Ah! Hi! I didn't update for a long time, I'm really sorry. But here is another story and... I'll try to update the next one faster.

Pairing: Ichigo x Rukia
Warnings: Well... a little angsty...? Maybe a little?
Spoilers: From chapter 50 onwards, set pre-soul society arc
Genre: Drama

Disclaimer: I do not own bleach or any characters. -still cries-

Thanks to reviewers:

Larka14: Oh, make Isshin in a drabble? Hmm... I'll think about it... But should it be the cool "new" Isshin or the old donkey one:)

DeathAngel-Lavenda: So you liked it:D

Kuu-sama: Yeay, Chappy is pretty cool... XD

anGel Hinaningyou: Thank you, I'm still happy when someone reviews because of chapter 1. :)

sinmay: Thanks a lot, your corrections were really helpful, I'll try to improve but I can't guarantee something. Please help me again. :D And actually I don't know if there's Chappy in the human world but Chappy is just that great that it should be everywhere! XD

animefreak-shinobi: Really, really, really, really, really glad you liked it! ;) So see, I updated.

Here we go!


Memoria


A noisy knock at the door rudely awakes me from my early morning's doze. It's like that every day, and bit by bit, I begin to forget that it could be different, that so many things could be different from now. Just like every other morning. I open the door furiously and shout at Ichigo that he should be more quiet. Like usual he comments that remark with a grunt and offers me the plate with the breakfast. I eat up silently before I leave the room on my familiar, alernative way. I think I used to be quiet more often the last time, but I hope that Ichigo didn't notice anything. I listen up when a voice reaches my ear, of course it is his.

"Rukia! Wait a sec!"

I wait for him to catch up to me and I continue listening.

"Is it possible that you've gotten more quiet the last few days?"

Inside I wince. Am I really that bad in hinding it? I feel that I'm trembling with tenseness when I reply slightly hesitating.

"No, everything's alright. What should be wrong?"

He shrugs.

"Dunno. Just a feeling."

He buries his hands in the pockets of his trousers and walks quietly besides me.

Did he worry about me? Does he care for me?

I'm smiling faintly. It actually seems that he can read me like a book, but I won't tell him.

He wouldn't understand.

He wouldn't understand why I don't sleep at night anymore.

He wouldn't understand why I'm sitting in front of his bed and watch him.

He wouldn't understand that I have to go away.

If he knew, he would try to hold me back. But I have to go, I know that I have to. He can do as less as I can to prevent it, so it's better he doesn't hear anything about it. It's better for him to forget me and I'm really hoping that he does.

But why does my heart ache due to that thought even if I hope so badly?

Perhaps it's my own selfishness that my soul won't endure to be seperated from him, and my heart will cry when he forgets me. When he just lives on like nothing had ever happened. So I will cling to my memories and that's why I'm sitting in front of his bed and why I'm watching his sleeping face. I try to imprint every detail in my mind, every shade, every triviality. Maybe it's my weakness that hinders me from facing the truth and makes me escaping from reality. But I won't forget what it meant to me being with Ichigo. So I sneak to his bed every night and I don't do anything but watching him.

I don't want to forget.

At school they also ask me whether something is wrong with me. Is it that hard for me to play the role of the giggling school girl? It probably is, but I try to assure them that everything is all right. Everything is all right, isn't it? It's okay to leave anything behind and return to soul society, isn't it?

Neither I want to forget this school and my friends, nor the troubles and the rumours. Somehow I became used to them and so I'll miss them, too. There are so many things I want to remember to the end of time, but especially I want to remember him.

Therefore this night is like the night before.

I won't forget.

Sometimes I believe this certainty made it easier to made my decision, but on the other hand I know that it isn't a decision, but a moment which I'm putting off. The longer I'm putting it of, the nearer it comes, unstoppable, like the cruel sound of a clock.

That is why it's always the same every night. I tell myself it was like every other night even if I feel that it's not. Something is different. And then I perceive what is different.

He slowly opens his eyes and looks at me directly when he pulls me down to him. I feel his warm breath on my skin and I see strands of my hair brushing his cheeks. I just slightly realize what happens when he leans up to me and kisses me. I just know one thing; I don't want to let this moment pass by, but when he leaves me I come aware of everything I have to let go.

I don't want to go away.

He would say that I should stay.

But I have to go.

And I know one thing.

I won't forget.

-Owari-


If you liked it please review. Thanks a loooooot! XD