Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Stargate Atlantis, its characters and all related entities are the property of MGM/UA, Double Secret Productions, Gekko Productions and The SciFi Channel. Story created for entertainment purposes only. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made.
AN: I haven't seen anything past season 1, but let's pretend that, at some point in the future, Kolya finally loses it (his sanity, last shred of humanity, etc), shall we? Alternatively, call it OOC, AU or whatever abbreviation you fancy...
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Dilemma
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"Choose…"
He hated that voice.
Really hated it.
Not like in 'can't find my socks, out of coffee, bad hair day' hated it. Thát he wouldn't even classify as worse as annoyance, mostly because it pretty much described an everyday day for John Sheppard. Annoying was a word better reserved for other voices, including that of an egocentric oily haired scientist when he pretended he was a genius and that of a certain snarky certified genius when he pretended he was egocentric.
No, hate was a completely different level to John, one he didn't often feel the compulsion to visit. To get him there, you really had to piss him off. As in claim his city, kill his people, torture his best friend and nearly kill his leader…
John really wanted to show the man just how much hate he felt for him. He had some pretty impressive death-glares, even if he said so himself. It would unsettle his enemy, make him hesitate, perhaps inspire some self-preservation against the rage John would unleash as soon as he got out of these goddamn bonds.
But at the moment, he couldn't spare his eyes for such a thing, the importance of which paled in comparison by their current task.
Right now, all he could do was gaze steadily into two frightened blue eyes, offering friendship, understanding, forgiveness and determination.
And a heartfelt plea: 'Pick me!'
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"Choose!"
The voice was louder this time, and the undertone of danger clearer.
And it sounded too damn smug. As if he already knew his victim would break. As if the situation would play out like once before.
She had a similar déjà-vu, but her thoughts were of irony, not victory. Last time, they had tricked him, mislead him and kicked him out of her city.
Elizabeth Weir hoped fervently that the situation would repeat itself. But she could not expect Rodney not to break this time. She strongly suspected he had previously only partially given in to safeguard her from torture, and not just because he had been afraid for his own safety. Since her first meeting with her head scientist, she had needed to re-evaluate her opinion on him, several times.
Silent waters may run deep, but the extremely turbulent surface in Rodney's case hid a great depth equally well.
Although right now, the physicist seemed pretty much an open book, fear and desperation written plainly in his expressive face, his usual bravado having long since crumbled in the proximity of one of his worst enemies.
Elizabeth prayed he'd find the strength to do what he had to do. To do what she knew without a doubt was the only option available. An option she was equally certain would kill him just as surely. Not physically, no, but buried deep under layers of sarcasm, egoism and bluster, there was a sensitive heart, scarred horribly before, battered and bruised, but not broken. Never broken. Not yet.
But soon it would be…
Genii commander Acastus Kolya grabbed Rodney's jacket collar and pulled roughly him to his feet.
Elizabeth's eyes sought Rodney's, conveying wordless support. 'Don't let him break you, Rodney, don't ever give up fighting…'
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"CHOOSE NOW!"
He cringed, not as much at the sheer volume of the command, or even the deadly malice behind it, but because of the way it was accompanied by the sickening crunch of Rodney being shoved into the wall.
As a medical doctor, Carson Beckett was keenly aware of the possible repercussions of a head colliding solidly with a hard unforgiving object. He knew Rodney had a thick skull, but he suspected his friend was at least suffering from a doozie of a head-ache right now, possibly topped with blurry sight but hopefully devoid of any internal bleeding. On that account, he didn't like the glassy look in those wide blue eyes and the way Rodney's head had lolled to the side.
Kolya released Rodney from his grip. Carson watched helplessly as Rodney slid down, a limp body sagging to the floor, kept in a slumped seated position only by the wall's support.
His every fibre screamed at him that he needed to move, now, to run to his friend and to tend to his injuries, to tackle that bloody son-of-a-bitch Kolya and to tuck his friend safely away in the cosy warmth of his infirmary…
But he was trussed up and gagged, like an overgrown turkey, a reluctant spectator to the terrible torment Rodney was being put through. A torment that was even worse on the psychological than the physical level. It was the classical dilemma. Not one way out could be preferred over the other, decided either by logic or by emotions.
And Carson knew without a shred of doubt that it would be all the more horrible for Rodney than any other person. A genius capable of imagining the outcome of either choice in the utmost detail…
An ancient Scottish ire in his blood stirred awake, born out of a strange protectiveness he felt for Rodney. The same protectiveness he could see in Elizabeth and Colonel Sheppard. Idly, he wondered how the arrogant, whiny scientist managed to inspire such a reaction in people.
He wanted to rant, scream at the universe, pounce at that damned Kolya, wipe out the entire bloody Genii home planet if he had to… If only anyone would be foolish enough to untie him right now…
Frantically, his gaze darted around, looking for an escape.
The look in Rodney's eyes stilled his turbulent emotions.
It wasn't acceptance.
And above it all, Carson felt pride.
Because the fire of defiance in Rodney's eyes had lit up.
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"I can't…"
The voice was fragile, rough from coughing and sounding rather breathless.
But through it all, there was a calm determination. Like he hadn't just been placed in front of the most horrible dilemma anyone could possibly fear to decide.
For the first time, Rodney McKay took his eyes off his friends and fully met the steel gaze of the Genii commander.
Kolya sneered, his tone a low and dangerous growl. "You decide: your friend's lives, or Atlantis?"
Rodney didn't flinch as two of Kolya's goons stepped up to him, and pulled him upright. He let himself hang limply in their grip, but didn't break eye contact with the Genii commander.
"You want me to choose between killing my friends or killing the hundreds of innocent people in Atlantis? I can't make that choice…"
"Oh, come on, doctor." Kolya taunted darkly "For a leader, isn't the choice obvious? You would not sacrifice few lives to save many more?"
The answer was immediate, and however soft it was understood loud and clear by everyone in the gate room. "No."
Kolya snarled, stepping uncomfortably close in front of the physicist. "Then, the guilt lies with you!"
Rodney struggled free from the grasp the two soldiers still had on him, standing tall, if slightly shaky, and replied in a strangely calm tone.
"No. I won't kill them. You will. I could never. I can't decide which life is more valuable. Quantity or quality. Every life is sacred, and belongs only to oneself. No one can judge a life…, at least no one on this plane of existence can. So I will not choose who dies. I will only do all I can to save every single life. I can only offer you my life, but I doubt you'd take it… In the end, it will always be your choice..."
"Fine!" Kolya snapped, "I'll take it!"
A gun shot reverberated through the gate room, its echoes battering mercilessly upon the hearts of all those present.
"And then some…" the Genii commander whispered harshly in the sudden complete silence and stepped back.
Rodney crumbled against the wall, a patch of red rapidly spreading on his left shoulder.
Rivers of blood drowning a maple leaf...
"You can also choose not to kill…"
Rodney's voice was merely a whisper, but his eyes spoke of a world of hurt.
"Not any more." Kolya said, sounding unrepentant as he took aim again.
The second shot caught Rodney squarely in the chest.
Baby blue eyes widened slightly before fluttering closed.
Kolya didn't spare the body even one last look as he left the gate room, yelling at his soldiers to take the hostages with them.
