parkinson's voice echoing the hallways. The fluttering sounds of footsteps alluding him to Blaise's presence as he hurried to keep up with his fiancé.
Draco held his breath for the inevitable.
The door to the waiting room sprung open as Pansy and Blaise breezed into the room in a flurry of movement.
Draco turned to face his friends loathing the inescapable confrontation that he knew was coming for weeks. Draco had long concluded that Pansy Parkinson and Blaise Zambini were the only family he had left.
Instead of the endless tirade of curses he had been expecting, Pansy eyed Draco with clear disdain before ignoring him blatantly and choosing instead to sit in the corner of the room. Blaise ran his hand through his hair in agitation "Pansy come on, are you really going to be like this? Especially now?" he asked his fiancé moving to sit next to her.
Pansy ignored him inspecting her fingernails instead.
Blaise turned to Draco appealing to his friend instead. Draco shrugged in response seating himself across the room.
He wasn't going to initiate this as long as he could help it.
The tension in the room was thickening.
"Okay I am tired of playing the go-between the two of you. This has gone long enough. Don't you think we should be on the same side?" Blaise stated doing nothing to mask the irritation.
Pansy looked up at her fiancé before glaring at Draco.
"I am the one that has been trying to talk to him for weeks. He has done nothing but ignore me and my letters for weeks. 36 LETTERS Blaise!" she replied angrily before looking down at her nails again.
Draco sighed for the umpteenth time.
"Pansy, I did reply to you the first time you sent me a letter. I told you I had nothing further to say on the matter" he spoke for the first time.
Pansy jumped to her feet angrily turning on Draco. Her eyes set ablaze.
"Nothing further to say on the matter? Well Draco if you had bothered to read my letter this morning maybe this would have been avoided" she spat.
Draco choosing to ignore her stared out the window.
But Pansy was not one to be ignored.
"If you had bothered on visiting her you would know they are bloody torturing her at that blasted school! How can you stand by and do nothing?"
Draco closed his eyes clenching his teeth.
He refused to be baited.
"I mean did you see the state she is in? She's bloody miserable!"
Draco felt the water build behind the dam.
It had been building for weeks.
"Don't you think I know that? Do you think I don't know what they are doing? I know exactly what they are doing. But I have done everything that I can. " he replied through clenched teeth.
And he had.
He had done everything that was in his power.
Everything he could.
It wasn't enough to save her.
He didn't know anything could.
Pansy refused to back down.
"Then why haven't you visit her?! Why haven't you gone to see her? Do you know what she thinks? She thinks you don't care! She thinks you have forgotten her! She thinks it was all for nothing!"
The damn burst.
"You think I don't care? She thinks I don't care? Everything I have done has been for her. I let my father hang for her. I stood by and watched my mother get the dementors kiss for her. I burned every bridge and everyone I knew in order to save her. Don't you dare think for a moment there is anything past or present that I would put in front of her."
Draco felt the rage bubbling to the surface.
He was tired.
He had been fighting against himself and he was tired.
Tired of the fighting.
Tired of the politics.
The war hadn't ended.
Not for him.
"Then why haven't you been to see her?" Pansy repeated carefully as Blaise eyed Draco thoughtfully.
This was the question his friends had been asking him for months.
Why he refused to visit her in Azkaban.
Why he refused to visit her in Hogwarts.
Why he had turned away from her.
"Because I gave up everything to make sure she came out of this alive. Right or wrong, it was the choice I made. It was the deal I made."
Pansy frowned in confusion.
While Blaise watched his friend sadly.
He wondered how much more his friend could withstand.
Was it too heavy of a price to pay?
"I don't understand?" Pansy asked breaking the silence that had filled the room.
Blaise placed his hand on her knee forcing her attention on him.
"He had to give her up Pansy. It was the price he paid"
Draco remembered the last lesson his father had taught him. It was the day before his execution when Draco had visited him in his cell.
Lucious Malfoy had laughed callously all the way to his death.
'You will never be free my son. Not from a love that makes you its slave'
Even in death Lucious Malfoy had the final word.
It was his hardest lesson of all.
