Disclaimer: I do not own Divergent, any of the characters or any of the dialogue that comes directly from the text.
Since the transfers have left the compound and are headed to the wall today, I am on control room duty. The only initiate related task I have to do is make up the schedule for the next round of fights. With so few transfers and two rounds gone the options are more limited…not to mention all the friendships that have formed make it even harder. Pitting friends against each other tends to skew the results. I want to see the initiates trying their hardest and giving everything they have. When you put friends against each other in hand to hand combat you rarely see their full potential.
When I passed by the initiates on their way out this morning, I couldn't help but notice that Tris' bruising and swelling had barely gone down. While I want to see her fight again, I'm worried that another round like that, so soon, may cause permanent damage. I could pair her up with Myra but…everyone knows Myra is the weakest of all the initiates. I don't want them to suspect I'm going easy on her. I could pair her with one of her friends and hope they take pity on her...if I put her against Christina the initiates would assume I was trying to force them to work against each other. But that option leaves Tris' fate up to Christina. On the other hand, most of the initiates underestimate Tris, so if I do pair her with Myra they may just think I'm pitting the weakest initiates against each other and Tris is sure to win.
The screen to my left breaks me from my thoughts as I notice a couple of factionless about to come to blows just outside the boarder of the Candor sector. Fights amongst the factionless are fairly common and with no other factions involved I move on from the screen and scan through the rest of the monitors.
After flipping through the cameras around the city I switch over to those within the Dauntless compound. The Dauntless born initiates are on their third round of fights. It is clear by the calculated way in which they move around the ring that they have far more extensive training than the transfers. The transfers don't realize how lucky they are to be fighting each other rather than the Dauntless born.
As I continue exploring the cameras, I find Max who appears to be having a meeting with Jeanine. I didn't realize she would be visiting today. They are deep in conversation, their faces serious and their arms crossed over their chests. Whatever Jeanine is saying to Max, she doesn't seem to be very happy with him. I'm really in no mood to deal with her, hopefully she doesn't come ask me about potential Divergents. Her response to my report was only two words. Keep looking. I'm not really sure what to make of that.
I watch them until she leaves. Half expecting her to barge into the control room looking for me, but she never comes.
The next round of fights is fairly uneventful. Tris takes out Myra in under two minutes, Myra doesn't even land a punch and I am vindicated in my choice to pair them up. The constant physical strain is starting to take a toll on the initiates and I can tell by the bags under their eyes that despite their fighting skills improving, their bodies are beginning to betray them. I'm curious to see how they will cope with the next phase of initiation. Their bodies may thank them, but many minds have been broken from the fear simulations.
My shift is over and I head to the dining hall. Tonight we will be surprising both the transfer initiates and the Dauntless initiates with a game of capture the flag. While the game is meant to give the initiates an opportunity to exhibit their strategy, teamwork, and shooting skills I have always found it to be a great way to let off steam. A perfect opportunity to forget about the stresses of initiation…and of course a chance to shoot the initiates who are driving me crazy.
Four and I will be acting as team captains and hopefully I'll get the chance to shoot him too.
I am halfway to the dining hall when I hear the shuffling of footsteps behind me. I stop abruptly and feel someone walk right into my back.
"What the hell do you think you are doing?" I yell at the offender as I turn to face them. My face softens slightly as I realize who has bumped into me.
"Tris?" I say questioningly.
"Sorry, I…I wanted to talk to you but I wasn't sure how to approach you…" she starts.
"So you decided walking into me was the best tactic?" I respond, eyebrows raised. She looks so flustered, nervous. I almost want to laugh.
"No…I…you stopped and I didn't…" she continues.
"So you're saying it's my fault I got walked into?" I mean for it to come out jokingly but from the look on her face she's not taking it that way.
No shit Eric, when is the last time you joked with anyone? She's just as scared of you as everyone else.
"I'm kidding," I say. "What did you want to talk to me about?"
She looks at me oddly before shaking her head as if trying to remember the answer to my question.
"I wanted to talk to you about the fight today. I want to know why you put me against Myra," she responds, her eyes serious, arms across her chest.
I debate telling her the truth…that I was trying to protect her…but she'll want to know why and if I'm being honest I haven't yet figured that out myself.
"I paired everyone up with the initiate who I thought they were most equally matched." It's not the truth. Tris is far beyond Myra, but it's what I know everyone else believes so I figure she will accept it.
Her face falls briefly. She looks a little…hurt? In an instant it's gone.
"But what about what you said the other night?" she asks loudly, anger marring her features.
A group of Dauntless members a few feet away turn and look at us. Her words, while innocent, could be taken a very different way.
I debate making a cruel joke about "the other night" and walking away to save face in front of them, but the hurt has returned and I don't want to add to that hurt.
"Follow me," I say, only loud enough for her to hear. I start walking back down the hall before she has a chance to respond. She follows me anyways.
We reach the door to a nearby utility room and I motion for her to wait as I double check that it is empty.
"I meant what I said," I say simply.
She stares at me.
"You think I'm just as weak, just as scared…just as likely to fail out of Dauntless as Myra?" She starts and I realize she's misunderstood my words. "I know that everyone thinks that of me. Heck, Four thinks I'm so pathetic it wasn't even worth his time to watch me fight Peter…but after I got out of the hospital…"
"No," I cut her off. "That's not…what I'm trying to say is I meant what I said that night. The night you left the hospital."
There's a brief silence.
"So you don't think I'm like Myra," she says apprehensively.
"You're nothing like Myra."
Her posture softens.
"Then why? Why did you make me fight her?"
I sigh, running my fingers through my hair. Screw it.
"You're barely healed…I didn't want to see you back in the hospital."
"So you DON'T think I could have beat anyone other than Myra," she responds, the hostility back.
"That's not…I don't know…maybe you would have won, maybe not. But with anyone else you would have gotten hurt. I knew with Myra you would be safe."
"Safe," she repeats quietly.
I nod.
"You wanted to keep me safe?" she asks softly, her head tilted. "Why?"
And there it is. The question I don't have an answer to.
"I don't know," I say truthfully before abruptly turning and leaving the room.
I know it's the cowardly move…very undauntless of me, but I'm not ready to talk about it…not ready to figure out why I care about Tris' safety.
I make my way towards the dining hall once more. Tris does not follow me.
For some reason that chapter was a struggle. But thank you for continuing on this journey with me! I would love to hear any comments or feedback you have. Next chapter will be capture the flag!
-MWB
